


Start Again

by Epic23



Category: General Hospital
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Murder Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2017-12-10 17:18:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 124,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/788241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epic23/pseuds/Epic23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the death of a beloved character, can the past two lovers come together for comfort or will this latest tragedy drive them apart forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Already Over

**Author's Note:**

> Just thought I'd bring this over from fanfiction.net. Enjoy!

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline. If I did, the show wouldn't be on the chopping block right now ;)_ **

**_Things to know:_ **

**_Jason and Sam are together and she's pregnant_ **

**_Lucky is gone for good_ **

**_Jake is dead_ **

**_Robin did die in the hospital explosion (lame exit though)_ **

**_All other story lines are basically the same, though I'm not going to include the new characters from OLTL because I don't watch that show and don't know the characters._**

* * *

 " _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

  **Chapter 1**

**_Already Over_ **

_Flashback to December 2008…_

"I don't need to hear about the danger Cameron and Jake were in. I have lived it over and over in my head."

_You never go, you're always here  
Suffocating me_

He watched as she walked away from him, back facing him as if she was too disgusted to face him. She should be, he almost killed her son, their son. He bowed his head, but when she turned to face him, there wasn't disgust, just love. The kind of love that made this so much harder.

_Under my skin, I cannot run away  
Fading slowly_

"I'm sorry I let it go as far as I did."

_I give it all to you, letting go of me  
Reaching as I fall_

He wanted to reach out and gather her in his arms, protecting her from all the dangers of his life, but he couldn't. The stabs of pain that went through his heart were numbing and calming at the same time. He tried to lift his head to look into her eyes, but he couldn't. The shame and powerless feelings left him vulnerable.

"No Jason, you warned me. You made it clear you wanted the relationship to end because of the danger. And I'm the one who rationalized and justified and I came up with this ridiculous notion that if we just- just loved each other enough, that would protect us."

 _I know it's already over now_  
Nothing left to lose, loving you again  
I know it's already over, already over now

She was rationalizing again, making it seem like it was all her fault. It was his fault, he should have never agreed to a secret affair. His life is too dangerous for any woman or child.

"I should have said no."

She looked at him with sadness that mirrored his own. Tears in both of their eyes, they didn't want to continue, but somehow they did.

 _My best defense, running from you_  
I can't resist, take all you want from me  
Breaking slowly

"You did, you did. I'm the one who ignored your warnings and I ignored reality. I put my children's lives at risk because I just wanted to be with you."

God, this woman that he had loved for so long was walking away. She was always the woman that was too good for him, a dream that reality had to invade.

"I promise I'll give those boys a good life, a safe life. I promise not to call you or see you. I'm sorry it took me so long to see the truth. And I'm really sorry I hurt my boys and I hurt you out of my own selfishness."

 _I give it all to you, letting go of me_  
Reaching as I fall  
I know it's already over now

They were both at fault for wanting something they couldn't have. He went to lift his hand to wipe away the hot tears on her face, and then realized that it wasn't his right anymore. She watched as his hand fell back down to his side.

_Nothing left to lose, loving you again  
I know it's already over, already over now_

"We're both responsible and now we know what we need to do. There will be no contact with me... you... and Jake again."

His mouth was working on its own accord, as if he was a robot. He had no idea how he found the words or strength to say what needs to be said.

"I will never see my son again. Jake wont have my name and I can't be a in any way that matters, so please, let me provide for his future."

She turned down his money, add that wound to his already bleeding heart. She wanted nothing to do with him and he couldn't blame her. He had no idea how wrong he was.

_You're all I'm reaching for  
It's already over_

"I promise I'll give those boys a good life, a safe life. I promise not to call you or see you. I'm sorry it took me so long to see the truth. And I'm really sorry I hurt my boys and I hurt you out of my own selfishness."

_All I'm reaching for  
It's already over now_

Tears were falling down his face, but at the moment he didn't notice. He just stared into the blue eyes that were currently breaking his heart. She was making all the wrong promises. She should be promising to spend the rest of her life with him, promising that she'll love him forever.

_Give it all to you, letting go of me  
Reaching as I fall_

"I was selfish too."

_I know it's already over now  
Nothing left to lose, loving you again_

She looked at him in surprise. She didn't realize how much he really loved her, even if he didn't say it enough. He held her gaze as she started to move. He wanted one last kiss, one that he could commit to memory and remember for the rest of his life. He moved towards her, but she shook her head slightly. She smiled weakly at him, wiping away at her own tears. She gathered her black coat around her, bracing herself for the harsh winds that were beyond the court's doors. The silence between them was foreboding, but their eyes spoke volumes. At that moment, they both knew that it was already over.

 _I know it's already over now_  
It's already over now  
I know it's already over, already over


	2. Fight Inside

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline. Oh boy, how different this show would be if I did…** _

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_  


* * *

**Chapter 2**

_**Fight Inside** _

He had been in this position before and he hated it. He hated the feeling of being helpless, like a child. The darkness that surrounded him didn't help either. His mind wandered, sorting through memories of past events. He could remember everything, right up to going into surgery. He remembered looking at Sam, then to Patrick.

_Enemy familiar friend  
My beginning and my end_

Voices swirled all around him, yet all he saw was darkness. He couldn't register who was talking or what they were saying, but he could catch random words. He pieced words together, finally figuring out that the voices were talking about him. There were a few, one he recognized to be Sam's. Of course she would be there, she's his wife.

_Knowing truth, whispering lies  
And it hurts again_

There was an angry voice, not loud, just angry. It was low and menacing and it was arguing with Sam. It was a male's voice, but he couldn't put it together. Another voice cut in, a loud female's. If he was awake, he knew he would smirking. Carly had burst onto the scene, her voice raised and trying to defend Jason. Why would she be arguing with Sam? Shouldn't she be on Sam's side against the mysterious male's voice?

_What I fear and what I try  
The words I say and what I hide_

The voices faded to darkness as he fell back into an unconsciousness state.

"Carly, what the hell are you doing?"

The blonde looked up from bending over Jason, pretending to check his vitals. Sam was standing in the doorway with an incredulous look on her face. Carly smirked as she stood up straight and pulled the surgical mask down off her face.

"I'm here making sure Jason is okay."

"What part of banned from Jason's room don't you understand?"

Carly rolled her eyes as Sam strode over to her and got in her face. This brunette was really starting to piss her off. Thank God she was Jason's wife or she would kick her ass right now.

"I told you I would find a way into Jason's room."

Carly motioned at her nurse's outfit and Sam just folded her arms, standing in front of Jason.

"You're not welcome here."

"I'm Jason's best friend. He needs me."

"We already had this conversation. He needs to recuperate from his surgery and you being here isn't going to help. I don't care if you're his best friend, he's my husband and I'm speaking on his behalf. Get the fuck out."

Carly glared down at the woman in front of her. She pulled her hairnet off and threw it down on the floor. Arguing with this woman wasn't getting her anywhere.

"You don't know Jason like I do."

Sam shook her head and lunged out at Carly. Carly flung Sam back and she hit a table. The table was knocked to the floor, bringing attention to themselves. Security ran into the room and pulled apart the two women.

"Get the hell out of my way so I can rip her head off!"

The guard struggled holding Carly back as Sam calmed down and smoothed out her outfit. The guard pulled Carly out of the room while Sam nodded to the other guard and grinned at Carly.

"We're not done yet bitch."

"What is going on?"

Carly watched as Patrick walked up to her.

"I was just trying to make sure Jason is okay."

Patrick shook his head as he took in Carly's outfit. She noticed how distraught he was and mentally kicked herself for forgetting. Robin just died and here she was yelling at her husband. She had never gotten along with Robin, but the least she could do was be respectful towards Patrick.

"Rest assured, the murderer is going to live."

Patrick entered the hospital room with Carly right behind him.

"Are you stupid?"

Sam went to go at Carly again, but she saw the look in Patrick's eyes.

"Please, can the both of you shut the fuck up? I have to go tell my daughter her mother's dead and she's never coming back, and here you are arguing over a man who doesn't deserve to live."

Both women fell silent as they watched the devastated doctor check on his patient. The next time Patrick spoke, he was so quiet and menacing.

"Jason will wake up soon. In the meantime, I suggest the both of you leave so your precious Mob enforcer can live another day to kill more people."

Carly went to retort, but Patrick gave her a scowl. Her eyes fell to the floor as Sam went to comfort Patrick.

"Just don't. I don't need your condolences. I just need you to get out of here."

With that, both women left the doctor in the room. They gave each other a look as they walked down opposite ends of the hospital.

* * *

Elizabeth closed the front door behind her. She hung up her coat on a hook and sat down on the couch. She stared at the wall, tears threatening to fall. She heard steps on the stairs and turned around to see Lulu.

_All the pain, I want it to end  
But I want it again_

"I thought you were going over to Patrick's?"

Elizabeth shook her head and turned back around. Lulu sat down next to her.

"I was in  _her_  driveway, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't physically open the door and walk in  _her_ house. It didn't feel right."

_And it finds me  
The fight inside is coursing through my veins_

Lulu sighed as she wrapped an arm around Elizabeth's shoulders.

"I don't know what to say to make this better."

Elizabeth dryly smiled at Lulu.

"I don't think there's anything that could be said to make this better."

Lulu squeezed Elizabeth's shoulder and sighed.

"I'm sorry you're the one that had to call me."

Lulu shook her head as she watched the woman she considered a sister fall apart in front of her eyes.

_And it's raging  
The fight inside is breaking me again_

"Me too."

After an hour of crying, Elizabeth told Lulu she could go. Lulu wasn't sure, but Elizabeth insisted she just wanted to be alone.

The pain was unbearable. She had lost so much in the last five years. First Emily was murdered, then Jason left her for good, and Jake died less than a year ago. Nik left and so did Lucky. Now Robin's dead. Why did she have to be the one to lose everything? What had she done wrong to deserve this horrible fate? She was all alone in this world. She closed her eyes as she succumbed to the pain that would never ever leave her.

_It's still the same, pursuing pain  
Isn't worth the light I've gained_

The nightmare woke her back up. She sat up in a hurry, sweat on her face and panting. She wiped a hand across her face and checked her watch. She had fallen asleep for two hours. She tried to gather her bearings, but stopped when she saw Cameron sitting on the floor in front of her.

_We both know how this will end  
But I do it again_

"Mommy, are you okay?"

Elizabeth nodded her head, but she felt so far from okay. She motioned for Cameron to come over. He got up and sat in her lap. She closed her eyes as she held her eldest son in her arms.

"I just had a bad dream."

"I hate those."

Elizabeth let out a small laugh as she kissed her son.

"Do you know what the best part of them is?"

Elizabeth looked down at Cameron.

"What?"

"They're not real."

A single tear rolled down her cheek as she pulled her son closer to her, praying that somehow her and her boys would get through this nightmare that was very real.

_And it finds me  
The fight inside is coursing through my veins_

* * *

He felt the light creeping towards him, growing brighter by the second. He couldn't escape it, only embrace it. His eyes opened slightly, but then closed again at the pain of the lights.

_And it's raging  
The fight inside is hurting me again_

"Jason?"

He opened his eyes again, this time he felt a hand on top of his.

"Jason? Thank God you're awake!"

He saw his wife sitting next to him, rubbed her hand across his forehead.

"I thought you were never going to wake up. I was so scared that I would have to raise our child by myself."

Jason shook his head, not being able to speak yet.

"Let me go get Patrick."

Jason shook his head again.

"Jason, you need to listen to him."

Jason gave up as Sam left the room. Soon she came back with a reluctant Patrick behind her. Jason saw something different about Patrick. His posture was slightly closed and his usual confident self was quiet. It was disheartening to watch Patrick check him; he wasn't even talking to Jason.

"Well, he's stable and it seems the surgery was a success."

Jason touched Patrick's hand, wanting to thank him, but Patrick jumped back from his hand as if it burned him.

"We'll keep him here for another day to make sure he's okay, and then he should be able to go home."

"Thank you so much Patrick."

Jason caught the look exchanged between Patrick and Sam. Something was seriously wrong and he needed to know. Patrick didn't even acknowledge that he heard her as he left the room.

"Sam, what's going on?"

"Jason, I'm so glad you're okay."

Jason mentally rolled his eyes as she purposefully avoided his question. She kept avoiding it, and he was growing angrier by the minute. Finally he asked her to leave, that he was tired. She was shocked and hurt, and he could see it in her eyes. He felt bad because he was hurting her, but she was lying to him about something.

* * *

Patrick sat down in the chair, despair rolling in waves as he looked over at the door to his little girl's room.

"I don't know if I can do this without you. I don't think I can do this alone."

He looked into empty space, praying for an answer or a sign from his dead wife. It was almost as if she was right there helping him when he heard a quiet knock on the door.

"Come in."

He turned around, half expecting to see Robin standing in the doorway, but of course it wasn't.

Tears starting rolling down his face again as he watched his wife's best friend walk in and close the door behind her. He stood up to hug her, which she returned. She held onto him, feeling the exact same way he did, understanding everything that he was feeling. It felt good to be held by someone like this. She let go and stood in front of him, tears on her face as well.

_And it finds me  
The war within me pulls me under_

"I'm so sorry. Lulu called and told me, and I just don't... I can't believe this is all happening."

Patrick nodded his head as he fell back into his chair. Elizabeth set her purse down and sat down on the table across from him, hands in her lap.

He didn't know what to do or what to say, so he just said whatever was going through his mind at the moment.

"For a second there, when there was a knock on the door, I don't know, I thought maybe it was going to be robin. I guess this is all just a nightmare, you know?"

Elizabeth nodded in complete understanding as she held his hand in comfort, trying to give any possible strength she had left in her to him.

"I know. It doesn't make any sense."

Patrick let out a sigh and let go of her hand. He couldn't even say her name out loud anymore, it just hurt too much.

"She worked really hard on Jason's protocol. It worked."

He looked up at Elizabeth's surprised face. He frowned as he noticed that she looked relieved.

When she heard him say that Jason's name, it still sent a stab to her heart. It still hurt to think about him and what they shared together. Then when he said it worked, she oddly felt relieved. Even though she and Jason weren't close anymore, she was still glad that he was going to be okay. She had lost everyone close to her heart; she couldn't bear to lose another.

"The protocol worked?"

"Yeah, I just finished the procedure and it looks like Jason's going to pull through like he always does."

She saw the anger in his eyes towards Jason, and frankly she couldn't blame him. He must be feeling betrayal towards Jason because Robin died trying to save him. She couldn't help but feel happiness knowing Jason is alive.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, he's going to have a long happy life, but robin won't. Neither will Emma or I."

Elizabeth decided it was now or never that she told Patrick what Robin had made her promise.

"Patrick, when Robin thought her meds were failing her, she asked me to look after you and Emma. I promised her I would. I'm not going to break that promise."

Patrick looked surprised at first, but then dryly smiled as he thought of course Robin would make sure he was looked after, like he couldn't take care of Emma by himself. He knew he couldn't, she even knew him more than he knew himself before she died.

"I gotta go tell Emma. I can't physically get up."

Another tear rolled down his cheek as he thought about telling his daughter that her mother is never coming back. Elizabeth leaned forward to comfort one of her closest friends.

"You need to think about that little girl waiting for you and how much she needs you."

Patrick nodded his head as he drew a hand down his face.

"I know, I know."

He was about to get up and tell the inevitable to his daughter when said daughter came running out of her room and leapt into his arms. He looked over at Elizabeth, who was already breaking down.

"Is Mommy home?"

Patrick sighed and wiped away his tears as he held the only thing closest to Robin in his arms. He looked over at Elizabeth once again, but she had gotten up and moved to leave. She looked at him, but he barely shook his head, as if he needed her strength to tell his daughter.

Patrick got up and sat down on the couch so he could hold Emma properly in his lap.

"Come here. You are getting so big. I have to tell you something very important."

"Okay Daddy."

He pulled a strand of hair in her face behind her ear. He looked into his daughter's eyes and saw Robin staring back at him. He took another breath as he mentally prepared for the worst thing he's ever had to tell anyone.

"There was an accident at the hospital and Mommy got hurt."

He looked at Emma for her reaction, but she just looked confused.

"Does she need a band aid? She can have one of mine with the princesses."

Another wrackful sob tore through him and he had to look away from her daughter. His eyes fell on Elizabeth, begging for help. She conceded.

_And without you  
The fight inside is breaking me again_

Elizabeth sat down next to Patrick and faced Emma. Patrick slightly turned Emma so she was facing Elizabeth. Elizabeth took one of Emma's small hands in hers and gave it a squeeze. He watched as Elizabeth thought of what to say. He felt so pathetic that he couldn't even tell his daughter that her mother's dead, someone else has to do it for him.

"Hi sweet girl. Do you remember when Cameron got that fish for his birthday?"

Patrick looked down at his daughter as she quickly nodded his head and looked back at Elizabeth.

"Yes."

"Do you remember the one he named Tiger? Well one day Tiger didn't feel like swimming around his bowl anymore. He got kinda sick, so we had to take him to the doctor, but the doctor said we couldn't do anything for him, so we had to let Tiger go to heaven."

Elizabeth looked to Patrick to continue, knowing the hard part was over.

"And that's where Mommy is right now."

Emma looked at her dad, slightly understanding what he was saying. He pulled her closer and let his hand comb through her hair.

"When's she coming back?"

Patrick closed his eyes for a second, begging for the strength to finish this.

"Ah, um, baby, she's-she's not going to come back. She's up there with the angels. She's going to be protecting you for the rest of your life, watching over you. She's always, always gonna love you. No matter what, okay?"

"Okay."

Patrick sighed a breath of relief and heard the same from Elizabeth.

"I love you."

He kissed Emma on the forehead and pulled her in for a hug. He let out all that he was holding and cried into her hair. At some point, he felt Elizabeth squeeze his shoulder and he looked up to see her leaving. He mentally made a note to thank her later.

* * *

"Sam, please tell me what's going on? Every time I ask you, you just avoid the question like it's the Black Plague or something."

It had been a week and Jason was still in the hospital. Every time Patrick checked him, he would say he would need to stay for another night of observation. Jason knew he was feeling better and well enough to go home. He carefully watched as Sam sat down next to him, unusually silent.

He sighed in frustration and turned his head away from her, refusing to look at her. When someone knocked on his door, he was surprised and slightly relieved that Carly was standing in the doorway. She looked nervous, which was very out of character.

He went to say something, but Sam beat him to the punch.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

He looked at Sam in surprise at her animosity towards Carly. He knew that they rarely got alone, but Sam was very angry with Carly.

"I'm visiting my friend to make sure he's okay."

"Sam?"

She looked back at Jason anxiously. He looked to Carly, who was also as confused.

"What's going on Sam?"

Sam continued to stare at Jason.

"You haven't told him?"

"Shut up."

"Sam!"

He was getting really pissed off. He hated playing games. He watched as tears gathered in Carly's eyes as she walked to sit next to him.

"Carly, get the hell out!"

"Make me."

Jason looked at Carly, then at Sam.

"Security!"

"Jason, there's-"

"Carly, not now!"

"What's going on?"

Jason looked up to see Sonny standing in the doorway.

"I have no fucking idea."

Patrick and Monica entered the room after Sonny. Jason was completely confused.

"Monica, please tell Carly she has to leave."

"Monica, Jason needs to know what happened."

"What happened?"

Jason looked from one person to the next. Sam looked nervous, Sonny looked depressed, Patrick's stare was empty, Monica stared at him in pity, and Carly looked downright close to pieces.

"Is somebody hurt?"

* * *

Elizabeth got off the elevator, glad that she was back to work. Monica had called her this morning to tell her about Maxie's confession. She apologized to Elizabeth for the mistake and asked if Elizabeth could come back. Elizabeth understood and thanked Monica for offering her job back. She quickly dropped Cameron off at school and Aidan at daycare.

_It's nothing  
(It's everything)_

Elizabeth walked up to the nurse's station and checked the charts for the patient's that were in today. Her heart skipped a beat at seeing Jason's name on one of the charts. She then thought of Robin and how devastated he must feel right now. He has to be feeling the same way she was feeling. He had also lost Emily, Jake and now Robin.

_It's nothing  
(It's everything)_

She decided to go check on him and left to go find his room. Nearing his room, she heard shouting and stopped right outside the door.

_It's nothing  
(It's everything)_

"Is somebody hurt?"

That was Jason's voice, so he must be awake.

"Jason, it's about-"

"Carly, he can't know."

"Sam, what the fuck is going on?"

_It's nothing  
It's everything_

Elizabeth pictured Jason sitting in his bed, livid at his wife. The tone of his voice was so angry and frustrated.

"Jason, I can't tell you."

"Why not? I want to know. Stop lying to me."

"Jason…"

Elizabeth picked up on Sonny's voice.

_How many people are in there?_

"Sonny, I'm tired of these games."

"I know."

It was quiet, and Elizabeth held her breath. Jason didn't know about Robin's death.

"Can everyone stop staring at me and tell me what happened?"

"Jason, you are recovering-"

"Monica, please, spare me the sympathies."

Elizabeth was surprised at how cold Jason was to his mother.

"Patrick, what are they talking about? I'm well enough to hear anything right?"

Elizabeth shed a tear at how Patrick must feel. He was in this room where everyone was trying to hide the secret that his wife is dead.

"I can't do this."

Elizabeth watched as Patrick left the room, a hand on his face. She wanted to go after him, but she knew he needed to be alone.

"Jason, there was an accident."

There was Sam's voice again. Elizabeth waited for the next sentence.

"And?"

"Well, it was an explosion in the lab."

The entire room was silent.

"Was anyone hurt?"

"Jase-"

Another tear slid down Elizabeth's cheek as she heard the pain in Carly's voice, begging that Jason would figure out the secret without anyone having to say it.

"Wait, Robin was working on my protocol in there."

Another silent pause between the group.

"Robin…she's-she's okay right? She wasn't in there during the explosion?"

No one answered him.

_And it finds me  
The fight inside is coursing through my veins_

"Oh God, she's…she's..."

Elizabeth heard a crash.

"Jason, calm down."

Elizabeth heard another crash, someone had been pushed down.

"Jason!"

"Get off me Sonny!"

She heard a fist contact against skin. Jason must have punched Sonny.

_And it's raging  
The fight inside is hurting me again_

"Jason, calm down."

"HOW CAN I FUCKING CALM DOWN? ROBIN'S DEAD!"

There was another crash. Elizabeth wiped at her face and stepped into the doorway. The scene in front of her was frightening.

_And it finds me  
The war within me pulls me under_

Sam was on the floor crying. Sonny was in the corner holding his face. Carly and Monica were trying to hold back a raging Jason.

His whole world was falling apart and nothing could stop the pain he was feeling. He knew he had to keep calm, but he couldn't. Robin can't be dead. She just can't. He was vaguely aware of Carly and Monica's hands holding him down, but the state he was in, he wasn't sure. All he could see was red.

He looked to the doorway to see someone else had walked into the room, someone he had never expected, but glad that they did. He watched as Elizabeth took in the situation, and he oddly felt ashamed that she had to see him like this. He looked down to see his wife crying on the floor, the sight not making him feel any better.

He then looked to Elizabeth, who walked up to him and firmly placed her hands on either side of his face.

_And without you  
The fight inside is breaking me again_

"Jason, can you hear me?"

Jason slightly nodded. Elizabeth sadly smiled at the broken man she was holding. They looked into each other's eyes, not saying anything because there was nothing to be said. Everything they were feeling, the same feelings, were conveyed through their eyes. Finally, Jason broke down in Elizabeth's as she held his head to her chest as the Mob enforcer fought the sobs tearing through him. He gave up the fight inside him.

"Help me."

_It's breaking me, it's breaking me  
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart_


	3. Shadows

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or lyrics, just the storyline.** _

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_  


* * *

**Chapter 3**

_**Shadows** _

_Previously on Start Again…_

_Jason slightly nodded. Elizabeth sadly smiled at the broken man she was holding. They looked into each other's eyes, not saying anything because there was nothing to be said. Everything they were feeling, the same feelings, were conveyed through their eyes. Finally, Jason broke down in Elizabeth's as she held his head to her chest as the Mob enforcer fought the sobs tearing through him. He gave up the fight inside him._

" _Help me."_

"I know it hurts."

He couldn't stop the tears that were flowing from his eyes. He hated crying in front of people, it showed how weak he was when he was supposed to be an enforcer. He nodded his head as the mother of his dead child held him close to her.

"What happened?"

Elizabeth felt Jason pull away from her and she let him go. She took a step back while Carly and Sam swarmed him. She moved back to the doorway and watched the women baby Jason. That's not what he needed. He needed to be told the truth.

"You didn't have to do that."

Elizabeth looked over at Sonny who was now sporting a nice bruise on his lower jaw.

"It's my job. Plus Jason was my friend."

"Was?"

Elizabeth sighed as she walked out of the hospital room with Sonny right behind her.

"We don't really talk much anymore, not since-"

"Jake."

Elizabeth sullenly nodded as she walked into the nurse's station and looked through the charts.

"Well, I still appreciate what you did back there. It seemed like no one was going to calm him down."

"Jason doesn't like to be handled. He wants the truth, no matter what."

"You really did get him, didn't you?"

"I thought I did."

Sonny gave her a sympathetic look as he walked back to Jason's room. Elizabeth sighed as she went through her usual morning routine. By the time lunch came around, Jason's name had popped back up on the charts. She was hesitant to go visit him after this morning's mishap. She shoved the feeling aside and decided to be an adult.

She knocked on the door quietly, but no one answered. She knocked once more.

"Go away."

She dryly smiled. Jason must be alone right now and doesn't want any attention. Plus he's the worst patient in the world.

"It's Elizabeth."

She waited for a reply.

"Come in."

She opened the door to see Jason sitting up in his bed. She gave him a small smile as she looked through his chart.

"It seems you're stabilized and your vitals are good. It looks like you're on your way to a full recovery."

Jason silently nodded as he watched the woman he thought he could have had a life with walk around checking the machines.

"Dr. Drake should be back in ten minutes to give you a full report."

She was determined to not have a deep conversation with him right now, it was too soon and she knew she would cry. She hated crying in front of people, acting vulnerable because that's not who she is. She's feisty and independent.

"Elizabeth…"

She stopped at the doorway, closing her eyes and praying that he wouldn't mention-

"Thanks, for uh, earlier. I'm sorry you had to see that."

She slowly turned around and put a smile on her face. Looking at Jason, she knew how much he was hurting. All she wanted to do was comfort him, but that wasn't her right anymore. She had only done it this morning because everyone was in shock.

"It's my job to take of my patients."

"You know what I mean."

He gave her a small smile, which she gladly returned.

"How are you holding up?"

Even when he's the one hurting, he's always making sure she's okay. That's one of the many qualities she fell in love with.

"I'm fine."

"You're lying."

"Jason, I really don't want to get into this right now."

She watched as his face fell and felt horrible, but just thinking about talking to him about Robin made the pain feel unbearable.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I know when you're lying. Your face scrunches up and your lip quivers. And your eyes don't sparkle like they usually do."

"My eyes sparkle?"

Elizabeth smiled at the look on Jason's face.

"Oh well, I…"

"I'm not fine, but I am doing better."

He gave her a warm smile.

"I'm glad that you're okay."

Jason carefully watched her as she walked out of the room. He sighed, knowing that's not how he wanted it to go. Now she's probably going to assign another nurse to his room. He settled back onto the bed and closed his eyes. Not even two minutes later, his wife pops back in.

He tries to fake being asleep, but he can hear her sniffling. He cracks an eye open to see Sam dabbing at her eyes.

_Sunset, I close my eyes  
I pretend everything's alright_

"Sam?"

"Oh, Jason, you're awake. Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

_Drowning in anger from all these lies  
I can't pretend everything's alright_

"Sam."

He looks at her, slightly frustrated that she's not answering his question.

"I went to see Dr. Kelly."

_Please don't let me fall forever  
Can you tell me it's over?_

He grew nervous as he tried to remember what happened earlier that morning.

" _Can everyone stop staring at me and tell me what happened?"_

_Jason looked from person to person. Finally, Monica stepped towards him._

" _Jason, you are recovering-"_

_God, he hated when people treated him like he was a baby. He hated being told what to do. The deeply buried anger he used to harbor for his parents lashed out._

" _Monica, please, spare me the sympathies."_

_The hand Monica had outstretched towards him quickly retracted as if he had burned her. Technically he had with his words. He felt bad for the way he sounded, but it's the way he felt._

_Monica stepped back with a hand over her mouth. Jason sighed as he looked to the distraught Patrick in the corner. He had never seen the arrogant doctor like this before. It was very discomforting._

" _Patrick, what are they talking about? I'm well enough to hear anything right?"_

_Jason watched as Patrick stared at him. Jason took a gulp as the eyes staring back at him were dead and they weren't shining. There was nothing. Nothing._

" _I can't do this."_

_Patrick walked out of the room with a hand over his face. Jason shook his head, the pit in his stomach growing bigger and bigger each second that was wasted that no on was saying anything._

_Sam took his hand in hers and he looked at her. There were tears in her eyes._

" _Jason, there was an accident."_

_She took a breath before continuing._

" _And?"_

" _Well, it was an explosion in the lab."_

_Jason pulled his hand away from Sam's as his head processed what was happening. His hands came up to his head, trying to block out the pain that was inevitable._

" _Was anyone hurt?"_

_He heard another sob as Carly brushed a hand through his hair._

" _Jase-"_

_He opened his eyes and looked to Carly for the answer._

" _Wait, Robin was working on my protocol in there."_

_Carly shook her head and took a step back from him. That was all he needed._

" _Robin…she's-she's okay right? She wasn't in there during the explosion?"_

_Again, the silence was deafening._

" _Oh God, she's…she's..."_

_Robin died. Robin is dead and she's never coming back._

" _Jason, calm down."_

_His vision flickered a few times until it went black. He felt a hand on his shoulder, but he pushed it away. He heard someone fall down._

" _Jason!"_

_There was another hand on his forearm, forcefully pushing back to his bed as he thrashed around in visible pain._

" _Get off me Sonny!"_

_He lashed out at the person holding him down and felt his knuckles come into contact with bone. Instantly, he felt pain in his hand._

" _Jason, calm down!"_

_The anger and pain that had been slowly building up inside him, strong enough to kill him, exploded and he couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop the wrath inside himself._

" _HOW CAN I FUCKING CALM DOWN? ROBIN'S DEAD!"_

_He still couldn't see, but there was this light in front of him. It wasn't bright at first, but every time he tried to push someone away, it would grow brighter. Finally the light grew into a figure, some sort of person. It changed shapes into a woman. She was petite, with flawless pale skin and luscious locks of brown hair. Her eyes were the perfect size, and the color was alluring. They looked soft enough to kiss. The figure's eyes opened. They were a light blue, similar to his own. They sparkled in the light. Her eyebrows shot up in a questioningly look, making him smile._

_Elizabeth_

_She looked like an angel. She was saying something, but he couldn't quite hear her. He watched her beautiful lips form three words._

_Open your eyes._

_He listened to her and there she was, standing in front of him amidst the chaos. The horrified look on her face quickly went away once she saw that he had opened his eyes and was looking at her. She quickly walked over to him and placed her soft hands on his face. They were cool to the touch, instantly soothing._

" _Jason, can you hear me?"_

_He nodded, not wanting to speak because he was afraid of what he might say. She gave him a small smile as she watched him slowly calm down and a tear slid down her cheek. He wanted to wipe it away. He wanted to take the pain away from her. He wanted to just be with her. Jason finally broke in her arms._

" _Help me."_

Jason shook his head of the vision or memory or whatever the hell that was. He shouldn't feel that way about Elizabeth, not anymore. Somehow, every time he thought of her, there was some noise in the back of his head, like radio static. He couldn't focus on it long enough before someone or something else distracted him.

* * *

Elizabeth grabbed her coat from the locker and headed downstairs to check on Cameron and Aidan. They were still playing and she decided to check on Patrick and Emma, figuring she could make them dinner, then come back and pick up her boys.

_There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master  
I tried to save you, but I can't find the answer_

She quietly opened the door to Emma's bedroom and smiled at the scene before her. Patrick was sitting on a pink wooden chair far too small for him with a tiara on his head. Emma was serving tea in plastic cups to all of her stuffed animals, Patrick included. Patrick looked up at her and she waved. He nodded and went to get up. She quickly shook her head and told him to stay. He nodded and she closed the door behind her.

Elizabeth wiped away a tear as someone knocked on the front door. She opened it to find Matt with a slightly lost look on his face. She watched him with concern as he swayed.

"I thought um... hi."

She gave him a reassuring smile as he smiled back, but it didn't reach his eyes. She looked into his eyes and all she saw was pain.

"Hi."

Matt took a shaky breath.

"Patrick's here, yeah?"

Inside, Matt was slowly breaking apart and he didn't know what he was doing. He had loved Robin like a sister, well technically she was, but he didn't know how to deal with his pain of losing her. So he thought he would stop by and visit his brother, knowing that they could through this together.

"Yeah. Come in, come in. He's in the room with Emma."

He nodded as he walked past Elizabeth and towards the sofa. He took off his jacket and sat it down on the couch. He ran a nervous hand through his ruffled jet black hair. Elizabeth was carefully watching him as if he would break down at any second.

She probably thought he was crazy, he certainly thought so.

"How's he doing? I mean obviously he's doing well-"

"He's holding up. He's being awfully strong for Emma."

"So he told her?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

He couldn't say anything else.

"You would have been really proud of your brother."

Matt looked up at Elizabeth in puzzlement. He could tell she was fighting off the tears threatening to fall, and he wanted to comfort her. He took another step towards her.

"You were with him?"

She slightly smiled as she looked up at him.

"We tried to explain that Mommy went to heaven and not that she knows what that is, but I think she's starting to understand that Robin's not coming back."

Matt smiled at Elizabeth, feeling better that she was there for his brother. She was a very supportive woman, something he found so attractive about her.

"Yeah, I'm glad you were with him. You know, because I don't know what I would have done..."

Matt's head dropped back down, he was trying so hard not to break down. He felt her hand on his forearm and looked to Elizabeth. She was smiling, despite the pain that was currently taking residence in the Drake household. He smiled back as her hand took hold of his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

_I'm holding onto you, I'll never let go  
I need you with me as I enter the shadows_

"You would have been fine."

"I don't even know what I'm doing here right now."

He let go of her hand and wiped away the tears in his eyes.

"You're showing up."

Elizabeth moved closer to the younger doctor, trying to comfort one of the men fighting for her affection.

"Yeah, well doesn't feel like enough."

Elizabeth dryly smiled up at him as he bleakly looked back at her.

"Sometimes that's all we can do."

He nodded and took hold of her hand, leading her to the couch. He sat down, and she sat down next to him. Their knees were barely touching. Matt stared out in front of him as Elizabeth watched him with concern. Finally a tear slid down his cheek as she pulled him into a hug.

* * *

"What was that about this morning?"

Jason inwardly groaned as Carly showed up in his doorway. Sam had left to take a nap at their penthouse after he told her to get some rest. She had told him about how she fell after Sonny bumped into her to get to Jason. She had reassured him that it wasn't anyone's fault, she was just clumsy. Dr. Kelly said the baby was fine, but the look in Sam's eyes said she wasn't telling the whole truth. Jason had let her go, not wanting to tell with anymore stress.

"What was what about Carly?"

"You and Nurse Webber."

_Here we go again._

"Nothing. She was just doing her job."

"Uh huh."

She gave him a look and he just rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious Carly. Nothing is going on. I have a wife and a baby on the way. Me and Elizabeth parted ways three years ago."

"Yeah, but you two have a history. Is it really the smartest idea for her to be your nurse? Your wife is the most jealous bi-"

"You better not finish that sentence."

Carly grinned as she sat down next to him.

"Well, I'm just warning you. If Sam sees you with Elizabeth, she's going to get suspicious, no matter how many times you say that there isn't anything going on."

"Thanks for the warning, but it's unnecessary."

"Whatever, it's your life."

"Right my life."

Carly snorted and got up.

"I shouldn't be here. I was actually banned from your room by your wife."

"What?"

"Yeah, she believed that I would hurt you. As if…"

Jason shook his head.

"Yeah, well, I'm not really Sam's biggest fan at the moment."

"What's wrong? Something happen with you and the Missus?"

Carly leaned against the doorway, determined to hear an answer.

"I'm just ticked off that Sam lied to me about Robin. Was she even going to tell me or was she going to have someone else do it for her?"

"I have no idea was goes on up in that twisted head of hers."

Jason shot her a look.

"Fine, fine. I'll go. I was just checking in on you, making sure you were okay about Robin and everything."

"How's Patrick?"

Jason was genuinely concerned about the doctor. Granted they never got along because Jason and Robin had been great lovers, but he wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

"I'm not sure. I haven't seen him since this morning. He's probably a wreck."

Jason nodded his head in agreement.

"Well, if you see him, can you tell him I want to talk to him?"

"Jason, I'm not sure if that's the best-"

"Please Carly? For me? Your best friend."

"Ugh, fine, but you owe me."

"Fine."

"Bye Jase."

* * *

He felt Elizabeth pull away from him. They haven't been this close since the almost kiss on the boat and looked how that turned out. They could both feel the sexual tension, but both were too hurt to act on it.

_Caught in the darkness, I go blind  
But can you help me find my way out?_

"So this isn't about me."

Matt shook his head. Elizabeth never made it about her; she was always making sure everyone else was okay first.

"You are grieving too."

Matt nodded his head again and swallowed the pain in his throat. Elizabeth got up and looked at the bills on the table, her back to him.

"Yeah, well I'm going to miss Robin everyday, but what I'm feeling doesn't even come close to Patrick and Emma. God Mac and Maxie! Have you even spoken to her?"

Even though she wasn't facing him, Matt could tell that she was trying to hold back the sobs. He got up and touched her arm.

"Not yet."

Elizabeth whirled around to face Matt.

"Well you should. She's going to need you."

Matt gave her a dumbfounded look.

"How can you even care about what Maxie needs right now?"

Another thing that made Elizabeth so alluring to Matt. She was selfless. God, what he wouldn't give to make her see how beautiful, kind, smart, and sexy she really is. She just doesn't see herself that way. She sees herself as a mother of two, friend to many and nurse to all.

"She and Robin were like sisters."

He took another step closer and risked brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Elizabeth eyebrows shot up in surprise to his forwardness, but then she realized that he needed the closeness of someone to get through this pain and she knew it couldn't be her. As much as she wanted it to be, he was still attached to Maxie and when he was sure he wasn't with Maxie anymore, then he could come to her.

"Im gonna find Maxie, okay? I'm gonna talk to her, but right now I wanna see my brother-"

Matt moved away from Elizabeth to see how Patrick was doing, but Elizabeth reached out for his wrist.

"Wait, wait, wait. No Matt, please. Just right now Patrick needs to be with Emma. Come back later. You need to go find Maxie."

Matt sighed, knowing he couldn't argue with the woman. He gave her a hug, wanting to make it last longer than it did. He felt her lips on his neck, leaving a lingering kiss and he smiled as he walked out.

_Nobody hears me, I suffer the silence  
Can you tell me it's over now?_

* * *

"How's the baby?"

Jason watched Sam carefully, noticing that she wasn't looking him in the eyes. That meant that she was hiding something. Jason sighed in frustration. He was getting tired of Sam lying to him, no matter if it helped protect him or not. He didn't care anymore. It all hurts the same.

"Our baby is doing fine. I'm more worried about you."

There she goes again. Deflecting his questions so she can worry about him. She shouldn't be worrying about him; it wasn't good for the baby.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what Jason?"

"Every time I ask you about the baby you always ask about me instead? I'm going to be fine. In fact, knowing that our baby is going to be fine is going to make me fine. Why is always an uphill battle with you?"

_There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master  
I tried to save you, but I can't find the answer_

"Excuse me for caring about my husband. I didn't know that's what I wasn't supposed to do that."

Sam stood up in annoyance.

"Sam, that's not what I meant and you know it. I'm just tired of being treated like a child. Why didn't you tell me about Robin?"

"Because if I told you, it could have killed you."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is. That's what Monica said. Jason, before you surgery, you were having blackouts without anything triggering them. What if I had told you about Robin? What if you had blacked out and never woke back up? I'm not taking that chance. I'm sorry if I hurt you by lying, but I'm not sorry I did it. You're the most important person in my life."

"Not even the baby is more important?"

Sam didn't answer his question so he knew her answer.

"I understand why you did it, I'm just mad that you lied."

"I'm sorry if you feel that way."

Sam walked out angry and just left Jason feeling guiltier for the way he was treating her. Something was changing inside him, something that had been stirring ever since he woke up from his surgery. He noticed it when he first saw Sam. He didn't get the butterflies in his stomach anymore. Her face didn't light up every time she saw him like it used to. Something had changed between them. Something that couldn't be reversed.

* * *

"Okay, so there was a minor snag with the flowers, but I was able to work it out. Where did everybody go?"

Elizabeth looked up from her laptop and pictures of Robin to see that Matt had come back.

"Anna went with Patrick to find Emma something to wear for the service."

Matt nodded as Elizabeth went back to the pictures, trying to sort them, but she was unsuccessful.

"Oh, well everyone really appreciates you helping out."

Elizabeth smiled, knowing that Matt couldn't see it. It meant the world to her to hear someone say that because she had no idea how good of a job she was doing. It was breaking her heart that she had to organize another funeral for one of her closest friends. It just didn't seem fair.

"There are so many pictures. It's so hard to choose. I'm trying to do this in chronological order, starting when Robin was little."

Matt stood next to Elizabeth and leaned closer to her to look at the picture in her hand. He chuckled as he took the picture out of her hand and sat down on the edge of the table.

"That'll be nice. Wow, okay, Robin and Maxie are so young in this one. Maxie's gotta be like six or something?"

Elizabeth got up and stood next to him to get a closer look.

"Let me see. It's hard to be mad at Maxie when this whole thing is going on."

The light atmosphere had evaporated instantly as they both thought horrific situation they were facing. Elizabeth carefully watched Matt as he looked at the picture in his hand.

"Yeah, she's taking this thing really hard. Actually I've never seen her act like this before."

* * *

"I'm going to go home."

"You sure?"

The tension between Jason and Sam was so thick. Their earlier conversation had brought up massive walls between the two of them, and Jason was sure he wasn't ready to break them down.

"Yeah, I'm going to get some rest."

Jason watched as Sam held her hands around her stomach and then she flinched.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just, the baby kicked I think."

Sam shyly smiled as she brought Jason's hands up to her stomach. Jason slightly frowned.

"I don't feel anything."

He looked up at Sam to see she was very nervous. He decided to let it go, so much had happened today already.

"Oh, well, maybe later then. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

No I love you's, no I hope you feel better's. No nothing. Jason watched as she closed the door behind her.

_This isn't working._

* * *

"You should go check on Maxie."

Matt looked over at Elizabeth with alarm.

"Oh, no. She made it abundantly clear she doesn't want me around right now."

Elizabeth slightly frowned, knowing how hard Maxie must be taking it. She sighed as she looked at Matt, knowing that he wanted to do something for her, but she wouldn't let him.

_I'm holding onto you, I'll never let go  
I need you with me as I enter the shadows_

"Everyone deals with loss in their own way. Sometimes in the beginning you don't want anyone around and sometimes you can't imagine the day when it will hurt a little less because that means you're letting go."

He watched as her eyes teared up for what felt like the millionth time that day. He took one of her eyes and gave her a reassuring smile. He knew she was referring to Jake.

"Yeah, Maxie used to talk about how Robin was an inspiration. She felt like Robin could triumph over anything, but this accident is going to take a piece of Maxie too."

He looked down at their linked hands, reveling in the fact that she hadn't pulled away.

"Our lives will never be the same without Robin."

Matt sullenly nodded as they both came to the same grim conclusion.

"I heard that you got your job back."

Elizabeth smiled as she dabbed at her eyes and went to sit down on the couch.

"Yeah, Monica had called me and apologized. Did you have anything to do with that?"

Matt deviously smiled, but then held up his hands in innocence.

"I didn't, but Maxie did."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I made her call Monica and recant her story about you stealing drugs."

"Why? Matt, I did steal those drugs."

Matt just shrugged his shoulders and grinned. With that wolfishly handsome grin of his, Elizabeth couldn't stay mad at him for long.

"I saw Jason today."

"How's he doing? I heard Patrick was his surgeon."

"Oh, the surgery went fine. Afterwards, well not so much. Sonny, Carly, Monica and Sam were all the room when he was told about Robin."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, but that's not even the worst part. He just went on this rampage, he even punched Sonny. No one could calm him down. It was like something in him just snapped. Finally, I calmed him down enough for him to fall asleep."

"You were in there too?"

"I heard the yelling outside in the hallway and went to investigate."

Matt silently nodded as he thought about Elizabeth's romantic past. He knew about her and Jason, knowing how much they had went through. He knew he could never come close to the connection they shared, actually no one could ever come close to it, it was that strong and clear.

"I'm glad you were able to calm him down."

"Yeah, me too."

"Well, I'm going back to the hospital if you want me to give you a ride. I have a consultation to do."

"Okay, yeah, thanks. I think I've done everything I can for this slideshow. Do you wanna watch it with me?"

Matt nervously smiled at Elizabeth as she got up and sat down in front of the laptop.

"And start bawling my eyes out before I have to go back to work?"

"At least we'll be crying together."

* * *

Elizabeth was making her final rounds before heading home. The last stop was the one she had been putting off the whole evening.

She gently knocked on the door, praying that he was asleep. She opened to see him staring up at the ceiling with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Jason?"

"Yeah?"

He looked over at her and was surprised to see her standing in front of him.

"Sorry, I was just-"

"No need to apologize. It's not my business, but looking up at the ceiling and trying to picture things helps clear your mind."

Jason confusedly looked at her.

"Where did you hear that from?"

"Nothing. How are you doing?"

"Better. Haven't had any headaches."

"Well, that's a good sign. Unfortunately you're going to have to stay for a few more days."

Jason groaned at the thought of staying in this godforsaken building.

"I know how much you hate hospitals, so I thought I bring you this."

She pulled what she had from behind her back and watched as he slowly smiled.

"A guidebook to Italy?"

"Yeah, you were always reading those and I knew you always wanted to go to Italy."

"So did you."

"Yeah, maybe someday."

She handed it to him and noticed him wince in pain.

"Jason, what's wrong with your hand?"

"It's nothing."

"I think I know you better than that. I have treated you twice for gunshot wounds. Let me see your hand."

She sat down on the bed beside him and gently held his hand with her fingers, softly pressing into his skin. Once she reached his knuckles, she felt him wince and noticed that the knuckles were bruised.

"I think you've broken your hand. You're going to have to get it looked at."

"Okay."

Elizabeth looked at him in surprise. He had never agreed with her when it came to his well being.

"Okay?"

"Okay. I trust you and your judgment. If you say I have to get it looked at, then I'll get it looked at."

Elizabeth sweetly smiled.

"Where is Jason Morgan and what have you done with him?"

Jason grimly smiled.

"With Robin's death I feel like I've been taken people for granted and I'm tired of losing the ones I love."

He looked down to see that she was still holding her hand.

"I feel the same."

"Why did it have to be her? She was such a good person."

Elizabeth sighed, knowing that she had been asking herself the same question countless times.

"I don't know why Robin died. I don't know why the good people are always taken away. I have no idea."

Jason nodded and held her hand in his firmly.

"I'm sorry about Jake."

He watched as she teared up about their dead son.

"It's going to be a year soon."

_There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master  
I tried to save you, but I can't find the answer_

Another tear fell down her cheek and he leaned in to wipe it away.

"Jason, I don't know how I'm going to get through this. Every day is a struggle and every night I see him in my dreams. Seeing my baby get hurt and not being able to do anything about it. I trying to fight off this darkness, these shadows, but I don't know what I'm going to do anymore. I'm tired of putting on a mask for everybody."

"I know, but you're going to be strong for your sons because that's just who you are Elizabeth. You're the strongest person I know. I don't have the answers for all your questions, but I'll be here to help you find them, no matter what."

_I'm holding onto you, I'll never let go  
I need you with me as I enter the shadows_


	4. Breathe Into Me

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or lyrics, just the storyline.** _

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_  


* * *

**Chapter 4**

_**Breath Into Me** _

"I should go."

"Why?"

"I have to go help out with Robin's funeral."

He looked into her beautiful blue eyes and watched as she got up from her bed to leave.

"I wish I could go."

"I know."

She gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing that his presence at his best friend's funeral would make Patrick's situation even worse.

"How am I doing?"

Elizabeth turned back to look at the man she once loved, broken and beside himself.

"What do you mean?"

"I just found out my best friend is dead. My wife is hiding something from me. And it's the anniversary of our son's death."

"I'd say you're doing as well as anyone can expect you to in these circumstances."

Jason nodded his head as he watched Elizabeth leave his room. Elizabeth closed the door and leaned against it, knowing how much strength it took to face him. She took the elevator downstairs and picked up her boys, hoping for a good nights sleep after knowing what the next day would be.

Elizabeth woke up and went through the motions of the morning. Taking a shower. Getting dressed. Waking up her sons. Making them breakfast. It was like an ordinary morning in the Webber household, but it was far from ordinary. Today was the day Elizabeth would say goodbye to one of her closest friends.

She knocked on the Drake's door to find Matt behind it. She gave him a friendly hug as he closed the door behind her.

"How did it go last night?"

He helped her out of her black jacket.

"Well, Emma didn't get much sleep."

"Was she asking for Robin?"

"Yeah."

Elizabeth gave him a small smile as she turned around to see a pajama clad Emma run out from her room with her two koalas.

Elizabeth was surprised at first to see how friendly Emma has been to her, but then realized that Emma doesn't really have a female figure in her life anymore, well besides Anna, and now Elizabeth is starting to fill in that role.

"Hi baby girl. Did you have breakfast this morning?"

Emma nodded her head as she sat down next to Elizabeth on the couch.

"We made chocolate chip pancakes."

"Mommy's favorite."

Elizabeth smiled as she held the little girl in her arms.

"Cameron's too. Hey I heard your grandmother bought the most beautiful dress. Do you wanna go put it on for me?"

Emma slowly shook her head no.

"Why not?"

"I don't wanna say goodbye to Mommy."

Elizabeth could already feel the tears coming on, but she had to stay strong in front of Emma and Matt.

"I know baby. None of us do."

"Do you remember when your Daddy and I talked about heaven?"

Matt watched as his niece nodded her head.

"Daddy said Mommy's there."

"That's right she is. She has to stay there because she has a very very important job to do. Do you know what a guardian angel is?"

"It means Mommy is going to be watching over you and Daddy and making sure that you're both happy."

"Mommy can see me?"

Elizabeth smiled at the little girl's surprised tone.

"Yeah."

"Yeah you bet. You think she's going to miss that dance recital you have coming up? No way! She's going to have the best seat, in heaven watching you do all those pirouettes. Those things you showed me. How did that go? It was kinda like...wait...like this?"

Elizabeth and Emma laughed on the couch as Matt tried to imitate a ballerina.

"Oh no, he's not going to do it, is he?"

Matt was happy at the fact that he was getting the two of them to laugh, there wasn't much of that happening around here.

"That was good right?"

"So Emma, before Momma can start her new job we need to say goodbye and wish her luck. That's why were going to the church today, okay?"

"Okay"

"Okay. Go put your koalas away and start getting dressed and I'll be there in a minute, okay?"

Emma nodded her head as she took off for her room. Elizabeth smiled as she stood up to face Matt.

"That's a nice touch, the pirouette."

"Yeah."

"At least it made her smile."

"Yeah, under her instructions. I just wish it was easy to get my brother to smile."

Elizabeth touched his forearm in comfort as she watched the younger Drake brother battle his pain for his hurting brother.

* * *

Jason silently watched as his wife walked into his room.

_And this is how it feels when I ignore the words you spoke to me  
And this is where I lose myself when I keep running away from you_

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why aren't you at Robin's funeral?"

Sam gave him a puzzling look as she sat down on his bed.

_And this is who I am when, when I don't know myself anymore  
And this is what I choose when it's all left up to me_

"Because you're stuck in the hospital until Patrick can sign your release."

"Well, Patrick's go enough on his mind right now and it's certainly not me."

"Okay, so you wait a few more days in the hospital. It couldn't hurt."

_Obviously you don't know me well enough to know that I hate hospitals._

Jason couldn't help that the thought crossed his mind, but he had enough self control not to say it out loud.

"I want you to go."

"Jason, I wasn't really friends with Ro-"

"Sam, can you please just do this for me? I can't be there, and if you're there, at least I know one of us is doing something productive."

Sam knew she wasn't going to win this battle as she huffed off in annoyance. Jason sighed as he went back to his gun magazine, knowing that probably wasn't the best way to have handled their situation.

* * *

"Emma's almost ready. She got distracted by her toys and I'm letting her play because she's going to be sitting long enough."

Elizabeth sat back down next to Matt on the couch.

"You know what; we should probably get going because were supposed to be meeting everyone there, right?"

_Breathe your life into me  
I can feel you_

Elizabeth sighed as she tried to think of everyone that was attending Robin's funeral.

"Have you spoken with Maxie?"

"Not since the hospital."

_I'm falling, falling faster  
Breathe your life into me_

Matt tried to look away from Elizabeth so she wouldn't have to see his pain, but knowing Elizabeth, she was there to comfort him. She placed a delicate hand on his knee to make him face her.

_I still need you  
I'm falling, falling_

"Matt, I didn't mean to make her upset. I just wanted her to know how much Robin loved her."

_Breathe into me  
Breathe into me_

Matt shook his head. He couldn't believe Elizabeth thought she was to blame for Maxie's state.

"It wasn't you, she's devastated. There's nothing anybody can say to her right now."

"Yeah, after Jake died everyone was so well-meaning and trying to find the right words and...really it just reminded..."

Matt watched as Elizabeth looked away from him. He was surprised that she brought up Jake. She usually didn't in front of him.

"How long has it been?"

He watched as she dabbed at her moist eyes.

"A year. A whole year tomorrow."

"Wow."

"So much has changed. You know Lucky's left town, Jason's having a new baby...I miss Jake everyday and now Robin's gone?"

"Which is exactly why we have to focus on all the good Robin did."

"Yeah she saved Jason's life."

"Yeah, how's he doing?"

"He's expected to make a full recovery. He's not coming to Robin's funeral."

"So it's probably best he's not going...because this day is going to be hard enough on Patrick as it is."

* * *

Jason looked down from his magazine to see a depressed Sonny standing in his doorway. Jason put his magazine down and started to think of how he was going to apologize.

"Look, I'm so-"

Sonny shook his head and waved his hand. Jason watched as the usually strong Sonny struggled to get to his chair beside Jason.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm on my way to Robin's funeral."

The way he struggled to say her name made Jason feel like shit. It was his fault she was dead.

_And this is how it looks when I am standing on the edge  
And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground_

"I wish I could be there."

"So do I."

"I miss her already."

"Me too. This is going to be a tough day for everyone."

"So, uh, when can you leave?"

"Just waiting on Patrick to sign my release."

"And he's not here because he's at-"

"Robin's funeral so I'm going to be stuck here for awhile."

Sonny nodded his head. They sat in silence for about a minute. There was nothing to be said between the old friends.

"You better go."

"Yeah."

Jason watched as Sonny stood up to leave.

"Do you think you could say something to her for me? You know tell her I'll be there as soon as I can?"

Sonny slowly turned around and Jason watched as the tears were flowing down the proud Cuban's face.

_And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain  
And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away_

"Yeah, I can do that."

"I appreciate it."

"I'll come by after it's over."

"Alright, take care."

"You too."

* * *

"Daddy!"

Matt and Elizabeth looked up from Emma's drawing to see Patrick walk into the room. They watched as he struggled to pick up his daughter.

"Hi sweetheart. Oh my gosh you look beautiful!"

Patrick sat down on the chair as he held his daughter in his lap.

"Are we going to say goodbye to Mommy now?"

Patrick took a heavy breath and looked back down to his beautiful daughter to see Robin staring back at him.

"Yeah, we gonna go say goodbye to Mommy. Give me a hug."

Elizabeth stood up to see that Patrick was barely holding it together in front of his daughter.

"C'mon little miss, lets go put your shoes on."

Patrick watched as everyone filed into the church and took their seats. He held his daughter close to him and with his other hand held Elizabeth's hand. He could feel his brother's strong hand on his shoulder. He watched as the minister began the service.

He stared at the casket. He couldn't believe his wife was in there. He looked back up at the minister to listen to his words, but it felt like he was far away and every sound was muffled.

He watched as Mac stood up to say his piece about Robin. Every sentence brought Patrick to tears as he watched the police commissioner struggle. He watched as Elizabeth stood up to talk about her best friend.

"Robin was a good friend. She was the best mommy I ever knew. She was so full of compassion and she was fair. She always wanted to be fair."

Elizabeth smiled at Emma as she continued.

"It didn't mean she was perfect. We all know how stubborn she could be, but she was stubborn for a reason."

She looked to Patrick to see his reaction, but he showed none. She took another breath as she continued.

"She fought hard for what she believed in and she fought hard for the people she loved."

Elizabeth looked to the picture of Robin on the TV screen.

"A few months ago, when she thought she might not be here for Emma, she asked if I would step in for her. Well I knew then what I know now...Robin is irreplaceable."

She took another breath, said a silent prayer for Robin, and slowly walked back to her seat next to Emma. She felt a soft hand on her shoulder, and she turned around to see Lulu quietly crying and Matt offering one of his grins, but it wasn't full of laughter and hope that it usually contained.

The funeral draws to a close. Everyone says their goodbyes as Robin's casket is carried off to be cremated. Patrick is the last on in the church. Elizabeth turned around to see that he was still kneeling in front of the altar. She looks down at Emma, who was holding her hand.

"Why don't you wait outside with your Uncle Matt while I get your Daddy?"

Emma nodded her head and grabbed her uncle's outstretched. Matt looked at Elizabeth to see if she needed help, but she shook her head.

She walked up the aisle and kneeled down beside Patrick. She didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. She understood the loss of a child, but she never had to experience the loss of a spouse.

They stayed that way for an hour until Patrick finally moved a hand to his face to wipe away and stood up. He helped Elizabeth up and took her hand as they walked out of the church together.

They stood by as Robin's headstone was put into the ground, hand in hand.

* * *

A week had passed. Some could say things changed. The hospital was much quieter. The staff moved a bit slower than usual. There were hardly any smiles. Robin's death took a toll on everyone because she was friendly with all of her coworkers.

Patrick had returned to work just to sign Jason's release. He then resigned and decided to stay at home to help raise Emma.

The first stop Jason made was the cemetery. He silently walked between the graves, searching for her headstone. He had told Sam he had to do this alone. She had argued, but he had won the battle yet again. It seemed that all they did was fight anymore.

He stopped when he finally reached her headstone. He didn't want to believe she was dead, that she was gone forever.

He stood in silence for ten minutes, working up the courage to talk.

"I know I'm a week late, I'm sorry."

He wiped away at the tears on his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Robin. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I'm sorry Emma has to grow up without her mother. I'm sorry Patrick has to go through this unbearable pain. I'm sorry…so sorry about everything. I'm just sorry I wasn't there."

Jason fell to his knees in pain. He looked at the writing on her headstone.

_Here lies Robin Scorpio Drake  
_ _Beloved Mother, Daughter, and Friend_

He kept staring at her name, words escaping him. He was so lost in his pain that he hadn't noticed someone walk up behind him. He turned his head in surprise, but the way they kept meeting, it shouldn't be a surprise anymore. She was always there when he needed her the most.

_Breathe your life into me  
I can feel you_

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I just meant to drop these off."

She motioned to the sunflowers in her hand.

_I'm falling, falling faster  
Breathe your life into me_

"Sunflowers?"

Elizabeth smiled as Jason stood up and wiped at his face.

"Yeah, Robin always reminded me of the sun. She was always so warm and radiant."

"That was Robin."

He turned to face her, tears already in her eyes.

_I still need you  
I'm falling, falling_

"I heard about the service and what you said."

_Breathe into me  
Breathe into me_

"Yeah, it felt like déjà vu all over again. It's been almost five years since Emily's death, yet I can still remember exactly what I said at her service like it was yesterday. Everything was the same, well…almost everything."

_Breathe into me  
Breathe into me_

"What do you mean?"

_Breathe your life into me  
I can feel you_

She looked away and didn't continue until he took one of her small hands in his. She looked at him in alarm, and then saw the calming look he gave her.

_I'm falling, falling faster  
Breathe your life into me_

"You weren't there."

A single tear fell down his face.

_I still need you_  
I'm falling, falling  
Breathe into me

"I would have given anything to be there, but it didn't seem right."

"It wasn't, but that doesn't mean I was hoping that you be at the back of the church, giving me the strength to continue."

_Breathe your life into me!  
I'm falling, falling faster_

Jason nodded as he let go of her hand and looked back at the headstone.

"It all feels like a dream."

_Breathe your life into me!  
falling, falling, falling_

"More like a nightmare."

Elizabeth nodded at his statement, knowing that life at the moment was basically a nightmare.

"How's Emma?"

"I don't think she really understands that her mommy isn't coming back. She's been sleeping over at my house a couple times this week to give Patrick some time alone. On the bright side she gets along with Cameron."

"That's good. She's going to need good friends in the future and I don't think anyone would be better than Cameron."

"You mean that?"

Jason nodded his head as he moved closer to Elizabeth.

"Of course I do. You're his mother, Elizabeth, and from the time I've spent with him, I can already tell that he's going to grow up to be a good man, thanks to you."

"That means a lot."

Jason nodded his head again.

"It still hurts, doesn't it?"

"It's only been a year. I don't think that pain's ever going to go away."

_Breathe into me  
Breathe into me_

"Is it bad that I keep expecting him to come running through the front door and into my arms?"

"No, I think you're always going to expect that because Jake died so young. He didn't get a chance to live his life and it wasn't anyone's fault. Bad things happen to good people all the time. There's no explanation for it."

Jason wrapped an arm around Elizabeth's shoulder as she quietly wept for their deceased son.

_Breathe into me  
Breathe into me_


	5. Out From Under

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or lyrics, just the storyline.** _

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_  


* * *

**Chapter 5**

_**Out From Under** _

After leaving the heartbreaking scene of Patrick holding Emma as she cast off her picture of Robin on the rooftop of General Hospital, Elizabeth went home to check on her boys. They were thrilled to see her home and Elizabeth spent a few minutes alone with them until she left them with Lulu to freshen up. She pulled off her black coat to feel something deep inside one of the pockets.

_Knocked off my feet_  
The earth moved beneath  
The edge of a dream and a nightmare

Tears streamed down her face as she pulled out what she was holding. It seemed so insignificant to hold something so dead, but the memory it brought with it brought Elizabeth to tears. She told Lulu there was something she had to do and left.

Jason stormed out of the church, steaming with anger. He knew that Sam was trying to protect him, but he hated it when people took his power of choice away from him. It was what drove him away from the Quartermaine's all those years ago.

_Open the door_  
Fell through the floor  
Slipped through the cracks into nowhere

He wandered around Port Charles, trying to cool off enough to go back home, but then realized that Sam would probably be waiting for him there. He came across the bridge and it just hit him like a ton of bricks.

Jason held onto the railing with an iron grip, looking to the dark sky for answers. There were no stars out tonight.

"I never used to wish for things. I didn't see the point. Whatever happened happened and all we can do is live with it. But I wish- I wish that I didn't have to say goodbye to you Robin."

He heard light footsteps behind him. He didn't want to turn around, but he felt the warm presence grow closer to him and it forced him to turn around. Twice in one day was the most he's seen her, and judging by her glistening eyes, it was going to be another hard conversation.

_So tell me where were you  
When everything fell down like thunder_

She walked over to him with concern in her sparkling blue eyes.

"So you came up here to say goodbye too?"

_I begged you to pull me through  
I couldn't get out from under_

Jason smiled as he remembered that Elizabeth had that uncanny sense of knowing what he was thinking and feeling.

"You think Emma's going to remember Robin?"

"Yeah of course. We'll help her remember. We'll tell her stories and show her pictures-"

"It's not the same. She's really not going to remember Robin or know who Robin is or how smart she was or the little things that made Robin smile or how hard she tried to do the right thing. And now I've lost her. I've lost her forever."

_I took the fall_  
I took it all  
Last night was just an illusion

Jason looked down at Elizabeth with so much pain in his electric blue eyes. She nodded as they stood in silence on the bridge overlooking the roaring river below them.

* * *

"Max, I need you to check on a shipment at the warehouse. It's very important and I don't want to take any chances."

Max nodded at Sonny as he left to carry out his boss' orders. He stood in shock as he opened the door to leave to see Shawn standing in front of him about to knock.

Max looked back at Sonny, who was also surprised to see Shawn standing there. Sonny nodded at Max to let Shawn in.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to ask for my job back."

"What about Carly?"

"What about her?"

Shawn stood in front of the Mob boss with his arms folded over his chest, his eyes blazing with anger and hurt.

"I thought you quit for her."

"I told her how I felt and she just threw it in my face."

Sonny dryly chuckled as he moved out from behind his desk and went over to his wet bar. He offered Shawn a drink, which he accepted.

"And TJ?"

Shawn took a long drink as he avoided answering Sonny's question.

"I thought you had to take care of TJ."

"Do you always ask all these questions?"

Sonny smiled as he took a seat behind his desk as Shawn sat in front of him.

"I wanted to make sure you don't have any regrets taking this job. Regrets lead to mistakes in the field, and I can't have my people making mistakes."

Shawn nodded as he mulled over his answer.

"TJ is going back home to his mother. I can't be the father figure he needs. I already killed the only father he knew."

"Alright, well, there's no going back now. Meet up with Max at the warehouse to bring in the new shipment."

Shawn nodded as he stood up.

"Here, take this."

Sonny handed Shawn a gun as he walked out of Sonny's office.

* * *

"Robin said goodbye here the first time she went to Paris..."

"Do you wanna be alone? Do you want me to call Sam for you?"

Jason shook his head at Elizabeth. He couldn't believe she was sticking up for his wife. It seemed like yesterday they used to be at each other's throats. Now it seems like another life.

"Did Sam ask you not to tell me about Robin?"

Elizabeth tore her attention away from Jason's pained face.

"She didn't want anyone to tell you. She was afraid you wouldn't be strong enough-

"Would you have lied?"

"I don't know. That's why I didn't come see you."

Talking about Sam's lies angered Jason and he tried not to take it out on Elizabeth, not on this day. He actually felt relieved to know that Elizabeth didn't come to see him because he couldn't take it if she had lied about Robin too.

_Cut me, I bleed_  
Feel me in need  
I finally broke in the pressure

"Well, because Monica lied for Sam. Alexis and Molly did and even Spinelli."

"Sam's just trying to protect you."

"I know, I know she was just doing it for my own good. She decided what everybody was going to say. She decided I couldn't know that Robin was dead and she decided I couldn't handle it. How do I forgive that?"

* * *

Carly waltzed into Johnny's apartment after he took her coat off.

"I told him about Robin and it would crush him to find out that she was dead, but he had to know the truth."

"And you wanted to be the one to tell him?"

Johnny lazily smiled as Carly entered her defensive mode.

"I wanted Sam to tell him because that would be better for Jason. He wouldn't have to deal with losing robin and finding out that his wife doesn't understand him at all."

"That's a bit of an overstatement don't you think?"

Johnny smiled as he took a swig of his whiskey. Watching Carly get all riled up over Jason was entertaining and he wanted to push her buttons. He wanted to see how far she would go for Jason.

"I know Jason. I know what he needs and the longer they're married the more clingy and insecure Sam gets! She makes a big deal with putting up with all the women in Jason's life: Robin, Elizabeth-"

"You."

Carly shook her head as she looked at Johnny smirking.

"She'd like nothing more than to cut us all out. She couldn't wait to ban me from Jason's hospital room or rub my nose in the fact that she's now Jason's family! Let me tell you something, I've been Jason's family a helluva lot longer than Sam has!"

Carly walked away from Johnny in anger, running both hands through her blonde locks.

"Whoa, down girl."

Carly was starting to get pissed that Johnny was taking this seriously or that he was trying to defend poor little Sam.

"No, I'm sorry. This really pisses me off!"

"I can tell and at the risk of making matters worse, just-"

"What?"

It should annoy when she consistently interrupts him, but it doesn't. Oddly, it turns him on when she sticks up for herself. That's one of the many things he liked about Carly. He stepped closer to her, placing his hands on her arms and forcing her to look at him.

"Just consider for a second that Jason just had brain surgery-"

"So?"

"So, maybe Sam was trying to protect him and not letting him get upset-"

Carly shrugged out of his hands and took a step back, hands in the air.

"You're missing the point Johnny! Jason doesn't want anyone deciding what he can and can not handle. And if Sam doesn't understand that by now, she has no business being his wife!"

"Are those Jason's sentiments or yours?"

Carly took a breath to calm down, seeing that Johnny wasn't arguing with her on purpose, he was just trying to tell her to look at the situation from every perspective. She really cared for what he was doing, but he just didn't understand the bond she has with Jason.

"He didn't have a seizure when I told him Robin was dead. He didn't fall to the ground and pass out. He had an appropriate reaction to losing someone you care about."

Johnny took another step towards Carly and placed his hands on her waist.

"Okay, I'm just trying to say that maybe Sam's intentions or actions were not as malicious-"

"Sam underestimated Jason! She made a big mistake."

"Okay, I'm just trying to figure out if all of this is to help Jason or are you more concerned with hurting Sam?"

* * *

Jason took a breath as he tried to calm down. Yelling at Elizabeth wasn't going to make things better with Sam. Elizabeth didn't deserve any of his anger.

"Its just I knew something was wrong the night of the explosion and I could- I could see it and I didn't want to push Sam because she was already scared. You know, after I woke up from the surgery, I kept asking for Robin and I could see it on Sam's face that something was off."

Elizabeth nodded and took a step closer to Jason.

"Sam's terrified. She was doing everything she could to save your life."

"Did you know that Robin went- she went back in that lab and got the drugs she made for me?"

Elizabeth looked up at Jason to see that he was still trying to take the blame for Robin's death.

"There's a ten second delay on the emergency lock-"

"She shouldn't have gone back. Robin shouldn't have died for me."

* * *

"You know what? Jason needed to know the truth about Robin and he needed to know that Sam was lying."

"Interesting..."

Johnny walked away from Carly and turned around to see that she was following him with a confused look on her face.

"What's interesting?"

"Well you're telling me that Sam can't stand the idea of any other women in Jason's life, right?"

"She can't."

"But from where I'm standing you're the one with that problem."

Carly sarcastically laughed at Johnny who was trying to make Sam the victim.

"What are you talking about? Wait a second! I'm just trying to look out for a friend here."

"And Sam is just looking out for her husband."

"No, no she's not because if she knew Jason half as well as I know Jason, she would have never lied to him to begin with."

"Even if she thought it would save his life?"

"Even if because Sam did the one thing that Jason can't tolerate."

"What withhold information?"

"Manage him. It's how the Quartermaine's treated him after his first accident, like he wasn't capable of making his own decisions. He can't stand it."

"I can see how that would feel."

"That's an understatement. He didn't talk to them for years because of it."

"Don't you think there's a little bit of difference? Sam is Jason's wife."

"It won't matter to Jason. All he'll see is the lie."

* * *

"Robin should be home with her daughter."

"Do you want me to say it should have been you?"

Jason looked down at Elizabeth in surprise to see that she was just trying to make him see that it wasn't his fault. She was always there to talk him down from the ledge, so to speak. She was always there to make sense of any situation. She was just always there for him, always in his corner, no matter what.

_So tell me where were you  
When everything fell down like thunder_

"She had too much to live for Elizabeth. If she would have just stopped for a second to think about what-"

Elizabeth was getting slightly frustrated with how Jason was treating himself, but she knew this was how he would react. He always took the blame for the death of someone close to him.

"You know Robin! Yes she did this to save your life, but she would have done this for anyone because that's who she was. She lived her life."

"I don't know what she would have done for anyone else. I only know what she did for me."

Elizabeth gently touched his leather jacket clad forearm, forcing him to look down at her.

"It is not your fault that you got sick or that you needed those drugs. It is not your fault that Robin made that choice. And none of this is Sam's fault."

She couldn't believe she had just defended his wife. She could remember when they pulled each other's hair at the tragic Black & White Ball over Lucky and Jason almost five years ago. So much has changed. Lucky is gone. Jake is dead. Jason and Sam are married and expecting their first child. And she's all alone with her boys, something that she secretly expected but tried to prevent with all her might.

_I begged you to pull me through  
I couldn't get out from under_

* * *

"You know, I think I finally realize why you spend so much time here. You wanna make Jason jealous, don't you?"

Johnny gave her a grin as she laughed at the absurdity of his question.

"While he's at the hospital unconscious half the time, I'm here to make him jealous?"

"Well, c'mon, admit it. You would love it if Jason forgot about Sam and put all his focus onto you."

Carly shook her head as he walked closer towards her.

"I don't have to play games to get Jason's attention."

"What would you call crashing his honeymoon?"

"Necessary. I had to keep Josslyn safe from Franco."

"And Jason is the only person in the world who can do that?"

"Everything Franco does is to get Jason's attention, so yes Jason is the only person who could keep Josslyn safe."

"Okay and this bond between you and Jason, its forever? I mean God help anyone who tries to get in the middle of it."

"Pretty much."

"Hmm, alright. Never mind the fact that he's married?"

"Oh c'mon. Sam just proved tonight that she doesn't understand Jason at all."

"Hmm, not like you do, huh?"

Johnny walked away from her to feel her hand pulled him back towards her. he smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and she rested her hands on his chest.

"Hey, there was a time when Jason was the only good thing in my life."

"And how about now?"

Carly slyly smiled as she looked at his lips and then back up at him.

"Now I think I have other reasons to smile."

"Oh, do you?"

Johnny grinned as she laughed and pulled her head closer to his to meet her lips.

* * *

_Left me for dead inside my head  
Couldn't you see that I was still breathing?_

"Jason, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for being alive. That's what Robin would want. Remember, your life is a gift. Its all you can do when you outlive somebody you love."

_Screaming, I reached for you  
I couldn't get out from under_

Jason nodded his head as he pulled his attention away from the beautiful brunette standing next to him. She still had that effect on him, turning him on whenever he saw her, in normal clothes, a ball gown or even scrubs. She was always surprised at how sexy he found her and God when she blushed… He took a gulp as he looked down at the river below him, trying to calm himself down.

"I came here to say goodbye...its just...I don't even know where to start."

_Where were you?_  
I reached for you  
The pressure broke me down

"I know it feels like the hardest thing in the world, like you're giving up on Robin and if you could just hold onto her for just a little bit longer than she won't really be gone, but that's not how it works."

She took his hand in hers and was forced to look at her. He felt his heartstrings being pulled as he watched a tear slip down her rosy cheeks. He surprised her by wiping it away with a gentle touch. She gratefully smiled and he returned it.

"I know...I know it doesn't."

"God, maybe it would have been easier if you had been at the funeral. Then you could have had some kind of closure."

Jason turned to face her, an idea formed in his head.

"Can you tell me about it? Can you tell me what I missed?"

* * *

"Is she gone yet?"

Johnny sighed as he watched his grandfather walk down the steps.

"Yes, Carly is gone. Are you happy now?"

Anthony smirked as he got a drink.

"I'm just trying to warn you Johnny. Messing with Sonny's ex and his current squeeze is like playing with fire."

Johnny shook his head as he sat down on the couch.

"Since when do you care about Sonny's feelings?"

"I don't care about Sonny's feelings. I do however care about how this is all going to come down on you in the end. Are you prepared for that? How are you going to feel when Ms. Ex Corinthos/ Ex Jacks finds out you've been using her to hurt Sonny? How is she going to feel when she finds out about you and Connie or is it Kate?"

"Grandfather, I know what I'm doing. And I'm not using Carly."

"Oh, you're saying that now, but just you wait."

* * *

"Mac was the first person to speak. He talked about Robin growing up and then he told Emma something he used to always say to Robin, that they're Scorpios and they can get through anything."

"Robin would have liked that."

"And I said a little something...it was just all a blur. I just wanted to tell everyone that I think she's irreplaceable."

_Where were you?_  
I reached for you  
The pressure broke me

Elizabeth wiped away at her tears. Jason smiled as he looked down at her, she was still breathtaking after all these years. Having three kids gave her body more curves than she used to have. He could tell, even under all the clothes, that her body was still in good shape. He remembered the nights they would spend together when they made-

Jason shook his head. He shouldn't be fantasizing about Elizabeth when his wife is expecting his child. Is that cheating?

"Did Sonny say anything?"

"Yeah, he talked about Stone and how sad he was that his friendship with Robin really suffered at the end. Then he and Kate left right after that, probably out of respect to Patrick."

"How is-how is Patrick doing?"

"He's struggling"

"Is Emma ok?"

"She's confused. More than anything she's just confused and children don't- children don't understand death."

"Jake died a year ago...tomorrow."

_Where were you?  
The pressure broke me_

* * *

Shawn watched over the other workers placing boxes from the freighter into the warehouse. He looked over at Max, who was doing the same thing. Shawn took another breath. He knew he shouldn't be here. He knew he shouldn't have asked for his job back. He had TJ to look after, but after the party at Molly's house, things weren't looking good.

TJ's mother had called to let him know that she wanted TJ to come back. She said that it wasn't his fault for what TJ had done, it's just that TJ needed constant authority and Shawn wasn't getting through to him.

"Butler, I need you to check the perimeter."

Shawn shook his head out of his reverie to nod over to Max. They both walked out of the warehouse and separated.

Shawn pulled his gun from his waistband and reloaded it. He held it up at eyelevel, eyes constantly searching for any movement. He heard a twig snap and whirled around to face his assailant but it was only a squirrel. He ran a hand over his face and took a breath.

Shawn continued around the warehouse, making his way to the front. He kept to the shadows, lithely moving around the moonlight.

He felt his "Spidey Sense" tingling and raised his gun. There was this pit in his stomach as he carefully peered around the corner. He waited for Max to appear around the opposite corner, but he never did.

Shawn took an uneasy breath as he stepped out from around the corner and jogged over to the other side of the warehouse. He took another breath as he stepped around the next corner.

His heart stopped as he looked at the scene in front of him and he completely froze, gun falling to the ground.

* * *

"Jake used to love this place."

Jason looked down at Elizabeth in surprise.

"What? I didn't know that."

Elizabeth quietly chuckled to herself.

"Yeah, we used to play at the park down the street and then one day he just spotted this bridge and just begged me to bring him up here. He used to like to look over the edge at all this rushing water. He would make me so nervous."

Jason laughed as he pictured his son leaning over the bridge with his mother's arms firmly wrapped around their son.

"He was- he was a pretty fearless kid."

"Yeah, he would climb up on this railing and would grip it so tight... and he would be smiling from ear to ear like this was the best place in the world."

"Well, he was with his Mom."

_Where were you?  
The pressure broke me_

Elizabeth gave him a small smile at his compliment. He knew it wasn't that much to him, but he knew how much it meant to Elizabeth talking about their deceased son. They rarely got the chance, it always seemed like something or someone would get in the middle. She always said they had horrible timing.

* * *

Shawn looked down at Max, who had a bullet in his forehead and chest, and then up at the man standing in front of him with a gun pointed at Shawn's head. He couldn't move and seeing a murdered Max send Shawn back to his past, memories he wanted to keep locked away forever.

_The scent of his comrade's blood on his hands. The smoke snaking its way into his nose as he heard the bombs blowing up around him. The way his gun felt too heavy to hold, even though he just fired off a shot. The surprised look on the fellow soldiers face as Shawn shot him._

Shawn watched in horror as the man's finger reached for the trigger.

"Who are you?"

The man slightly lowered his gun and pulled his hood up from his face, revealing his identity to Shawn.

"Why…how…you?"

"Sonny needs to pay for his mistakes."

All he could do was let his mouth hang open in surprise as the mysterious man planted a bullet in his head.

* * *

"Being up here makes me feel closer to him...like he's almost in reach."

"Thank you for telling me."

Elizabeth nodded as she reached into her pocket. Jason gave her a questioning look as she pulled the dead, brown leaves into her hand. She peered up at him with tears in her eyes. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, envelop her in his safe body like he used to all those years ago.

"Jake brought these home the last time we were on a walk up here. He used to like to throw them over the edge and watch them hit the water. And every time he would say 'Mommy do you think they'll make it to the ocean?'"

Jason wiped away at warm tears on his face, again picturing their son throwing leaves into the water with his mother. He tried to hold back the few memories he shared with his son, he knew the pain that always accompanied them, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't imagine things like other normal people could, his mind wouldn't allow it, but Elizabeth, Cameron and Jake were the exception. He used to spend most of his day imagining how they would spend the rest of their lives together as a family.

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him 'Absolutely. They're not going to stop till they need to get to where they're supposed to be'... I miss him so much."

Elizabeth crumpled the leaves in her small hand and looked out at the water, but she couldn't bring herself to let go. Jason took another step closer to her and hesitantly touched her hand. He wrapped his much bigger hand around hers and gently pried her fingers open. They watched as the leave slowly fell down to the water and floated downriver.

Jason continued to hold onto Elizabeth's hand, feeling a calming peace emanating from her.

_Where were you?_   
_The pressure broke me_

"I hope you can hear us Jake... I just hope you can feel how much we love you."

_Where were you?_   
_I reached for you_


	6. Hide

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or lyrics, just the storyline.** _

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_  


* * *

**Chapter 6**

_**Hide** _

_Previously on Start Again…_

_Elizabeth crumpled the leaves in her small hand and looked out at the water, but she couldn't bring herself to let go. Jason took another step closer to her and hesitantly touched her hand. He wrapped his much bigger hand around hers and gently pried her fingers open. They watched as the leave slowly fell down to the water and floated downriver._

_Jason continued to hold onto Elizabeth's hand, feeling a calming peace emanating from her._

_"I hope you can hear us Jake... I just hope you can feel how much we love you."_

"I was worried about you. I mean, when you didn't come home last night...I didn't know that maybe you decided to go back to the hospital but that's probably the last place on earth that you-"

_Waste away  
I'm crawling blind_

Jason carefully watched Sam as he laid his leather jacket on the table as he walked into their penthouse. He could tell by her eyes that she was tired, but there was something else hiding in her eyes. Something that he recognized right away: a lie.

"I didn't mean to worry you."

She partly smiled as she stood in front of him, arms protectively wrapped around her stomach. He looked down at her stomach, thinking about the life they made together. She noticed him looking and turned away. He sighed and sat down on the couch.

"Where'd you go?"

She sat on the arm of the chair, a good five feet away from him.

"The bridge over Black Stone Canyon."

Sam nodded her head.

"The one you used to go with Robin all the time. Were you there alone?"

He looked at her in surprise, trying to figure out what she means by her question. Her eyebrows just arched, waiting for an answer. He hated it when she did that. It meant that she was expecting to get what she wanted.

He shook his head as he stood up and walked over to the fireplace. He placed his hands on the mantle and glanced at the small portrait of the only picture of his son that he owned, or one that Sam permitted.

"No I wasn't alone."

Jason heard Sam scoff behind him, and he didn't have to look at her to see her face. He could feel the jealous rolling in waves off of her and crashing into him. He shifted his legs, still not turning to face his wife. The pent up anger in his core was itching to lash out, but he had to remember that Sam was his wife and that she was pregnant. Stress was not good for her or the baby. Their baby.

"What, did Carly track you down?"

Jason shook his head yet again and turned around to face Sam. She was standing there with a hand on her hip. He crossed his arms over his chest and replied to her question with confidence.

"I was with Elizabeth."

_Hollowed by what I left inside  
For you, just you_

* * *

"Alright boys, dinner is ready."

She heard a giggle as her kitchen swung open to reveal Cameron scurrying in to eat. She waited expectantly for Aidan to follow. It took a moment, but she finally saw the door give a little and a wobbling Aidan following after his brother. Right behind Aidan was a bent over Matt, making sure Aidan wouldn't fall.

Elizabeth smiled at Matt when she looked up at him. Yesterday had been hard. Being with Jason on the bridge had made it easier, yet harder at the same time. On one hand, he knew the pain she was going through. On the other hand, she couldn't help but picture the life she could have had with Jason, Cameron and Jake.

She sighed as she spooned macaroni and cheese onto Cameron's outstretched plate.

_I'm caught in place  
But I ignore what I can't erase_

"Thanks Momma."

He gave her a hug and went to the table. She watched as he helped his little brother into his highchair as Matt got the drinks. She couldn't stop watching her boys interacting with each other at the dinner table. Cameron was playfully teasing with Aidan with a piece of paper until Cameron finally gave in and gave the paper to Aidan.

"Elizabeth?"

She shook her head as Matt reached around her and took the pot of macaroni and cheese out of hands.

"Sorry, I just…"

Matt gave her a sympathetic smile as he guided her to the table with a hand on the small of her back.

"Alright, boys."

Cameron stopped flicking his noodles at Aidan after Matt spoke up.

"Let's say a pra-"

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Matt gave Elizabeth a look. She went to get up, but he waved her off.

"I'll get it."

She gave him another smile. She had tried to go to work today, but being in the hospital was too hard. She went to tell Epiphany to that she was leaving, but she ran into Matt. He immediately noticed the condition she was in and drove her home. He had been at her side since then. She kept telling him to go back to work, but he was like a golden retriever. No matter how many times she told him to leave, he would come back. She was grateful for him, she really was. All he said was that she had been by him during the Maxie fiasco and it was time he returned the favor.

_I will run and hide till memories fade away  
And I will leave behind a love so strong_

"Look who's here!"

Elizabeth stood up as Matt came back into the kitchen with Emma in his arms. She smiled as Patrick and Anna followed.

"I hope we're not intruding."

She gave Patrick a smile and gently touched her arm. He nodded at her, but said nothing more. Anna gave her a warm hug. She took Emma in her arms.

"Hi Aunt Elizabeth."

"Oh, baby girl, it's so good to see you."

"Can I have some mac and cheese?"

"Of course you can sweet girl. Cameron, could you get Emma a plate?"

Cameron nodded as he stood up and got a plate from the cabinet. Elizabeth sat Emma down as Anna helped her with the macaroni and cheese.

"I think we need more chairs. Matt?"

"Already on it."

He left to the living room and grabbed more chairs. Once the chairs were set down, everyone took their seats.

"Hey, Emma, sit next to me!"

Elizabeth smiled as her eldest son pulled out the chair next to him so Emma could sit down. Once they were all seated, they joined hands. Elizabeth took Matt and Anna's hands and bowed her head.

"Momma, can I say it?"

"Sure Cam."

"Dear God. Thank you for the mac and cheese. Thank you for bringing my friends over. Hopefully you're taking good care of Jake and Aunt Robin up there. Amen."

_Close my eyes theses voices say  
Haunting me, I can't escape_

Cameron looked around to see all the adults wiping at their faces. He looked over at Emma, who just shrugged her shoulders.

* * *

"Oh, so Elizabeth was at the footbridge?"

Jason grinned as he noticed Sam get defensive.

"Yeah, she used to take Jake up there."

He watched as she took a nervous gulp.

"Jake?"

The way his son's name rolled off her tongue made Jason's heart shudder. She said it with no concern, only distaste.

"It's been a year. And Elizabeth was just telling me how Jake used to love being up at the bridge-"

_For you, just you_  
Time will always wait  
While I throw away what I can't replace

"Jason, I'm really glad you had that time to be with her-"

Didn't she know that he could tell when someone was lying? He shook his head at her fake concern.

"Would you let her come see me if I was still in the hospital?"

He kept his voice calm, but he watched her coil as he hurt her.

"Of course. I never told her she couldn't-"

"Would you have had her stay away because of talking about Jake might upset me just like knowing about Robin was going to upset me?"

She took a step back and raised an accusing finger to him.

"I was just trying to give you time to heal!"

That did it. She was doing things for him now, things he didn't want her to do. He turned around, ran a hand through his hair and stepped to the fireplace. He shoved off it as the anger rose through him and finally he gave in to it. He swung around in a mad rage.

"No you decided what I can handle!"

She looked shocked at first, but it quickly faded away. Now she was just as mad as he was.

"You had just gotten out of surgery Jason! What is so wrong with protecting you?"

"What's wrong is you lied to me Sam! I don't want you lying for what you think is my own good."

He knew he was shaking with rage. He couldn't help it. He wanted to punch something, throw something, and just do something other than talking.

"If I could go back, I would do the same thing. I would, I mean I know Carly's known you a long time but I know you too and I know if I would have told you about that explosion the night it happened you would have gone straight to that lab."

"Sam, you don't know what I would have done!"

"Jason, you're my husband! I think I know you."

"That's just it. You don't know me."

"Yes I do!"

"If you did, you would have known that I don't want people protecting me or making decisions for me! I can take care of myself."

"I let you run off. I let you go say goodbye."

"Yeah, so I could say goodbye to Robin at the footbridge because you wouldn't let me go to the funeral!"

"Then you ran into poor Elizabeth. Poor Elizabeth who always needs you to rescue her! The town whore always needs the Mob enforcer to save her just so she can fuck him!"

Jason walked up to Sam until he was inches to her face. His voice was low and menacing.

"Jake died a year ago. Elizabeth just needed to grieve and I happened to be there. That's it. Don't you ever insult Elizabeth again or I swear…"

Sam moved closer to him.

"Or you'll what? You can't hurt me Jason. I'm having your child!"

"As far as you know."

He walked around her and grabbed his jacket, refusing to look at his wife because all he saw were shame and disgust.

"That's right. Go run to the slut so she can comfort you. That bitch doesn't love you, only what you offer!"

Jason turned to look back at his wife in a rage he had rarely felt in years. He shook his head at the dizziness he was feeling. It was like something had been uplifted, a thin veil, around his mind. It soon went away and he could think clearly again. He pulled on his leather jacket, not knowing where he was going, but uncertainly knowing where he would end up. He started his motorcycle and never looked back.

* * *

"Thanks for dinner Elizabeth."

"It was a pleasure to have you Anna."

She gave the mother a hug as she carried a sleeping Emma out to the car. Patrick was next. He sullenly looked at her and she gave him a warm hug, trying to convey everything she wanted to say, but couldn't. Finally, she felt his arms wrap around her and his head drop down to the crook of her neck. They pulled away and she gave his arm a gentle squeeze as he nodded and walked out.

She closed the door behind him and turned around to see Aidan passed out in his play pen. She walked over to him and knelt down so she could touch her youngest son. She ran a soft hand through dark hair. She wiped away a tear as she heard light footsteps sprinting towards her.

"Good night Momma!"

She turned around to catch Cameron in her arms just in time. He tightly wrapped his arms around her, and she hung on for dear life. She closed her eyes as she felt another tear slide down her cheek.

He pulled away so he could look his mother in the face.

"Don't cry Momma, I'm here. Besides, Jake told me to tell you to be happy."

"Oh, Cam."

She gave him another hug as he wiped the tears off her face. She knew Cameron had been distant lately, knowing that he was probably taking Jake's death the hardest. Now that the dark day passed, Cameron seemed happier and lighter. She sure needed him now more than ever.

Elizabeth stood up as she held her son in her arms. Over Cameron's shoulder, she could see Matt leaning against the kitchen doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Why don't you go get changed into your jammies and I'll be up in a little bit to tuck you in?"

"Can Matt tuck me in?"

She smiled as Matt walked towards them.

"I sure can buddy."

Elizabeth set Cameron down and watched him as he took off for the steps.

"He's a special boy. You should be proud of him, Elizabeth. He definitely takes after his mother."

She grinned as she sat down on the couch. Matt joined her.

"Thanks for helping out today. I know it must have been boring for you chasing kids all day-"

He quieted her with a tender hand on her knee.

"Elizabeth, there was no where else I would rather be than here."

She gave him a smile, which he returned with one of his trademark grins. It made her laugh.

"You should have seen Cam at the dinner table with Emma. He is sure to be a heartbreaker when he grows up."

Elizabeth laughed as she wiped away the stray tears.

"He's definitely his father's son then."

Matt nodded as he reached an arm out around the couch. Elizabeth scooted closer towards him, yet she didn't want to be too close, not yet.

"How's Maxie doing?"

"To be honest, I have no idea. I haven't seen her since Robin's funeral, but the last I saw of her, she was being led away with Spinelli. Hopefully he could get through to her."

"I'm sorry for what I said at the hospital. I thought it would help, but I-"

Matt shook his head and moved closer to her, hands on her knees.

"Elizabeth, you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't know how Maxie was going to react."

"I should have known."

Matt chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

He shook his head as he kept laughing and she crossed her arms in frustration.

"Nothing, it's just since when do you know what's going on in Maxie's head?"

She swatted at his arm in mock annoyance and he playfully flinched away from her. Elizabeth swatted at him again, and he gave her a devious grin.

"Is that how it's going to be?"

She giggled as Matt reached out for her, in which a tickle war ensued.

* * *

Jason hopped off his bike as he stood in front of dingy bar in front of him.

_Jake's_

It's got to be one of the cruelest jokes, but he knew it was fate. It was fate that led Elizabeth to naming their son after the place where he rescued her for the first time.

He shook his head, knowing that he couldn't get piss drunk tonight. He took off on his motorcycle again. He took the winding roads around the cliff, reveling in the wind running through his hair, the roar of the machine beneath him and the quiet that night had to offer.

He rode around for hours, never stopping and never slowing down. He finally stopped on a random highway and pulled over. He noticed a driveway and the memory came out of nowhere.

The nights they would spend together in secret in their private safe house. He drove up the hidden driveway and stopped when the small cabin came into sight. It hadn't changed in four years.

He walked up to the door and entered the six digit code that he could have never forgotten, not even if he tried. It beeped green and the front door clicked.

Jason walked into the front room. The couch was still there. It was covered in dust and he lightly ran his hand over it. Memories flashed before him of the times he used to make love to Elizabeth on this very couch.

He shook his head, trying his hardest to avoid the pain of remembering the rare moments he had with Elizabeth, but the pain was relentless.

Jason walked into the small bedroom, the king size bed still the same. They had only slept together here once, for they never made it to this room, always collapsing on the couch or the floor in front of the fireplace.

He smiled as he turned off the light and walked into the bathroom. He grinned as he remembered Elizabeth asking him if it was big enough for two. It was most definitely big enough for two; as they had tested it out too many times to count.

Jason was finally done with visiting the past, something he never did, but something had clicked in his brain. He was remembering memories he had previously blocked out.

Alan and Emily's deaths were the most painful. He slid to the floor as the memories flood back to him, taking stabs at his heart each time. The worst was when Elizabeth slapped him after Jake died. He couldn't believe he had asked her for Jake's organs to save Josslyn. Their son just died!

He felt oddly free in this moment to himself, as if he had just awoken from a terrible dream.

Jason got up, realizing where he needed to be at the moment, hoping it wasn't too late. He rode at a breakneck pace; thinking of what he was going to say to make this better. To make everything better.

He finally pulled in front of the house and leapt off his bike. He ran up to the steps and looked into the window, praying that she was still awake. The scene in front of him quelled his movements.

Elizabeth was asleep on the couch with Matt's arm around her. Jason shook his head at how cozy they looked. He watched them for minutes, hoping that Matt would get up and leave.

He knew he was being impatient and selfish right now, but he had to talk to her.

"Oh, fuck it."

He grabbed his encrypted cell phone and hopefully dialed the right number. He watched as Matt slowly woke up and looked for his phone. He maneuvered out of Elizabeth's arms and looked for his phone. Finally finding it he answered. Jason froze as he heard Matt's voice on the other side.

"Dr. Hunter. Who's speaking?"

Jason had to think of something.

"This is 911 emergency. You're needed at General Hospital immediately."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

Jason watched as Matt quickly gathered his things, waking Elizabeth up in the process. He watched as they hugged goodbye. Looking behind him, he saw that his bike was still in Elizabeth's driveway, right next to Matt's car! He sprinted to his bike and walked it until it was behind a bush. He dove for cover as Matt walked out and got into his car.

Jason watched as Elizabeth waved to him and Matt pulled out. After he left, Jason watched as Elizabeth closed her door and crept out from the behind the bush. He dragged his bike out, hoping it wasn't damaged.

He stopped it and turned on the engine, revving it loud enough so Elizabeth could hear it, but not too loud. He nervously wrung his hands as he propped open the screen door and knocked on Elizabeth's door. He took a calming breath, hoping that he knew what he was doing.

"Did you forget-?"

Elizabeth stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a smiling Jason standing in front of her.

"Jason, what are you doing here?"

"Do you mind if I come in?"

He gave her a small smile as she nodded and held the door open for him. He walked in and stopped at the couch, waiting for her to join him.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but what are you doing here at three o'clock in the morning? Is something wrong with Sam?"

He shook his head, still smiling.

"Okay then…"

"Elizabeth, I need to tell you something-"

"That can't wait until its light out?"

He gave her a playful smirk as she led him to the couch. He sat down beside her, about the same spot that Matt had previously been seated.

"Alright, what is it?"

"I don't exactly know how to say this…"

She waited patiently for him to answer. Jason was nervously wringing his hands and finally stopped when she placed her hands over his.

"The Jason Morgan I know doesn't get nervous."

"That's just it… I'm not Jason Morgan."

"Uh, did you hit your head because you've been Jason Morgan for the past thirteen years?"

He nervously laughed as she smiled at him, hands still on his. He glanced down at them, then at her lips, then finally at her beautiful eyes.

"Yes, I am Jason Morgan, but I'm not  _Jason Morgan_."

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

Jason took a breath and shifted in his position.

"Something happened tonight. Well, something bad and something good."

"Okay…"

"Sam and I got into a fight."

She quietly waited for him to continue.

"She lied to me."

"Sam was trying to protect you."

"I know that, but I don't need people fighting my battles!"

He stood up, shaking in anger yet again. He looked down at Elizabeth, who looked shocked at his behavior. He slowed down his breathing and ran a hand down his face.

"And I just left. I know-I know that I shouldn't have left her and our baby, but something just clicked for me."

"Jason, what happened?"

"I visited our safe house."

Elizabeth stood up in surprise and turned away from him. She walked over to the mantel and then turned around to look at him. He stood up and took a shy step towards her.

"I started remembering things-things so painful that I've been blocking out for years. Four years to be exact."

He took another breath, fully knowing that he had completely confused her.

"It all came at me at once. The memories we shared together since the night at my penthouse when you saved me, all the way up to Jake being kidnapped, my brain shut it out, pretending I thought I knew how bad it was… Something in my brain had me blocking it. I just- I wasn't there to protect you, Cameron, and Jake. I wasn't there…I… "

_I will run and hide till memories fade away  
And I will leave behind a love so strong_

Elizabeth took his face in her hands and forced him to look down at her. He placed his hands on her wrists, begging with his eyes to never let go. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever, not exchanging words because there was nothing to be said.

"I should have never left you and the boys. If I hadn't- Jake wouldn't-"

Elizabeth gently placed a finger to his lips, immediately stopping him.

"Jason, what happened was both of our faults. We thought we could protect our son, but it was just too dangerous. I understand that now."

"Elizabeth-"

She slowly pulled her hands away from his face.

"You should go back to your wife."

Jason shook his head and sighed. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen.

"I've changed Elizabeth. I've been acting like the love we shared never happened and I don't know why or how. In my head there was this fuzziness whenever I thought of you, like radio static. It's been like that for four years, every since we broke up. Today, for the first time, it went away."

He paused and took another breath, breaking down every wall he had built around himself.

"I don't know if it was triggered by my surgery or being with you at the bridge last night or saying goodbye to Robin, I realized that life is too short to walk away. I finally understand what you said to me. Love shouldn't be safe. It's not logical, that's why its love."

Elizabeth gave him a weak smile, trying so hard not to shed tears, for she had none left.

"I want you Elizabeth. I never stopped wanting you, or needing you, or loving you. I know I'm with Sam now, but I want to be with you Elizabeth. This past four years I feel like I've been in a dream and I've finally woken up."

_I will run and hide till memories fade away  
And I will leave behind a love so strong_

Elizabeth choked back a sob as the man of her dreams was laying out all he had to bear in front of her.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm standing here with my heart in my hands."

She gave a small laugh as she remembered saying the exact same thing to him in his penthouse four years ago.

"I know it's not going to be easy or there aren't going to be brick walls. I just need to know how you feel."

"You and your life have always been the greatest risk for me to take."

Elizabeth pulled her hands away from his face. He immediately locked his arms around her waist, forcing her to stare at him. She placed her hands on his chest.

"Jason, you're having a child with Sam. Sam, your wife. You shouldn't be saying things like this."

_I will run and hide!  
And I will leave behind!_

"What if they're true?"

"It doesn't matter if they're true, they can't happen."

"Tell me you don't feel the same way. Tell me so I know that I tried everything I could and I'll walk away. I'll go back to Sam, fully knowing that I fought for you, because I didn't back then."

Elizabeth took a breath and looked up into his eyes.

"Jason, you're just feeling confused because of your fight with Sam."

"Elizabeth, I'm not confused. I'm far from confused. My fight with Sam was because I felt confused and I'm finally free. I'm free of whatever spell I've been under since before we broke up."

Elizabeth looked closely into his eyes, inches away from his lips. She saw the undying love he had for her that had been hidden for some unknown reason. God, she missed those eyes so much.

"Is it really you Jason?"

He took a sigh as she finally understood.

"Every day I wake up, thinking of what could have been. I know I shouldn't or I know that it's not possible for me, but you, Cameron and Jake were always the exception. You were always the dream that was beyond my grasp. God, I miss the days where we would talk and help each other. I miss the way you used to confide in me, always depending on me with your problems. I just miss you Elizabeth."

She smiled as she placed her head onto his chest and he twirled her around in joy. He sat her down to kiss her, but then pulled back.

"I can't go back on my vows to Sam."

She smiled because she agreed.

"And I don't want you to."

"I'll go back to Sam and explain everything. I know that it's going to crush her and I know I'm having a baby with her, but whatever I have to do to be with you Elizabeth, I'll do."

He placed a kiss on her cheek and moved out of her embrace.

"What if this doesn't work? What if we don't work?"

"What if it does?"

He gave her a kiss on the forehead and walked out of her house. He jumped for joy and hopped onto his motorcycle. He rode it back to his penthouse to tell Sam the news. He quietly opened the door and looked around, but Sam wasn't anywhere to be found. He went to close the door, but Sam was behind him, gun pointed at his chest.

"I know what you did, you fucking bastard."

There was no time to move before she pulled the trigger…

Jason sat up in his bed, sweat dripping off his face. He looked down at himself to see no bullet hole in his chest. He looked to his side to Sam soundly sleeping. He groaned as he ran a hand down his face.

It all wasn't real. None of it was real. Visiting the safe house and…God telling Elizabeth all those things…

It had all been a dream.

_I will run and hide till memories fade away  
And I will leave behind a love so strong!_


	7. Faceless

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or lyrics, just the storyline.** _

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_  


* * *

**Chapter 7**

_**Faceless** _

_Previously on Start Again…_

_Jason sat up in his bed, sweat dripping off his face. He looked down at himself to see no bullet hole in his chest. He looked to his side to Sam soundly sleeping. He groaned as he ran a hand down his face._

_Everything he had said to Sam, all the hurtful things she said to him. Visiting the safe house and…God telling Elizabeth all those things…_

_It had all been a dream._

Sam looked over at her slumbering husband. He must have come home early this morning. She shook her head and got up.

She was still mad when she took her shower and went downstairs. She couldn't understand why Jason was mad at her. She was just trying to protect him. Why couldn't he see that?

The doorbell rang and she checked the time. It was ten o'clock in the morning. Who would be visiting them?

Sam walked over to the door and opened it to see someone she knew she shouldn't.

"Lieutenant McBain. What are you doing here?"

John was leaning against the doorway with a small smile on his face. He had come to enjoy toying with Jason Morgan, and that came with his wife. He knew he recognized her from somewhere, which she constantly reminded him, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember from where.

"I just wanted to talk."

Sam shook her head and stepped aside for the police officer to enter.

"Where's your husband?"

"He's still sleeping."

"At ten o'clock?"

John gave her a questioning look and Sam rolled her eyes.

"He got in late last night okay?"

"Trouble in paradise?"

"It's none of your damn business!"

John held up his hands in surrender.

"Alright, I was just trying to talk to you. You're a little on the edge. Something wrong?"

"Everything is wrong."

Sam sat down with her head in her hands. John sat down in the chair next to her. he patiently waited for her to continue.

"It's just with this baby, Jason's illness then when he visited Elizabeth-"

"Who's Elizabeth?"

Sam gave him a smug look and scoffed.

"Elizabeth Webber, the prized princess of Port Charles. She had a son with Jason."

"Ahh, I see."

"Yeah, but he died so…"

John gave her a look because she didn't seem sympathetic.

"Why are you so angry with Elizabeth?"

"Because if Jason didn't work for who he does, he would be with her in a heartbeat! Instead, his life is 'too dangerous' for her and her children, so they aren't together. Now he settled for me."

"And you're mad that he's settling?"

"I love Jason, I do, but he does what he thinks is best for everyone but himself. He's only with me because he can't be with Elizabeth. Now that we have a child on the way…"

"You're hoping that brings him closer to you."

"Exactly."

John nodded his head while Sam tried to hide back her tears.

"And did you try telling him this? Or talking to him about his job?"

"Oh no, we're not allowed to talk about his job. Ever."

"Why's that?"

Sam looked up in fear because she finally realized she had said too much.

"I think you should go."

John smiled, knowing he was getting closer to the answer of who killed Cole and Hope.

"Alright, well, I guess I'll see you around Mrs. Morgan."

Sam rolled her eyes as she walked John out of the penthouse. She closed the door behind him and leaned against, taking a breath of relief.

* * *

"Cameron, you're up early."

Cameron turned around from the TV to see his pajama clad mom carrying his brother down the steps.

"Momma, its Saturday. Cartoons are on."

Elizabeth smiled as she sat Aiden in his playpen and sat down next to her eldest son.

"Whatcha watching?"

"Batman!"

Elizabeth smiled as she ran her hand through his dark curls.

"I'm going to go make breakfast. Do you wanna help?"

Cameron didn't answer as he was engrossed in the TV.

"What about chocolate chip pancakes?"

Cameron looked up at his mom with excitement.

"Okay Momma!"

"Alright, why don't you go get the pancake mix out of the cabinet and I'll be in there in a minute?"

"Alright."

Cameron gave Elizabeth a kiss on the cheek and raced off to the kitchen. She smiled as she got up and went over to Aiden. She picked up the smiling boy.

"You're peppy this morning. What's gotten into you?"

Aiden squealed as Elizabeth carried him over to the kitchen.

"Okay, Cam, pour the mix into the bowl."

Elizabeth turned around to check on Aiden and the next moment, she heard a giggle. She turned around to see Cameron smiling with pancake mix all over his face.

Elizabeth put her hands on her hips and gave Cameron a reprimanding look.

"Cameron Lewis Webber, what did you do?"

Cameron gave her a shy look and shrugged his shoulders. Elizabeth couldn't be made at him for long because he looked so darn cute.

"Go wash up then, you little monster."

Cameron squealed as Elizabeth chased him out of the kitchen. She heard him plop up the stairs and started to clean the mess.

She started to feed Aiden as she waited for Cameron to come back downstairs. Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door.

_Who could be here this early in the morning?_

She was thinking maybe Matt or Anna. She picked up Aiden and walked towards the front door. She opened it to see a mysterious man standing before her.

He had long hair that almost came down to his shoulders. It was black with hints of gray. He had a solemn face, but his eyes…They were a blue gray that were very hypnotizing and held her gaze.

He politely coughed and Elizabeth shook her head as she realized how long she had been standing there without saying anything.

"Sorry to bother you to this early in the morning. I'm Lieutenant John McBain of the Llanview Police Department. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about the fatal car accident of Cole Thornhart and Hope Manning Thornhart?"

God, his voice was so deep and raspy. It was very alluring. Elizabeth had no idea who he was or why he was at her house.

"Uh, sure come in."

He followed her into her living room and watched as she sat Aiden down in his playpen.

"Cute baby. I have a son around the same age, Liam. He's home with his mother though."

"That's a beautiful name."

Elizabeth motioned him towards the couch to sit down.

"I know you're probably wondering why I'm here-"

"That's exactly what I'm wondering."

John gave her an easy smile at her feistiness. He now understood why Sam often clashed with her. He could tell that Elizabeth could hold her on and Sam didn't like when he enemies fought back.

"Well, I know you're a nurse."

"And how do you know that?"

"I visited Epiphany, is that her name?"

"You talked to Epiphany?"

"Yeah, she was very…"

"Intimidating?"

John smiled at how nervous Elizabeth got when he mentioned the head nurse's name.

"Yes, intimidating. I wanted to a list of nurses that worked at General Hospital."

"Why?"

"I'm conducting an investigation for the murder of Cole and Hope. I was hoping you'd be able to help me."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure of how much help I can be. I just returned to work from suspension-"

"Suspension?"

John pulled out his notebook and Elizabeth sighed.

"It wasn't like that. It was a misunderstanding."

John nodded his head, motioning her to continue.

"A woman had accused me of stealing drugs."

"Who was the woman?"

"Maxie Jones-"

"The adopted daughter of Port Charles Police Commissioner Mac Jones?"

Elizabeth gave him a puzzling look.

"How do you know so much about Port Charles?"

John smiled and put his notebook away. It was clear this woman didn't know who killed Cole and Hope.

"Cole was very close to me, practically a son. When I heard he had died in a hit-and-run, I came here for justice."

Elizabeth gave him a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry. I know the pain you're going through."

John raised his eyebrows at her and she nervously laughed.

"My son also died in a hit-and-run. Unfortunately, I know who did it."

"Who?"

"His adopted grandfather, Luke Spencer. He had been drinking."

John shook his head in disgust. If it was one thing that he hated, it was drunk drivers killing people. The worst part about it is that it could all be avoided if they didn't drive drunk.

"I'm sorry. How long's it been?"

"It was a year yesterday."

John nodded. Cole's death was still fresh and he didn't know how he was going to get over it, but here was a woman whose son had been dead for year and she still looked like she was in pain.

"How old was he, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Jake was almost four."

"He was about the same age as Hope then."

Elizabeth nodded as she tried to wipe away a stray tear. John reached into his jacket and pulled out a handkerchief. He handed it to her and she laughed.

"I didn't know men still carried these. Isn't it a little old-fashioned?"

John smirked as Elizabeth dabbed at his eyes.

"Yeah, well you could call me old-fashioned…"

Elizabeth nodded her head as she handed the handkerchief back to John.

"Which is why I'm here to find Cole and Hope's killer. If you hear anything, please don't hesitate to call me. You can call anytime…if you need to talk…about anything."

Elizabeth gave him a small smile as she took his card.

"I should go. I've already wasted enough of your time."

"You didn't waste my time. It was nice to talk to someone who's going through the same thing as me."

John nodded as he got up to leave. As he went to the door, Elizabeth right behind him, Cameron bounded down the steps, now changed into clean clothes.

"Momma, who's that?"

John smiled at the little boy who stood shyly on the last step. He turned around to look at Elizabeth, who didn't look like she was about to answer. He squatted down in front of Cameron and held out his hand.

Cameron nervously shook it and John gave him a wide smile.

"I'm Lieutenant John McBain of the Llanview Police Department."

"I'm Cameron Lewis Webber of Port Charles."

Elizabeth chuckled as her son looked at the police officer in awe.

"Do you know my dad?"

John looked over at Elizabeth, who looked as white as a ghost.

"No, I'm sorry I don't. Is he a police officer?"

"Yeah, he's a police detective. He isn't here right now."

Cameron looked sad as he looked up at his mother, who was wearing a similar look. John looked between the both of them and stood up.

"Well, how about I give you my card with my number on it. You can call me anytime you want if you want to talk, or take a ride in a police car, as long as it's okay with your mother."

Cameron's face lit up. Elizabeth smiled at her son, then at John.

"Thanks again for talking Ms. Webber and sorry for taking up your time."

She nodded her head as she gave him a smile and closed the door behind him.

"Momma, Mr. McBain was very nice. Can I go for a ride in his cop car sometime?"

Elizabeth smiled as she ruffled her hand through Cameron's hair.

"Maybe someday Cam."

* * *

Jason shot up from his dream once again. It seemed like it was on repeat. He kept telling Elizabeth how he really felt. Was this a sign? He wasn't supposed to be able to dream, so why is he dreaming about Elizabeth?

_A voice screaming from within  
Begging just to feel again_

He ran a hand down his face, the dream still affecting how he was thinking. What he wouldn't give to have Elizabeth beside him. Wait, that's the dream talking, isn't it?

_Can't find who I am without you near me  
I'd give anything to live_

He ran into the shower and turned it to cold to wipe away the dream from his mind. For some reason it wouldn't go away.

_'Cause without you I don't exist  
Your the only one who saves me from myself_

Jason bounded down the steps. He had gotten an emergency call from Sonny to get down to the warehouse immediately. He saw that Sam was sitting on the couch.

_I abandoned this love and laid it to rest  
And now I'm one of the forgotten_

He sighed as he walked over to her with his leather jacket in hand.

"I'm going down to the docks. Sonny needs me."

"Of course he does."

"What did you say?"

Sam stood up, but she wasn't in the mood to argue.

"I'm just saying that whenever Sonny calls you, you drop everything for him. What about a nice quiet morning with your pregnant wife?"

Jason squeezed the bridge of his nose in frustration and trying to prevent the headache that was coming on.

_I'm not among myself  
Feel like I'm someone else_

"Sam, I thought we were past this. You are my family and you will always be put first, but right now Sonny said it was emergency."

"How bad could it be?"

"Max and Shawn were found shot and killed outside the warehouse."

Sam stood in shock as Jason shrugged his jacket on and placed his gun in his back waistband.

"Do you know who did it?"

"No, that's why I'm going down there. Nothing else was taken and no one else was hurt."

"So, do you think it's personal against Sonny?"

"It could be. Max has been one of Sonny's most trusted bodyguards and Shawn had been Carly's previous bodyguard, so who knows? I need to leave."

"Fine, go."

Jason shook his head at his wife's abrasiveness. It seemed like all they ever did was argue anymore. He stopped short at the door when he smell something, something like cologne and it sure as hell wasn't his.

"Was someone here?"

He turned around to see Sam pale and nervous.

"Yeah…uh…it was nothing-"

"Sam, answer the question! Who was here?"

"McBain! Happy now?"

Jason shook away the waves of anger rolling through him and closed his eyes.

"Why did you let him in Sam?"

"Because unlike you he actually talks to me about my concerns and generally cares. You just go running off to your baby mama and leave me here with your baby!"

"That's enough Sam! I'm tired of you scrutinizing Elizabeth and thinking that she's below you. Guess what, she's not! If I didn't live my life the way I chose to long ago, the situation here would be different."

_Fallen and faceless  
So hollow, hollow inside_

"So you're saying that if Sonny hadn't offered you your job, you would be with Elizabeth?"

Jason shook his head and refused to answer. Sam scoffed and turned away from him.

"What did you tell him Sam?"

"I told him about you. I told him about Elizabeth and Jake."

Jason physically shook with anger, but he tried to calm himself.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I'm so tired of hearing about precious Elizabeth and how her life sucks. What about me Jason? I was raped!"

Jason slammed his hands down on the desk and walked out, refusing to argue with her anymore.

He got on his motorcycle and raced down the docks, anger taking over. He pulled up and barely stopped before he hopped off and walked briskly down to the warehouse.

Guards were everywhere, roaming around the warehouse for protection. Sonny was already down there on the phone. Once Jason reached him, he immediately hung up.

Beside Sonny were two body bags and pools of dried blood.

"What happened?"

Sonny motioned him to walk away from the on looking guards and towards a secluded spot.

"Shawn and Max were found dead early this morning. Both with bullets in their head and chest. No one heard the gun go off and no one saw anything suspicious. They were shot in cold blood and by the looks on their faces, it seems the killer's identity was a surprise to them."

"Could it have been the Zacchara's?"

"It seems like it, but why would Max and Shawn be surprised to see Johnny or Anthony kill them?"

"Maybe it wasn't who surprise them, but how they were surprised."

"Maybe."

Sonny ran a hand down his face.

"I haven't called Milo yet."

"Where is he?"

"Down in Miami working a job."

"He has to know."

"I know, I know…"

Jason sighed.

"I can call him, if you want."

"Jason, I'm a big boy. Plus you've got Sam and your baby to worry about."

Jason scoffed.

"Not for too much longer."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that we've been having the same argument over and over again and we're getting nowhere."

"Is it about Robin?"

"Well, it was. Now it's moved on to Elizabeth."

"Why Elizabeth?"

Sonny looked shocked at Jason. He knew what happened between them and knew that they had been over for years now.

"Sam's got this thing in her head that I'm going to leave her for Elizabeth."

"Are you?"

Jason looked appalled at Sonny's question.

"It's just a question."

"Sonny, I married  **Sam**. Sam is my wife and we're having a child."

"Did you tell her that?"

"No matter how many times I do, she just gets more and more insecure about it. There's nothing I can say or do to stop her. Now she's starting to bad mouth Elizabeth and I won't stand for it."

"How come Elizabeth is just being mentioned now?"

"I ran into her on the footbridge yesterday. We talked about…Jake."

Sonny realized what he meant.

"It's been a year, hasn't it?"

Jason sullenly nodded. The searing pain still cut into his heart daily knowing that he should have been there to protect and love his son.

_A part of me is dead  
Need you to live again_

"Jason, it's not your fault."

"Yes it is! I should have been there! I should have been there to protect them!"

_Can you replace this  
I'm hollow, hollow and faceless_

"Jason, you let Elizabeth and her boys go so that they could be safe."

"Yeah, well, look how that turned out."

"Accidents happen, Jason. It had nothing to do with you."

"Sonny, if I had chosen to stay with Elizabeth, Jake could still be alive right now."

"That could be true Jason, but you can't protect everyone!"

"It's my job Sonny. Everyone expects me to protect them, but every time I get close to someone, they either die or leave with their hearts broken."

_Shadow's growing in my mind  
Ones I just can't leave behind_

Jason pounded the wall beside him, bloodying his knuckles. Sonny silently stood by him until Jason let out all of his pain and anger.

"Jase, maybe you should go away for awhile. Take Sam and just leave. Being here isn't helping you."

"What are you going to do about the Zacchara's and this new threat?"

"I'll manage."

Jason shook his head.

"Running away from my problems isn't going to solve them."

Saying those words took another blow to his heart. They were the same exact words Elizabeth had said to him when he asked her to go to Italy with him.

"Well, then just go home to Sam."

"I can't. She's too busy chatting it up with McBain."

"What do you mean? I thought you told her to stay away from him!"

"I did, but have you ever known Sam to do what she's told? Anyways, McBain came over this morning and talked to her. She told him about Elizabeth and Jake."

"You don't think he could-"

"I don't know what to think."

"Maybe you should go by and check it out."

Jason nodded, knowing that being here wasn't going to help anything.

"I'll call you if I hear anything."

Jason left swiftly and hopped on his bike. He made his way to her house, knowing that he could never forget the route.

He pulled into her driveway to see that a cop car was in her driveway. He angrily got off and ran up to the door. It was pulled open before he could pound on it. Behind it stood John McBain.

Jason was shaking with anger at the man who was subtly driving a wedge between him and his wife.

_I'm not strong enough to pay this ransom  
One more monster crawled inside_

"Morgan, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question, McBain."

John held up his hands in innocence.

"I was just asking Ms. Webber about the accident regarding-"

"She had nothing to do with it, so you should probably leave."

John gave Jason a questioning look and then it dawned on him why Jason was here.

"Ah, Mrs. Morgan told you I'd be here."

Jason just gave him his infamous stone cold stare.

"I can take a hint. I'll see you around Morgan."

John maneuvered himself around a stoic Jason. Jason continued to stand there, staring into Elizabeth's living room until he heard the police car leave.

Elizabeth came into his sight with Aiden in her arms and Cameron huddling behind her. She was dressed in a light pink tank top and baby blue pajama bottoms. Her small feet poked out from beneath. Her dark hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail. Her cheeks were flushed from just waking up. God her eyes were still that same blue. He always caught himself staring at them for so long.

He took another ravaging look down her figure, and this time she noticed. She nervously swallowed as his eyes continued to search her. He just couldn't get enough of her. She was still as beautiful as the day he met her. Now she was more curvy and mature.

He could still recall the hours he spent with Sonny in meetings imagining what he was going to do to her once they met at the safe house.

He took another breath as he calmed himself down, and it wasn't from his anger.

_But I swear I saw it die  
Can you save me from the nothing I've become_

"Jason what are you doing here?"

Jason held up one finger, motioning her to give him a moment. He took small breaths until he composed himself.

"I'm sorry about that… I didn't mean to…I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

_I been in this love and laid it to rest  
And now I'm one of the forgotten_

He gave her a shy smile while she gave him a look and stepped aside so he could come in.

"Hey Cameron, why don't you run upstairs and wash up your face?"

"But I already did. I wanna talk to Jason."

"I promise he'll still be here when you come back down."

Cameron looked up at Jason.

"I promise I'll still be here, buddy."

"Alright, fine."

Jason watched with a smile as Cameron stomped up the steps.

"Sorry about that, he's starting to get into his rebellious stage. I'm certainly not looking forward to it."

"Considering how you acted when you were a teenager, I would be too."

_I'm not among myself  
_ _Feel like I'm someone else_

Jason grinned at her and Elizabeth just shook her head as she sat down with Aiden in her lap.

"Why are you here?"

Jason sighed as he sat down beside her.

"McBain's gunning for Sonny."

"And?"

"And Sam told him about you and Jake and I don't want him using you as a weakness against me so…"

"You came over here to check on me?"

Jason shyly nodded his head.

"Well, it's always good to see you Jason, but don't you have a pregnant wife at home?"

Jason scoffed and shook his head. He leaned back against the couch and spread his arms out. Elizabeth shifted a squirming Aiden.

"She was the one who told McBain about you."

"So?"

"So shouldn't you be angry with her?"

Elizabeth sighed.

"Jason, I've spent too many years arguing with people, and I've finally learned that it gets me nowhere. Of course I'll still defend myself, but I'm tired of it all."

Jason gave her a sympathetic smile as he stared at Aiden.

"Did you want to hold him?"

Jason gave her look that was very reminiscent of when she used to ask him if he wanted to hold Jake.

"Uh, sure."

Elizabeth smiled and handed her youngest son over to the Mob enforcer. He smiled as he held the small boy in his lap with one of Aiden's hands wrapped firmly around his index finger.

_Fallen and faceless  
So hollow, hollow inside_

"He's got a firm grip."

Elizabeth smiled as Aiden laughed when Jason tickled his stomach.

"He's got you laugh too."

"Yeah, he mostly takes after me."

"He has your same beautiful blue eyes."

_A part of me is dead  
Need you to live again_

Jason looked up in alarm. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. He looked over at Elizabeth, who also looked surprised, but there was something else in her eyes. Maybe satisfaction? Relief that he still notices or cares?

_Can you replace this  
I'm hollow, hollow and faceless_

"Where's Lucky?"

"Lucky's been in Ireland for a few months now. I don't think he's coming back."

Jason looked away from Aiden and at Elizabeth. She looked sad, but he could tell she was trying to stay strong in front of him.

_I'm faceless  
I'm hollow and faceless_

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too. I just never thought he would leave his kids."

"He's stupid for doing that."

_We are the faceless  
We are the nameless_

Elizabeth smiled at Jason's compliment.

"Thanks, but I think I was just meant to be a single mom."

_No you're not._

Jason so desperately wanted to correct her.

_We are the hopeless_  
Until we have faces!  
Faceless!

"Elizabeth, you're a great mother. Don't let anyone tell you different. You're doing a wonderful job with Cameron and Aiden."

Elizabeth smiled again and wiped away the brimming tears. Finally, she couldn't hold it in any longer. Jason watched as she broke down beside him. He shifted Aiden in his lap and offered Elizabeth his shoulder.

_I'm not among myself  
Feel like I'm someone else_

She warily looked at him, but he gave her a reassuring smile. He wrapped an arm around her as she cried into his chest. He kissed the top of her head and held tighter onto her. He looked down at Aiden, who was oblivious to what was going on.

_Fallen and faceless  
So hollow, hollow inside_

Elizabeth had composed herself and unwound from Jason's arm.

"Sorry for messing up your shirt."

"It's okay, I have plenty more."

What she was really saying was that she was sorry for breaking down in front of him.

What he was really saying was that it was okay and that he would always be there for her.

"You've changed."

Jason gave her a quizzical look.

"You seem angry."

"Well, I am."

"It's not just that. You look like you're feeling these emotions for the first time, as if you've just woken up from something… I don't know a trance."

_A part of me is dead  
Need you to live again_

Jason looked at her in wonder. She was describing exactly how he was feeling in his dream the other night. Is this a sign?

"I don't know, I just feel…free. Before I just felt so…hollow…and faceless."

"Don't worry, it looks good on you."

Jason chuckled as he handed Aiden back to his mother. He got up to leave, knowing that it was his time.

"Thanks for listening to me. I know it's usually the other way around-"

"Jason, I always like to listen to your problems. I know it's usually me venting to you, but you can always come to me about yours."

"I'm glad that you told me. I might have to take you up on that."

"Hey, that works both ways."

Jason opened the door to leave and turned around to see Elizabeth walking away from him. He grabbed her free wrist and turned her around. He pulled her flush against him. The tension between them was palpable. She blushed, which drew a smile out of him.

He was pleased with himself knowing that he could still make her blush. Her lips curved upward into a smile. They looked so soft, he was so tempted to touch them with his own. Unknowingly, he started to lean in, but felt Aiden move between them. He stopped and sighed.

_Can you replace this  
I'm hollow, hollow and faceless_

"You know you can always come to me, right? No matter how bad it is or who its about."

Elizabeth nodded her head and readjusted Aiden on her hip.

"I know."

They shared a long look between each other. Neither moved for a full minute until Aiden started to squirm.

"Can you say goodbye to Jason, Aiden?"

Jason smiled and kissed Aiden on the top of his head.

"Goodbye Aiden. It was good to see you."

He looked at Elizabeth and finally let go of her wrist.

"Goodbye Elizabeth."

"Bye Jason."

_Faceless_


	8. Forever

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or lyrics, just the storyline. Oh boy, if I did, man how different the show would be… oh well.** _

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_  


* * *

**Chapter 8**

_**Forever** _

_Flashback to August 2006…_

Jason slammed the penthouse door behind him. He leaned against it for support. He took a calming breath, but it didn't help. Nothing could help the pain that was slowly breaking his heart.

_I try to run, I try to hide from a voice that couldn't satisfy  
That was me, always needing more_

He ran a hand down his face, trying to fight the images of Sam fucking Ric from flashing across his mind. He shook his head and walked over to the pool table.

Bracing his hands against the edge, he yelled out in pain.

Jason knew it was partially his fault, but God, did she have to sleep with the one man that he hated? The one man that was married to Elizabeth? The one man that kidnapped Carly, chained her to a wall in his panic room and tried to kill her so he could have her baby?

He kept pushing away Sam's advances, saying it was for her won good, but she would never take a hint. She finally gave up and was inadvertently pushed into Ric's slimy arms.

Jason poured himself a drink and down it quickly. He wiped at his mouth and poured himself another shot of tequila. To his dismay, it didn't help his bleeding heart. Nothing could.

_But letting go of all I had before  
Cause it feels like the end_

He sat on the steps, thinking of all the memories he shared with Sam here. He couldn't stop the flow of pain from his heart. He felt like he could throw up.

How could she fuck her own step father?

Because she's Sam and she's a con woman. She does anything for money or for personal gain, no matter who she hurts in the process.

He dryly laughed to himself as he took another swig of tequila. He couldn't believe he fell for her spell.

_A wound that I can't mend  
I just can't fight any longer_

* * *

Elizabeth opened the door to a scene she would never forget for the rest of her life: Lucky on the bed with Maxie fucking him.

Elizabeth put a hand to her mouth and closed the door. She didn't think it was possible, but Lucky had broken her heart yet again. She tried to stop the tears from falling, but she had no strength left.

Elizabeth could barely walk; it felt like her feet were in quicksand. She went home to their apartment in a daze. She looked around at the small room, trying to remember when it all went wrong? Was it when Lucky got addicted to pain killers?

The memories that she had made with her first love were so evident. The bed was right in front of her. The bed that they made love on countless times. She couldn't stand to look at it any longer.

She started throwing the pillows off, screaming, just trying to do something to stop the pain.

The door opened and in walked Lucky. She couldn't stand to look at him; all she saw was hurt and disgust.

"Im sorry, I should have called."

_That's what he's apologizing for?_

Elizabeth couldn't believe that he had the nerve to walk in here and pretend like nothing happened.

"Why didn't you?"

"I was on a stakeout all night. The one moment that I had to call, it was late and I didn't wanna wake you and Cam-"

"You're such a liar."

Lucky was surprised by the venom Elizabeth didn't care about hiding in her voice.

"What?"

"You were stake out all right, in bed with Maxie."

She watched for a reaction in him. His eyes grew wider, his pupils dilated. He started to noticeably sweat on his face.

She shook her head, knowing that he was going to try to lie his way out of this.

"Where would you get such a crazy idea?"

"Oh, I don't know... Carly."

"You gotta be kidding me! When do you believe Carly about anything?"

Now he was going to try to deflect her attention away from him and onto Carly. She dryly smiled as he went to get a beer out of the refrigerator.

"You know, you're right because I didn't want to. In fact, I even defended you and I accused her of trying to undermine our marriage. And I told her how well I knew you and that you would never cheat on me."

"Good for you."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes as Lucky downed his beer. He couldn't get out of this, there was no way she'd let him get away with this. She was tired of his lies and accusations. She was tired of it all.

"So you didn't sleep with Maxie last night?"

She gave him one chance to come clean, one chance he most certainly didn't deserve.

"Of course not! I was on a stakeout all night!"

Lucky was yelling at her now, and she couldn't hold her own anger back any longer.

"I saw you and so did Carly. Apparently you and Maxie were so hot for each other that you couldn't bother to close the door."

"Okay, you saw us?"

Finally he was getting it.

"Yeah, I did. And it didn't really look like the first time you guys had been together. Why would you do this to me?"

She wanted to cry, she really did, but she couldn't give Lucky the satisfaction.

"How could you expect me to do anything else?"

_What?_

Now it was her turn to be surprised. He wasn't making any sense. Maybe it was the drugs talking, but still, he was out of excuses and chances.

"I'm sorry; could you run that by me again? How could I expect you not to sleep with another woman? Maybe because you promised before God and all of our family and friends that you wouldn't!"

"What about your vows Elizabeth? What about them?"

Was he really going to try and blame her for this?

"What about my vows? I haven't broken any!"

"Look in your heart, you don't want me. Maxie does, that's why I slept with her."

Her mouth fell open at his reasoning for sleeping with another woman.

"Oh God…"

"You know what, its not being the big mistake around here."

"Where is this coming from?"

"Its honesty! You should try it. You should start by admitting that you can't get Patrick out of your mind."

Yes, he really was going to try and blame her for his adultery.

"Oh God, don't even use your irrational jealous to excuse what you did. I don't even know you anymore because the man I married would have never cheated on me and wouldn't have turned around and tried to make it my fault!"

"What you need is that guy that's bigger than life and we both know that's its not me! That one shining moment in my life when I was the hero turned out to be a mistaken identity. Then there's Patrick!"

"Okay, I am not going to stand here and let you wallow in your self-pity over something that only exists in your head! I didn't make you spit on our wedding vows. You chose to. And if Maxie is such a perfect match for you, then I am happy to get out of your way."

Elizabeth picked up her purse, searching for her car keys. She wanted nothing more than to leave Lucky here and never come back. She wanted to go get Cameron and just leave this place because she was sure she would never be able to forgive Lucky for what he did.

"God I bet you are! You finally got the excuse to go running to Patrick's arms! Not that you need one, you probably already slept with him all over the hospital!"

Lucky dug into his jean's pockets. She carefully watched him, knowing exactly what he was looking for desperately for. She pulled the pills out of her purse.

"Are you looking for these? Why don't you take them, you probably love them more than your wife or your mistress!"

She threw the canister at him and slammed the door behind her, never looking back.

* * *

Jason sat on the steps, the bottle of tequila almost gone. It wasn't helping, the pain was still there. It was practically unbearable. He just wanted it to go away.

He wished he had never seen Sam with Ric. He wished he could continue to ignorantly believe that Sam is the one for him.

He leaned his head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. He was trying to figure out how he deserved this pain, this excruciating pain that was ripping his heart into pieces.

Jason just wanted to turn his feelings off and just have the numbness that comes with it. The pain he felt was almost as bad as when Michael was taken from him.

He knew nothing could help him at this point. He wasn't even sure how he was going to make it through the night until someone knocked on his door.

He prayed to God that it wouldn't be Sam. He slowly walked over to his door, took a deep breath and opened it to find Elizabeth standing in front of him.

She looked out of breath and disheveled. Her cheeks were flush and there were tearstains running all the way down to her chin. Her eyes reflected the same pain he was experiencing. He didn't even have to ask her what was wrong; he just needed to look into her eyes to know the answer.

_You waited 'til I sobered_  
You came when you knew that the game was over  
I didn't even want to be found

They were begging him to let him in and he figured talking to her couldn't hurt.

"Um, I'm sorry for just showing up like this."

"It's-its okay. What happened?"

He waited with baited breath as she hesitated to answer his loaded question. He knew that so much had happened with her.

_But you chased me down and broke in just when  
I was done believing_

"I've got nowhere else to go."

He stepped aside so she could enter. She stopped short and started to wring her hands. He carefully watched her as he sat the bottle of tequila down on the table.

Jason moved closer towards her, and that's when she broke down. She couldn't help herself; she had held it in for so long. He wrapped his arms around her, reveling in the way she tightly held him. Being so close to someone familiar while he was going through his pain was comforting.

_Spun me 'round so close now  
I can feel you breathing_

Jason closed his eyes and took in her scent. She always smelled good to him, like vanilla and something else that was sweet. He took a breath, knowing that he couldn't hold her like this forever.

She rested her head on his chest, and started to calm down. She pulled away from him and ran a hand through her hair.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't stop crying."

He reached around her and picked up the bottle of tequila he had been previously drinking.

"Maybe this will help."

"Tequila?"

He nodded as he poured her a shot and watched as she quickly downed it. Maybe it was the tequila affecting his head or the pain in his heart, but she looked beautiful tonight. Her pale skin was slightly glowing in the candlelit room.

_Sunlight burns inside and  
I feel so alive and_

She sat down on the couch as she poured herself another shot.

"Okay, just be careful."

He wobbly sat down beside her to stop her from drinking too much.

"Jason, are you- are you drunk?"

"I'm feeling it, but I can see that you're in pain and you can tell me or not, whatever you need."

She gave him a smile, and said nothing, but her eyes spoke volumes. They sparkled in the darkness and he couldn't stop himself from staring at her.

Elizabeth turned away from him, the embarrassment evident on her face.

"Lucky's having an affair with Maxie Jones."

Jason shook his head as she took another shot. He couldn't believe that Lucky cheated on her, with Maxie no less. Any guy would be lucky to have Elizabeth as his wife. She was so caring and supportive.

He looked at her, trying so hard not look up and down her body in a ravaging way. Her sleeveless shirt didn't help as the some of the buttons were loose. He shifted in his seat, trying to erase the images of what he wanted to do to her.

_Help me now, tell me how_  
How can this last forever  
Forever

He had no idea why he was having these dirty thoughts about Elizabeth. They had been friends for seven years and she was married. There was no way she was feeling the same thing he was feeling at this moment.

"I'm sorry. I know how bad that hurts."

"I don't think you possibly could."

"Sam's sleeping with Ric."

She gave him a sympathetic look and took his hand in hers. He gave her a small smile, loving the feeling he was getting when she touched him. Her fingers felt like fire on his skin, but in a good way.

"Wow, Sam and Ric? You win."

Jason realized that Ric was Elizabeth's ex-husband. He mentally kicked himself for bringing it up, hoping that he wasn't hurting Elizabeth.

"Look, I'm sorry for saying it like that. I know Ric was your ex husband-"

"Its okay, its okay. I don't have any illusions. I loved Ric, but I guess I never really knew him. And the same goes for Lucky. What's wrong with me?"

Jason looked at Elizabeth in surprise. She couldn't think that Lucky and Maxie were her fault.

"What do you mean? You didn't push Lucky into bed with Maxie."

"And you didn't...well you pushed Sam away, but you didn't know she was going to run to Ric."

"Well, Carly actually warned me."

Elizabeth gave him a small smile.

"That's funny because Carly is the one who told me Lucky's sleeping with Maxie."

He grinned as he took a swig of tequila.

"Carly said when I broke up with Sam it- it proved every bad thing Sam ever thought about herself was true. I honestly thought I was protecting her, that I had to, but all I did was hurt her. And now she found a way to hurt herself more. So I came home and I started drinking, to try to relax and forget, but so far it hasn't worked."

He looked up from his bottle to see Elizabeth intently staring at him. He couldn't look away; his gaze was locked on her. He couldn't look away even if he wanted to.

"There's nothing worse than seeing the person you love having sex with someone else. I just realized I did that to you."

Jason stood up to put some distance between himself and Elizabeth, knowing that if he kept feeling and thinking about Elizabeth, something was bound to happen that she might regret. Unfortunately she followed him over to the winder overlooking the balcony.

He took another drink from his tequila bottle, noticing that it was almost gone. He could feel Elizabeth's presence behind him, inches away from his shoulders. He tried to shrug off the feeling of her being close from him, but it was impossible to stop now.

"Do you remember the night at Jakes when I thought Lucky was dead and that I was so tired of missing him, I just-I just wanted to trash myself? And then you wouldn't let me. You listened without judging and ever since that night, I've felt a special connection with you. Sometimes I thought there could be more than a connection... then I slept with Zander."

Of course he remembered the night at Jake's, he could never forget it. He watched the man handle Elizabeth, even though she didn't want to be handled. Anger shook through him and a pang of jealousy rang out. He attacked the man, forcing him off of Elizabeth and out of Jake's.

Jason turned around to look at Elizabeth. Her hair was in a bun, showing off her neck. He could imagine placing featherlike kisses and hearing the moans she would give him.

_I ignored the signs, opened every door  
But I couldn't find what I searched for_

God why was he feeling this way about one of his best friends?

"That was a long time ago."

"Yeah, but I'm not sorry because that night gave me my little boy."

He stepped closer to her, knowing that if he didn't say it now, he would never be able to say it again.

"You know, I've always liked how you do that. How you look back with no regrets."

"Well, when you first met me, all I did was look back and think of the what-ifs, but then you taught me how to live in the present and that gave me hope for the future. It was an amazing gift, Jason. I don't think you ever knew just how much I fell in love with you. And then you left."

Jason was shocked at her words. He didn't know that she had loved him so much all those years ago. He carefully watched her as she laid her heart out in front of him, something that friends shouldn't do. He knew that if she kept talking like this, he wouldn't be able to restrain himself any longer.

"But I came back."

"Yeah, but everything was different. Life has a funny way of coming between us."

He nodded his head, knowing all about timing. He took another step closer to her as she walked away from him.

"We're still friends."

"Yeah, friends. When I was leaving my house tonight, I didn't know where I was going to go. I just ended up on your doorstep. I guess it's my instinct to find you when everything's falling apart. Tomorrow I'll be strong. Tomorrow, I'm gonna figure out what to do."

_I try to fight but I turn and run  
Every move I make is the wrong one_

That was it. The way she looked so vulnerable in that moment, he knew there was no one more beautiful than Elizabeth. He knew how he wanted to end the night; he was praying that she felt the same. She was walking away from him, but he surprised himself by reaching out and gently tugging her wrist.

_You patiently wait for my next mistake  
I know it won't be much longer_

She looked up at in surprise as he pulled her closer to him.

"I know it's tough. Just try and not think about it."

His hand traveled up her arm, leaving heat underneath each touch. He reached her cheek and tenderly held it in his hand. She unknowingly moved her face into his hand and closed her eyes.

_You waited 'til I sobered_  
You came when you knew that the game was over  
I didn't even want to be found

"I don't want to think about anything tonight. I just want to be here right in this moment, safe…with you."

_But you chased me down and broke in just when  
I was done believing_

She opened her eyes to see his bright blue eyes hooded with desire. It scared her at first, not because she was afraid of him, but afraid of feeling what she was feeling for him, feeling something that was more than what friends should.

_Spun me 'round so close now  
I can feel you breathing_

Jason pulled the hair tie out of her hair and let her hair cascade past her shoulders. He pulled her closer to him, watching her eyes change from broken to something that he couldn't quite place.

_Sunlight burns inside and  
I feel so alive and_

He looked at her lips right before they collided. He gently ran his tongue along her upper lip, begging for entrance and she generously obliged. Their tongues fought for dominance as he unbuttoned her top and pulled it off of her.

_Help me now, tell me how  
How can this last forever_

Jason felt her hands under his shirt, moving over his chest and abs. he reveled in the touch, never knowing how he could have gone one without this. She ran her hands over his back. He moaned into her mouth and he could feel her smiled. She tugged at his shirt.

He broke off the kiss for a mere second so she could pull his shirt off of him. He went back in for more, not caring that he was being impatient or rough, right now he needed her.

He slowly lowered Elizabeth to the floor, knowing that their first time shouldn't be on the floor, but he couldn't wait any longer.

He lowered himself down onto her, carefully making sure not of his weight was on her. He pulled away to look into her eyes for confirmation.

She gave him a grin and pulled his head back down to hers. He eagerly kissed her, like a man that was in the desert without water. He couldn't get enough of her. Their bodies became one as they lost each other in the pain of losing someone they loved and healing each other.

He had moved them to the couch after they were done. He had wrapped a blanket around Elizabeth and waited until she fell asleep. He got up and grabbed his boxers and jeans. He pulled them on and grabbed a bottle of water, knowing that he was going to be hung over the next day.

_You gave me so much more  
Than I could ever ask for_

Jason walked back over to the couch and leaned down to place a light kiss on Elizabeth's temple. He felt her stir and she smiled as she realized who was kissing her. He smiled as he walked around the couch and pulled a clean t shirt on.

She sat up so he could sit beside her. Once he was settled she moved closer to him. He offered her a bottle of water and she gratefully took it. He ran a hand through her hair as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Are you ok?"

She turned to look at him. He continued to run a hand through her hair. He couldn't help himself; he could finally touch her and not worry about anyone else getting in the way. She placed on of her hands on his knee and the other on his forearm.

"You know, all the pain and heartbreak, the one thing I know that will be facing me seems so far away."

He stared at her and smiled, knowing the happiness that he was currently feeling was because of her.

"You're so beautiful, you always were. I just... I never expected this."

_But I turned and followed  
A road the left me hollow_

Elizabeth's cheeks grew red at his compliment and he grinned, satisfied that he could make her blush.

"Well neither did I and I'm not sorry."

"No regrets. Is that the lesson?"

Jason pulled Elizabeth closer to him, her legs draped over his knees. His arm grazed hers as he looked into her eyes.

"I want you to know that this is the only night we ever spend together."

Elizabeth watched for a change in Jason's eyes, but all she saw was understanding. Shouldn't he be mad at her for taking advantage of him? She pulled away from him and pulled her bra and pink cami back on. He offered her his smallest pair of sweatpants to wear.

"There was a time when I let myself consider a future with you, or at least I would wonder at what it would be like. Then all that ended the moment I had Cameron."

_And still you waited for me to come back home  
You brought me home..._

He opened his arms and she leaned into him. His arms came around her and wrapped around her stomach. She picked up one of his hands and entwined their fingers. She could feel his hot breath on her ear.

"I can't say I blame you. You want your son to be safe."

"But the funny thing is, I thought he was. My little boy's world is about to be ripped apart and thank God he won't understand why."

"He's going to be okay. He's got you. You're such a great mother."

He could feel her smile, even though he wasn't looking at her. He lightly kissed the back of her neck and continued to hold her. He watched as she held their hands together, enjoying the closeness.

_You chased me down and broke in just when  
I was done believing_

"I just wish-wish that he could get to know you better, you know, because you're so good with kids and you're so patient, but the world you live in, I just cant take that chance."

"I totally understand."

"Well, I'll always be grateful that when I had no place else to go, you rescued me."

"And I'm really glad you found me."

She turned around to face him, sadness in her eyes. He touched her cheek, wanting to make it go away and make her happy again.

"I should probably go."

"Only if you want to."

She smiled and ran a hand through his short, spiky hair, loving how soft it was.

"Cameron is staying at my Grams tonight and I can't go back there because I promised her that I'd work things out with Lucky. And Lucky and Maxie are probably still in my bed, so I'm pretty sure I'm not going to go home. But with ten dollars in my wallet and two maxed out credit cards, and even if I could find a hotel with power, I think I'm just going to go stay at the on-call room at the hospital and pray that nobody asks questions."

He smiled as he watched her ramble, something that should be annoying, but he oddly found it irresistibly cute.

"Or you could just stay here with me."

Jason pulled Elizabeth closer to him, wanting to feel her lips one last time if this was it. She leaned into him and kissed him with everything she had. he could feel her pulled at his shirt again, knowing that they were heading for round two.

He heard a creak outside his door and sat up fast. He gently moved Elizabeth out of his way and ran to the door, picking up his gun.

He pulled open the door and pointed the gun outside. There was nothing there, he was probably just paranoid. Jason sighed as he closed the door behind him. He sat the gun back on the desk. Elizabeth got up and walked over to him.

"Are you-are you going to put that away?"

"Power outage means increased security risks. I can put it somewhere else if it makes you uncomfortable."

She shakily laughed as she ran both hands through her hair.

"No, no it's okay. No my mommy gene just kicked in for a second. I know the rules which is why I'm surprised you don't have a guard at your door."

"Guards, you know, just having a guard is like having to go to a meeting in a suit. It's just a way of doing business. Most of the time I just send the guys home at night. I wouldn't even keep them around if I didn't have to keep up appearances. Especially now."

"Now that Sam's gone?"

"I mean, who knows if guards really do any good. I keep them around to tell myself that everybody around me is safe, but, you know, I've learned over and over and that there are no guarantees. That's why you, or anyone else around me, would ever be safe."

He moved away from her and sat back down on the couch. She followed him and sat cross-legged next to him. He didn't look at her until she finally touched his arm.

"I'm not looking for any promises or commitments from you Jason. I didn't even intend on sleeping with you tonight. It's just that I didn't know what to do and I showed up on your doorstep. You always have this way of just cutting through all the clutter and help me see things as they are."

He smiled as he took her hand in his and scooted closer to her, wrapping an arm around her small frame.

_Spun me 'round so close now  
I can feel you breathing_

"You'd do the same for me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean with you I can- I can just be honest and not have to worry about your agenda. You're-you're pretty straight forward."

"Unlike Carly?"

"I know a lot of people don't get Carly-"

"But she always has your back, unlike me."

"No, that's not true. I mean, you've come through for me every single time. I've needed you especially recently. You and Carly are alike that way. Difference is that Carly thinks she knows how to run my life better than I do. You know, maybe at this point, she's right. I don't know."

Elizabeth sat up so she could look Jason in the eye.

"Uh, no she's not."

He grinned as he saw a glimpse of the young, feisty Lizzie Webber. He took a breath to admit what he was feeling at the moment, knowing how cheesy it's going to sound, but not really caring because it was Elizabeth and she never judged him.

"What-what I'm trying to say is I appreciate you in my life. I always have. And it's just, you know, bothered me that I wasn't able to express it because I didn't know how to. Then, you know, and-and especially since the life I chose, the commitments I made, were so completely opposite of what everything you wanted and who you are."

She shook her head as she pulled his head closer to hers. Their foreheads touched and their breathing became labored because of how close they were.

_Sunlight burns inside and  
I feel so alive and_

"No, you're wrong. You and your life, and the way you live it, have always been a temptation for me."

He looked into her eyes, realizing all the moments he had missed with her. He knew that tonight was the only night they could ever be together and knew he had to make the most of it. Jason pulled her into his arms and carried Elizabeth up to his bedroom. He had to make it last forever.

_Help me now, tell me how_  
How can this last forever  
Forever


	9. Mystery of You

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or lyrics, just the storyline.** _

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_  


* * *

**Chapter 9**

_**Mystery of You** _

"I should go."

"Do you have to?"

Carly smiled as Johnny pulled her back to bed.

"Yes, I need to go be with Josslyn."

Johnny gave a light kiss on the lips and released her. She caressed his cheek and got dressed.

She heard him chuckle at her naked form and grinned like a love struck teenager.

"When can I see you again?"

Carly turned around to face him.

_You always said we'd meet again  
You always said you'd be here_

"Tomorrow."

"Can I take you to lunch?"

Johnny grinned at Carly's momentarily surprised face.

"What, are you afraid of what everyone will think?"

Carly gave him a look as he sat up.

"No, I'm not afraid. I'll take you up on that offer. Meet me at the Metro Court at noon tomorrow, unless you're chicken."

Johnny scoffed as Carly got up to leave.

"I'm the one that made the offer."

Carly grinned as she closed the door behind her and left to go home. She had a smile on her face the whole drive home until she saw red and blue lights reflecting off the trees in her driveway.

_You touch the deepest part of me_  
The places I could not save  
Just tell me why I'm so dark inside __  


She immediately started to panic as she jumped out of the car and ran up to her door. There were police cars everywhere and all she could think of was Josslyn.

_Somewhere, I will find_  
All the pieces torn apart, you just left behind  
In your mystery

Carly pushed the police officers out of the way until one finally stopped her.

"Get off of me!"

"Excuse me miss-"

"Where is my daughter?"

"Ma'am-"

"Don't ma'am me; tell me where my daughter is!"

"Carly!"

Carly spun around to see Jason behind her with Josslyn in his arms.

"Oh, thank God Jason."

She rushed over and pulled her daughter into her arms. She checked her to make sure she was okay.

"Jason, why are the police here?"

"Carly, something happened."

"What happened Jason?"

Jason sighed as he led Carly over to a secluded corner.

"Shawn's dead."

Carly's heart skipped a beat and her chest constricted, as if she couldn't breathe. Jason wrapped an arm around her as she pulled her free hand up to her face.

"What…how…wait…no…"

"I'm so sorry Carly."

"How…?"

"He was at the ware-"

"Why was he at the warehouse? I thought he quit working for Sonny!"

"He did, but then he came back. He was checking the perimeter with Max-"

"Is Max okay?"

Jason shook his head and that brought Carly to tears.

"They were both shot outside of the warehouse."

"Who shot them?"

"We don't know."

Carly shook her head at the news. She hadn't seen Shawn in awhile, not since…

"Oh my God…I never told him…"

"Told who Carly?"

"It's nothing."

"Carly."

She looked up at her best friend, his eyes patiently waiting for her to continue.

"Shawn, he was at Johnny's a few weeks ago, looking for me…and he told me-he told me how he felt about me…and I didn't take him seriously…I couldn't feel the same way about him…"

_Somewhere I will see_  
All you taken from me  
All you kept deep inside __  


"Carly, Shawn's death is not your fault."

"Yes it is! If I had told him that I liked him, he wouldn't have gone to Sonny looking for a job because he felt like he had nothing to live for."

"Carly, there's no way you could have known what he would have done."

"I should have known."

"You can't dwell on the past, Carly. You can't feel guilty for his death."

Carly wiped at her eyes and looked down at Josslyn.

"I should go put her to bed. Can you get them to leave?"

Jason gave her a small nod and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'll be back first thing in the morning."

"Okay."

Carly carried Josslyn up to room and watched her until she fell asleep. Carly soon left to go to bed, crying herself to sleep.

* * *

Elizabeth walked into Kelly's for breakfast with Cameron and Aiden in tow. Once she got them settled, she went up to the counter to order. She noticed that there was someone new behind the counter.

_In the mystery of you!  
The mystery of you!_

"Are you new here?"

The teenager nodded as he pulled out his small notebook.

"Yeah, I'm TJ Ashford."

"I remember when I worked here; I was about your age. I'm Elizabeth Webber."

"What can I get you Miss Webber?"

"Uh, can I have two orders of chocolate chip pancakes and a coffee?"

"Two?"

Elizabeth smiled as she pointed to her boys behind her.

"Cameron loves his pancakes. I can never get him to eat anything else."

TJ smiled as he wrote down her order.

"You should tell him the waffles are good here too. There's whipped cream on top."

"Maybe I will tell him that. Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

Elizabeth smiled as she went back to her table. She fed Aiden some Goldfish until TJ came by with their order.

"One order of chocolate chip pancakes and one coffee."

TJ set the plate of pancakes in front of Elizabeth along with her coffee. Cameron expectantly waited for his pancakes, but TJ was empty handed.

"Where are my pancakes?"

"Sorry kid. We're all out of chocolate chip pancakes. How about waffles instead?"

Cameron pouted for a second until his mother gave him a look.

"Hey, I'll even add whipped cream on top, little man."

Cameron's eyes lit up and he eagerly nodded his head.

"Alright, waffles with extra whipped cream on top coming right up."

* * *

"Matt, there's something fishy going on with the Devious Doctor."

Matt sighed as he walked into the nurse's station picking up two charts on the way with Spinelli right behind him.

"Spinelli, what are you babbling about now?"

"The Jackal thinks that the Mysterious Aussie has something to do with the Evil Lisa Niles' death."

"Now you're just spouting nonsense, not that that's unusual for you."

"Hear me out, he just so happens to show up in time to save the Maternal One, but doesn't reveal his secret identity till now?"

Matt thought about Spinelli, which for once actually made sense.

"He would do that-"

"Only if he had something to hide."

Matt sighed as he knew Spinelli wouldn't let this rest until he found the actual killer of Lisa Niles and proved Maxie's innocence.

"I knew that something was off with that guy."

"The Jackal is going to go apply his 'Assassin of the Internet' qualities to dig up the evil secrets of the Devious Doctor."

Matt shook his head as he watched Spinelli run off towards the elevators.

* * *

Jason drove back to his penthouse after telling Carly the news. He hadn't expected her to take it this hard. He didn't know how close Shawn and Carly really were.

He sighed as the elevator doors opened and he walked into his penthouse. It was silent, so Sam was either asleep or out. Jason checked their bedroom, but she was nowhere to be found.

Jason grabbed a bottle of whiskey and sat down on the couch. Sonny was on his back about finding who killed Shawn and Max. Jason had a feeling that it was the Zacchara's, but he didn't know which one.

Carly would defend Johnny because she's sleeping with the enemy. Jason had warned her about the repercussions of sleeping with Johnny, but he knew it was useless when it came to telling Carly what to do.

Jason sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and went to take a drink from the whiskey bottle, then realized it was eight o'clock in the morning. He pulled out his phone to find out where his wife was.

* * *

"I shouldn't be telling you all of this."

"Maybe it's easier to talk to a stranger."

Sam dabbed at her moist eyes with a tissue. She was spilling all of her secrets to a man that Jason had asked her to stay away from. She knew it was wrong, but talking to John made things oddly easier.

"Yeah, but you're going up against my husband's partner. Isn't that a conflict of interests?"

"Leave me being a police officer out of it. I'm here to talk to as a friend, as well as listen."

Sam smiled as she sat down on the couch. John stood in front of her, wary of getting to close to her.

"My baby could be Franco's."

"But it could be Jason's."

"Yes, it could turn out to be Jason's baby, but I still have to deal with the problem of Franco being Jason's twin brother."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"No, he can never find out about this."

John gave her a sympathetic look, but he knew how badly things could end for Sam if she didn't tell Jason the truth. Sam felt her phone vibrate in her jacket pocket, and pulled it out to see Jason calling her. She immediately hit ignore, knowing she couldn't have a civil conversation with him now.

Jason sighed as he heard Sam's voicemail start. He got up to go find something to eat. Unfortunately, the refrigerator was bare. He groaned as he realized he had to go out and get breakfast. He grabbed his leather jacket and headed out for Kelly's.

* * *

"Alright Cameron, it's time to go."

"Mama, I'm not done yet."

"Cam, you're going to be late for school, and then Mommy's going to be late for work."

Cameron refused to answer her as he continued to pick at his waffles. Elizabeth sighed as she was trying to pull Aiden's jacket on while pulling hers on and getting Cameron ready to leave. Being a single mother of two was tough and she thought she had finally gotten the hang of it.

"Ms. Webber, would you like some help?"

Elizabeth turned around to see TJ helping her into her jacket. She gratefully smiled as TJ squatted down to Cameron's level.

"Hey, Cameron, my name's TJ."

Cameron nodded as he continued to pick at his waffles.

"What do you say if you finish up your waffles and get to school on time, maybe after school we can go to the park and we can play basketball, if it's okay with your mom?"

"I don't know how to play basketball."

"Don't worry kid, I'll teach you. So how 'bout it?"

Cameron looked between TJ and his mother.

"Can I Mom?"

Elizabeth sighed as she was literally watching her eldest son grow up in front of her eyes.

"Okay, but only if you finish your homework beforehand and get home before dinner."

"Thanks Mama!"

Cameron jumped off his chair and leapt into his mother's arms, giving her a hug. She smiled as she hugged him back. He raced out of the restaurant.

"You didn't have to do that."

TJ smiled as he handed Elizabeth Aiden's bag.

"Nah, it's cool. I actually like the little kid."

"I could pay you or something-"

TJ waved his wand at the suggestion.

"If I keep getting into trouble, Shawn's going to send me to military school, so I need to steer clear of it."

Elizabeth grinned as she acted the same way when she was a teenager. It seemed like a different life now.

"Well, I still appreciate you helping out."

"It's no problem, really. I get out of work early, so it's a win-win."

Elizabeth smiled as she said goodbye with Aiden in her arms. She went to open the door, but someone already did.

Jason stood in front of her with Cameron next to him. He still looked as good as ever, with his trademark black shirt, leather jacket and jeans. She looked up into his eyes, those eyes that could see right through her bullshit and into her heart and soul.

_It's obvious you understand the blood that on my hands_  
I'm paralyzed, I can't escape __  


"Sorry, I uh, saw him taking off and didn't want to worry you."

"Thanks."

Jason smiled as he ruffled Cameron's hair and held the door open for Elizabeth.

"How have you been?"

"Good, I had to go into the hospital today for a post check up, but other than that I'm fine."

"How's Sam?"

Jason sighed and Elizabeth could tell something was wrong.

"I'll let you know when I see her."

"What do you mean?"

"I just got home this morning and she was no where to be found."

Elizabeth gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I'm sure she's fine."

"Yeah, I hope so. I wanted to talk to her about something but…"

_Until I see your face_  
You're all I know __  


Jason trailed off, being distracted by Elizabeth. She was wearing a coat, but he could see her dark red scrubs underneath. For some reason, he always found her sexy in scrubs, it always turned him on. He took a breath and looked away from her, not wanting to give himself away.

"I heard about you getting suspended."

Elizabeth nervously laughed and adjusted Aiden on her hip.

"Yeah, well, Maxie can never resist torturing me."

"What happened?"

"I was trying to help out Lucky with his drug problem."

Jason nodded his head. He already knew the complicated relationship of Lucky and Elizabeth, he had often come between it.

"I know I shouldn't have done it, but it's Lucky so…"

"I understand."

"I should get to work, I'm already late."

"Okay, maybe I'll see you there?"

"Yeah, maybe."

Jason waved to Cameron and watched as Elizabeth walked away. It was nice seeing her again and having their conversations like they used to. Since Jake's death, it seemed like they walked around eggshells each other.

He walked into Kelly's to grab breakfast. He stopped short once he saw TJ behind the counter. Jason carefully watched him. He didn't seem like he knew about Shawn, and Jason didn't want to be the one to tell him.

Jason went to the counter, waiting for TJ to make his rounds. He looked through the menu when he heard his name being called. He turned around to see Carly rushing over to him.

Carly stopped short as well once she saw TJ. Jason shook his head at her, but her mind was already made up.

"TJ?"

"Miss Jacks?"

Carly smiled when he used her last name, not knowing that her divorce was almost finalized.

"Could I talk to you for a minute?

TJ nodded his head and put the towel he wiping a table with down on the counter. Jason intently watched them as Carly guided him to a table.

Carly held TJ's hand the entire time as she tried to hold back the tears. Jason watched TJ, who show no emotion at first, then shook his head. A tear slid down his face for the death of another father figure. Carly grasped his hand tighter, but TJ pulled it away. He stood up and said something, but Jason couldn't make out what he said.

TJ left Kelly's, leaving a sobbing Carly behind him. She looked at Jason, who then followed TJ.

"TJ!"

He turned around and didn't recognize Jason.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Jason Morgan. I was a friend of Shawn's."

Recognition hit TJ's face and he looked angry.

"Shawn went to work for Sonny Corinthos. You work with Sonny, right?"

Jason hesitated before he answered, knowing where this conversation was going to go.

"Sonny is my partner."

TJ's breath became labored as he tried to gather his anger.

"Then he's the reason Shawn is dead."

"TJ, Shawn was a good man, and died like a good man."

"Who killed him?"

"We don't know-"

"Then I have nothing to say to you. Sonny will pay for what he did."

Jason watched as the boy's eyes clouded over with numbness. Seeing TJ act like this made Jason think of the time when he woke up from his first accident, not knowing who he was.

He walked right by Jason, not even bothering to look him in the eye as tears slid down his face. Jason groaned as he went back to his car. His appetite was now gone.

* * *

Elizabeth walked into the nurse's station, checking charts. She looked up to see Matt walking towards her.

"Hey, Dr. Hunter."

Matt grinned as Elizabeth handed him his first patient's chart of the day.

"Nurse Webber, it's good to see you back in scrubs."

Elizabeth winked at him as she left to go check on a patient.

"Starr Manning?"

Elizabeth saw the young woman sitting on a bed, waiting for her check up.

"Hi, my name is Elizabeth Webber and I'm going to be your nurse today. So, how have you been feeling?"

Starr rolled her eyes as Elizabeth checked her pulse.

"If living with the knowledge of who killed your boyfriend and daughter fine, then yes, I'm fine."

Elizabeth looked at her, horrified at what she said.

"I'm so sorry to hear about that. I know how that feels."

"How could you possibly know how I'm feeling?"

Elizabeth knew how exactly how Starr was feeling.

"My son died last year in a hit-and-run."

Starr grew silent and she was now slightly embarrassed.

"Do you know who did it?"

"His adopted grandfather."

"I'm sorry."

Starr watched Elizabeth move around the room.

"Does the pain ever go away?"

Elizabeth stopped what she was doing to sit down next to Starr.

"I don't think it will ever go away, but it does seem to hurt less."

"I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I'm all alone here."

"Where are your parents?"

"Back in Llanview, Pennsylvania. I wanted to stay here for the trial of my boyfriend and daughter's killer."

"Who is it?"

"Sonny Corinthos."

* * *

Jason walked into the hospital to check in for his post check up. He went up to the nurse's station, but Elizabeth was nowhere to be found.

"Jason, what are you doing here?"

He turned around to see Matt standing behind him.

"Oh, I'm here for a check up."

Matt nodded his head as he walked into the nurse's station.

"Alright, well, it looks like I have you since Patrick…"

Jason looked away, knowing how uncomfortable it must be.

"Why don't you come back here with me?"

Matt led him to a small room.

"I'll be back in a sec."

Jason nodded as Matt closed the door behind him. He pulled out his phone and tried to call Sam again, but it went directly to voicemail again.

He slammed the phone down on the bed, furious that Sam kept refusing to answer his calls.

Matt came back a few minutes later. He ran a few tests and waited for the results.

"Well, Jason, it looks like your brain is functioning normally and the protocol was successful."

"Is it possible for me to have these weird memories?"

"Define weird memories."

"Well, I woke up one night and felt like…I don't know, this sounds stupid."

Matt looked at him to continue.

"Okay, I feel like I've been in a trance for the past four years."

"Did you have any accidents or surgeries around that time?"

"No, not that I'm aware of."

"It might just be a side effect of the protocol. If it doesn't wear off in a week or so, come back here and we can run some more tests."

Jason nodded as Matt left the room. He followed him past another room where he heard a girl crying. Jason stopped to look inside.

_Somewhere, I will find_  
All the pieces torn apart, you just left behind  
In your mystery __  


He saw Elizabeth comforting a young woman. Jason was entranced by how Elizabeth cared for the woman, giving her encouraging words and consoling her. He was frozen to the spot; he couldn't tear his eyes away. Suddenly, Elizabeth let go of the woman and went to get up. She saw Jason outside the room and closed the door behind her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude."

"No it's okay, I was finishing up anyways."

Jason nodded as they walked back to the nurse's station.

"She just needed someone to talk to."

"What was wrong?"

"She had just lost her boyfriend and young daughter in a hit-and-run."

"Wait, was that Starr Manning?"

Elizabeth looked surprised at Jason as she looked through another patient's chart as he leaned against the counter.

"How do you know her?"

"Oh, um, Sonny is being accused of being the cause of the accident she was in."

"Yeah, she told me that. Did he do it?"

Jason looked away, then back at Elizabeth.

"I know, I know. You're not allowed to discuss your business with me."

Jason gave her a sympathetic smile. She smiled back as he continued to stand there.

"How's Cam?"

Elizabeth gave him a look, and he just shrugged his shoulders.

"He's doing fine. He's going to be nine next month."

"Nine? Already?"

Elizabeth laughed at Jason's surprised expression.

"Yeah, I feel the same way. It seems like it was just yesterday that he was born."

"Does he know what he wants yet?"

"He's gotten obsessed with Spiderman."

"Spiderman?"

Elizabeth laughed at Jason's knowledge of superheroes, or lack thereof.

"You know, the boy who was bitten by a radioactive spider that gave him spiderlike abilities?"

Jason shook his head, having no idea what she was talking about.

"Come on, I'm sure Michael or Morgan must have mentioned him once."

"No, they weren't really interested in superheroes."

"Well, Cameron is. I can't get him to stop watching Batman in the mornings before school."

"Now I do know who Batman is."

"Everyone does, silly."

Jason smiled at their easy conversation. Elizabeth gave a cheeky smile back. He stared her, easily slipping back into his memories of when they were together. He just couldn't seem to get her out of his head. Her blue eyes were sparkling, showing that she was happy about something. Her plump red lips curved up into a smiled. Her curly hair was down today, flowing past her shoulders. He couldn't stop staring at her. He knew he shouldn't, but she had this sort of magnetic pull towards him, always making him gravitate towards her. She was wearing her dark red scrubs, and that did it for him.

_Somewhere I will see_  
All you taken from me  
All you kept deep inside

"I should, um, I should go. Sam's probably waiting for me."

"Okay, well, maybe I'll see you at Kelly's."

"Count on it."

She smiled as he waved before he got on the elevator.

* * *

Spinelli was furiously typing on the computer, knowing how close he was to the identity of Shawn and Max's killer. The computer went blank once Spinelli clicked on a file.

"No!"

Spinelli pressed more keys, but nothing happened. Suddenly, the power went out in Maxie's apartment.

Spinelli looked around, but he noticed that power was on across the street. It was dark out and he had a hard time trying to find a flashlight.

He heard a knock on the door and froze. It shouldn't be Maxie or Matt because they both have keys.

Spinelli slowly walked to the door, and looked through the peephole. Nobody was outside the door. He hesitated before he opened the door, but his curiousness won out, a fatal mistake.

He walked down the dimly lit hallway, but he couldn't see anyone. He turned around to walk back inside and ran into something solid.

Spinelli looked up at the figure, but the figure grabbed him. Spinelli tried to break free, but the figure's hold was fiercely strong.

"Sorry, computer nerd, you got too close to my secret."

Spinelli gasped in fear as he recognized the voice. He went to say something, but the figure's fingers wrapped around his throat and slowly drained the breath out of him until he was dead.

* * *

Elizabeth picks the boys up from daycare and remembers TJ's offer. She drives to the park, and walks towards the basketball courts with Cameron and Aiden in tow.

She can recognize TJ sitting against the fence. She slowly walks up to him to realize that he had been crying.

"TJ?"

He looked up and quickly wiped at his face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bad day. Hey Cameron."

"Hi, TJ. Can we play basketball?"

"Sure kid."

Cameron raced off to the court with TJ's ball in his hands.

"Thanks again for watching him."

"Miss Webber, it's really not a problem."

Elizabeth smiled at how polite the teenager was being. She could tell though that something was really bothering him.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, well, I'm making dinner around six, so if you could have Cameron home by then. And you're welcome to stay, I'm making chicken parmesan."

"That sounds nice, Miss Webber. I'll make sure Cameron is home by six."

"Thank you TJ. And I'm here if you want to talk. No judging, just listening."

TJ nodded his head as Elizabeth waved to Cameron and walked back to her car with Aiden.

Olivia was livid with Sonny for not taking her seriously about Johnny having something on Steve. She couldn't believe she was about to do this, but she knocked on his door anyways, knowing that he could find something on Johnny.

"Spinelli? It's Olivia Falconeri."

There was no answer. She pushed on the door, and it was open. Her instincts were telling her to walk away, but something was pushing her to walk in. she opened the door and screamed.

Lying on the floor was a strangled Spinelli. Olivia looked up to see a looming figure in front of her and felt cold fingers on her throat. She tried to fight off her attacker, but the attacker was much stronger than her. She closed her eyes as the last ounce of life left her.

_In the mystery of you!  
The mystery of you!_

* * *

"Did Jason come in for his appointment today?"

Sam was nervous, and the nurse could tell.

"Yes, he left about twenty minutes ago."

"Thank you."

Sam knew that he must be furious at her for not answering her calls, but she couldn't tell him about John. She left for the elevator, not watching where she was going and ran into Ewen.

_You're all I know_  
You're all I know __  


"Dr. Keenan, I'm so sorry-I just-I"

_Don't go  
Don't go_

Ewen reassuringly touched her arm, noticing right away that something was wrong.

"Sam, are you okay?"

Sam shook her head as Ewen led her to a private room.

"What's wrong?"

"Jason's been calling me all day and I've been avoiding him."

"Why?"

"Because I know something that's going to tear him apart."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, and I can't tell anyone."

Sam burst out in tears as Ewen hugged her, grateful for him being there for her. Jason had been distant lately and not so comforting. She felt safe in his arms because Jason was angry at her.

* * *

_Somewhere, I will find_  
All the pieces torn apart, you filled me deep inside  
The mystery of you __  


Elizabeth repeatedly knocked on his door, praying that he would answer. She had Aiden in a stroller behind her and prayed that she would be back home before TJ and Cameron got there.

"Elizabeth, what are you doing here?"

"Jason, Spinelli's dead."

_Somewhere_  
Somewhere  
The mysteries of you  
Somewhere


	10. Lost

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or lyrics, just the storyline.** _

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_  


* * *

**Chapter 10**

_**Lost** _

_~February 2007~_

Elizabeth pulled away from the masked attacker, not that she couldn't move far. They were trapped in an elevator. She looked in horror as the man pulled off his mask as he was assuring her. Suddenly, she recognized his voice. It was Jason. He had carried her out of the lobby and brought her to the elevator. He saved her.

"Jason?"

"It's okay."

She pulled him close, grateful that he was there with her.

Jason pulled back to check her face for any marks of injuries, and then quickly scanned her body. He stopped when he reached her stomach, praying that her baby was okay.

They had talked for awhile. He constantly reassured that they were going to be okay and that help was on the way. She was grateful that of all the people to be trapped with in an elevator, it was Jason Morgan.

He was always so calm and collected in a crisis. They talked about the other inhabitants of the lobby, praying that each and every one was okay. Then he started to blame himself for the lobby blowing up. She was surprised at first, but then remembered that Jason assumed the responsibility of everyone's safety. She had to practically yell at him to make him understand that none of it was his fault. On the contrary, if he hadn't been there, they could all be dead right now. He gave her a small smile, and she went to return it. She stopped and looked at him in shock for a moment and reached for her stomach to caress it.

"Are you okay?"

"The baby's kicking. Give me your hand."

Elizabeth reached out for his hand and placed it on top of her stomach. She carefully watched as his mouth turned up in an elated smile and his eyes sparkled with wonder and joy. She had never seen him like this, so surprised and happy.

"It thinks you're ridiculous too."

Jason chuckled as he kept his hand on her stomach, quite aware of the fact that her hand was still gripping his.

"Your baby thinks I'm ridiculous?"

He watched her quickly fade from happiness to sadness. He wanted to take back whatever he said to make her upset. He hated seeing Elizabeth upset. He removed his hand from her stomach and placed it on her shoulder. She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. He thought that she was just shocked about the lobby exploding, but he would have never predicted what she said next.

"You're the reason this baby is alive. Jason, Lucky's not the father of this baby... you are."

Jason quickly moved his hand away from her shoulder, as if it burned him. He stared at her, shocked to his core.

"I'm your baby's father?"

"Yes."

Tears were flowing down Elizabeth's cheeks, and Jason couldn't stop his own eyes from tearing up.

"Elizabeth, you've been traumatized...I don't think you know what you're saying-"

"This is not a mistake. I've known since I got the results back from the paternity test. Jason this is your baby."

_Can I be dreaming once again?  
I'm reaching helpless I descend_

Jason took a breath of air and rubbed at his eyes, as if this was all a dream.

"Why...why didn't you tell me?"

_You're leading deeper through this maze  
I'm not afraid_

She refused to look at him and he touched her shoulder again. The embarrassment and shame on her face hurt him to see.

"Were you afraid for the baby?"

"No."

"Is it because of my work, you didn't your child in danger? What?"

"No, Jason I know you would never let anything bad happen to our child."

He was soon becoming frustrated, something that he hated with Elizabeth because he could never stay mad at her.

"Then why?"

"You weren't here, remember? You had to leave town because you'd... I got the results back and by the time I had a chance to look at them, Sonny was standing right there and asked me who the father was. And I told him it was who I expected. I meant you."

He sighed in frustration as she played the 'you weren't here' card. He hated when she used it like that. She kept rambling, nervousness etched on her face.

"Then why...why not just say it?"

"Because Sonny starting talking about Lucky being the father and I realized that he had jumped to the wrong conclusion-"

"So you just let Sonny and everyone else believe...?"

"I didn't have a plan, okay Jason? I just found out I was carrying your child. And Sonny kept saying how it was a good thing that you weren't the father because now you wouldn't be torn in two and you wouldn't have to worry about your choices harming this kid."

"So you kept it a secret from me?"

"The night I found I was going to call and leave you a message. Then I realized it was something that I needed to do face-to-face."

"Carly got to me first."

"She jumped to the same conclusion as Sonny."

"When you came to see me, were you...were you going to tell me the baby was mine?"

"I wanted to, but you already thought that Lucky was the father and you said it was for the best."

"Okay, I thought you wanted Lucky to be the father?"

Elizabeth weakly smiled as he stood up, trying to put as much distance between them. He was furious that she had kept this secret, this damn secret, from him for this long. It had taken her being stranded in an elevator together with him to come out and say it. He figured that they had never had any real alone time. Someone or something was always interrupting them.

_I'm lost in you everywhere I run  
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new_

"I didn't know what I wanted! I thought I had lost lucky forever. The man I loved, the man I married, he would never lie to me or cheat on me. He would never sleep with another woman in my own bed. I didn't know who he was anymore. You are the Jason I've always known. You were my safe place and I needed you and we made a baby together...I will never ever regret that. But this is not something either us of intended to happen and I honestly believed that for everyone's sake that it would be better if you never knew."

_I'm lost in you something I can't fight_  
I cannot escape  
I can spend my life lost in you! Lost in you!

She was starting to yell and he knew he needed to calm her down. Getting her stressed would not help her baby…their baby. He turned around to face her, trying to keep his anger in check.

"If you thought you were protecting the baby...I'm angry, but I'm not going to judge you because that's exactly what Carly and I did for Michael, but if you thought you were protecting me... from wanting to take care of you or loving my own child...that just doesn't make any sense! I thought you knew me better than that."

"I'm so sorry."

He shook his head and sat down. She hesitated before she sat down beside him, against the wall so she could face him. He braced his feet against the wall and pulled his knees up to his chest, elbows resting on his kneecaps. He warily looked over at her and she was still crying. He wanted to comfort her, he really did, but she was the cause of his anger.

"The night I found you shot in the chapel, I told you this was our baby. You were passed out, but your eyes opened for a minute, and I thought maybe you heard me."

Jason dryly chuckled as Elizabeth shared this story. He could remember her saying something to him right before he passed out. His anger was starting to ebb away, knowing that he could never stay mad at Elizabeth, he cared about her too much and their friendship for something stupid to throw it all away for her.

"I knew you said something important. When we got back to your studio, I asked you about it, remember?"

"Yeah and I should have told you. I wanted to so badly to talk to you, not just because you are the father, but because you're my friend. Because you've always been the voice of reason."

"All those conversations you started and stopped...it all makes sense now. And why you seemed so sad and why you couldn't make a clean break with Lucky, but you couldn't take him back either."

Elizabeth grimly nodded as she wiped the tears off her face. She knew the worst part was over.

"It kills me that I've had to lie to him, but he doesn't even know we've slept together. And I know I should have told him the morning after it happened, but he had just come back from his first NA meeting and he promised to turn his life around and I was so afraid it would send him back to pills...I guess I've been afraid ever since and I know that doesn't change the way I betrayed his trust or yours."

"I never should have asked you if was I was the father or not."

In true classic Jason form, he was taking the blame for everything. It was one of the very traits she fell in love with all those years ago.

"Don't make excuses for me."

"I'm not. I'm just trying to understand."

"Well, that makes two of us. Because all I've done is try to figure out what's best for this baby."

Jason looked over at her and reached out for one of her hands. He surprised her. She didn't know how quickly his anger had left him. He didn't want to waste any more time angry with the mother of his child. He couldn't.

"Maybe we could figure it out together."

Elizabeth gratefully smiled at him as he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I never had any doubt that you would be a good father. I just couldn't see how this baby would fit into your life."

Jason sighed as he tried to think of what to do next. All these newfound emotions were running through him and he had no idea what to do except think about the baby, their baby.

"We need to figure out what's right for this baby."

"But it isn't that simple. You love Sam and I love Lucky. I don't want to hurt him and I know you don't want to hurt her."

Once she had told him her baby was his, he knew it was inevitable that she would bring this up.

"It's going to be hard for Sam to hear that you're having my child, but I can't do anything to change it."

He couldn't even being to imagine the pain and betrayal Sam is going to feel when he tells her that Elizabeth is carrying his child. He knew how much Sam would want it to be her.

"Would you want to?"

_Your whispers fill these empty halls  
I'm searching for you as you call_

Jason looked at her, surprised that she asked the question. He realized that she needed the reassurance that he always gave her.

"When Carly told me Lucky was the baby's father...I gotta be honest, I felt like I lost something. And every time I saw you, especially when you started to show, I'd have this moment where I'd think that could've been my child. And now you're telling me it is. I know all the reasons this is complicated and I'm sorry for everyone that's going to be hurt, but you and I made this baby together. I can't regret that miracle. I want our child. I want it more than anything."

Fresh tears started to roll down her face. He was alarmed at first and went to wipe them away, but she smiled and shook her head. They were happy tears. He smiled back, happy that he was helping her feel better about this situation.

"How do you feel?"

Elizabeth sighed and smiled at him.

"Relieved. I didn't want you to hate me."

He shook his head and gave her a serious look.

"I don't think I could ever hate you."

_I'm bracing, chasing after you  
I need you more_

He could tell she was about to respond to his statement, but all of a sudden, the ceiling above them rumbled and he could hear rubble moving around. Thinking that the ceiling was going to collapse on him, he shielded her with his body. He wrapped her in his arms, holding tightly. Once he realized that it was safe, he regretfully let go of her.

Jason stood up and moved towards the door. He looked up to the ceiling and listened for any more movement.

"Hey, is anybody up there? There's a pregnant woman down here!"

They silently waited with baited breath for a whole minute, but no one responded.

"It's so quiet. Is that good or bad?"

"The cops knew you were in the lobby so half of Port Charles is out there searching for you."

She nodded her head as he sat back down next to her, back against the wall. They sat there in silence, thinking about their families.

"You're very reassuring to be around during a crisis, you know that? I can see why Alan thought you would have made a brilliant surgeon."

"I wonder if Alan's going to be alright."

He thought of his father, knowing that he had suffered multiple heart attacks during the hostage crisis.

"You helped him to the door when Craig released him, didn't you?"

He sullenly looked at her, seeing comfort in her eyes as she grasped his hand in hers. This time she was reassuring her.

"Yeah."

"That must have been hard on you."

"You know, it's strange, the first time I remember thinking that this is my father and now I'm...I'm gonna be a father too."

She didn't know what to say to that, so they sat in a comfortable silence. Then Jason finally broke it, surprising her just as she had did to him.

"Last fall I asked you how you'd feel about sharing my life. You know, if my business was too dangerous for you and the children...have you thought about it any more?"

"A lot."

"What did you decide?"

"I know you would do everything you could to protect me and the children. And while I'm not crazy about all the secrecy, I can now accept that's how your business works. That doesn't change how much I trust you."

She could remember four years ago when they had tried to date, but he had lied to her about Sonny's death. The betrayal she felt towards him was so severe, and it had almost ruined their friendship. They had eventually found their way back to each other. Elizabeth knew now what Jason's life meant and knew that if he wasn't telling her something, it was for her own safety. She had come to terms with it and accepted it.

"So you think you might be able to handle a life with me because I want...I want this child to have the best life that we can give it."

"Jason, you're emotional right now. You haven't had time to-"

"How can I think about anything else? This baby changes everything. I told you I would marry you. I meant it. We can make this work. Just marry me."

* * *

_~August 2007~_

He had never felt this nervous in his life. Never had his heart felt so vulnerable and so anxious. He never knew he could feel this way about anyone. As she walked closer to him, he swallowed his anxiety as she reached him.

"I'm glad you wanted to meet."

When she had called him earlier, wanting to meet with him, he knew this was his chance. It was his chance to fight for her, to tell her how he really felt.

"Listen, something happened that I want you-"

"Can I go first? Because if I don't say this right now, I probably never will."

Elizabeth can tell how nervous Jason is, something that she could never picture with him. She nods her head as he takes her hands in his, forcing her to look into his electric blue eyes, the same eyes as their son.

"I love Jake more than my own life. I wanna be his father and I wanna be with him, all the time. I just…uh, I just wanna be Jake's dad. I don't wanna lie anymore, Elizabeth. I don't want Jake to grow up believing that somebody else is his own father. I don't want him to find out years from now that the two people who loved him the most didn't tell him the truth because that can make him lose faith everything."

Elizabeth knew how much pride he was swallowing by saying this, but he had to know why she had originally asked him to meet with her.

"Jason-"

He nervously smiled as he put a finger to her lips and took a breath.

"Okay, just hold on, please? Just let me finish, okay? I know how dangerous my life is. I can't change the things I've done or the choices I've made, but I swear to you I will protect you and your kids. I just think we can make a home together, okay? I promise you I will never bring my business into our home. I'm not gonna involve you in any way because I trust you and I know you trust me. I think that we can build on that trust. I think that we could have a life together. I guess I'm just asking you if you wanna try."

Tears erupted in her eyes and that was not the reaction he was hoping for. He had pictured her smiling and squealing as she jumped into her arms and he could hold her forever.

"I was bringing the boys to see you today-"

"Elizabeth, I...I need to know what you think. I need you to answer."

"Two men stopped me in the park. I had Cameron by my side and Jake in my stroller. They said that they were going to take us and use us as leverage against you."

Just like that, Jason's whole world came crashing down on him. The hope of having a family with Elizabeth was gone in an instant, like blowing the light from a candle.

"Wait, did they hurt you or the boys?"

Elizabeth ran both of her hands through her hair as she stepped away from Jason. He followed her and touched her shoulder, forcing her to look at him.

"No, Sam showed up with a gun before they could do anything."

"Sam?"

"I don't know what I would have done otherwise. I couldn't stop thinking what if they had grabbed one of the boys?"

The fear was evident on her face and his heart was breaking at the sight. He knew he was the reason for her fear. It was one of the worst feelings in the world.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I am because what you said was beautiful about the life we could have together, but you're going to take it all back, aren't you?"

"I just thought that we might be able to make this work, but it's too late...I always was."

Both of their hearts were breaking, knowing that this was the end. the anger he was feeling for the men that harmed Elizabeth and her boys was almost uncontrollable.

"Im gonna find the men who came after you in the park."

"The police are already-"

"I'm gonna find them! But I'm gonna send guards to watch you, okay? That means that you and the boys will be protected, but that also shows that you are important to me. That's the most dangerous thing of all."

He walked away from her and placed his hands on the railing. He couldn't look at her, his heart hurt too much. He could feel her presence move behind him and felt her cheek rest against his shoulder blade. He couldn't physically turn around to comfort her. It hurt too much.

"I was a fool to think that this could work. The safest thing for you and your sons are to be out of my life. I mean I...I'd rather have you with me and try with the security guards and the cameras, but then you could come to me and tell me Jake has been kidnapped for the second time...and it was because of me. I can't take that risk. So the best way to love...my son is to let him go. And that means letting you go."

She grasped his forearm and forced him to turn around. He held both of her hands, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Sorry, I should be better at this."

She grimly smiled as she wiped away at her own tears.

"Saying goodbye?"

"Every time I've had to leave someone I love, I tell myself its best for them and that I could do it. It's just different with Jake. You know, since the day you told me he was mine I couldn't stay away, no matter how many time you told me it was what you wanted-"

"It was never what I wanted. It was always out of fear of all the bad things that could happen."

"And they did happen. And now they're going to stop. But you have to promise me that if you ever think that Jake needs me for anything, will you call me?"

Elizabeth nodded as he took his chance to wipe at his eyes. Jason was known for being a man that could show no mercy or emotion, but Elizabeth was the exception to him. He couldn't hide his emotions around her; she actually brought them out of him.

"Yeah I promise."

"I'm sorry this took so long to figure out."

"I'm really sorry I hurt you."

This was his chance. He had planned to tell her this, but not in this way.

"I love you. I should've told you before."

_I'm lost in you everywhere I run  
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new_

He had never told her before, not in the nine years that he'd known her. He had felt this way for a long time and never knew when he started to fall in love with her. he didn't care when, he just knew that he loved her and he owed it to her to be honest with her.

"Well, now's when it matters. I love you and I always will."

He met her lips in a tearful embrace. It was far too short, but he had to remain strong for her. Their foreheads touched and he took a breath at their closeness. He could smell her vanilla perfume. It had always been appealing to him and she always smelled good. He felt like he was in one of those cheesy romantic movies that Carly forced him to watch, but in this movie, the boy and the girl don't end up together and it's not a happy ending.

Jason reluctantly moves his forehead away from hers, knowing that he didn't have a choice.

"You need to leave."

She laid her head on his chest for one last time and wrapped her arms around his large frame. He squeezed his eyes shut, knowing that the both of them were trying to etch this scene to their memories. He felt her let go and walk away, but the pain made it unbearable to watch her leave.

* * *

_~September 2007~_

Jason stood in the barn, patiently waiting for her to show up. He had rarely seen her since their heartbreaking goodbye. Their shared long and angst glances in the hospital, but that was it. He had found some new information and knew that she had a right to know about it.

Elizabeth strutted into the barn and he could tell she was mad.

"You told Sam that you're Jake's father?"

He smiled inside, always loving when her feisty side came out to play.

"No, she overheard us in the hospital; remember when you were thanking me for letting Lucky raise my son?"

"So she's known since May?"

She crossed her arms over her chest in anger and he warily watched her, making sure she didn't get too angry.

"Yes, but I didn't find out till after Jake was kidnapped, when Amelia came to see me-"

"Amelia...Amelia Joffe?"

Jason sighed as he confessed to the information he withheld from her, knowing how pissed she was going to get.

"Yeah, Sam got really drunk the night she found out Jake was my son and she told Amelia everything."

"So Sam and her television producer have known for months that you're Jake's father and you're only telling me this now?"

Jason cringed under her 'if looks could kill' stare.

"Does anyone else know about Jake?"

Jason hesitated before he answered her question. She crossed her arms once again, and he knew he couldn't back out now.

"Yeah um, Sonny, Lulu, Spinelli, Milo and Diane. And Emily suspects it, but I wouldn't confirm it."

Elizabeth dryly smiled and threw her hands up in the air.

"Oh that's it?"

Jason tried to backtrack and defend himself against her frustration.

"Spinelli found out by accident. He was messing around on the hospital mainframe and he pulled up the paternity test-"

"And he told Lulu?"

"Right, and Lulu wanted to tell Lucky, but I talked her out of it."

Elizabeth incredulously looked at him, the horror evident on her face if Lulu had told her brother that his own son wasn't his.

"Well, of course now it makes sense why she's been upset with me."

"Lulu understands that things are complicated with you and Lucky...and you and me. She's not gonna say anything and Diane, she can't."

"And Amelia Joffe?"

"Amelia owes me for saving her life. Besides she likes when Sam gets all upset over this because it makes her very happy and she has no intent on telling anybody."

"Okay, here's the obvious question. Sam and Lucky are already sleeping together, why shouldn't she tell him Jake is really yours?"

She patiently waited for him to answer and he really didn't want to answer her question because it would lead to a disastrous conclusion.

"Because she would be facing criminal charges. Sam watched Marlene kidnap Jake...and then she paid those men to threaten you in the park."

Jason thought he had seen Elizabeth mad before, but when he told her Sam had let Jake get kidnapped and hired men to threaten her and her boys, she was downright enraged. He walked closer to her and grasped her shoulders, but she walked away from him, livid.

"If you've known all this time that Sam would be a threat to Jake, how could you not warn me?"

"I've handled it."

"She watched our son get kidnapped! She hired men to terrorize us! Jason, they had guns! God, she should be arrested!"

"You can't go to the cops!"

"Why not? She threatened our son!"

"Elizabeth, trust me. When I say Sam's been handled..."

He trailed off from his sentence, hoping she would get his point. He had threatened to kill Sam, a real threat and she knows that he meant it. Elizabeth sat down in exhaustion and Jason squatted in front of her, a comforting hand resting on her shoulder.

"This is all my fault. This entire sick and twisted, hateful lie...now I can't find my way out."

"It's going to be okay."

He could tell she was still furious, but he knew she wasn't angry at him. She was starting to finally calm down.

"I know I have no right to criticize, but God I wish you had handled things differently."

"Okay, if I give Sam up as an accessory in Jake's kidnapping, it would have come out that I'm his father. You didn't want that at the time."

"Well, did she at least say why? Why she hired those men to terrorize me and my two very small children?"

"Because she wanted to frighten you and your kids away from me."

Elizabeth sighs as she stands up and walks away from. Jason stands up and goes to follow her. With her back to him, he rests a tentative hand on her hip. She doesn't move away from him, and he takes it as a good sign.

"Then her timing is flawless."

Jason smiled as he slowly turns her around, both hands now on her hips. She rests her hands on his chest, reveling in their closeness. Her anger was almost gone and she was finally enjoying their alone time together.

"I miss you all the time. When Jake smiles I see your smile."

Jason smiles on cue, and Elizabeth giggles as she touches his lip with one finger.

"You know, I've got this picture of you and Jake...I look at it way more than I should."

"Why are you telling me all of this right now?"

"Because I don't know when I'm going to see you again and I don't want any secrets between us. Whatever you decide for yourself, Cam and our son, I'm going to support you in any way I can."

_I'm lost in you something I can't fight_  
I cannot escape  
I can spend my life lost in you!

Elizabeth smiles as she leans up for a long and deep kiss. They know how precious life is and don't waste a minute of it. They finally break away to take a breath. Jason pulls a strand of her hair behind her ear and she smiles. His arms lock around her waist refusing to let go as her hands rest around his neck, kneading through his growing hair.

"You know I love you."

Elizabeth nods as she rests her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It calms her down again, and she could almost forget the anger she had just been feeling.

"I love you too. That's what gets me through this."

* * *

_~November 2007~_

She had been surprised to see him sitting in her living room in the dark. Her cheeks were still stained with the hot tears that had been running down her face during Emily's service. She hung up her jacket and walked over to him. He opened his arms and she gratefully walked into them and hugged him tightly. He held her just as close, knowing how short their time together was.

She pulled back to look at him. They both realized what was about to happen and knew that they both needed it. She quietly led him upstairs to her room and closed the door behind her.

Elizabeth pulled off Jason's black jacket and laid it on the chair next to her bed. He pulled her to him and stared down into her blue eyes. She ran a hand through his long hair and pulled his lips down to hers.

They were close again for one night, a night similar to the night Jake had been conceived. He made love to her as they both mourned the loss of Emily.

He leaned against her headboard as Elizabeth sat against his chest. He held one of her hands in his, fingers entwined. His other hand gently combed through her hair. Her free hand rested on his knee, gently rubbing circles.

"I wish we could stay together all night. Gram is bringing the boys home soon."

"That's okay. Thank you for what you said today. I know it wasn't easy."

"Didn't it show how badly I wanted to throw up?"

Jason shook his head, but he realized she wasn't looking at him.

"You looked beautiful."

He heard her low chuckle and could practically feel her blushing. He had caught her by surprise.

"Standing up there didn't even feel real. How could Emily be in that coffin? How could she be gone from the world? I didn't want to come home tonight. I didn't want to walk in that door and into the rest of my life knowing Em was never going to call or she was never going to stop by or make me laugh. Then I saw you, waiting and I know its crazy, but I thought she did this. She knew how much I needed you."

"As soon as I left that church, I knew I had to see you. I love you and I thank God every day for you and for Jake."

Elizabeth smiled as he brought their joined hands up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. She heard a car door close outside and Jason let out a breath. He knew their time together was over.

"That's my Gram."

"You want me to leave?"

Elizabeth pulled away so she could look him in the eye.

"I want you to stay."

_I could never be the same here  
Something that I never could erase_

He smiled as he kissed her lightly and followed her down the steps, the whole way holding hands. He stopped at the front door and let her out to get her sons. Jason sat down on the couch and silently waited. Cameron came racing in towards him and practically ran into the couch. Jason laughed as he could tell the little boy was hyper.

Elizabeth closed the door behind her with baby Jake in her arms. She watched Jason interact with her eldest son and it broke her heart knowing that if they had been given the chance of being a family, Jason would love Cameron as his own son, no questions asked.

"Whoa, what have you been eating?"

Cameron smiled as he hopped up and down.

"Chocolate!"

"Chocolate?"

"Apparently Gram thought he wouldn't miss Em as much if he had a big piece of chocolate cake."

Jason smiled as he looked up at the mother of his child holding their son. He motioned for Cameron to join him on the couch.

"You know what, Emily loved chocolate cake. She used to get one of the cooks at the Quartermaine's to bake her this big chocolate cake about once a week. I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Cameron enthusiastically nodded his head and Elizabeth laughed as she shifted Jake to her other hip.

"He told me he's going to miss all the puppet shows he and Emily used to put on."

"Puppet shows?"

"Yeah, he has this big basket of puppets in his room and the two of them would make up these stories. Your favorite was the falcon and the prince, right?"

Cameron nodded his head at his mother.

"Maybe you could show me sometime?"

"Yeah!"

"That would be fun, but right now its bath time so let's go upstairs buddy."

She looked at Jason, then to Jake.

"Do you think you could watch him?"

"Yeah."

Elizabeth hands Jake to Jason and immediately the boy rested his head against his father's shoulder. Jason pats his back and it almost brought Elizabeth to tears. She led Cameron to the steps, but stops when she hears Jason gently talking to his son.

"Jake, Emily won't be here to watch you grow up. I'm sorry because you would have loved her."

Elizabeth smiles as she follows Cameron upstairs. Once he's tucked in and asleep, she quietly walks downstairs. Jason is kneeling by Jake's playpen, peering inside with wonder in his eyes. Elizabeth kneels beside him and he wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"He's got my hands."

Elizabeth playfully smiles at him and he rolls his eyes.

"What?"

"Jake...I look at his hands and I see mine. That doesn't make any sense, does it?"

"I think it's very sweet."

Jason laughs as Elizabeth rests her head against his shoulder. They watch their son sleep for a few minutes, savoring the quiet time together.

"He obviously fell asleep. I wanted to carry him upstairs, but I didn't want to wake him up."

"That's okay; he can stay down here for awhile."

"I just love to watch him sleep."

"I know. He's so angelic with those pink little cheeks and those long lashes."

Jason stood up, knowing that every good thing comes to an end. He couldn't stay any longer or it would look suspicious. Elizabeth realized this and stood up with him.

"It's so peaceful here. I'm not really used to that."

"I'm glad you're here tonight."

"I didn't know where else to go."

The words mirrored the same words she had said to him the night they had first made love and conceive their son.

"Emily would have wanted us to be there for each other."

"I don't- I don't know what happens next."

"And neither do I, but I know I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

_~December 2007~_

He practically pulled the door off of its hinges to see her sitting on the bed. He rushed over to her, but she stood up with a playful look in her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"I asked you here because I love you and I need to be with you."

Jason took a breath at what she was saying. They hadn't been together for a month and he missed her, almost too much for his heart to take.

He gathered her and they wasted no time. He threw her onto the bed and quickly began to ravage her. It wasn't like last time when they both needed each other because Emily had just died. This time is was because they loved each other.

He rolled over onto his side and got up once she had fallen asleep. He pulled the blanket over her and got up to get dressed. He didn't want to leave the bed, but he knew that he was needed somewhere else. He pulled on his clothes and quietly watched her naked form sleep. He sat back down on the bed and felt her stir. She smiled as she sat up and he pulled her closer to her, his hand resting on her bare back, his fingers gently rubbing up and down her spine. His other hand held one of her own, fingers gently playing with each other. Her free hand combed through his long, soft hair. They stared at each other, refusing to look away.

_I could never look away_  
I lost myself in you!  
It's all over now!

"I am so sorry that I have to go. And I'm glad you called me."

"Well I had to see you. I heard about Georgie."

Jason grimly nodded as he thought about her murder. Spinelli had been taking it especially hard. He couldn't imagine how Mac, Maxie or Robin were feeling.

"Yeah Spinelli told me he's the one who found her."

"I was at the desk when they brought Maxie in. She was hysterical and then Mac came out to break the news to Robin, it was like Emily all over again."

Jason nodded as he moved his hand to brush through her long locks.

"Actually Georgie and Spinelli were good friends. He is devastated."

"She was such a kind and thoughtful person who had a lifetime full of promise and possibility, gone."

"I know, there's just no way to make sense of it."

"When I heard about Georgie, I know this sounds selfish, but all I could think about was you and how much I loved you and how much I needed you. And how terrible it would be if I never saw you again. We can't take this for granted. We have to find a way to be together."

Jason gave her a look and she just gave it right back.

"Are you saying we should just tell everyone that Jake is my son and not Lucky's?"

Elizabeth groaned at his question and he gave her a small smile.

"Sometimes I just wish you would make that decision for me. Claim Jake as your own and insist that we become a family-"

"And I would...I would if the situation was different, but you're his mother and I respect your decision."

"Then we're back to where we started. The boys will be safer with Lucky as their father. Do you still agree?"

Jason reluctantly nodded.

"Yeah, but I will always miss Jake."

"But we could throw caution to the wind and do what makes us happy. You, me, Jake and Cameron living together under one roof. It would be wonderful, but God forbid if something ever happened to Jake because of the life you live and we would never forgive ourselves. And the rest of our lives we would regret the choice we made."

"Right now the Zaccharas are after me and Sonny. He's known for targeting families."

"So I suppose we should make a clean break...but I don't wanna give you up."

"So what do we do?"

Neither answered his question, both just holding onto each other, dreading when he had to leave.

"My divorce is final. I'm a free woman and you're a free man..."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty much taken at the moment."

He grinned as he pulled her in for a light kiss.

"So what's to stop us from seeing each other in secret?"

"You mean...?"

"Like an affair. Nobody has to know. We could meet here and spend some time together...and go back to our lives. I know it sounds scandalous and so not me, but it's not like were hurting anyone, right?"

Jason smiled at the idea. He knew he couldn't bare seeing her and not being able to touch her, and he knew she felt the exact same way.

"Right."

"And the only person I would want to tell is Emily..."

"And I think she'd be happy for us."

"She wanted us to admit our feelings to each other. So here I am, telling you that I love you and that you will always be a part of me."

He smiled as he held both of her hands in his, confident with their decision.

"I love you. And if this is what you want, let's do it."

She grinned and pulled him in for another kiss. One thing led to another, and to his clothes being taken off once again. He knew he had to leave, but it was practically impossible to leave the bed. Finally, they had both gotten dressed and out of that damn bed.

Jason stood nervously near the door as Elizabeth clipped her necklace back on.

"Should I go first? Maybe I should go first so nobody see us leave together."

"I feel almost illicit, and I know we haven't done anything wrong."

"We just have a secret."

"Keeping the secret of Jake's paternity has been hard. I know because you love him as much as I do. It doesn't seem fair that I'm a part of his life and you're not. But I guess this secret is different. Something we can hold on to till the next time we can be together."

Jason nodded his head as he held her close to him.

"Thank you for being with me."

"I know it's not perfect."

"It's perfect enough."

"I know I've already told you a dozen times tonight, but I never get tired of saying it. I love you Jason."

_Lost in you! Everywhere I run  
Lost in you! Everywhere I run!_

"I love you so much."

They both knew they had lost so much, but now have gained so much more.

_Lost in you!  
Lost in you!_


	11. Ordinary World

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline.** _

* * *

  _"Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

_**Ordinary World** _

_Previously on Start Again…_

_Elizabeth repeatedly knocked on his door, praying that he would answer. She had Aiden in a stroller behind her and prayed that she would be back home before TJ and Cameron got there._

" _Elizabeth, what are you doing here?"_

" _Jason, Spinelli's dead."_

Time seemed to freeze as he stared at the brunette beauty standing in his doorway, breathing hard and her cheeks were flush.

He heard what she said, but it sound muffled, like underwater. He shook his head to clear the ringing noise.

She carefully watched his reaction as a tear slid down her cheek. His eyes clouded over, but his face didn't change. A vein twitched in his temple as he stepped aside to allow her to come in.

Elizabeth pulled Aiden in and Jason quietly shut the door behind them. She pushed the stroller over to the couch and got her youngest son out, holding him close to her.

She turned around to face the blonde enforcer, but he hadn't moved from his position.

"Jason?"

He turned around and faced her, pain visibly etched on his face. He refused to cry, he hated seeming weak. Spinelli was a friend, despite how Jason acted towards him. Of course, his dialect was odd at times, but Jason somehow found it comforting at times. Now he would never hear it again.

He warily watched Elizabeth moved closer to him, Aiden on her hip. He watched the little boy who was oblivious to the catastrophe surrounding him.

She reached up and touched his cheek with one hand. He closed his eyes at her touch, feeling the heat course from her fingers and onto his skin. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this way with Sam, his wife, but with Elizabeth it was different. She always had this effect on him.

"What happened?"

Jason motioned towards the couch and guided her with a strong hand on the small of her back. They sat down, close enough for Aiden to hold one of Jason's hands.

"I was on my way home when my cell phone went off. It was the hospital, saying that there was a double homicide at an apartment building. One of the victims had been found alive, but died shortly in the ambulance."

"Two victims?"

"The other was Olivia."

"Olivia Falconeri?"

Elizabeth grimly nodded her head. She watched as Jason ran a hand through his usually spiky hair. Then she noticed his attire. His blonde hair was wet and clinging to his scalp. He had on a black wife beater and black sweatpants. He must have just gotten out of the shower. She knew thinking about him in the shower shouldn't affect her anymore, but boy did it.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here."

Jason had watched her take him in and smiled on the inside, then realized what she was saying.

"Please, stay."

Elizabeth looked at Jason, who looked like he was barely holding it together as it is.

"Cameron's with TJ and I have to get home before they do."

Jason nodded as he got up to walk her out.

"I'll give you a ride."

"Jason, that's out of your way, plus-"

"Please let me do this. I need to get my mind off of…"

His sentence trailed off and his face reflected his pain that he was trying so desperately to hide.

"Does Sonny know?"

"If he did, then he would have called me. God, I can't even imagine how Dante's going to take this."

Elizabeth nodded as she opened the door and Jason pushed Aiden's stroller out into the elevator. It was silent on the way down except for Aiden's babbling baby talk.

_Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue  
Thought I heard you talking softly_

Of course, it was raining outside, so that added to the solemn mood in the car, affecting everyone, including Aiden.

She guided him to her car and he drove them home. She looked over from the passenger's seat, cautiously watching him for any signs of a breakdown. He had gone through so much this past year. She couldn't believe how strong he was in front of her. She knew she wasn't strong enough to handle that.

He pulled into her driveway, never asking once for directions, he still knew the way. He walked over to the passenger's side and opened her door, still a gentleman. He helped her get Aiden out and followed her up the steps.

She opened the door to see TJ playing videogames with Cameron on the living room floor.

_I turned on the lights, the TV and the radio  
But still I can't escape the ghost of you_

"Mama!"

Cameron immediately got up and ran over to his mother. She kneeled down and hugged him with one arm wrapped around him and one arm wrapped around Aiden.

_What has happened to it all?  
Crazy, some would say_

Jason watched from a distance at the little family reunion. He thought of Sam's baby and how he's going to have these moments to look forward to when he returned home with his son or daughter.

_Where is the life I recognize?  
Gone away_

TJ got up from the floor and awkwardly stood to the side. Once Cameron had finished telling Elizabeth all that he had done with TJ, she looked to the teenager.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't able to pick you guys up. Something came up at the hospital. Thank you so much for bringing him home."

TJ shrugged his shoulders.

"It's not a big deal."

"Mama, we got to take the bus!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, TJ showed me how to hold onto the pole and not fall down. I fell down once, but TJ helped me back up."

"He did? Did you thank him?"

"Yes, Mama."

"Well, why don't you go wash up and get ready for dinner?"

Cameron nodded his head and looked back at TJ.

"See ya later TJ!"

TJ waved to Cameron as he ran up the steps. Elizabeth set Aiden down in his playpen and turned to TJ. She reached into her purse to pull out money, but TJ stopped her.

_But I won't cry for yesterday  
There's an ordinary world_

"It was really nothing Ms. Webber. I enjoyed hanging out with Cameron today. It helped take my mind off of things."

TJ's eyes flicked over towards Jason, who was still standing at the door. Elizabeth followed his gaze and watched the understanding form on Jason's face.

"I'll go check on Cameron."

Elizabeth nodded and motioned for TJ to sit on the couch.

"Have you talked to your mother?"

"No, I haven't been able to get a hold of her. I was supposed to take a train back to Chicago tonight, but she hasn't called me to let me know of anything else."

"Well, you're more than welcome to stay here for the night."

"Thanks Ms. Webber, but I think I can manage."

"TJ, you're only what, fourteen years old? Where are you going to go?"

"I'll find somewhere."

Elizabeth wouldn't hear anything of it.

"No, you're staying for dinner. Then you and I are going to drive over to Kelly's and get your stuff. You can stay here until you hear back from your mom."

"Ms. Webber, I don't want to be too much trouble-"

"Has anyone told you that you're too damn polite for your age?"

_Somehow I have to find  
And as I try to make my way_

Elizabeth gave him a grin and he stopped short. He smiled back as Elizabeth gave him a hug.

"Thank you Ms. Webber."

"And please, call me Elizabeth. I feel old enough already, I don't need people referring to me as my grandmother."

TJ laughed as she got up to go into the kitchen.

"Jason, when did you get here?"

Cameron's eyes were full of excitement when he saw the blond enforcer knock on the bathroom door and peer in.

"I just stopped by to check up on you. We didn't get to talk the other day. I'm sorry I left."

"It's okay. Mama said you have a job and that you had to leave before you could talk to me."

"I'm sorry buddy."

"You're here now, so that's what counts, right?"

Jason smiled as Cameron dried his hands and walked out of the bathroom.

"How old are you again?"

"I'm going to be eight on May 11th."

"You sure? I remember when you were a baby. You're growing up too fast."

"That's what Mama says. Do you wanna see my room?"

"Sure."

Cameron leads Jason to a door labeled Cameron in block letters with various sports balls around it. He followed the boy into his room and looked around.

There were superheroes everywhere. There was no trace of Chuggin' Charlie anywhere. It had been awhile since Jason had been in Cameron's room. The bed was covered in a Batman comforter and posters of superheroes and Star Wars: The Clone Wars characters covered the walls. Toys were littered everywhere.

"Wow, Cam, no more Chuggin' Charlie?"

"That's for babies, Jason."

"Right, you're how old again?"

"Seven. Keep up Jason."

_To the ordinary world  
I will learn to survive_

Jason was entranced by the little boy as he showed Jason every toy he had. He explained each action figure in detail. Jason didn't recognize any of them, but his eyes sparkled with joy as he watched Cameron. He forgot how much he had loved this boy. He had spent so little time with him over the past four years. He looked over at the doorway to see Elizabeth leaning against it.

_Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say,  
"Pride will tear us both apart"_

"Boys, dinner will be ready in five minutes. Cameron, I told you to pick up your toys this morning."

"Mom."

Jason smiled at the whiny voice Cameron used, but Elizabeth gave him a stern look. He groaned as he started picking up his toys. The way Elizabeth said boys had Jason imagining how life could have been with her, Cameron and Jake. The moment they just shared seemed surreal.

_Well now pride's gone out the window  
'Cross the rooftops, run away_

He stared at her, almost willing her to look up at him. They shared a longing glance and both felt the electric charge passing back and forth. Cameron was oblivious to it, but Jason felt it. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

Her cheeks blushed as his eyes continued to ravage her body. He couldn't help himself; it was pure instinct leading him. He wanted to stop it, he knew he shouldn't have these thoughts about Elizabeth, but there was something…something he couldn't quite place his finger on.

He could feel something stir deep within him, something that hadn't been felt for a long time. He was falling back in love.

Dante closes the door behind him, knees wobbly from the pain ripping his heart apart. He had been the first detective to the hospital, unaware that it was his mother that was the victim.

When he heard the description read over the police scanner, he felt his stomach drop. Once he reached General Hospital, he was immediately stopped by Steven Webber.

The man had tears in his eyes, and just one look gave Dante all the confirmation he needed. He refused to believe his mother was dead; he refused to believe she was murdered.

Dante shook his head at Steven, but Steven had no idea what to say to his lover's son. Dante walked past him and into his mother's hospital room. He walked in just as they were placing the sheet over her body.

He held onto the doorway for support as he felt sick to his stomach. One more look at the sheet sent him running for the bathroom.

Dante washed out his moth and looked in the mirror. The unrecognizable face staring back at him sent a sob through the broken police detective. The hole left in his heart was so ominous; he had no idea how he was supposed to move on from this. He walked past Steven, not caring enough to see his sympathetic stare.

Dante drove home and here he was, drinking himself into oblivion. He heard the door open from his place on the floor, leaning against the bar. He heard light footsteps and saw the shadow stop before him.

He was forced to look up at his wife's tearstained face. Her eyebrows rose in question and he shook his head. He watched as a sob wracked through her and she joined him on the floor.

They held onto each other for the rest of the night, crying and rocking back and forth for the death of a beloved family member.

_Left me in the vacuum of my heart  
what has happened to me?_

"Thank you again TJ for watching Cameron."

TJ didn't say anything except nodding his head. Elizabeth continued to thank him and he didn't know what to say. He followed Cameron upstairs where he would stay in the guest room for the night.

Elizabeth turned around to face Jason, who was facing the mantle. His fingers caressed Jake's portrait.

"Jason, where's Sam?"

The tension between them had been all but existent, but now it came back fast and furious. He turned around to face her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean where is your wife? She's got to be worrying about you."

"Yeah, she's probably voicing her sorrows to her new boyfriend."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows in question and Jason shrugged his shoulders. She nodded for him to sit down on the couch next to her.

"Sam's been confiding to John McBain."

"The police detective from Llanview?"

"He's been snooping around Sonny's business."

"You're not in any trouble, are you?"

Jason was shocked for a moment. He couldn't believe she still cared for him after all that he did for her. She took his shock for refusing to talk to her.

"I'm sorry. I forgot that sometimes you can't discuss your business."

"No, it's not that. You just caught me by surprise."

Elizabeth blushed as she caught on.

"I'm okay, but thanks for asking. McBain's got a vendetta against Sonny, but I have no idea why. He's a considerable threat because he was in the FBI and still has connections. Sonny has to lay low for awhile until he leaves."

"Well, he seemed nice. He talked to me about Cole. He said that Cole had been like a son to him and when he died…"

_Crazy, some would say_  
where is my friend when I need you most?  
Gone Away

Jason nodded his head as he saw Elizabeth's face contort in pain. He reached for one of her hands and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He knew that she was really talking about Jake's death.

"I would never wish that pain on anyone, not even my worst enemy."

Elizabeth nodded, and then looked down at their joined hands.

"How come Sam's been talking with McBain?"

"I asked her the same thing, but she avoided the question like it was the Plague. Something's up with her and I don't know if it's the pregnancy or something else."

"Well, I'm sure she's just going through pregnancy hormones. It will pass and she's probably extremely nervous and stressed."

"I guess."

This time Jason looked down at their entwined fingers. Unknowingly he started to massage her knuckles with his thumb and watched as she closed her eyes in content.

_But I won't cry for yesterday  
There's an ordinary world_

"I should go."

"Yeah."

Jason got up and Elizabeth walked him to the door.

"How are you going to get home?"

"I'll walk. I need to clear my head anyways before I talk to Sam."

"Okay, well, let me know if you wanna talk or anything."

"I will."

Jason turned around to give her one last look before she closed the door behind him. There were definitely some things to discuss with Sam and some things he had to figure out himself. For example, why was he having feelings towards Elizabeth? And they were definitely the more than friends feelings.

_Somehow I have to find  
And as I try to make my way_

Jason walked home, taking the long way, battling the war in his head. He was having conflicted feelings about Sam.

She was his wife, but she has been lying to him for quite some time now and if there's one thing he can't stand, it's a liar.

He knew how badly one single lie can destroy a relationship. He had tried dating Elizabeth eight years ago, but when Sonny had faked his death, Elizabeth was furious with him about lying to her about it.

He wished Sam hadn't acted the way she acted, but she didn't seem sorry for lying. It was as if she never learned her lesson.

As he walked into the penthouse, he knew what he was going to do and it was probably one of the hardest conversations he was ever going to have in his life.

_To the ordinary world  
I will learn to survive_

Dante stood at the scene of the crime, watching as Forensics was searching for fingerprints.

"Did you find anything?"

The head analyst nodded and walked over to the police detective.

"We've found multiple sets of prints that don't belong to D. Spinelli and O. Falconeri."

It still stung to hear his dead mother's name, but he had to stay focused to find and take down her killer.

"I'll take the prints down to the lab and run them through the PCPD database to see if there are any matches."

Elizabeth closed the chart in front of her to see Ewen walking towards her.

"Hey, Alexis Davis was looking for you."

Ewen flashed her a smile as he leaned forward towards her.

"She's representing Maxie in her murder case. Have you been to visit her in jail?"

Elizabeth scoffed at his question.

"No, she wouldn't want to see me. You know we're not friends."

Ewen smiled, knowing exactly Maxie and Elizabeth's history.

"But you seemed worried about her, right?"

"Well, I don't wanna believe she's a murderer. I mean that's so far outside of what she's capable of."

"It's impossible to fully know people."

Elizabeth grinned as she looked up at him. Flirting with Ewen was entertaining because he was always a gentleman. She wasn't used to all the attention, but she was certainly enjoying it. No shame in harmless flirting.

"Isn't that your job?"

"My job is to help people know themselves, but first they need to accept truths they may not want to face."

Jason walked off the elevator, knowing that Elizabeth was due for her lunch break any time now. He needed to talk to her about Sam and his decision about their marriage.

Their fight last night had been one of the worst. She had thrown a lamp at him and kicked him out of the penthouse. Of course he deserved it. The things he said had caught her off guard and completely shattered her heart.

He couldn't trust her anymore. It wasn't just about lying to him about Robin's death, now she was going behind his back to see John. If he couldn't trust her, how could he be with her for the rest of their lives?

He promised he would stay in the baby's life as its father, and he knew it wasn't the best way to raise a child under two separate households, but it was over between them.

He didn't regret anything for the past four years because he loved Sam. Somewhere along the way their love had dimmed and slowly faded away. He would always love Sam, but he wasn't in love with her anymore. Somewhere along the way, another brunette stole his heart all over again. He had hoped she would respect his decision for a divorce, but she unleashed a side he had never seen.

She was absolutely livid and he thought maybe it was because of her pregnancy. He soon left and crashed at a safe house. Unfortunately, it was the same safe house he had shared with Elizabeth four years ago. He had questioned whether it was fate or not.

_What has happened to it all?  
Crazy, some would say_

He smiled as he saw Elizabeth with her back to him at the nurse's station, but stopped suddenly when he saw her flirting with the new psychiatrist. He hid behind a corner to listen to their conversation.

He watched as Ewen answered his phone and his face fell in disappointment and shock. Jealousy raged in his chest when he saw Elizabeth comfort the doctor.

"What happened? Who was that?"

"That was Alexis. Cassandra's dead."

Elizabeth watched as Ewen tried to hide the obvious pain on his face. His shoulders slumped in defeat, as if he had just lost the Super Bowl.

"Your patient at Wynderemere?"

"Alexis...she doesn't have the details. I just wish...I shouldn't have left her there!"

"You didn't leave her. You told me she dismissed you, right?"

Ewen shook his head at Elizabeth trying to comfort him.

"I should have confronted her! I should have..."

"You just got through saying that people need to accept truths about themselves."

"I'm a doctor. I should have been able to help her."

"You've been there. You've been there for everyone, including me. And I'm going to be here for you, if you need someone."

Jason watched as Elizabeth stepped out from behind the nurse's station and hugged the doctor. For some reason, his spine tingled as he watched the doctor wrap his arms around Elizabeth. He couldn't figure out why his instincts were screaming at him to get Elizabeth away from the doctor. He posed no threat to her and he knew that if he did something like that, Elizabeth wouldn't forgive him. So he silently watched from his corner as the two continued to embrace.

"It's nauseating, isn't it?"

Jason whirled around to see Matt Hunter standing behind him and watching the same exact scene.

"Who's that?"

"Ewen Keenan. He's the new psychiatrist. He's been courting Elizabeth."

Jason looked at Matt in shock and turned back around to closely watch the scene. Elizabeth finally pulled away, but ran a hand up and down Ewen's arm.

"Elizabeth, you don't have to do that."

Elizabeth shook her head as Ewen went over to sit in one of the nearby chairs.

"Stop it, I'm not going anywhere."

"All my life I've wanted to help people explore what's inside them. I should have been able to guide Cassandra through her problems. What does that say about me as a psychiatrist...that I couldn't?"

Elizabeth watched him as she tried to answer his question.

"I know what that says about you as a man. That you care so much."

Ewen ran a shaking hand down his face.

"I should have been there to help her."

"Sometimes we lose our patients and that's never easy, but it's important that we remember how many people we do help. Just like you helped me."

Jason heard Matt mockingly gag behind him. Jason smiled as he turned around to face the young doctor.

"I take it you don't like him?"

"Well, he's the one who rescued Elizabeth when Lisa threw her off the boat, but he didn't tell her until a couple of days ago."

"Why would he wait so long?"

"That was exactly the question me and…"

Matt looked nervously at Jason when he realized who he was referring to.

"You and Spinelli were looking into him?"

"We couldn't find anything. I was supposed to meet with Spinelli, but he…"

Jason nodded his head.

"You couldn't find anything?"

"I think Spinelli did because he had called me to meet with him before he was murdered."

Jason sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Is Spinelli's laptop still in his apartment?"

"I guess."

Matt grinned when he realized what Jason was trying to do.

"Are you looking into Dr. Keenan because of Elizabeth?"

Jason looked at him in shock.

"Because if you are, I'm totally in."

Ewen had walked away from her to answer his call. It was from Kate and she sounded frantic, but quite frankly, he couldn't do anything to help her.

"That was a patient."

"Of course, I figured."

Elizabeth gave him a small smile as she signed off on one of her patient's charts.

"I'm sorry to burden you with my problems."

"It's not a burden. You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You're a good doctor and a good person."

"Even after I stood you up on our date?"

Elizabeth slyly smiled when he asked his question. He looked nervous and it was cute. It meant he actually cared.

"I'm over it. Almost."

"Would it help you fully get over it if we tried again?"

Elizabeth gave him a look of surprise.

"Just so I'm not misunderstanding, are you asking me out?"

Ewen stood up to his full height and squared his shoulders. It looked very corny, yet still cute.

"I'd be honored if you joined me for dinner. I could use the company."

"I'd love to."

"He just asked her out."

Jason looked behind him to see Matt peering over his shoulder.

"How do you know?"

"Can't you tell his body language? He's leaning towards her and can't seem to stop touching her arm or her hand. She's leaning back towards him and is easily blushing."

Jason watched with his jealousy raging inside of him.

"I should get back to work."

Jason nodded, but didn't look back to see Matt walk away. Jason continued to watch them. Ewen brought her hand up to his lips and gave it a small kiss. She smiled and blushed a little.

His heart flared at her cheeks growing red. He was supposed to be doing that. Ewen walked away and Jason realized now was his chance.

"Elizabeth."

Elizabeth turned around in surprise.

"Jason? What are you doing here?"

Jason lazily smiled as he leaned up against the counter. Her eyes sparkled at his presence, and he knew exactly how to use it to his advantage.

"I was wondering if we could talk."

Elizabeth's smile fell from her face.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm busy for lunch."

Jason tried to hide his rage and disappointment.

"That's okay. Maybe after work?"

"Sure, I just have to pick up Cameron and Aiden at daycare."

"That's fine; just bring them with you to Kelly's."

_Where is the world that I recognize?  
Gone away_

Jason flashed her a grin and she cocked her head at his aloofness. He waved as he walked away, leaving her as confused as ever.

Dante watched the computer for the matches to show up so he could start his list of suspects.

_10 fingerprints have been compared and confirmed. There are 2 unidentified sets of fingerprints._

_M. Corinthos Jr._

_M. Corinthos III_

_R. Dimestico_

_K. Howard_

_M. Hunter_

_C. Jacks_

_J. Morgan_

_E. Webber_

_A. Zacchara_

_J. Zacchara_

Elizabeth smiled as Ewen pulled the chair out for her.

"Thank you. I didn't realize men still did this."

Ewen grinned as he sat down opposite her.

"What can I say; my mum raised me to be a gentleman. I'm very well trained when it comes to pulling out chairs and opening doors-"

"And rescuing drowning women and not sticking around to take the credit."

Ewen blushed at her comment.

"Well, I can't say she taught me that one, but I sure she'd approve."

"Well, then thank her for me. And I only hope my boys grow up to be as chivalrous as you."

Ewen smiled over top his menu and Elizabeth smiled right back.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about. Your boys appear to have a pretty great mum themselves."

This time it was Elizabeth's turn to blush. His accent made everything sound so much sexier and more erotic than an American accent.

"Thank you. So far I know that you're a gentleman and you're a psychiatrist who likes to paint. Is there anything else I need to know?"

Ewen leaned closer to her to answer her question with a question.

"What else do you wanna know?"

Jason walked into the Metro Court, fully knowing this is where she would be. He discreetly asked for a table near a pillar, being able to see her clearly, but she couldn't see him.

He knew he never did things like stalking an ex during her date, but Elizabeth was more than that. Jason watches as she flirts with Ewen, occasionally touching his arm. She seemed genuinely interested in him, which really made his blood boil.

She said something and went to get up. He figured she was going to the ladies' room, so he ducked his head so she wouldn't see her. Not a minute passed by until another female figure came into the picture, one that Jason didn't anticipate.

"Whatcha grinning about Doc?"

Ewen watched in surprise as Sonny's girlfriend sat in Elizabeth's seat.

"Connie?"

"In the flesh."

Ewen had to control himself from rolling his eyes as he watched Connie lean back in her chair.

"How long have you been in control-?"

"Hey, relax Doc. Today's your lucky day cause I'm going to give you something to really smile about."

Jason grinned as he watched Ewen squirm under Connie's words. He wondered why he was acting this way towards Kate, but then carefully watched her. She seemed like an entirely different woman. She seemed carefree and to put it better words, "I don't give a shit" mentality.

"I know why Kate missed her appointment."

Connie smirked as she raised her hands up in the air.

"That's right. I'm baccckkk!"

She reached down for her phone and smirked at the text message she just received.

"Who are you texting?"

"And ruin the fun? I'm not gonna tell ya. Don't worry. I got this."

Ewen sighed as he leaned forward in his chair, slightly scared of what she was going to say next.

"What exactly is 'this'?"

"I'll give ya a hint, make it two. It involves you and you're gonna have a kick ass time doing it."

Jason saw Elizabeth out of the corner of his eyes and watched as she stopped in surprise to seeing Kate in her seat. She watched from a distance as Connie and Ewen continued to converse, oblivious to her eavesdropping, but she was unaware of Jason watching all three of them.

"I wanna help you."

"Yeah, you wanna help Kate."

Ewen sighed as Connie was being uncooperative.

"Ideally I'd like to help both of you."

Connie perked up at his interest in her.

"Oh really? That's the spirit Doc. Deep down I knew you'd come through."

"I think we should get started right away."

"Oh yeah? I mean who needs Johnny or Steve when I've got you?"

"We should take this back to my office then."

"You mean schedule the couch session for Sonny to walk in on? I like that."

"You want Sonny to walk in on a session again?"

"Duh! And you know, you don't have to really keep calling it a session, Doctor."

"Alright, what should we call it then?"

"Sex!"

Jason amusedly watched as Elizabeth move in once she heard Connie say sex. He had to stop himself from chuckling at this extremely awkward situation the beautiful brunette was about to get herself in.

"Hi Kate."

Connie looked up to see Elizabeth standing next to her, expectantly waiting for something.

"Hey, how're doing? Am I missing something?"

Ewen put his hands over his face, not believing the situation he was in right now.

"You're sitting in Elizabeth's seat."

Realization hit Connie's face and she deviously smiled at the two of them. Jason couldn't help himself from smiling as well. So far this date was steadily going downhill.

"Oh...ohh you two are on a date."

Elizabeth looked down at Connie before she answered.

"Yes."

"We are."

Kate grinned as she looked between Elizabeth and Ewen.

"Well that explains your cold feet."

"Cold feet?"

Ewen glared at Connie before answering Elizabeth's question.

"Why don't we pick this up another time, Kate?"

Connie gave a Ewen a fake pout.

"Doctor, you always say time is of the essence."

"If you guys have business to discuss I will take a rain check on that dessert-"

Elizabeth picked up her purse, she wanted out of that situation. Ewen stood up to follow her.

"No, that won't be necessary."

"No no, I wouldn't dream of it. Pull up a chair."

Connie motioned for Elizabeth to sit between her and Ewen. Jason ordered a drink as he settled in for the show.

Ewen ordered Elizabeth a slice of cheesecake and Connie helped herself to part of it.

"You mind?"

Elizabeth shook her head, wondering what was wrong with Kate.

"No please, help yourself."

"Ohh, mmm, wow! That is sinful. Speaking of, how's the sex?"

Both Elizabeth and Ewen choked on their cheesecake, as well as Jason spitting out his whiskey. The wave of jealousy swept through him and he prayed that Elizabeth would say they hadn't had sex.

"Excuse me?"

Connie grinned at the dumbfounded Elizabeth.

"Well, you know, I always wondered what it was like between the sheets with Ewen. I mean, obviously he works out, he's got a nice, tight bod under all those clothes. Does he have the stamina to go with it?"

Ewen glared at Connie and she grinned under his furious gaze.

"It's our first date."

Connie giggled as Ewen maintained his temper through his gritted teeth.

"So?"

Elizabeth taking that as her cue to leave stood up and gathered her coat around her.

"Okay, well, this has been a lot of fun, but I've left Epiphany hanging long enough. I should get back to work."

"Bummer. Can I have the rest of this?"

"Knock yourself out."

"Thanks."

Elizabeth walked out of the restaurant with Ewen closely behind her. He reached out for her forearm.

"I'm so sorry."

Elizabeth turned around in surprise.

"Is she drunk or something?"

"Um, Kate's having an off day."

Elizabeth scoffed at his comment.

"That's an understatement."

"I hope we can do this again sometime. Not this-"

"Obviously. It was good seeing you."

"You too."

Connie turned around.

"Fun hanging out with you Lizzie!"

Elizabeth gave her a small wave and didn't even look at Ewen. So far, he hadn't really impressed her and if he was going to come with baggage named Kate, he wasn't worth it. She already had to go through that with Matt.

John opened the file in front of him, knowing that he had recognized her face from somewhere. Becoming more horrified as he read each page, he closed the file. He quickly grabbed his coat and headed out of his small hotel room.

This secret couldn't stay hidden forever; too many lives were at stake.

Elizabeth checks in at the hospital to see her brother walking in in a black suit.

"Hey Lizzie."

She noticed that his usual perky self had been exchanged for a somber attitude and she didn't blame him. He must have just come back from Olivia's funeral.

"I was just at…uh…"

Elizabeth nodded, knowing how hard it is for him to talk about it.

"I feel like she should still be here."

Elizabeth walked out from behind the nurse's station and quickly gave her older brother a hug.

"Lizzie, I feel so lost."

"I know it hurts."

"What am I supposed to do? I'm never going to forget her."

"Don't forget her. Remember all the good times you had with her and hold on to them tight. You're never going to forget her, but she will want you to move on with your life."

"I'm going back to Colorado."

Elizabeth pulled back to look her brother in the eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah... It just hurts too much to be here. I know that its home, and with you here it makes it better… now it's difficult, and I think I just need to be alone for awhile."

"Steve, you know I'm always going to be here for you."

"I know little sis. I'm going to miss you."

"You too, big brother."

She gave him another hug.

"Tell Cam happy birthday for me. I'll be back for Christmas."

"Okay, don't forget to write."

"I won't. I love you."

"I love you too."

Elizabeth dabbed at her eyes when her brother pulled away for one last time. She had grown accustomed to him being her to help her with Cameron and Aiden. They loved their Uncle Steve, but now…now she didn't know what she was going to do without him. She knew she couldn't convince him to stay; she could only support his decision and love him no matter what.

Jason stopped by his penthouse, quickly changing out of his black business suit he had worn to Spinelli's funeral. It had been a quiet and private affair. Only he, Sonny, Maxie and Carly attended. He changed back into his black t shirt and jeans. He grabbed his black leather jacket on the way out when he heard a knock on his door.

"McBain, what do you want?"

"There's something that I have to tell you. It's about your wife."

"What about Sam? What did you do to her?"

McBain sighed as he tried to stay calm in front of the Mob enforcer. Being anywhere near the criminal made John's toes curl because he knew how guilty he really was.

"I didn't do anything to Sam. I found something about her and I think you should know about it."

"How can I trust you McBain? You're just trying to ruin my marriage to Sam."

Jason knew his marriage with Sam was hanging on by threads, but McBain didn't need to know that.

"You need to see this, Morgan."

McBain went to hand him Sam's file, but Jason refused it.

"Forget it. I'm done wasting my time with you."

He closed the penthouse door behind him and left John on his doorstep.

"You're going to regret this Morgan!"

Jason walks into Kelly's, selecting a table for four. He settled in and ordered Elizabeth's favorite, as well as Cameron's. he got out his cell phone and called her.

" _Elizabeth Webber."_

"Hey, it's me."

" _Hey Jason. I'm almost done here, then I have to go pick up the boys. You mind if I bring TJ along?"_

"Of course not."

" _Okay, well, I'll see you in about twenty minutes."_

"Okay, drive safe."

" _I will."_

Jason hung up the phone and smiled as he waited for her. soon enough, she came through the front door of Kelly's, Aiden balanced on her hip with Cameron and TJ trailing behind her.

"Jason!"

He smiled and squatted down next to Cameron so he could give him a hug.

"Hey, Cam."

He stood up and held Cameron in his arm's, enjoying the feeling.

"What did you order me?"

"Macaroni and cheese with milk."

Cameron smiled and flung his little arms around Jason. He looked around Cameron to see Elizabeth smiling. Jason put him down so he could eat.

"Hey Mama, can me and TJ eat at the big boy's table?"

Elizabeth gave him a look, but he just gave puppy dog eyes right back. He had Jason laughing because Cameron looked so much like his mother.

"Alright, fine, but make sure you eat."

"Thanks Mama, I love you!"

Cameron gave her a fleeting hug as TJ helped him over to the counter. They sat down together and Elizabeth took a seat against the wall so she could watch them.

"Here, let me take him so you can eat."

_But I won't cry for yesterday  
There's an ordinary world_

Jason encouragingly smiled at Elizabeth, who gave him a playful smile back. He held Aiden on his lap and soon grew accustomed to the little boy. He had one of Jason's fingers in his mouth, but Jason didn't mind. He was entranced by the brunette sitting opposite of him.

_Somehow I have to find  
And as I try to make my way_

"So how did you plans go this afternoon?"

Elizabeth blushed and then grinned.

"Not as well as I hoped."

Jason sat silently, knowing that she would explain and he never asked her questions that she didn't want to answer.

"I went on a lunch date with Ewen Keenan, the new psychiatrist at General Hospital. It was going great actually, until Kate Howard decided to show up."

Jason opened his mouth in mock surprise, already knowing exactly how her date actually went.

"Kate? Why was she there?"

"I have no idea, but something was weird. She wasn't acting like herself. She just seemed so… out there."

"That is weird. Kate's normally uptight."

"Yeah, well she definitely wasn't uptight. She even asked us about our sex life."

Jason's eyes flew to hers, jealousy coursing through him yet again.

"What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything, of course. Who does she think she is?"

Jason chuckled as he watched her get worked up.

"Look at your Mom getting all worked up, Aiden."

Elizabeth blushed as she picked at her salad.

"Sorry, it's just she was really frustrating today."

"It's okay. I thought it was cute."

Again, Elizabeth blushed and blushed even further when Jason gave her one of his drop dead smiles. The smile that was rarely seen on him.

_To the ordinary world  
I will learn to survive_

"How did it go with Sam?"

Jason coughed and then tried to compose himself. He didn't think they were going to get to that topic so quickly.

"Not so good, actually. We go into a big fight last night. She threw a lamp at me."

Elizabeth smirked at first.

"Wow, what did you say to piss her off?"

Jason fidgeted, not sure how he was supposed to start this conversation.

"I told her the truth."

Elizabeth waited for his answer, fully knowing how good he was at avoiding answering questions.

"And that is?"

"That I couldn't trust her anymore. I know that she only lied about Robin's death, but she's been seeing that McBain behind my back, even though I specifically asked her not to. How can I trust her with lying something so small as not seeing someone? How can I trust her to protect our child?"

Elizabeth sat in silence, knowing that he wasn't done yet. He bounced Aiden on his knee and Elizabeth watched with wonder as he attended to her son.

"I promised her that I would be a father to our child, but I couldn't be her wife anymore. I know it's not the best way to raise a child under two separate households, but I don't know, I just don't feel the connection between us anymore. We lost it somewhere."

"Are you sure you're not rushing things?"

Jason nodded.

"I don't regret any time that I spent with her because I loved her, but I'm not in love with her anymore."

"Why not?"

Jason stayed silent for a few minutes, trying to muster up his courage and swallow his pride.

_Everyone is my world  
I will learn to survive_

"Because I think I'm in love with someone else."

_Everyone, Everyone  
Somehow I have to find_


	12. Lie to Me

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

 

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

 

**Chapter 12**

**_Lie to Me_ **

_Previously on Start Again…_

" _How did it go with Sam?"_

_Jason coughed and then tried to compose himself. He didn't think they were going to get to that topic so quickly._

" _Not so good, actually. We go into a big fight last night. She threw a lamp at me."_

_Elizabeth smirked at first._

" _Wow, what did you say to piss her off?"_

_Jason fidgeted, not sure how he was supposed to start this conversation._

" _I told her the truth."_

_Elizabeth waited for his answer, fully knowing how good he was at avoiding answering questions._

" _And that is?"_

" _That I couldn't trust her anymore. I know that she only lied about Robin's death, but she's been seeing that McBain behind my back, even though I specifically asked her not to. How can I trust her with lying something so small as not seeing someone? How can I trust her to protect our child?"_

_Elizabeth sat in silence, knowing that he wasn't done yet. He bounced Aiden on his knee and Elizabeth watched with wonder as he attended to her son._

" _I promised her that I would be a father to our child, but I couldn't be her wife anymore. I know it's not the best way to raise a child under two separate households, but I don't know, I just don't feel the connection between us anymore. We lost it somewhere."_

" _Are you sure you're not rushing things?"_

_Jason nodded._

" _I don't regret any time that I spent with her because I loved her, but I'm not in love with her anymore."_

" _Why not?"_

_Jason stayed silent for a few minutes, trying to muster up his courage and swallow his pride._

" _Because I think I'm in love with someone else."_

He had never surprised himself as much as he did sitting in front of Elizabeth, admitting that he loves someone else other than his wife.

"Jason, you're not making any sense."

He took a gulp of air. He had never felt this nervous in his life. He always had a way with women, but with Elizabeth, it was a whole different ball game.

"I didn't mean it like that…I don't know…God I'm so stupid…"

He ran a hand over his face to see that Elizabeth trying to fight back giggles at his nervousness.

"Are you laughing at me?

He gave her an incredulous look and she couldn't take it anymore. She burst out laughing, slightly scaring Aiden in the process.

Jason was confused. Why was she laughing?

"I'm sorry. I've just never seen you that nervous before."

He crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his foot impatiently until she stopped her laughing. She composed herself and settled Aiden onto her other hip.

"I'm sure you and Sam will work things out."

"That's just it Elizabeth. I don't want to work it out."

"Why not?"

Jason sighed.

"Didn't I just explain myself? I said I'm in love with someone else."

He had never been this forward with his feelings before. He kept his heart guarded behind a solid steel wall, not just because of the dangers of his occupation, but because he never understood how someone could care for a man like him.

"Jason-"

He reached across the small table and took one of her petite hands in his larger one.

"Elizabeth, I lo-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Elizabeth's phone went off. She held her index finger up and quickly grabbed it.

"Hello?"

Jason settled back in his seat and picked at his French Fries.

"Oh, hi Ewen."

 _Ewen?_ _He's still around? What the fuck does she see in him?_

He shook his head and tried to stay out of her conversation.

"No, I'm at Kelly's."

Jason heard Aiden fuss in his mother's arms and looked up at her. He motioned towards her to hand her youngest son to him. She didn't hesitate and gently placed Aiden in the Mob enforcer's arms.

"I would love to go with you. Tomorrow at four o'clock? Okay, I can't wait."

Elizabeth finally hung up the phone. Jason looked up from Aiden grabbing at his hair. Elizabeth grinned when she saw her son reaching for the man's spiky blonde hair.

"That was Ewen. He asked me to go with him to Sonny's birthday party tomorrow."

"Sonny's birthday party?"

"Yeah, Kate had organized it a few weeks ago and with the past events…"

Elizabeth warily looked at Jason when he realized what she was talking about.

"Right, well, this should be good for him though."

"Yeah."

Jason handed Aiden back to Elizabeth and got ready to leave. He picked up his black leather jacket.

"I should get back to the penthouse. Sam's uh, she's cleaning out her stuff."

_Tell yourself its over now  
Try to kill a broken vow_

Elizabeth took his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I hope everything works out for you guys. Don't give up yet Jason."

He nodded and turned around to leave. He closed the door to Kelly's and let out a long breath. He had almost said the words "I love you" to Elizabeth.

"Where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was at my apartment."

"And do you have anyone that can vouch for you?"

"Starr Manning."

Dante gave Michael a questioning look before he continued with his interrogation.

"Well, she will be brought in for questioning as well. Michael Corinthos III, why was your DNA found at the scene?"

"I had visited Spinelli a day earlier. I wanted to see if he had any leads with the deaths of Max and Shawn."

"Do you have any witnesses for that day?"

"Maxie Jones was there."

Dante nodded and motioned for the police officer to lead Michael away. Dante sighed as the door closed behind him. He knew how hard this day was going to be. He had to interview his own family members to find out if they had killed his mother.

He knew Michael didn't do it, but it was standard procedure. Dante took a sip from the glass of water in front of him as the next suspect was brought in.

"Where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was with Kate Howard at her office at the Metro Court. Dante, I know how hard this is for you, but son-"

"Mr. Corinthos, in this room I am not your son, I am your interrogator."

"I know that, but you had to know that I didn't kill your wife."

"Why was your DNA found on the jacket of Olivia?"

"I had lunch with Olivia that day."

Dante nodded and tried to hold back his tears. He again motioned for the police officer and led Sonny away. He was already frustrated with this investigation; it shouldn't even be taking place.

"Where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was at the police station here with you."

"Why was your DNA found on Spinelli's laptop?"

"He was snooping around at the PCPD that day trying to find some clues or something. I tried to get him to leave and threatened to toss his laptop out, him along with it."

Dante nodded, knowing that this was true. Ronnie had been with him all night, investigating another case.

"Where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was with Sonny Corinthos in my office at the Metro Court."

"Why was your DNA found on Olivia?"

"She had asked me for money that day. I lent her what she asked me for."

Dante sighed, waving Kate away. This investigation was going nowhere. None of the suspects had motives to kill Spinelli or Olivia, so it obviously must be the unidentified prints that were found at the crime scene.

"Where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was at GH in the middle of a surgery."

"And why was your DNA found on Damian Spinelli?"

"I had talked with Spinelli earlier that day about Maxie."

Matt walked out of the interrogation room with Carly entering behind him.

"Where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was with Johnny Zacchara."

"All night?"

Carly shot Dante a look and he just shrugged.

"Why was your DNA found on Olivia?"

"I had made her drink after she had lunch with Sonny. Must have been something they talked about."

"Where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was at home with my son Aidan when I had gotten the call about Spinelli and I went over to tell Jason Morgan."

"And why was your DNA found on Spinelli?"

"I ran into him at GH when he asked me to help with Maxie."

"Mr. Morgan, where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was with Elizabeth Webber."

"And why was your DNA found on Spinelli?"

"He had come to ask me to help him with Maxie's case."

"Where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was with my wife Tracy Quartermaine."

"And why was your DNA found at the scene of the crime?"

"I don't know how I always manage to get myself dragged into these murders."

Anthony shrugged at Dante and gave him a grin. Dante knew that Anthony had no motive to kill Spinelli or Olivia, but he had done crazier things.

"Where were you the night Damian Spinelli and Olivia Falconeri were murdered?"

"I was with Carly Benson."

Dante raised his eyebrows at Johnny's answer.

"She finally signed the papers if that's what you're asking."

"And why was your DNA found on Olivia?"

"I had seen her at the Metro Court and bought her a drink. She had seemed stressed out and I wanted to help."

Dante slammed the door behind Johnny. He had gotten nowhere with this investigation.

Jason closed the penthouse door behind him to hear no response. He ran up the steps and into his bedroom to see that Sam was not there. He opened the drawers to see all of her clothes gone. He opened the closet to see all of her dresses disappeared.

_If only you could find the strength to kill the memories  
These empty pages never turn_

He laid down on their bed to see a note on the night table.

_Jason,_

_If you're reading this letter, then you've realized that I'm gone. I'm not sure what happened to us. I don't really know when things changed, but they did. You changed. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me. You don't have that love for me in your eyes anymore and I think that's what hurts the most. I'm staying at a motel close to Port Charles for right now, but I'm making arrangements for a permanent residence somewhere else. I don't know how far away, but this city has memories, too many that are bad._

_I don't regret any of the decisions I have made, that is something I have learned from you. I know that you want to be a father to my child, but I know what your job entails. I know how dangerous it is to have a child in the Mob and I thought I had accepted that, but now that I'm due any day now…I can't bear the thought of my son or daughter dying because I wasn't strong enough to leave you. I know you would feel the same, so I'm sparing you the pain of leaving me._

_I received the DNA test results today. My worst fears were confirmed when I read the results. I'm sorry to tell you this in a letter Jason, but you are not the father of my baby. Franco is._

_I'm sorry for anything that I've done to hurt you. I hope you find someone that makes you as happy as you made me._

_You deserve everything that life and love have to offer Jason. Don't ever forget that._

Jason crumpled the letter in his hand, the anger surging through him. How could she leave a letter? How could she tell him the child she has been carrying for months is not his and tell him in a letter?

_You lit the flame and let them burn  
You tried to bury me so deep what lies beneath_

Elizabeth pulled on the black dress, anxious about what the night would entail, but she was also excited. It would be her first official date with Ewen, since lunch at the Metro Court hadn't gone very well with Kate interrupting.

She pulled her back into a side bun and put on some new lipstick. Elizabeth turned around to show off her outfit to her sons.

Cameron was sitting on her bed, swinging his legs back and forth. Aiden was lying on the bed next to him. Cameron's eyes grew large when he saw his mother.

"Mama, you look like an angel."

Elizabeth's eyes teared up and she gave her eldest son a wide smile.

"Thank you baby."

"Where's TJ?"

Elizabeth frowned as she looked at Cameron, who had sad look on his face. So many people had left in his life; she knew it wasn't good for him.

"Oh baby, TJ had to go back home."

TJ had left the next morning, his mother wanting him back home after Shawn's death.

"Where?"

"TJ lives in Chicago with his mom. His mother missed him very much so he went back home."

"Oh, okay."

She sat down in between her boys.

"Now I want you two to behave for Lulu and Dante. Do everything she says and be the gentlemen I taught you to be, alright?"

Cameron nodded his head while Aiden just babbled. Elizabeth smiled and brought her boys closer to her.

Jason pulled on the suit jacket. He fluffed his collar a little. His blue shirt brought out his eyes and he buttoned his jacket closed. He took a breath. He was anxious about tonight, knowing who she would be there with. He knew what he had to do.

He bounded down the steps and out the door, excited to start the night.

Dante slammed the table in anger. There were no new leads and all the suspects had been interrogated. None of them had a motive, so maybe it was just a robbery gone bad.

He checked his watch and swore. He promised to meet Lulu at Elizabeth's house to help babysit Cameron and Aiden. He wanted to go to his father's birthday party, but he didn't have the strength to be in public, knowing that half the town didn't even mourn his mother's death.

Dante ran through the suspects again. Michael had no motive to kill his half-brother's mother and Spinelli had been a friend of the family. Sonny certainly didn't have a motive since Spinelli used to work for Jason and Olivia was the mother of his eldest son. Ronnie was with him at the PCPD all night, so that ruled him out. Dante knew that Kate couldn't have murdered Olivia, they were family. Matt's alibi had been confirmed by Epiphany, who had signed the doctor's list on the surgery Matt had been assigned to. Carly didn't like Olivia because of her shared child with Sonny, but she didn't hate her enough to kill her. Elizabeth had no motive because Olivia was dating her brother and Spinelli was a longtime friend. Spinelli used to work for Jason. Johnny had no motive to kill Olivia as they were previous lovers. Anthony was the only viable suspect. He had no motive, but that hasn't stopped him before.

Jason walked out of the elevator doors and headed straight for the bar. He motioned for the bartender to grab him a beer. He fingered at his left ring finger, only to find that his ring wasn't there. Along with the note Sam had left, she also signed their divorce papers.

 _Will your hope die alone_  
Will you fade on your own  
Can you just turn away and let me go

He was now officially single again. He took a swig of his beer and glanced around the room. Kate was giving Sonny his present. Carly and Johnny were being all lovey dovey at the end of the bar, much to his disgust. Alexis was talking with Mac and Diane. Luke and Tracy were arguing at a table with Anthony smiling in between them. Anna and Emma were sitting at a table with Matt and a sullen Patrick.

_Lie to me  
You can feel_

Jason smiled as he realized she wasn't here yet. Hopefully he could make a good impression tonight.

Elizabeth stepped off the elevator with Ewen right beside her. She had to admit that he did clean up well.

His black suit and white dress shirt gave him a clean cut look. He led her into the room with an arm looped through his. They walked over to Kate and Sonny to wish him a happy birthday, and then found a table to sit down.

Elizabeth scanned the room, seeing many familiar faces. One that struck her was Jason sitting alone at the bar. She had hoped that he and Sam could have worked out their issues.

She turned her attention back to Ewen and they chatted for awhile, but she couldn't help but steal glances at Jason.

Elizabeth blushed when Jason's gaze turned to her. He didn't look away; he just continued to stare at her. She couldn't look away; it was like she was in a trance. The blue dress shirt under the black suit jacket brought out his eyes. He definitely cleaned up well and she could see from where she was sitting that his muscles were well defined. Yes, he looked damn good.

"Liz?"

She blushed once more at Jason, who smirked as she was forced to look back at Ewen.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

She gave him a fake smile as she continued to listen to him talk about one of his patients. She knew that she should be paying attention to Ewen, he had asked her on a date, but she couldn't help herself. Her mind was entirely wrapped around another man. A man she hadn't thought about in awhile, but all the old feelings started to rush back at her.

Jason stood up and walked by Elizabeth's table. He could feel her gaze on his back and grinned. He liked seeing Elizabeth blush and know that he was the cause of it.

"Happy birthday Sonny!"

Jason clapped him on the back and gave him a real smile. Sonny gave him a wary look and glanced at Jason's left hand.

"Thanks Jason. How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine."

Sonny nodded, knowing that Jason was burying his real feelings for the time being.

"Did she move out?"

 _That this love was never real_  
Walk away  
You can learn to love again

"Yeah, she uh, cleared her stuff out last night. She's staying at a motel nearby, but I'm not sure if she'll come tonight or not."

"I'm sorry about that. I thought that you two could have worked it out."

_Lie to me  
You can leave_

"I thought so too, but there were just too many lies and mistakes to fix."

_I'll still be here when you see  
You're not alone_

Sonny nodded and Jason walked away, trying to find someone else to talk to. He smiled as he saw the woman on his mind at the bar alone.

He walked up beside her, just close enough to brush her arm. He felt her slightly flinch at the electricity crackling between them. He motioned to the bartender for another beer as he turned to face her.

"You look beautiful tonight Elizabeth."

She blushed and then smiled.

"Thank you. You look handsome yourself."

Jason didn't acknowledge her compliment, only continued to stare at her. They stood, frozen in time, nothing could break their contact. Well, except for one thing: everyone gasping. Jason and Elizabeth simultaneously turned around to see Sam walk in on the arm of John McBain.

_You don't have to run again  
Leave me in denial_

"Aunt Lulu, can we have spaghetti for dinner?"

"We sure can Cam. Did you know that Uncle Dante makes excellent spaghetti?"

Cameron shook his head and looked over at Dante, who was currently playing with Aiden on the couch. Lulu smiled as she saw his eyes light up every time Aiden squealed when he was lightly tossed in the air. She could see that he was having a good time, and it was good for him after everything he's been through.

"Uncle Dante, can you make me spaghetti?"

"I sure can, kiddo."

"Yay!"

Dante got up and settled Aiden on his hip as he guided Cameron and Lulu into the kitchen. He wrapped an arm around Lulu and gave her a kiss on the forehead, letting her know that everything was going to be okay, one way or another.

"I can't believe this."

Jason chugged the rest of his beer as Sam walked in with a smile plastered on her face. It hadn't even been a day of them being divorced before she hopped into another man's bed.

_All your secrets crawl inside  
You keep them safe, you let them hide_

He watched as Sam and McBain took a seat at a table to themselves, everyone's eyes on them. He couldn't bear to watch anymore and slammed his beer down on the bar. He felt Elizabeth's hand on his forearm, but he shrugged it off and stormed out of the room and ran up the stairwell.

_You feel them drinking in your pain to kill the memories  
So close your eyes and let it hurt_

He stood on the rooftop, panting as if he was out of breath. He flung his jacket off and threw it away. Of course, he expected Sam to move on, but he hadn't expected her to move on so quickly. He should have known McBain would have swooped in right after he divorced Sam. The worst part of it was that he still cared for her and for her to do that to him in public…

_The voice inside begins to stir  
Are you reminded of all you used to be_

He slammed his fist down on the rooftop wall and yelled out in frustration. Then he heard the quiet footsteps behind him.

"Jason, what happened?"

_Can you just turn away and let me go_

He didn't want her to see him like this. This wasn't how the night was supposed to go.

"She's been lying to me."

_Lie to me  
You can feel_

"Who?"

She walked closer towards him and reached out for his trembling hands. He let her comfort him.

"Sam. She's been lying to me about John McBain!"

He moved away from her, not wanting her to experience his anger and mistake it for her fault.

"When Sam told me she had the DNA test done, my first thought was how hard it must have been for her to go through it alone, but she wasn't alone. She had him."

"What do you mean?"

"I only know because Alexis said something. Sam was never even going to tell me."

Jason crossed his arms in front of him, trying to control the rage inside of him.

"Tell you what?"

"She said the DNA sample came from a contact at the FBI. She never told me about McBain!"

 _That this love was never real_  
Walk away  
You can learn to love again

Elizabeth was confused. Why did he have such animosity generated towards McBain? And why would Sam need a DNA sample?

"Wait, why would Sam need a DNA sample?"

Jason froze. He walked away from the wall, away from Elizabeth. He hated being vulnerable in front of her. He was supposed to be this strong man, this Mob enforcer. All he felt like right now was a scared little child.

"Just forget it."

He knew she wouldn't listen to him and followed him, standing right behind him, refusing to let him wallow in his pain. She lightly touched his back and it sent a shiver up his spine. He turned around to face her, tears in his eyes.

"What's going on?"

"Elizabeth, you should just get back to your date."

He hadn't meant for it to sound venomous, but it didn't faze her at all. It actually brought her closer to him. She was merely inches away.

"Please Jason...you can talk to me."

"Talking's not going to change anything."

"Okay whatever it is, whatever you tell me, I'm not going to say anything. you can trust me. About the DNA test, did you and Sam go through genetic counseling? Is there a reason you might think there's a problem with the baby?"

When she said he could trust her, that's when his walls broke down. A single tear slid down his cheek and he closed his eyes. He thought it was all lost until he felt her hand on his face, lightly wiping away his tear. He opened his eyes to see her close to him, strength in her eyes as she waited for his answer. There was so much love and understanding in her sapphire orbs, he couldn't understand why he had ever left her.

"There is a problem with the baby...it isn't mine."

He hadn't intended on telling Elizabeth anything about his problems with Sam, but it just came out. He told her about their honeymoon. He told her about Franco raping Sam. It was probably one of the hardest things he had ever had to talk about and he could see Elizabeth's tearing up as she offered him her hand. He gladly took it as they looked out over the edge and down at the busy city below.

"Franco raped Sam and made you watch?"

The disgust in her voice was evident. He had felt her stiffen beside him as he described how he felt when he was locked in that godforsaken room with only that damn TV to watch his wife be raped in front of him.

"She was drugged and...She didn't remember everything. I had to...I had to tell her. I just wanted to get her to a hospital so she could have an exam and get treatment, but she said she couldn't stand it."

He looked over at her to see a faraway look in her eyes. He couldn't describe the feelings he felt as he told Sam she had been raped. It was the worst moment in his life, besides having to see his son die in surgery.

"She showered, didn't she? She needed to get clean. Pretend like it never happened."

He wanted to kick himself for forgetting about Elizabeth's rape. Why had he brought this up in the first place? The pain that Elizabeth has had to live with all of these years must be excoriating and he had just taken advantage of that to lessen his own sorrows.

"I'm sorry about this..."

Elizabeth shook her head.

"I'm glad you told me. Now I know what you and Sam have been carrying around since your honeymoon."

"We thought it was done, in the past. Franco's dead. We thought the baby was ours. It just...turns out that its Franco's baby."

Jason walked away again, trying to bury his pain, but Elizabeth wouldn't let him. She never did.

"It doesn't mean you can't love this child. Lucky loved Jake even after he found out he was yours. And this is the baby you and Sam have been looking forward to, the one you were going to raise together. You can still be the father. You know that, don't you?"

Jason turned around to face her. Talking about Jake was always painful, especially talking about how he had given him up.

"I'm not sure I do."

He wanted all of this to go away. He wanted to erase the past year. He just wanted to feel nothing.

"I don't know, maybe I'm a better man than I think. Maybe I can be a father to Sam's baby."

Elizabeth smiled as she leaned against the wall.

"I have no doubts at all. Look at the way you loved Michael."

"That was different. I didn't know anything about babies, much less what it meant to be a father. Michael was just...there and he needed me."

She moved closer towards him and he felt that electricity again. It sparked between them, and he noticed the change in her eyes. They both felt it, and hadn't felt it in four years.

"And this baby is going to need you too."

"Sam and I should be talking about this together. We should be working it out together, but she's confiding in McBain and that's the problem!"

He shook his head as he tried to gather the anger inside of him, trying to control it.

"Sam keeps telling McBain everything since she met him that night at the church."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we were up on the bridge and she was at the Queen of Angels telling McBain all our problems."

"Well, maybe its just one of those times where it's easier-"

Jason threw up his hands in front of him in frustration.

"Easier? She asked him to help her get Franco's DNA before she even told me there was a problem!"

Jason wanted Elizabeth to see how angry he was, but she didn't back down.

"I'm sure she was trying to protect you."

"Yeah, that's a nice word for lie."

"I know what Sam was thinking. She was trying to soften the blow and didn't realize it was making everything worse."

"If I hadn't shown up at GH for the check up, Sam might have had McBain beside her during that DNA test. Maybe that's why she didn't want me there."

Elizabeth shook her head in belief as she watched Jason continue to blame himself.

"You don't know that."

"I don't know anything because she's telling him; she's not telling me a thing!"

Jason took a breath and continued.

"When I asked Sam about seeing McBain at her mother's house...she just tried to play it off like it was nothing. That's when she asked him to get Franco's DNA."

Elizabeth was silent for a moment, processing everything that Jason had told her.

"Maybe you shouldn't be telling me all of this."

Jason froze. He looked at Elizabeth in surprise. Why shouldn't he be telling her this? He thought they were friends. He thought he could trust her.

"Yeah, I'm sorry; I know this is not your problem."

Elizabeth blushed and then smiled rather sheepishly. Jason gave her a puzzled look, wondering why she thought this was so funny.

"No, that's not what I meant. You can always tell me everything, but the person you need to be talking to is Sam."

Jason sullenly smiled and nodded his head.

"I just can't take anymore lies right now."

He looked to Elizabeth for advice and waited for her to respond.

"Okay, even if she isn't being honest with you, you need to be honest with her. And tell her how you feel."

Jason was surprised at how compassionate Elizabeth was. He saw first hand the animosity between Elizabeth and Sam.

"Why are you taking her side?"

Elizabeth grinned and leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms.

"I know, it's weird for me too, but for some odd reason you love her and she loves you, and if she makes you happy, then you should work through whatever problem there is. Love is never easy."

Jason stared at her. He couldn't get over the fact how beautiful she looked under the moonlight. The way her smooth ivory skin lit up under the natural light. Her eyes sparkled with kindness and a little bit of mischief.

Their eyes locked and held each other's gaze for a moment, until Elizabeth looked away in embarrassment. Jason grinned, knowing that he had gotten into her head, and hopefully her heart. Now he was never going to leave.

"You should get back down to your date."

Elizabeth curtly smiled and rubbed her shoulders. Jason looked around and found his jacket on the ground. He picked it up and draped it over her shoulders. His hands lingered on her arms for a moment too long, and he was forced to pull away.

"I hope you find what you're looking for Jason."

Elizabeth looked back once more to confirm that Jason indeed had found exactly what he was looking for.

Ewen watched as his date walked off the elevator with a man's jacket draped over his shoulders. She placed the jacket on a coat hook and made her way over to him. The jealousy surged through him and he hid it when she returned to her seat opposite him.

"I'm sorry for leaving."

"It's quite alright. You were just helping a friend."

Elizabeth nodded as she continued to listen to Ewen's conversation, but her worry for Jason kept her distracted. She watched as he walked off the elevator and grabbed his jacket. His eyes found hers in the crowd and gave her a longing gaze. She couldn't help but give it back.

Jason returns to the bar to see that the party is starting to wind down. He sees Sam and McBain still talking. He watches as Sam laughs at something McBain says and touches his arm. It takes all of him not to go there and rip McBain's head off. He sighs and grabs his jacket.

"Jase, how are you doing?"

Jason turns around to see Carly.

"I'm fine."

"C'mon Jason, how long have I known you?"

He shook his head. He didn't feel like talking to Carly.

"How are you and Sam?"

"Not so good Carly. We're done."

"Done?"

"Yes, we are divorced."

"Jason, are you sure?"

"There are just too many lies and I can't trust her anymore."

"You can't give up Jason."

Jason turned to face Carly, anger simmering to the surface.

"Why does everyone keep telling me that? I'm not giving up, I'm moving on!"

"And what about your baby?"

"I promised Sam I would be the father to her child, but I can't be her husband anymore."

"Jason, you love Sam."

"I do love Sam, but not after this. I'm not in love with her anymore. I still care for her…but we're done."

Carly could see how upset and lonely Jason looked. He seemed defeated, something Carly had rarely witnessed.

"Tell Sonny happy birthday."

Carly nodded as she watched her best friend leave, shoulders slumped in defeat.

Jason rode as fast as he could, not really paying attention to where he was going. He made it back to his penthouse to see his bike. He immediately switched vehicles and drove. He drove everywhere and anywhere.

Maybe it was fate that he ended up at her house. Maybe it was his own heart's doing, but he didn't question it. He went up to her window to see that she was still awake.

His heart fluttered at the sight of her. He went to knock on the door, but stopped when he saw the scene in front of him.

Ewen had said something funny, causing Elizabeth to laugh so hard she stumbled over the leg of the table. Of course, Ewen caught her. They had a moment, and Ewen bent down to kiss her. Jason watched as she hesitated, and for one brief second he thought she was going to turn her head away, but she didn't.

Jason watched in disgust, but then remembered that Elizabeth wasn't his anymore. He had lost that right four long years ago. He drove to the bridge, recalling the last time he was here.

It had been the anniversary of Jake's death. He had come up here to feel closer to him, as well as Robin. Fate worked in mysterious ways because Elizabeth had come to the same conclusion. Jason remembered how the feelings he harbored for Elizabeth were brought out again on that night.

He had buried them deep, so deep because he was afraid if they ever came out again, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from taking her in his arms. He was so afraid that his love for her would return and this time he wouldn't be able to deny it, but even Jason Morgan, Mob Enforcer, couldn't stop the hands of Fate.

Dante crossed off the names on the suspects list. He had just dropped off Lulu at home after babysitting Cameron and Aiden. He wanted to solve this case so badly that it consumed him.

"Detective Falconeri, this was found on one of the victims."

The Head Medical Examiner handed him the plastic baggy of evidence. Labeled in big letters was name of the person whose DNA was found on Olivia.

"This can't be right. He can't be the killer. He's only a doctor."

"It is Detective."

The ME walked away as Dante sat there in horror. His mother's murderer worked at General Hospital. Dante had trusted him when he helped them out at the PCPD.

_Lie to me  
Watch me bleed_

"Detective, this just came in for you."

A police officer handed him a note. He wasn't sure if he could take anymore, but this note was worst than finding his mother's killer. Dante read it and almost threw up. He quickly gathered his belongings and sprinted out of the PCPD for home.

_Cause I'll still be here when you see  
You're not alone_

The whole car ride Dante's mind came up with the worst scenarios. He almost kicked down the door to find Lulu in bed reading.

"Dante, what are you doing?"

"Are you okay?"

"Dante, you're scaring me."

"I need to know if you're fine."

"Yes, I'm fine. What is this about?"

Dante sighed as he held his wife in their bed.

"The murderer of my mother just put a hit out on you."

"What…who?"

The sun was rising by the time Jason got home. He slowly walked up the steps. Waiting outside his door was someone he loathed to see.

_You don't have to run again  
Leave me in denial_

"Are you here to rub it in my face?"

"No, I'm here to warn you Morgan. You should have listened to me in the first place."

"Why should I listen to you? You're currently fucking my ex wife."

McBain sighed and handed the file to Jason.

"This is why I was with Sam. Nothing happened between us. I'm sorry if you feel otherwise, but you need to know the truth about Sam."

_All the pain you fed  
Starts to grow inside_

McBain walked away for Jason to read the file alone. He walked into his penthouse to read it, along with a bottle of whiskey.

He didn't tear his eyes away from the multitude of pages that comprised Sam McCall's detailed criminal history. Jason dropped the file in shock when he was finished.

 _It lives again and you can't let it die_  
So you believe you'll never find  
A reason to love again

Sam isn't pregnant. She blackmailed Dr. Lee into giving her fake sonograms.

_Lie to me  
And watch me bleed_

That wasn't the only vital piece of information. The last part made him want to throw up.

 _I'll be here when you see_  
You're not alone  
You don't need to run

She had been slipping drugs into his food and drink for the past four years. The drug caused him to behave out of character and forget long stretches of his memory.

_Lie to me  
Watch me bleed_

His latest surgery restored his brain and with it restored his memories. After being in a coma, the drug lost its effects. He remembered memories of the past four years. Sam must have started drugging him in December of 2008. Precisely when he had broke up with Elizabeth for good.

_Cause I'll still be here when you see  
You're not alone_

She was planning on taking down the Corinthos family from the inside, through him. She was the cause of the deaths of Shawn, Max, Spinelli and Olivia.

He couldn't even speak her name for the bile that was settling in his throat. The lies he had been fed made his heart rip in two.

"That fucking bitch."

He quickly grabbed his gun and left to find the murderer of some of his closest friends.

_You don't have to run again  
Leave me in denial_

"Did you give the cop your file?"

"Yes, I made sure he found it."

"Good, so now Morgan knows your real secrets?"

"My ex husband now knows what my real agenda is."

"I'm glad we're done with the mystery. The PCPD couldn't find a murderer even if they tried. I even sent that inferior Detective Falconeri clues, but he still couldn't figure it out. His mother hadn't been a challenge. Neither was precious Morgan's techie."

"I also planted the incriminating evidence at Spinelli's apartment. The PCPD will now be on the hunt for us."

"I thought after I killed Sonny's guards at his own warehouse he would have figured it out, but alas, these Port Charles Mob families have no idea what they're dealing with. My father is a much greater mobster than Corinthos will ever be. And now that they're vulnerable, its time to strike."

Sam smiled as she walked across the motel room to her lover.

"We've reached the next phase of our plan: revenge."

She grinned as she understood precisely what he meant by revenge.

"Elizabeth Webber won't know what hit her. She'll pay for everything she's ever done to me."

"Ms. Webber is certainly an exquisite woman, but you my dear, are far better."

_You can learn to love again  
Leave me in denial_

"That's good to know Dr. Keenan, or am I finally allowed to call you Damiano Soleito?"

_You can learn to love again  
Leave me in denial_


	13. Never Be The Same

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

 

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

 

**Chapter 13**

**_Never Be The Same_ **

"Lulu, it's not safe."

"Dante, you have to report him!"

Dante sighed as he leaned against the counter.

"He knows that we know about him. He wanted me to find the evidence. Hell, he practically gave it to me."

"So, what are we going to do?"

Dante looked at his wife.

"We're going to have to play his game."

Jason kicks down the wooden door, breaking it off its hinges. He pulls his gun up and aims it, but Sam is nowhere to be found.

"Damn it!"

Jason punches the wall, furious that she had escaped his grasp. He checks the room for any clues, but he knows that she wouldn't have left any.

He drives back to the penthouse, knowing he'll have to regroup there.

" _Breaking news. A body was found near the docks. It was identified as a female, brunette, about five foot seven. Police identified the body of Samantha McCall, daughter of the renowned defense attorney and ex wife of Jason Morgan, partner to known crime lord Sonny Corinthos. The body was brought into General Hospital earlier tonight, but McCall was pronounced dead in the ambulance."_

Jason slammed on the brakes. How could Sam be dead? He was sure no one else knew her secret, except for McBain. He couldn't have killed her, he wasn't like that. He would have turned her into the police first.

He quickly turned around and headed for General Hospital, contemplating how she could have died. The one question running through his mind was who killed her and why.

Jason entered the hospital to see Elizabeth at the nurse's desk with paparazzi milling around. Once they saw him, they quickly swarmed. He pushed his way through to Elizabeth and guided her into an empty conference room. He shut the door behind them.

 _I know you, who are you now?_  
Look into my eyes if you can't remember  
Do you remember? Oh

"Did you see her?"

"Yeah, I saw the body being taken down to the morgue."

Elizabeth watched Jason, trying to see past the mask currently on his face and trying to see his real feelings.

 _I can say, I can still find_  
You are the only voice my heart can recognize  
But I can hear you now, yeah

"Jase, I'm so sorry."

She wrapped her arms around him, and surprised him. He then quickly remembered that she didn't know the truth about Sam. It didn't mean that he rejected her embrace. He tightened his grasp around her waist and buried his face into her shoulder.

_I'll never be the same  
I'm caught inside the memories_

He finally let go, and she dabbed at her eyes.

"Do you know what happened?"

"They said that she died of some sort of blunt head trauma."

Jason sighed, knowing that Sam would have never drowned.

"Somehow, you already know this."

Jason nodded as he sat down in a seat.

"I just… I don't know what to think."

Elizabeth sat down next to him and took a breath.

"You know, when I thought Lucky died in that fire thirteen years ago… I thought my life had ended. I didn't know how I was going to move on. I didn't know how I was going to get up in the morning and go about my regular routine. I had no idea how to live anymore. Somehow I found a way, and you know what it was?"

_The promises, our yesterdays  
And I belong to you_

Jason shook his head as she took his hand in hers.

 _I just can't walk away_  
'Cause after loving you  
I can never be the same

"You. Jason you helped me move on from Lucky, and I'm always going to be grateful for that. You taught me how to live life after a tragedy. You taught me how to move on and not look back with regrets. And that's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to be here for you, no matter what."

_And how can I pretend I never knew you  
Like it was all a dream, no_

Jason smiled and squeezed her hand.

"I'm going to go get changed. I'll be right back."

Jason nodded and watched as she left the room. He stood up and ran a hand through his hair. The paparazzi had finally left and he waited outside near the nurse's station.

He turned around to see her walking down the staircase. She looked breathtaking in a simple pink sweater and jeans. He smiled as she walked closer towards him, causing his heart to flutter in his chest.

Jason noticed that she was carrying a bouquet of flowers in her hands. He gave her a puzzling look.

"Those are nice."

"They're for Jake. I was planning on going to the cemetery after work, but after… well I'd understand-"

Jason felt like the wind was knocked out of him. It was May 4th. Five years to the day his son was born. His eyes teared up, as well as Elizabeth's. It had already been a hard enough day with Sam's death, but now it was Jake's birthday.

"His birthday."

Elizabeth smiled as he recalls the day he was born.

"Five years old. Can you imagine?"

Jason smiled. He definitely could imagine Jake running around with one of those cone-shaped birthday hats on his head with Elizabeth right on his heels.

"What do you think he would be doing right now?"

"I know he'd be riding his birthday present. I'd get him this two-wheeled scooter that's way too fast for a boy his age."

They both laughed as they pictured Jake zooming down the street on his new scooter.

"That sounds like a good present."

"Yeah, he'd love it. You're welcome to come with me... only if you want."

 _I know I'll never forget_  
The way I always felt with you beside me  
And how you loved me then

He smiled at her offer. He held his arm out for her to loop hers through. She smiled, knowing that he couldn't have said no even if he tried.

"I'd really like that."

"Let me see the note again."

Lulu hands the note from Ewen to Dante.

" _I thought detectives were supposed to solve crimes. It's taken you incompetent fools too long to find the 'Port Charles Killer' so I'm going to lend you a hand. The name starts with an 'E' and ends with 'wen'. Yes, I killed Sonny's thugs. Then the computer nerd was the one who actually figured out my secret, so of course he had to go. Then your whore of a mother walked in and had to ruin it all. It's nothing personal, she was collateral damage. Now that you know my secret, you're going to have to play by my rules. No leaving your apartment and no calls are to be received or sent. I will have you monitored 24/7, so no funny business. Anything happens, and more people start to die. Starting with your families. Another note like this will be sent soon with further instructions. I trust you to follow my rules or well… you know what will happen, Detective."_

Dante shook his head. He couldn't believe that Ewen was capable of this. The guy had never let on a sociopath side of him.

After staying with Elizabeth at Jake's grave for an hour, Jason returned to his penthouse, exhausted. Sam was dead, so hopefully her secrets died with her. That didn't stop Jason from sending Sonny a message. He also posted guards outside of Elizabeth's house, just to be sure.

The next morning Elizabeth picked Emma up from Patrick's house to drop her off at daycare with Cameron and Aiden. She survived another day of work, but she seemed distracted most of the day. She couldn't help herself; he was on her mind all the time lately. She couldn't possibly imagine what he was going through right now. His ex-wife was murdered, along with her unborn child. Of course, she could imagine the losing a child part.

Being at Jake's grave was hard last night, but it was easier with Jason there with her. He was the only one who could understand what she was going through.

After changing out her scrubs, she went down to the daycare and picked up Cameron, Emma and Aiden. She dropped off Cameron at a sleepover and took Emma and Aiden to Kelly's for dinner.

Once they were seated, Elizabeth got crayons out for Emma and tended to Aiden in his stroller.

"I don't like these."

Emma pushed the crayons off the table. She was in a rare mood today, and Elizabeth didn't know what to do for her. Her father was still grieving her mother's death. Patrick should be there for his daughter, but he was in a dark place.

"Emma, that's not okay, that's how we lose our crayons."

Elizabeth starts to get up and pick up the crayons when she sees someone already picking them up.

"Here, I'll get it."

They both looked up and she smiled.

"Hi."

Jason nodded as he handed the crayons back to Emma.

"Looks like you have your hands full."

Elizabeth laughed as she checked Aiden in his stroller. She looked beautiful today, wearing another sweater, but this one was a deep purple. He kept staring at her, reveling in this chance meeting. He admitted to himself, it wasn't really chance. He saw Elizabeth walk in with Emma and Aiden when he passed by in his car and immediately turned around in the middle of traffic.

"Yeah, thank goodness Cameron is at a sleepover. Aiden has been so cranky, and he's finally fallen asleep. I have Emma because Patrick's been doing consults at Mercy."

Jason pulled a chair beside Emma.

"I want Daddy."

"I know baby, but Daddy's working, remember? So why don't you draw him a nice picture and we can give it to him later?"

Emma crossed her arms over her chest, reminding Jason and Elizabeth of how Robin would get when she was being stubborn.

"No, I want my Mommy."

Jason and Elizabeth looked at each other, not really knowing what to say. Jason decided to take the lead on this one. He scooted closer to Emma and leaned over to her level.

"Emma, your mom and I were friends, a long time ago. She taught me a lot of stuff I didn't know."

This had perked Emma's interest and her attitude seemed to dissipate. Jason looked to Elizabeth and she nodded for him to go on.

"Like what?"

"Like how to play checkers, how to cook spaghetti, and how to say goodbye. She went to Paris once and I missed her a lot."

Elizabeth watched him, entranced by how he talked to Emma like an adult. She couldn't help herself think of how this should have been with Jason and Jake.

"Mommy's in heaven now."

Elizabeth wiped a stray tear from her cheek and Jason noticed. He gave her a small smile, and then looked back at Emma.

"I know. You know sometimes when I miss your mom, I just close my eyes and I picture her smiling. And I try and hear her voice, and all the things she taught me."

Both Jason and Emma closed their eyes. Jason was the first to open his. He saw Elizabeth watching him with wonder and something else. He couldn't quite place it, but it made her sapphire orbs sparkle with awe.

"Like how to cook spaghetti?"

Jason shook his head, not realizing how long he had been staring at Elizabeth. He smiled at Emma and laughed.

"Right, like how to cook spaghetti. And I remember how much she said she loved you. And how she's always going to be with you."

"You know that, right? She's always going to be in your heart."

Elizabeth reached over to hold onto Emma's hands. She smiled up at Elizabeth and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"I know, I can feel her there."

Emma pointed to her heart and Elizabeth smiles.

"Good. Why don't you draw your dad a beautiful picture so he can hang it in his office?"

Elizabeth motions for Jason to move from the table to talk in private.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Yeah, yeah she should. Patrick's been working a whole lot and that's just how he's grieving right now. I don't blame him. She misses both of her parents."

"Well, she seems pretty smart. I'm sure she's going to be just like Robin."

They both laughed as they remembered one of their closest friends.

"DNA is a powerful thing. Aiden sings all the time and I know he gets that from Lucky. And Jake was exactly like you."

_I'll never be the same  
I'm caught inside the memories_

Elizabeth stopped short. There was a large gaping hole in both of their hearts that used to be occupied by Jake. Now that he was gone, there was nothing left to fill those holes, but each day it got easier and easier. She looked up into Jason's eyes, who's electrifying blue orbs reflected the same sadness and pain she was feeling in her heart.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's okay. I like it when you talk about him."

Elizabeth nodded and ran a hand through her hair. She wiped away a stray tear.

"Thanks for coming with me last night to his grave."

_The promises, our yesterdays  
And I belong to you_

Jason gave her a small smile and grasped one of her small hands in his and gave it a squeeze. It forced her to look up at him.

"I'm glad you asked me."

 _I just can't walk away_  
'Cause after loving you  
I can never be the same

They continued to stare, steadily moving closer and closer to each other. There was a pull between them, something they couldn't fight. Jason lays one of his hands on her face, cupping her cheek. She closes her eyes at his touch, reveling in their closeness until he suddenly pulls back. He politely coughs and she turns around to see Anna and Luke walk in.

 _You left me here then I watched you disappear_  
You left this emptiness inside  
And I can't turn back time

Elizabeth places some space between her and Jason, knowing that if Anna and Luke hadn't walked in, things would have escalated quickly between the two past lovers.

Anna sits down next to Emma. Luke peers into Aiden's stroller.

"Oh, looks who here!"

Emma smiles as she gives her grandmother a hug.

"Wow, he looks more like Lucky every time I see him."

Elizabeth politely smiles as Luke reaches into the stroller to hold Aiden. Jason feels Elizabeth tense up beside him and he slowly reaches down for her hand. He holds onto it, giving her strength.

He knows how hard it must be for her to watch the killer of one of her sons hold another. It was taking all of his self control to not kill the man in front of him.

"Do you wanna color with me?"

Anna notices the tension between Luke, Elizabeth and Jason.

"Sure, I would love to color with you."

Elizabeth gives Jason's hand a squeeze before she lets go and sits down in her seat.

Jason watches her, making sure she's okay before he moves on to Luke. Jason nods his head towards a secluded corner and Luke nods. He hands Aiden back to Elizabeth and follows Jason.

"I have something to say to you. About Jake. I heard about the charity you set up in Jake's name."

Luke carefully watches for Jason's temper to rise, but it never does.

"I wasn't trying to lessen your loss-"

"He deserves to be remembered in a special way... so thank you."

Luke nods and walks back to the table. Jason watches the family sit around, having a good time. Elizabeth looks up at him and walks over to him.

"I gotta take care of something with Sonny. I'll see you at Cameron's party."

Elizabeth nods her head.

"Okay, I hope everything goes well with you and Sonny. I'm going to be thinking about you."

 _No, stay_  
Nothing compares to you, nothing compares to you  
I can't let you go, can't let you go, I can't let go

Elizabeth touches his forearm, sending a shock of electricity up his arm. They both notice the shock and blush. Jason smiles at her.

"You too."

A week passed. Sam's death had taken a toll on the Davis family. Jason didn't have the heart to tell them of her secrets. The only one who knew was Sonny.

To Jason's surprise, he had seen Elizabeth every day that week. They would run into each other all over Port Charles. She would invite him over for dinner, and he never declined. He liked having dinner with Elizabeth, Cameron and Aiden. He would always help clean up afterwards and help Elizabeth put Cameron and Aiden to bed.

He would leave soon after, but he always hated leaving. He wanted to stay, but he knew that would be too big of a step. Before he left, he would sit with Elizabeth and talk with her. They would talk about their day, or anything else. It reminded him of all the talks they used to have.

Anthony reads the paper in disbelief. This couldn't be right.

"Dr. Keenan, you bastard."

He rips the paper into pieces and throws them on the floor. He opens the door of Johnny's penthouse to see the bastard on his mind standing on the other side with a gun.

"You bastard."

Damiano grins as he motions for Anthony to walk back inside. Anthony complies and Damiano closes the door behind him. Anthony walks over to the small bar to pour himself a glass of whiskey.

"So, you finally figured out my secret."

"I guess we're family now, aren't we?"

Anthony dryly laughed as he turned back around to face Damiano.

"What do you want Soleito?"

"Revenge."

"I did nothing to your father, may he rest in peace."

"On the contrary, my father is not dead."

Anthony choked on his whiskey as Damiano smiled.

"Oh, you didn't know?"

"How is he alive?"

Damiano walked around the penthouse, looking at various trinkets Johnny had lying around.

"Your son- sorry your grandson- has quite the penthouse."

"Answer the question Soleito."

Damiano whirled around, gun aimed at Anthony's head.

"I don't think you're the one to be asking questions. I'm the one with the gun, remember?"

Anthony shook his head as he poured himself another glass.

"My father is alive as can be and he's been biding his time, waiting for the sorry excuses of mobsters in this town to be thrown into chaos. Of course, I'm the one that created said chaos."

Anthony sat down on the couch to listen to Damiano's nefarious plans, waiting for his time to strike.

"Your son has become quite the gangster, hasn't he?"

"Johnny has nothing to do with this."

"On the contrary, he does. He's the reason my father was almost killed. Him and his whore of a mother Claudia, your daughter."

"You know?"

Damiano grinned at Anthony's shocked face.

"Yes, I know of Claudia's secret that she tried to take to the grave. Unfortunately, secrets always have a way of coming out. How do you think Luke found out in the first place?"

"You told Spencer?"

"No, I discreetly led him to the birth certificate. He was the one who gave it to Sonny. I'm not the one to blame."

"Why are you here? To kill me?"

Damiano chuckled as he continued to walk around, unfazed by Anthony's presence.

"Your grandson was the reason my mother left me. Once she heard of my father's affair, she left me in a heartbeat, not even looking back. If anyone should pay, it's him. My father tried to follow after her, but her own father was a mobster from another family. He almost died trying to get her back, finally learning that she didn't want to come back. That's when he kicked Claudia and little Johnny out and back onto your doorstep."

"Johnny's your brother, why would you kill him?"

Damiano cocked the gun, aiming it at Anthony's head. The anger blazed in his eyes.

"Johnny is a bastard and only my half brother."

"He still has the same blood as your running through his veins."

"No, he has the cheap blood of your daughter running through his."

Anthony lunged at Damiano, but he was much faster. Three shots were fired before Anthony reached Damiano.

He held Anthony in his arms as he died.

"Listen to this old man. This is a message for Johnny. Tell him I'm coming for him."

Damiano shoved Anthony to the ground and walked out of the penthouse.

Jason sat on the bench by the docks, remembering all the conversations he shared with Elizabeth. Those were some of his favorite memories, including the one where he came back and she was the first one who saw him. He could remember how she ran into his arms and hugged him. He could remember how right it felt with her in his arms.

He wasn't paying enough attention to see that someone had walked up beside him.

"Hey."

He looked up to see Elizabeth standing there.

"Hey."

"What are you doing out here?"

Jason smiled as he moved over on the bench, allowing Elizabeth to sit beside him.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I was on my way to Kelly's to pick up Cameron's birthday dinner."

"Isn't his birthday tomorrow?"

"Yeah, but we do this kind of ritual where it's just the three of us, well used to be four with Jake, where I would get the kids their favorite meals and celebrate their birthdays the night before."

 _I'll never be the same_  
Not after loving you  
Not after loving you

Jason smiled, but inside he felt this pain in his heart. He felt like he should be there with them, celebrating birthdays and spending time as a family.

"How's Alexis?"

Jason sighed and sat back against the bench.

"She's a mess. I've never seen her so distraught."

Elizabeth nodded.

"A parent should ever have to bury their child."

_I'll never be the same  
I'm caught inside the memories_

Jason looked up to see Elizabeth trying to hide her tears. He reached an arm around her petite shoulders, trying to comfort her.

_The promises, our yesterdays  
And I belong to you_

She moved into his embrace, and he knew that he shouldn't feel good that she's crying, but it allowed him to hold her like he used to. He wrapped his other arm around her, allowing her to nuzzle into his chest.

 _I just can't walk away_  
'Cause after loving you  
I can never be the same

Elizabeth finally composed herself, but didn't move away from him. She didn't want to ruin the moment.

"How have you been doing?"

Jason sighed as Elizabeth looked up into his eyes.

"I know Sam had a lot of flaws, but I still loved her. By the end it was just too much and I had to walk away. I think I will always love her, but I'm not in love with anymore."

Elizabeth nodded as she put her head against his shoulder. They sat in silence, enjoying the way how he held her in his arms, like he was never going to let anything happen to her. She had always dreamed of these kinds of moments.

"Maybe alone's better. That way no one gets hurt."

Elizabeth sat up in shock to see the evident pain on his face. She brought her hand up to his face to run her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes at her touch.

"Except you- even if you can't admit it."

Jason opened his eyes and smiled at her comfort.

"I'm going to be okay. But I'm not- I'm not sure I would've been if you hadn't shown up."

Elizabeth nodded and laid her head back down against his shoulder. He gave her a light kiss on the top of her head and continued to hold her. After some time she moved to get up.

"Did you want to come with me?"

Jason looked at her with wonder.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

It was second time she had asked him that in two days. He followed her up the steps and walked with her to Kelly's. She rambled about Cameron's gifts that she getting him. He listened in silence, occasionally asking her questions, but he reveled in the way she talked to him, as if they had never spent time apart.

All the buried feelings he had for her rushed at him at full speed. He walked her home and hesitated at the door. She turned around and gave him a look.

"Come on."

She smiled as he shyly held the door open for her. she walked in, placing the dinner on the table. Cameron came running down the steps with the babysitter right behind him.

"Hi, Miss Webber."

"thank you so much for watching them Jenny."

"It was no problem."

Jason stands off to the side until Jenny left. Cameron notices him at once.

"Jason!"

He runs into his arms and jumps up. Jason catches him and holds him close. The sight of Jason holding Cameron almost brought tears to Elizabeth's eyes.

"I'm going to go check on Aiden."

Jason nodded as he led Cameron over to the table.

"Are you going to stay for dinner Jason?"

"Only if you want me to."

"Of course I do, silly."

Jason smiled as he sat Cameron in his chair. He watched as Elizabeth came back downstairs with Aiden in her arms. He gets dinner out, macaroni and cheese. He chuckles as he dishes some out onto Cameron's plate. He puts more on Elizabeth's plate as she places Aiden in his high chair.

They ate and talked, well Cameron mainly talked about his day. Jason laughed at his ramblings. Jason could definitely tell he was exactly like Elizabeth. She occasionally glanced at Jason, who had a smile on his face the whole time.

They stole glances at each other, knowing how important this night was and how it felt. The same feelings were running through their minds. This is how their lives could have been.

Once Cameron and Aiden had been put to bed, they had reached the end of their evening together. They both knew what this meant. Jason would leave again.

He knew that he shouldn't be spending this much time with Elizabeth. It wasn't fair to her because she had fought for their relationship and he was the one that walked away. Of course, he didn't want to walk away, but he had to protect them.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Elizabeth nodded as he leaned against the open door. She put her hand on the knob, trying to fight the tears coming to her eyes, but she couldn't. She closed her eyes, fighting back the pain her heart when she felt something cool on her cheeks.

Jason reached down and kissed away her tears. Her eyes fluttered open in surprise to see him inches away from her.

He smiled and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. She stood there in shock for a minute after he had left.

_I can never be the same  
I will never be the same_

Elizabeth raised a hand to her cheek. She knew that this past week had been special. She hadn't spent this much time with Jason in four years. She would be lying to herself if she said she didn't enjoy it. It gave her a glimpse of what could have been with Jason.

She would also be lying to herself if she said she didn't feel something for Jason because she does. She always has and always will. Those feelings never went away; she just buried them deep inside her heart. Being with Jason was easy as breathing air.

If Jason ever had another shot with her, he knew he would make it work this time. He knew Elizabeth was the one for him. When they had broken up, his heart went with her. She didn't give it back and he would do everything he could to make sure that she would never have to give it back.

_I just can't walk away  
No, I can't walk away from you_


	14. Take It All Away

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

 

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

 

**Chapter 14**

**_Take It All Away_ **

"Grandfather?"

Johnny walked into his apartment, knowing that Anthony has been hiding out here for some time.

He closed the door behind him and sat down on the couch, then almost fainted.

There on the ground was his grandfather, blood pooled around him, permanently staining the rug.

Johnny froze, not quite believing the scene below him. It suddenly clicked in his head and he rushed to Anthony's side.

He checked his pulse, to feel it beating ever so slowly beneath his fingers. He picked up Anthony's head and placed it in his lap.

"Grandfather, wake up! Damn it! Wake up!"

Johnny keeps shaking him, and starts to lose hope. Suddenly, Anthony's eyes shoot open, and he looks around in surprise.

"Grandfather, what the hell happened? Who did this to you?"

Anthony coughed. His blood was rushing into his lungs. He struggles to breathe, knowing that he doesn't have much time left. He had hung on for so long.

"John…Johnny…"

"Who shot you?"

"Soleito…"

Johnny looked at him with utter shock. Did he mean his father or another Soleito?

"My father?"

Anthony shook his head, which caused him to cough more. Blood started to pour out of his mouth and his eyes started to roll back in his head.

"Damn it; tell me who did this to you!"

"I'm so sorry John…it was…Ew-"

After suffering another bout of coughing, Anthony shudders for the last time. Johnny holds his grandfather's head in disbelief. His grandfather couldn't be dead. After all these years, after everything they've been through.

"Come on, Anthony, wake up."

Tears poured down his face. He had never expected that he would cry for his grandfather's death, but now that he had to face a long life without his grandfather's advice, as twisted as it was, seemed unbelievable.

"You have to wake up. I need you."

Johnny let go of the only father figure he had known, and sat against the couch, knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around his shins, and head bent in grief.

* * *

 

Jason knocks on the door, Cameron's gift in his one hand and his other deeply rooted in his jeans' pocket in anxiety.

He knows his late, probably too late. His meeting with Sonny had run over, and he had driven his car to its limit to get here.

Its dark out and they're probably all in bed. There are no cars in the driveway, so all the guests must have left.

The door swings open in front of him and she's standing there. She crosses her arms over her chest in irritation, and he oddly finds it cute. She's in black yoga pants and a black v-neck t-shirt with her hair in a neat ponytail. He could tell she was ready for bed.

He offers her a smile, and she teasingly rolls her eyes as she lets him in. She closes the door behind him and leads him to the couch.

"Do you want something to drink?"

Jason shook his head as he shrugged off his jacket and hung it up on the coat hanger. He sat Cameron's present down on the floor. It was rather heavy. Elizabeth came back in from the kitchen with a slice of cake on a plate.

He took it from her hands, nodding his thanks. She joined him on the couch. He ate in silence, trying to think up a reasonable excuse for why he missed such an important event.

Elizabeth also sat in silence, occasionally stealing glances at him. Once he was finished he placed the plate on the table and sat back on the couch.

"Where's Cameron?"

"He's upstairs, waiting for you."

Jason nodded, feeling like she punched him in the gut.

"I'm sorry-"

Elizabeth waved her hand at him.

"I don't want to hear why you're sorry. I know you have a job. I still understand what that means after all these years."

Jason nodded once again.

"I hope you can forgive me for being late."

He looked over at her, staring at her with his electric blue eyes. Finally she had looked up from her hands to lock her gaze with his.

_You've stripped me down, the layers fall like rain.  
It's over now, just innocence and instinct still remain._

He lost himself in her alluring sapphire orbs for minutes, until he heard padded footsteps on the stairs. He reluctantly tore his gaze from her to see her eldest son standing on the foot of the steps.

"Jason? You're here!"

Cameron comes sprinting around the couch and jumps into Jason's arms. Jason laughs as he grabs Cameron and settles him on his lap. He looks over to see Elizabeth smiling. What he wouldn't give to see her smiling everyday.

"Happy Birthday Cam! How old are you again?"

Cameron ponders his question for a moment, and then holds up eight fingers.

"Eight? Are you sure? It seems like yesterday you fit in the crook of my arm."

"I was that small?"

Jason laughed at Cameron's incredulous look. He then looked over at Elizabeth to see a sparkle in her eyes. He gave her a small smile and then looked back at Cameron.

"Yeah, all babies are that tiny when they're born. Do you want to open your present?"

Cameron furiously nods his head and Jason picks it up off the floor. Cameron's eyes grow wide at the sheer size of the box wrapped in Batman gift-wrap. Jason settles Cameron on the couch in between him and Elizabeth, holding the box for Cameron because it was so heavy.

He tears away the paper and shouts in surprise. Once the paper was ripped away, Cameron jumped up in joy. It was a red Razor scooter.

Cameron gives Jason a hug, and Jason closes his eyes as the small boy wraps his small arms around his neck. Jason revels in the moment, knowing that this is how it should be every birthday.

Cameron quickly jumps off the couch and runs upstairs to find his helmet. Jason sits the box down on the floor to see Elizabeth smiling, yet something was wrong.

Jason moves closer to her to wipe her tears off her face.

_You watched me while I slowly disappeared.  
I reached for you to save me; you were frozen in your fear._

"Please don't be sad."

Elizabeth grins, which totally throws off Jason.

"I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I'm happy."

_Take it all away  
Take it all away_

Jason grins as Elizabeth starts to laugh.

"Well, why don't we leave tears for sadness and smiles for happiness?"

Elizabeth nods her head.

"Mama, can I go ride my scooter?"

Elizabeth and Jason turn around to see Cameron with his helmet on his head. He gives his mother the "puppy dog eyes" and Jason looks at Elizabeth.

She pretends to think about her decision, but Jason knew she was just teasing Cameron.

"Mama, please?"

"Fine, but wait for me please!"

Elizabeth stands up while Cameron tears open the box. Jason helps him pull the box open and set the scooter up.

"I'm going to go check on Aiden. Do you mind watching him for a minute?"

_Take it all away  
Take it all away_

Jason turned around to see Elizabeth standing near the steps. Words escaped him for in that moment, it seemed like he was in a dream. Elizabeth was trusting him with her children, something he thought he would never gain again.

He nods and watches Cameron open the door to go outside.

"Make sure he stays in the driveway."

"Sure."

Jason grabs his jacket and watches Elizabeth disappear upstairs. He sits on the top step of the porch, watching Cameron ride in circles in the driveway.

Elizabeth soon joins him with Aiden in her arms. She sits close to him, almost too close. He notices and tries so hard to ignore the physical attractiveness he was feeling for her.

"How's work?"

"It's good to be back. After being suspended, I had no idea how I was going to stay in that house and provide for my sons. Miraculously, Monica gave me a second chance, although I don't know why. I stole those drugs."

"Yeah, but you were trying to help Lucky."

Elizabeth nodded as she thought about her first love and the father of her youngest son.

"How's it going with you and that doctor?"

"Which one?"

Elizabeth grinned as she thought of her two suitors, Matt and Ewen.

"There are two?"

He knew it was coming, but the roll of jealousy hit him hard.

"Well, I suppose Matt isn't really an option. I'm not really sure what's going on with him and Maxie, and I do not want to come in between them. it was bad enough when she was involved with Lucky six years ago."

Jason nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about. Somewhere in his heart, he was glad that Maxie had interfered with Lucky and Elizabeth's marriage. It had given him Elizabeth for one brief night.

"And the other?"

"Ewen? I haven't seen him in awhile. I don't think it's going to work out for us. There's just no spark."

If she wanted to be true to herself, she hadn't felt that "spark" since Jason. Of course, she didn't want to admit that to him and make herself sound pathetic and desperate.

_Circling the pain inside my soul.  
I reached inside your silence to steal what you won't show._

If he wanted to be true to himself, he was ecstatic on the inside, knowing that he was truly the one that given her the most passion. Of course, that meant that she hadn't been happy in four years and he didn't want that.

"I'm sorry that it didn't work out."

"I'm not. Maybe I'm just destined to be a single mother."

She looked down at Aiden to tickle his stomach. He giggled and reached for her hand. He wrapped his hand around her thumb and she kissed him on the forehead.

Jason watched her with wonder. He never quite got to experience her in mommy mode and it actually attracted him to her even more.

He forced himself to look away to watch Cameron, who was still riding on his scooter.

"I think any guy would be lucky to call you his wife and they're stupid if they never realized how perfect you really are."

He had stunned her, and stunned himself. He quickly wanted to change the topic. He wasn't used to opening his heart and being vulnerable.

_I tried to find the answers in my fears.  
But what was found is lost again as soon as it appeared._

"I see Cameron likes his present."

Elizabeth laughed, causing Jason to look back at her. He loved her laugh, even though he shouldn't.

"I don't think I'm ever going to get him off of it."

"I'm glad he likes it."

"I'm sure Jake would have loved it too."

Jason sheepishly smiled, hoping that he hadn't upset her.

"I was at the toy store, and remembered our conversation at the hospital the night we went to Jake's grave, and I saw the scooter. I'm sorry if I-"

"Jason, why are you apologizing?"

"I just hate it when you're upset and it's my fault."

Jason turned his head, but Elizabeth reached up and touched his cheek, forcing him to look back at her.

"You can never hurt me."

_Take it all away  
Take it all away_

"Yes I can."

Elizabeth sighed as she adjusted Aiden in her lap.

"I hurt you four years ago."

"Jason, I've moved on and accepted your decision. I understand why you did it."

"That didn't make it any easier."

Jason sighed. He hated himself in that moment four years ago when they broke up for the final time.

"It's never easy Jason. And the hardest part of letting go is knowing what could have been."

_Take it all away  
Take it all away_

Silence emitted from the both of them, everything was quiet except for Aiden babbling and Cameron riding his scooter.

"Can you forgive me?"

Elizabeth looked at Jason in surprise.

"Forgive you for what?"

"For breaking your heart."

Elizabeth sighed. She hadn't expected this conversation tonight, but knew that it was inevitable.

"People make mistakes, and if you don't forgive them, then you're just as bad."

"Who told you that?"

"You did."

"I did?"

"Well, not in those exact words, but you taught me how to have no regrets. Jason, I don't regret any of the moments we shared together, good or bad, because it meant being with you. Of course, it hurt like hell in that courthouse, but I guess we just weren't meant to be."

_I'm breaking; I can't do this on my own.  
Can you hear me screaming out, am I all alone?_

Her words stung at his heart. He wanted her to know that he didn't feel that way anymore. He wanted her to know that she was the one for him. He wanted her to know that he loves her. Jason wanted so much, but he had learned that wanting never got you far, only doing.

_You take away  
You take away_

In that moment, everything changed. He wanted to pursue her, no matter how long it took. Maybe months, maybe years, it didn't matter. Life was too short and he was tired of being unhappy. He wanted his family back. It didn't matter how much begging he had to do. It didn't matter if he had to lay out his heart on the line for her to see how much he loved her. The only thing that mattered was her saying yes.

Jason watched Cameron, thinking of how life could have been if he had never broken up with Elizabeth. Cameron would be calling him Dad and Jake might still be alive.

"Elizabeth, there's something I-"

She turns to look at him, noticing the serious tone in his voice, but hears her cell phone go off. She digs in her pocket and pulls it out. She reads the text and Jason notices the frown on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go in. Emergency procedure at GH and all surgical nurses are needed."

She frantically stood up.

"I need someone to watch Cameron and Aiden. God, I need to call Jenny. Cameron, can you come inside? Its time for bed!"

Cameron groans and follows his mother inside. Jason is left out on the porch with one idea on his mind.

"Elizabeth, I can watch them."

Elizabeth whirls around to face him, Aiden still in her arms. Cameron picks up on the conversation.

"Can Jason stay over? We can have a sleepover! Please Mama?"

She nervously looks between the three boys. Jason's head slightly tilts. She barely nods her head. Cameron rushes off to his room and Elizabeth tries to gather her things.

"My cell phone number is on the fridge, along with Lulu's, Audrey's and of course, you know 911. I shouldn't be too long. Food's in the fridge. Aiden's diaper might need to be changed-"

Jason walks up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Elizabeth, take a breath."

She follows his instructions and he smiles.

"It's going to be fine. I promise I won't let anything happen to them. You can trust me."

_You take away  
You take away_

She stares at him for moment, really letting his words sink in.

"I trust you."

Jason carefully takes Aiden out of her arms, and settles him on his hip.

"I'll call you to let you know when I'm leaving."

Jason nods as Elizabeth walks out the door. She turns around to see Jason holding Aiden in his arms and Cameron with his arms wrapped around Jason's waist.

"Please be good for Jason."

"I promise Mama."

Elizabeth looks back one more time before she closes the door behind her.

* * *

 

Johnny sits on the couch, gun and a glass of Scotch on the table in front of him. After having Anthony's body picked up, he was exhausted. Soon it was going to be public knowledge that Anthony Zacchara, head of the Zacchara organization is dead. He's going over names in his head of people his grandfather could have known that started with "Ew".

It hit him like a ton of bricks when he finally figured it out. How could it have been Ewen? He is a shrink. He's dating Elizabeth Webber. Why would he kill Anthony?

There was no motive, but why would Anthony lie on his deathbed. There must be something else.

Maybe Ewen's not his real name. Johnny looks around for anything his grandfather may have left. He searches everywhere, but can't find anything until he finds a small piece of paper underneath the couch.

Johnny reads it in horror. Ewen Keenan is an alias for Damiano Soleito, son of crime lord Gino Soleito, otherwise known as Johnny's biological father.

"Ewen's my brother? And he killed Anthony?"

He must have killed Anthony because he found out his secret. Johnny finished the Scotch and picked up his gun. He checked to make sure there were bullets and quickly headed out the door, searching for answers and revenge.

"You sure he's dead?"

Milo nodded, then turned on the TV. Masses of reporters had swarmed General Hospital as Mac Scorpio came out to issue an official statement.

" _Anthony Zacchara, the head of the Zacchara organization, was pronounced dead at 11:37pm on May 11th after multiple gunshot wounds. As of right now, this is being ruled as a homicide and the PCPD have opened an investigation. No suspects have been found, but if you have information, please don't hesitate to call."_

Milo turned it back leaned back in his chair. He couldn't believe Anthony was dead, but he was glad. He was unstable and Sonny had no idea how to deal with him. Luckily, he had an alibi for tonight. He had been with Kate at one of her events after meeting with Jason.

"So the bastard's really dead. Good riddance."

Sonny turned off the TV.

"That's not all boss."

Milo handed him a slip of paper. Sonny read it, and almost dropped his glass of whiskey.

"Is this true?"

"Spencer was the one who had given the information to Anthony."

"Ewen Keenan, the psychiatrist at General Hospital, is the one who killed Anthony Zacchara and is actually Damiano Soleito, son of crime lord Gino Soleito?"

Milo nodded his head.

"Well, things just got interesting."

* * *

 

Elizabeth closed the door behind her and leaned against it in exhaustion. She took off her coat and longed to go to bed.

_You take away  
You take away_

She looked up to see Jason on the couch, holding a sleeping Aiden in his arms. Elizabeth smiled at the sight in front of her and quietly walked over to Jason.

"I didn't want to wake him."

"It's okay."

Elizabeth gently moved Aiden out of Jason's arms and into hers.

"I'll be right back."

Jason nodded as he watched Elizabeth walk up the steps with Aiden in her arms. He stood up and walked over to the mantle. He was immediately drawn to a picture of Elizabeth, Cameron and Jake. It had been taken a few years ago. Jason smiled, seeing how happy Jake was in the picture.

He turned around when he heard Elizabeth coming back down the steps.

"Thank you so much for watching them."

"I didn't mind."

Elizabeth nodded.

"I should let you get some sleep."

He walked over and grabbed his leather jacket, pulling it on.

"I hope Cameron had a good birthday."

"I'm think he did, all thanks to you. His scooter was lying right beside his bed."

Jason laughed.

"Yeah, he had tried to go to bed with it."

"I'm sure he did."

Jason rocked back on his heels and shoved his hands in his jeans' pockets. He couldn't help but stare at her. They stood there in silence, everything being said with their eyes.

"It was good seeing you Elizabeth."

Jason pulled her into his arms, holding her for a brief moment. She smelled of vanilla, and it smelled so good. He closed his eyes and tried to memorize this feeling in his heart, giving him something to hold on to until he saw her again.

He felt her arms around his waist and she buried her head into his chest. Finally, he let go.

"I'll be seeing you."

_You take away  
You take away_

He stunned her yet again by leaving her with a kiss on the cheek. The skin where his lips touched felt hot to the touch and lit a spark in her heart. Her cheeks blushed and she unconsciously moved her hand up to her face.

He grinned as he closed the door behind him, knowing how much closer he was to her heart. He knew it was an uphill battle, but would never give up because Elizabeth and her boys was his family and home.

_You take away  
You take away_


	15. Let Go

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

 

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

 

**Chapter 15**

**_Let Go_ **

_Previously on Start Again…_

_Jason rocked back on his heels and shoved his hands in his jeans' pockets. He couldn't help but stare at her. They stood there in silence, everything being said with their eyes._

" _It was good seeing you Elizabeth."_

_Jason pulled her into his arms, holding her for a brief moment. She smelled of vanilla, and it smelled so good. He closed his eyes and tried to memorize this feeling in his heart, giving him something to hold on to until he saw her again._

_He felt her arms around his waist and she buried her head into his chest. Finally, he let go._

" _I'll be seeing you."_

_He stunned her yet again by leaving her with a kiss on the cheek. The skin where his lips touched felt hot to the touch and lit a spark in her heart. Her cheeks blushed and she unconsciously moved her hand up to her face._

_He grinned as he closed the door behind him, knowing how much closer he was to her heart. He knew it was an uphill battle, but would never give up because Elizabeth and her boys was his family and home._

It was August 7th, three months to the day since Jake's fifth birthday. Elizabeth looked down to see Aiden in her lap, playing with his toys. She placed her arms on his stomach and he looked up at her.

"Mama."

She smiled and kissed him on the top of his head. His second birthday had been less than month ago. It seems like it was just yesterday that he was born.

Elizabeth could remember how she had gone with Nikolas to the nursery after giving birth to her third son, only to find him missing.

It felt like Jake's kidnapping all over again, except this time Jason wasn't there to help her.

Lucky had been the one to bring her son home, their son. Elizabeth felt so horrible that she had lied to Nik about Aiden's paternity. It felt like Jake's paternity all over again.

Elizabeth looked up from her blanket to see Cameron sprinting by her with a soccer ball. She cheered from the sidelines as she watched her eldest son play soccer.

He was a natural. He was faster than the other boys; he had more skills, and the most important of all: he displayed sportsmanship and had fun.

She was certain he didn't get the natural talent from her. She didn't think Zander played soccer when he was a boy, but then again, she never asked.

Thinking of Zander still hurt after eight years. She never once regretted that night they spent together because it gave her Cameron. She did however regret how his death caused Cameron to never know his biological father.

Elizabeth watched as Cameron had a wide open shot in front of the goal. She was confident he would score. After endless hours of practicing in the backyard with Matt, he had become quite the shooter.

To this day her children ceased to amaze her. She intently watched as her son looked around and saw one of his teammates wide open to the left of him. She smiled as she realized this was one of the players that didn't quite possess the same skills as Cameron did.

She proudly watched as Cameron passed it to his teammate instead of taking the shot himself. The boy looked quite nervous, but Elizabeth thought she heard Cameron shout words of encouragement to the boy.

The boy scored and Elizabeth heard yells of joy erupt from her side of the sidelines. She looked to see the boy's parents screaming and jumping up and down in joy. Her heart almost broke as she watched her son give his teammate a high five and ruffled his hair.

Cameron turned his head towards his mother, the biggest smile on his face. She gave thumbs up, which caused his smile to grow even wider. Elizabeth then waved Aiden's arms in the air, which caused Cameron to laugh.

Once the game was over, Elizabeth packed up Aiden's toys and the blanket. She held Aiden in her arms as she waited for Cameron to run over. He finally made his way over to her and she bent down to hug him.

"I'm so proud of you Cam."

"Thanks Mom."

She let go of him and walked him back to her car. To their surprise, a familiar figure was leaning against the driver's door.

"Jason!"

The blonde smiled as Cameron ran into his arms. Cameron jumped at the last minute and Jason caught him with ease. He lightly tossed him in the air, causing Cameron to laugh.

"Did you see my game?"

"I most certainly did. I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world."

"Anything?"

Jason didn't hesitate in his answer to the eight year old.

"Anything. I saw you pass the ball when you had a wide open shot."

Elizabeth walked up to them with Aiden in her arms.

"Well, Timmy had a better angle to shoot."

"It was a perfect assist. You're a team player, Cam. Don't ever forget that."

"I won't."

Jason set Cameron back down on his feet and turned to face Elizabeth.

"Hey."

"Hey."

He enveloped her in a hug, making sure he didn't crush Aiden.

"I'm sorry I couldn't sit with you."

"No, I understand."

He knew he looked like a dumbstruck fool, but he couldn't stop smiling. The past three months had completely flipped his life upside down.

Business with Sonny was quiet. He actually hadn't seen Sonny in awhile. Jason suspected that Sonny was avoiding him, but had no idea why.

Jason wouldn't admit it to anyone but himself that he was slowly distancing himself from the 'business'. He knows that he can never really get out, but he was trying his best to lay low for the sake of getting to see Elizabeth, Cameron and Aiden.

He knew he was being selfish by seeing them, but he was so fucking tired of having to fight his happiness.

He would visit them a few days out of the week. Cameron was always ecstatic to see him, which made Jason's heart flood with pride. Jason had become quite attached to the little boy, and Cameron always looked forward to Jason's visits.

Elizabeth smiled as she pulled away from their hug to look Jason in the eyes. They were sparkling, something she didn't see months ago. Before, they lacked life and lightness, but now they were full of something else.

She had grown accustomed to Jason visiting her and her boys a few nights out of the week. He would even stop by at the hospital to take her out to lunch or just go down to the docks to talk.

It was nice being friends with Jason again. They had lost that over the past four years, and now it felt as natural as breathing air.

Elizabeth knew that deep down; she was falling for Jason all over again. She didn't want to, God they had been through so much. She wasn't even sure if he felt the same, and she most certainly wouldn't put herself out there and find that he only sees her as his friend.

It hurt like hell knowing that she could see him everyday for the rest of her life and not be with him, but seeing him was better than not seeing him at all.

"Hey, Cam, how about we celebrate by getting milkshakes at Kelly's?"

Cameron's eyes grew wide at Jason's suggestion. It had become their ritual. After Cameron's soccer games, they would go out to Kelly's for dinner.

"Can we Mama? Please?"

"Well, I don't know…"

"Mama, please!"

"Yeah, Mama, please?"

Elizabeth looked at Jason, puzzled. Hearing him tease her by mimicking Cameron made her heart flutter and caused her to picture what life would be like if they were all a family.

Cameron had his hands clapped in front of him like he was praying. Jason lifted him up and Cameron gave his mother his best puppy dog eyes.

Elizabeth looked at Jason, who was just giving her the soul-gazing stare of his that always caused her spine to shiver in the good kind of way.

"Fine."

Cameron smiled and Jason leaned him in to give his mother a kiss. Instead he gave her a raspberry on the cheek.

"Cam, why don't you give your mom a proper kiss?"

Cameron smiled in between the both of them, an idea forming in his head.

"Why don't you Jason?"

Jason froze at Cameron's suggestion. The boy was teasing the both of them, but he didn't realize what it really meant.

Jason looked at Elizabeth in shock, and she just smirked at him. That threw him for a loop.

She batted her eyelashes at him, and he swallowed the current lump in his throat. She didn't actually expect him to kiss her, did she? Does she even want him to kiss her or is it just because of Cameron?

_God, why does this woman always do this to me?_

Jason leaned in towards her. She closed her eyes as he did the same. Right before his lips touched her rosy cheek, he inhaled her scent. She smelled like vanilla, it was so sweet and tantalizing. He gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

He moved his head back an inch and waited for her to open her eyes. He saw a flash of something in her sapphire orbs, and he knew exactly what it was because he knew it was in his eyes as well. Desire.

For a moment they just stared at each other, inches away from each other's lips. Time seemed to stand still for them as they continued to gaze into each other's eyes.

It was finally broken by Aiden squirming in Elizabeth's arms. She was forced to look down and Jason took a step back from her.

Jason shook his head of the fantasies roaming in his head. He stole another look at her and could tell she was blushing and smiling.

He smiled as he opened to the door for her, knowing that he was close to having her as his again.

* * *

 

"Are you okay?"

Lulu nodded her head as she sat up in bed.

"I'm so sorry for dragging you into this."

Lulu shook her head as Dante joined her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her.

"How could you have known that Ewen is actually a psychopath?"

"I should have caught on… I should have done something-"

Lulu turned around to face in her husband.

"This is not your fault. None of this is your fault."

"Yeah, but now we're stuck in this godforsaken room to god knows when."

"Well, we're just going to have to stick together, stay calm and focused so we can get out of this alive."

Dante kissed Lulu after her encouraging words.

"Since when did you become the calm and collected wife?"

Lulu smirked as she looked around the small room they had been moved into.

Time passed so slowly in the room. They had lost track of how many days they had been tracked. Dante stopped counting after forty-five, but Lulu swore it's been eighty-seven.

There was a bed and an adjoining bathroom. Food was brought to them every few hours. All they had was each other, but both knew that they couldn't have asked for anything more.

* * *

 

Carly knocked on the door for the fifth time that week, but there was still no answer. She was beyond furious at this point and now she was worried.

_Hey you, look what you do to me  
You bend and you bruise me_

She hadn't seen Johnny in over three months. He didn't answer any of her calls or texts. He wouldn't answer his door and she never saw him around town.

Carly talked to Sonny about it on numerous occasions, but he would avoid the question like it was the plague. He denied that had anything to do with it, and at this point Carly was starting to believe him.

_Why you try to control me?  
But you don't know me_

"Johnny, I know you're in there! Please open the door. I'm starting to get worried. It's not like you to do this!"

She put her ear to the door, but still no answer. She sighed as she walked away after standing there for five minutes.

* * *

 

"Tell me where they're fucking hiding!"

_How come you just want to hurt me?  
How come you just want to push me?_

The man had practically shit himself as he looked down the barrel of the gun pointed at his face.

Johnny's hand had a fistful of shirt locked in his grasp and he could see his crazed look reflected in the man's eyes in front of him.

"I don't know where they are! I was fired two years ago!"

_I can't ignore you anymore  
Cause everywhere I turn you_

"You're lying!"

Johnny cocked the gun.

"No, I swear I'm not. Please don't shoot me!"

Johnny pushed the man back into his chair and swore. The man didn't have information on the Soleitos and Johnny was starting to lose it.

He had been hunting them for what seemed like forever. He avoided everyone's calls, including Carly's. He knew they were over at this point and he had ruined everything.

 _You burn me, you break me_  
You always want to take me down with you  
What do you want from me?

"When you were working for them, where were they living?"

Johnny leaned against the wall, loaded gun still in his hand.

"I had been a bodyguard for Gino for ten years. They lived in Miami for awhile, but after Gino's last child was born, he moved out to keep them safe. I was stationed down in Miami for a few months. I was a bodyguard for one of his daughters…what was her name… Gemma."

_I don't wanna be afraid,  
I don't wanna run away_

Johnny looked away from the man in front of him. He was stunned to learn that he had another sibling, well half-sibling.

_I don't want to be here fading  
It's more that I can take_

"How many children does he have?"

"When I was working for him, he had three. Gemma was the youngest, she was six I think, when I was her bodyguard."

"And the others?"

"His oldest was Damiano. He's probably in his early thirties now. He was in charge of Gino's business in another country."

_I'm never gonna be the same  
I threw it all away_

"Australia, perhaps?"

"As a matter of fact, I remember Damiano having an accent of sorts. I couldn't quite place it, but now that I think about it, it did sound Australian."

"What did he look like?"

"He doesn't look Italian, if that's what you're asking. He had blonde hair and lighter skin like his mother."

Johnny sighed. That matched Ewen description perfectly.

 _I don't want to be here fading_  
Just let go!  
Let go!

"His other siblings?"

"He had another sister, Sofia. She was a few years younger than Damiano, probably now in her late twenties. She looked nothing like Damiano. She had long black hair and dark skin, a true Italian."

"Is that all?"

The man nodded his head. Johnny opened the door to leave.

"Wait, there was another."

Johnny didn't dare to turn around.

_Hey you, look what you do to me  
You burnt and you scared me_

"It wasn't a well known secret that Gino had fathered another son with another woman. Only his bodyguards knew about it."

Johnny's breath caught in his throat.

"Gino tried to take care of his son and his son's mother, but after a few months of living with his wife, they were thrown out."

"The mother had caused too much trouble and Gino's wife couldn't stand the woman and Gino's bastard being in the same home. It was a constant reminder of her husband's infidelity."

"What was the bastard's name?"

"I never met the kid, but I believe the name was John."

Johnny closed the door behind him. After learning about his other siblings and his past, Johnny couldn't stomach any more information.

He braced himself against the wall, trying his hardest to not let his anger control him. For three months he had been chasing after his biological father, Gino Soleito, and after three months, he had found nothing except for the fact that he has three other siblings.

* * *

 

"Sonny, open the door!"

_With all that you tell me  
You love me, you hate me_

Sonny gets up from behind his desk to see Milo open the door and Jason comes barging in.

"What do you want?"

Jason was beyond furious, he was enraged. After not talking to Sonny in months, he gets a phone call out of nowhere demanding that he comes to Sonny's office.

He knows that he shouldn't be angry with Sonny, but Jason was forced to leave Elizabeth, Cameron and Aiden at Kelly's.

"Why are you angry?"

Jason sighed, running a hand down his face.

"It's nothing."

"It's something. What's going on Jason? Why are you angry with me? I thought you would be happy that I haven't bothered you in three months."

"I'm glad that business has been quiet and there haven't been any threats, but your phone call came at a bad time."

"I'm sorry; I thought you were the one that worked for me."

Jason shook his head, trying to let Sonny's jabs roll off of him. He was getting sick and tired of Sonny's self-righteousness. After not seeing Sonny in months, Jason had forgotten how infuriating Sonny could be.

_You always want to take me down with you  
What do you want from me?_

"Why did you call me?"

"Have you seen Johnny or Anthony Zacchara?"

"No, why?"

Sonny sighed and sat back down behind his desk.

"There have been rumors swirling around that Anthony's dead."

Jason was shocked and sat down in a chair.

"It wasn't me."

"I know it wasn't and it wasn't one of my men."

"But the other families think it was you?"

"They have good reason. They know that Anthony and I hated each other."

"What about Johnny?"

"I haven't heard anything about him."

"Has Carly seen him?"

Jason and Sonny both resented the fact that Carly and Johnny had been seeing each other. Jason had been more lenient because he knew how he hated others bashing his relationship with Elizabeth four years ago.

Sonny didn't see it that way. He thought that Johnny was just with Carly to get back at him.

"No, she hasn't."

Jason's phone vibrated and he immediately pulled it out of his pocket. Sonny looked away, annoyed.

Jason smiled as he read the text message.

_I just wanted to let you know that we left Kelly's and are home now. –E_

"You wanna get back to business now, Jase?"

Jason gave Sonny a warning glance as he put his phone away.

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are now, but where have you been for the past three months?"

"You haven't called me on, and business is quiet, so what's the problem?"

"The problem is that you've been distancing yourself. Are you trying to get out Jason?"

Jason didn't answer his question.

"Who have you been spending your time with? It's not Sam…"

The reality of Jason's situation hit Sonny smack dab in the face.

_I don't wanna be afraid  
I don't wanna run away_

"You're not getting back together with Elizabeth, are you?"

Again, Jason didn't answer his question.

"Didn't you learn your lesson last time?"

"I don't need your patronizing."

"It seems like you do Jason."

"Sonny, it's not your business."

Jason stood up in anger.

"It is when you start to lose who you are. You are a killer Jason, and while she won't admit it to you, deep down she hates that."

_I don't want to be here fading  
It's more that I can take_

"That's just my job. Its not who I am."

"She's not a part of our world."

"Maybe I don't what to be a part of your world anymore."

_I'm never gonna be the same  
I threw it all away_

Jason walked towards the door.

_I don't want to be here fading  
Just let_

"You can't get out Jason."

_You kept pushing me  
You keep using me_

"Like hell I can."

_You keep twisting me  
You keep breaking me_

Jason turned around to leave and opened the door.

_You can't have me anymore  
You can't have me anymore_

"You won't be able to protect her and her bastards."

_You can't have me anymore  
You can't have me, let go!_

He stopped and turned around to look at Sonny.

"I would think that you of all people would understand having multiple children with other women. If I ever hear you call them that again, I swear to God I will end you."

"Jason, that's not what I-"

"We're done. Consider this my resignation."

"Jase, what are you doing?"

Jason turns around to see Carly standing in the doorway.

"I'm leaving."

"Wait-"

"Carly, it's not worth it. He's changed."

Carly looked at Sonny in surprise.

"Jason's going after Elizabeth."

Carly turned around in shock to face Jason.

"Is this true?"

Jason nodded his head.

"Jason, I'm-"

"Carly, I don't want to hear whatever it is you have against Elizabeth. I'm so fucking tired of having to defend my relationship with Elizabeth and her boys."

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

Jason waited for her to continue.

"What I was going to say that I'm proud of you."

Carly looked around to see Jason and Sonny's mouths hanging open in complete and utter shock.

"Yeah, I'm defending muffin face, get over it. I know it's weird for me too, but if I want to be your true friend Jason, I would support any decision that makes you happy and be happy for you."

"Carly, I don't-"

"I know you weren't happy with my decision to start seeing Johnny, but you still supported me because you're my friend. That's exactly what I'm going to do for you. Elizabeth's not my favorite person in the world, but if she makes you happy…then I approve."

"Thank you Carly."

"Just make sure you don't lose her again. I'm tired of seeing the angsty looks between the two of you. It's disgusting."

Jason grinned and hugged Carly, appreciating her support. He let go and swiftly walked out of Sonny's office for the last time.

Carly soon followed after reaming out Sonny for his poor decisions.

* * *

 

"Mama, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Cam."

Elizabeth looked up from playing with Aiden on the floor to see Cameron looking at a scrapbook of Jake. Elizabeth had made it a few months ago for Cameron. He often carried it around with him.

"How come Jake doesn't look like Dad?"

Elizabeth froze. She wasn't ready for this conversation with Cameron and she had hoped Lucky would have been here to help.

"Um, Cameron, I uh…"

There was a knock on the front door and immediately Elizabeth stood up to answer it, relieved for the momentary distraction.

Behind the door stood Jason, smiling from ear to ear. She quickly let him inside, but guided him to the kitchen.

His smile quickly disappeared as he saw the concerned look on her face.

"Elizabeth, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer him at first; instead she was looking down at her hands. He smirked and then touched her cheek, forcing her to look up at him.

"I don't really know how to tell you this."

"Elizabeth, you can tell me anything."

She stared into his electric blue eyes, seeing the truth of his words in his eyes.

"Well, I made Cameron this scrapbook of Jake to help him remember his brother and he carries it around with him everywhere. I swear he sleeps with it. I'm glad that he has it though, hopefully it makes it-"

"Elizabeth, you're rambling."

She gave him a shy grin, which he answered with an encouraging smile of his own.

"Cameron asked me why Jake doesn't look like Lucky."

Jason's smile immediately disappeared.

"Did you tell him?"

"No. You knocked and I jumped at the opportunity to avoid answering him.

"He was bound to ask someday."

"I know, I know, but I was hoping…"

Elizabeth ran a hand through her hair.

"That Lucky would be here."

"Yeah."

They stood their in silence.

"Should we tell him?"

"Can it hurt him?"

"Well, will he understand?"

"I think so."

Jason sighed. He hadn't expected Cameron to ever ask this question, and now that Jake's gone, he had hoped that Elizabeth would never have to answer.

"You can tell him, if you think that's okay."

Elizabeth looked at him in surprise.

"Is it safe to tell him?"

The look between the both of them expressed the words neither wanted to say. Jake was gone and knowing that he was Jason's son didn't pose a threat anymore.

"Yeah, Cameron should know."

Elizabeth nodded, noticing the pain in Jason's eyes. She took his hand and led him back out to the living room. Cameron had moved from the couch and onto the floor with his brother, playing with blocks.

Elizabeth sat down on the couch, hand still clutching Jason's. He sat down beside her, removing his hand from hers and onto the small of her back.

"Do you want me to do it?"

"I just… I hate how I've lied to him."

"It was only to protect him."

"Yeah, but how do you explain that to an eight year old?"

Jason sighed and didn't answer.

"Do you mind if I try?"

Elizabeth looked away from Jason to watch her two sons playing with the blocks. Cameron was busy building a tower while Aiden just bit the blocks. She turned back to look at Jason to see him smiling.

"Sure."

Jason turned to look at her and rubbed her back with comfort.

"Hey, Cam, you wanna go for a ride?"

Cameron looked up from his blocks.

"Yeah!"

"Go get your shoes Cameron!"

Elizabeth stands up and watches her eldest run up the stairs in excitement. Jason stood up to leave and turned around to face Elizabeth.

"Be careful driving."

"I will."

"Don't be out too long. He needs his sleep."

"Yes ma'am."

Elizabeth smirked at Jason and gave him a hug. They lingered in each other's arms for a moment too long because Cameron coughed with a grin on his face.

Both adults blushed as Cameron came in between them.

"C'mon Jason!"

Cameron grabs Jason's hand and pulls him out the door. Jason looks back to see Elizabeth laughing and closing the door behind them.

Jason situates Cameron in the back seat of his car and starts driving. Once they arrive at the cemetery, Cameron instantly grows curious.

"Why are we here?"

"I was thinking we could visit Jake."

"Why?"

"Well, sometimes when someone close to you passes away, it helps to come visit them at their resting place. It makes you feel closer to them."

"Okay."

Cameron places his much smaller hand in Jason's. Jason's heart swells with love for the little boy.

Jason leads Cameron to Jake's grave. They stand in front of it, not quite sure where to start.

Cameron sits down and starts talking. Jason listens quietly as Cameron talks about his day.

"I won my soccer game today. I bet you love soccer Jake. Do you play with Aunt Robin? I bet you do."

Tears threatened to fall from Jason's eyes from he kept them in check. He had to remain strong in front for Cameron.

Cameron looks back to see Jason standing behind him. He motions for Jason to sit beside him. Jason complies.

"Hey Jake. Cameron played an excellent game today. I know you would have been on the sidelines cheering your older brother on."

Cameron scooted closer to Jason and Jason sat him in his lap.

"Your mother and I miss you very much Jake. I hope you know that."

There was a pregnant pause, and Jason waited with bated breath for Cameron to ask the fateful question.

"Why doesn't Jake look like Dad?"

Jason sighed, wishing that Elizabeth was here, but he knew he wanted to do this.

"Well, Cam, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they are gifted with a baby."

"And Mommy and Dad loved each other very much. That's why they had Jake and Aiden."

"And you, right?"

"No."

Jason looked down at Cameron in surprise.

"Mama told me that my Dad's not my real dad. My real dad got sick and died a long time ago, before I was born. Mama told me that he loved me very much."

"He loved you a lot Cameron."

"Did you know my real Dad?"

"Yes, I did. And you look exactly like him."

"I do."

"Yeah, but you look like your Mom too."

Cameron looked up at Jason and studied his face. Jason was nervous that Cameron was starting to piece it together.

"You and Jake have the same eyes."

Jason took a nervous gulp, ready to plunge into the uncertain.

"Cameron, your Dad wasn't Jake's real father… I am."

Jason waited for moment for Cameron to respond. He was praying that Cameron wouldn't hate him for lying.

"You're Jake's Dad?"

_I don't wanna be afraid,  
I don't wanna run away_

Jason nodded his head and Cameron looked back at Jake's headstone.

"Jake, did you know?"

Of course, there was no answer, but something happened that Jason had never witnessed before.

The tree above Jake's headstone was starting to lose its first leaves. The wind picked up and a single leaf fluttered down. Cameron and Jason both watched as it landed on top of Jake's headstone.

Cameron smiled and closed his eyes.

"How come Dad was Jake's dad?"

Jason took a moment to figure out the best way to explain this to Cameron.

"Well, my job is dangerous and I didn't want the bad guys to know that I had a son. That would put him, your mom and you in danger. I didn't want that. So your mom and I decided that it would be safest for Jake if your Dad assumed paternal rights."

"Did you and Mama love each other, and that's why she got Jake?"

_I don't want to be here fading  
It's more that I can take_

Jason was shocked at Cameron's question and tried to answer it as honestly as he could. If he wanted to be honest to his heart, for that night he did love Elizabeth.

"Yes."

"Are you sad that Jake's gone?"

"Very sad."

"I'm sorry you weren't there as his dad."

_I'm never gonna be the same  
I threw it all away_

Jason wiped a tear away from his cheek. He hadn't expected Cameron to respond like this, but he was truly his mother's son.

"Is my Dad coming back?"

"I'm sorry Cam, but I don't think he is."

"That's okay. You're here now."

_I don't want to be here fading  
Just let go! Let go! Just let go!_

Jason didn't believe it was possible, but his love for this boy grew even more. Jason felt as if they had broken down walls today. They were closer than ever, and Jason wouldn't have it any other way.

It was an unexpected feeling, but he grown accustomed to hanging out with Cameron. It was almost as if he was his own son. If Jason wanted to be honest with himself, it already felt that way in his heart.

"I'm here Cameron, and I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

"As long as you want me here, I promise."

Cameron nodded his head and turned around to hug Jason. Tears flowed down his cheek as he held the little boy in his arms.

"Are you going to be my Dad now?"

Jason sat in silence, not sure how to answer Cameron's question. It was probably the toughest to answer because he had no idea what was going to happen next.

He didn't know if Elizabeth was ever going to take him back. These past three months had proved that something was still there and that he had gained her trust back. Now he had to gain her heart as well.

"I don't think so kiddo, but I'm always here if you want to talk."

"I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

After tucking Cameron into bed, Jason bade Elizabeth a good night. He had told her everything that had happened. She was surprised how Cameron took it, yet she was still proud at how her little boy was growing up.

The tension was apparent when Jason had told Elizabeth that Cameron had asked him if Jason was going to be his dad.

Jason could tell she was nervous to know his answer and could visibly see the relief in her eyes when he told her his answer.

He drove back to Harborview Towers and collapsed into bed. So much had happened that day, he almost passed out until he heard furious knocking on his front door.

He checked the clock to see that it was almost three in the morning. He assumed it could be Elizabeth or even Carly so he reluctantly got up. He pulled on a black wife beater and a pair of sweatpants and went downstairs.

The blood drained from his face and he had to grip the door for support from a fear of fainting.

There standing in his doorway was his believed to be dead ex-wife, Sam McCall with a gun pointed at his chest.

"Sam…how…what…"

"Miss me?"

* * *

 

Elizabeth checked on Aiden and Cameron before going to bed herself.

Cameron had his scrapbook of Jake placed on the bed beside him. He was holding onto something, and at first Elizabeth couldn't tell what it was. Once she reached for the toy, her eyes immediately started to tear up.

Cameron was holding onto Jake's yellow motorcycle. Elizabeth swept his curly dark hair out of his eyes and kissed him on the forehead. She closed his door behind her and went to check on Aiden.

He was sound asleep, sprawled out in his grip. He too was gripping something. Elizabeth smiled as she realized it was his lion stuffed animal.

Jason had given it to him for his second birthday. Aiden couldn't go to sleep without it. Jason had also given Aiden a book about Africa and all of its animals.

She could remember the look they shared when he had helped unwrap Aiden's present. They both remembered that time thirteen years ago when Elizabeth had helped Jason heal from his gunshot wound.

He had talked to her about Michael and how he would read to him about Africa. Watching Jason read to Aiden with him in his lap almost made her cry. Jason would have made such a good father to Jake, and she regretted the sacrifices they made to protect their son.

* * *

 

Sam motioned for him to move back into the penthouse.

"I take it you heard the news."

Jason nodded his head, hands in the air.

"You haven't been missing me, have you?"

"What do you want Sam?"

"I want you dead."

Sam cocked the gun and aimed it at his head.

"Before I do that, I think I'm going to kill your little whore, Elizabeth, and her kids first. Maybe I'll even make you watch."

Jason growled and Sam grinned in satisfaction.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve? No matter."

Sam slowly backed out the penthouse, but Jason lunged at her. She fired one shot before he reached at her.

He felt the hot metal pierce his shoulder, but luckily it was a through and through. Time seemed to stand still as he reached for her throat.

Unfortunately, the pain in his shoulder caused his arm to drop and she pushed him off of her.

She landed in one good punch before he regained his senses. His left arm swung limply at his side.

The pain rushed to his head and he almost passed out. He could feel the blood dripping down his shoulder as Sam raised her gun to shoot again. He reached out and knocked it away. He pushed her down, but she swung her leg, knocking him to the floor.

His vision swimmed in front of him and he felt lightheaded. He tried to get up, but Sam straddled him, gun jammed into the side of his head.

She pushed a hand into his shoulder, causing him to groan.

"And I really wanted you to watch them die, but you just had to go all hero, didn't you?"

Sam continued to push her hand into his wound, and blood oozed out onto the carpet.

Jason could literally feel his life slipping away. Sam finally got up, realizing he wasn't going to get back up.

"You were too easy. Maybe your slut will put up a fight. I'll just have to call my friend and make sure he's there waiting for me. Hopefully he won't start without me."

Sam chuckled and turned her back on Jason. That's when she made her first mistake.

Jason got up and pulled her to the ground in a rage of anger he didn't know he possessed.

He moved towards the door, knowing that Elizabeth was still in danger. He closed the door, but not before Sam fired off another shot.

A fire erupted in his right calf muscle, but Jason knew he had to ignore the pain. He had to make sure Elizabeth was alright.

He eagerly pressed the elevator button, swearing as Sam opened the penthouse door. At the last second it opened and Jason leapt inside. He pressed the ground floor button and watched as Sam smirked before the doors closed.

Jason leaned against the elevator wall, holding his arm and trying to stay conscious.

He didn't know how he made it to Elizabeth's house without crashing.

Maybe it was fate, maybe it was chance, maybe it luck, or maybe it was God helping him, but he didn't question it.

He slammed on the front door, but it didn't open. Jason had no time to wait for her to answer it, so he raised his one good leg and kicked it in.

He raised his gun in the darkness, hoping that he wasn't too late. The light turned on and he pointed his gun to the sound of the noise on the steps.

Elizabeth came charging down the stairs, a wooden baseball bat in her hands.

"Jason, what the hell are-"

Words stopped flowing from her mouth as she saw his condition. He saw that she was alright and dropped his gun.

He held onto the door for support, but his hand was bloody from pressing on his shoulder wound. It slipped and he felt himself falling towards the ground.

He felt her arms gather his upper body and hold onto him. They both fell to the ground.

"Elizabeth…you're safe…"

He had held on for so long. He needed to make sure she was safe, along with Cameron and Aiden.

He looked up at her worried face, seeing that she was saying something, but it felt like she was miles away. His vision started to flicker and he felt her cool hands on the side of his face, forcing him to stay focused.

He couldn't hold on for much longer, and finally his eyes close and the picture faded to black.

 _I don't wanna be afraid_  
Let go!  
Just let go! Let go! Let go!


	16. Death of Me

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

 " _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**_Death of Me_ **

_Previously on Start Again…_

_He slammed on the front door, but it didn't open. Jason had no time to wait for her to answer it, so he raised his one good leg and kicked it in._

_He raised his gun in the darkness, hoping that he wasn't too late. The light turned on and he pointed his gun to the sound of the noise on the steps._

_Elizabeth came charging down, a wooden bat in her arms._

" _Jason, what the hell are-"_

_Words stopped flowing from her mouth as she saw his condition. He saw that she was alright and dropped his gun._

_He held onto the door for support, but his hand was bloody from pressing on his shoulder wound. It slipped and he felt himself falling towards the ground._

_He felt her arms gather his upper body and hold onto him. They both fell to the ground._

" _Elizabeth…you're safe…"_

_He had held on for so long. He needed to make sure she was safe, along with Cameron and Aiden._

_He looked up at her worried face, seeing that she was saying something, but it felt like she was miles away. His vision started to flicker and he felt her cool hands on the side of his face, forcing him to stay focused._

_He couldn't hold on for much longer, and finally his eyes close and the picture faded to black._

"Jason, come on, you have to wake up!"

_I should have seen all the signs around me  
But I was comfortable inside these wounds_

Elizabeth shook Jason, and she was immediately brought back to the past, precisely thirteen years ago when she had found in lying in the snow near the boxcar.

"I need you to wake up Jason!"

He stirred in her arms and suddenly his eyes opened. He was disoriented at first, but then remembered where he was.

"Elizabeth."

"Jason, its okay."

"Where am I?"

"Do you remember anything?"

Jason tried to sit up, but Elizabeth forced his head back onto her lap.

"I remember being shot… then I drove over here… to make sure you and the boys were safe."

"You scared me half to death when you kicked in the door."

Jason tried to smile, but it hurt. Elizabeth ran a hand through his hair, which was oddly soothing.

"I need to get up to call 911."

Elizabeth started to move Jason's head out of her hands, but he grabbed her arm.

"No hospitals."

Elizabeth was horrified at what Jason was saying.

"Jason, you have two bullet wounds."

Jason stared at her, willing her to understand his words.

"Right, you don't like hospitals. Well, I need to get you somewhere safe."

"Here, call this number."

Jason reaches in his pocket for his cell phone and looks up the number. He hands it to Elizabeth to call the person.

"Hello?"

Jason watched her as she answered the person's questions.

"Yes, he's here."

She waited another moment, and then ended the call.

"Milo should be over here in five minutes."

"Thank you."

Elizabeth nodded her head, and Jason took her hand in his.

"Jason, why did you come here? Who shot you?"

Jason hesitated in answering Elizabeth's question. She didn't know that Sam was alive, actually no one did except for himself. And no one can. Sam is too dangerous and has a personal vendetta against Jason and Elizabeth.

"I can't tell you right now, but I will once I can."

"Are Cameron and Aiden in danger?"

"No, they're going to be fine, Elizabeth. Trust me."

Elizabeth waited a moment till answering him, looking into his eyes for the truth. She knew that it had to do with his job, and he couldn't tell her for fear of her knowing the truth putting her and her sons in danger. She knows this, yet she hates the fact that he's hiding something from her.

"I trust you."

Jason nodded his head and closed his eyes. He was starting to lose consciousness again.

"Call Anna… to come… pick up the boys."

Elizabeth was startled by his request.

"Why does Anna have to pick up the boys?"

"I need to know… that they're safe."

The pain was getting to him, and Elizabeth could tell. She got up and got some towels. She applied pressure to his leg and shoulder, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Jason, you really need to go to the hospital. I can't help you without the proper treatment."

"Elizabeth… you're going to have to do this… on your own."

Elizabeth sighed, knowing that this was true.

"Just like old times, huh?"

Jason smirked, knowing that she wasn't making fun of him, just the situation. Elizabeth called Anna and told her to come over to pick up the boys.

"She can't know I'm here."

Elizabeth nodded and helped Jason over to the kitchen. She sat him in a chair and went to get her sons.

Once they were packed with some clothes and toys, Anna had finally arrived.

"Thank you so much for taking them on such short notice."

"No, I understand. Your job requires being ready at all times."

Elizabeth nodded and watched as Anna helped Cameron and Jake to her car. She knew she could trust their lives with Anna. She would protect them.

Once Anna had left, a car had pulled in the driveway. Elizabeth rushed back to the kitchen to get Jason.

They were almost to the door when Milo came in to help.

"Ms. Webber."

Milo gave her a small smile and helped Jason to the car himself. Elizabeth closed the door behind them and opened the door for Milo. He sat Jason in the backseat and Elizabeth sat beside him, firmly applying pressure to his leg and shoulder.

Elizabeth cupped Jason's face, willing him to stay awake. It was a miracle that he did. They had finally reached their destination. Elizabeth froze as she got out of the SUV.

"Jason, is this…?"

Jason saw the look in her eyes, and the tears that followed. He hadn't thought of what this would mean to her, it was the closest place to her house.

_So go ahead and take another piece of me now  
While we all bow down to you_

She looked at Jason, and he could literally see her heart breaking in front of him.

"It's our safe house."

She quickly composed herself to help him inside.

Milo laid Jason down on the couch, where Elizabeth proceeded to find the first aid kit. Milo closed the door behind him, keeping watch outside.

Elizabeth came back with the first aid kit. She searched through it to find scissors. She cut open his pants to search his wound.

"I think it was only a graze."

She motioned for him to sit up so she could look at his shoulder. This wound worried her the most. It was a few inches away from his chest.

"I need to stop the bleeding."

"Do whatever… you have to do."

Jason gave her a nod of encouragement, trusting her with his life. She pulled out some gauze and started to wipe away the blood. It wasn't helping and she knew that he had already lost so much.

She pulled out the burning alcohol to clean his wounds before she sewed them up.

"This is gonna hurt. A lot."

Jason nodded and Elizabeth noticed his hands bunch into a fist. She took this as a sign to continue. She tried to move as fast as possible, knowing how much this was hurting him. He didn't give any sounds of pain, but looking into his eyes, she knew how much he was suffering.

"Okay, now I need to sew up the wounds."

Elizabeth searched for anything to numb the pain of the needle.

"Jason, there's nothing to numb the pain."

"It's okay, I can handle it."

Elizabeth looked into his eyes, and he was telling the truth. She started with his leg first. It only took a few stitches to sew up the small wound.

His shoulder was another problem. The wound was right on his bone, and if she went too deep with the needle, she could damage some nerves in his shoulder.

"There's an exit wound, so the bullet isn't in your shoulder."

"You can do it Elizabeth. I trust you."

Elizabeth nodded and proceeded with sewing up his shoulder. She had to sew both sides of his shoulder, and finally after twenty minutes of blood, sweat and tears, Elizabeth sat back against the couch.

She was physically and mentally exhausted. She checked her watch to see that it was almost five in the morning. She looked at Jason, who had passed out from the pain.

She knew that she had to stay with him to make sure the wounds didn't protract an infection or that he would suffer from a fever. He also needed antibiotics if he wanted to heal faster.

Elizabeth didn't realize she had fallen asleep until she woke up the next morning. She looked around to see that she had fallen asleep on the couch and Jason was still passed out from his wounds.

She got up and went to the bathroom to get a cool washcloth, but was hit with memories for the second time that morning.

_You tear me down and then you pick me up  
You take it all and still it's not enough_

Elizabeth remembered asking him if the shower was big enough for two, and how they had proceeded to try it out.

The countless hours they had spent together at that house made Elizabeth realize how much she had really loved Jason.

_You try to tell me you can heal me  
But I'm still bleeding and you will be the death of me_

She shook her head of the memories, reminding her that it happened a long time ago, and they had broke up for a reason.

Elizabeth grabbed the washcloth and ran back out to the main room. She sat beside Jason on the couch and leaned in towards him.

She stroked his face to see if there was any reaction. His eyes started to flicker and she wiped the cool washcloth across his forehead. Luckily, his forehead was cool.

His eyes opened and she stopped her ministrations. They stared at each other for minutes, both realizing the situation they were in.

Jason reached for her hand and grasped it. She looked down at their linked hands, reminding her of the times they sat on this exact couch, holding each other as if it was their last time to be together.

"You saved my life."

"Well, third time's the charm, right?"

Jason smiled as Elizabeth continued to wipe the washcloth across his forehead. He looked into her eyes, seeing sadness and something else that he couldn't quite place.

"I'm sorry for bringing you here. I know what this place means to you."

Elizabeth nodded her head, willing herself to stay strong.

"I'm always doing this, finding you when I need you the most. It's not fair to you."

This time Elizabeth finally looked into his eyes.

"Jason, you can trust me. You're my friend."

"Yeah, but I put you, Cameron and Aiden in danger."

"No, you made sure we were safe."

Jason sighed, knowing that in the end she was right. He had only come to her house to check up on them, not to expect Elizabeth to heal him.

* * *

"Where's Jason?"

_How can you know my affliction  
If you're the sickness and not the cure_

Sonny's guard shrugged his shoulders. Sonny hadn't heard from him since his resignation.

_But too long I have faked this addiction  
Another sacrifice will make us pure_

"Boss, there's something you should know."

"What happened now?"

"Johnny's declared war."

Sonny looked up from his papers in shock.

"What the hell is he thinking?"

"Boss, it's not on you. He's going after the Soleito's."

Sonny smirked as he sat the papers down and went to leave his office.

"Yeah, but knowing me, I'm going to be involved somehow. Put the word out. Get all my men down the warehouse now."

_You tear me down and then you pick me up  
You take it all and still it's not enough_

* * *

"Jason, I need to leave to get some painkillers and antibiotics."

Jason reached for Elizabeth's arm as she got up from the couch.

"No, just have Milo go get them."

"I have to go to General Hospital to get them. I'm sure Milo doesn't know where they are."

Elizabeth looked down at his hand, and he shyly removed it from her wrist. She put her hands on her hips, daring him to challenge her.

He smiled, knowing that it was no use arguing with her.

"Good. I'll be back in an hour or so. Don't move."

Elizabeth gave him a smirk before she closed the front door behind her. Jason immediately reached for his phone and called one of the few trusted men he had left.

"I need you down at GH now. Keep an eye on Nurse Webber… I don't care how you do it; just make sure nothing happens to her…"

Jason hung up. He sat up on the couch, rotating his shoulder. It burned with pain, but that was nothing unusual to Jason. He was used to the bullets and stab wounds. It came with his job.

Now he can't say that. He officially left the business. He hoped that Sonny understood him, and didn't take his resignation for granted. He was done with Sonny tossing around flimsy orders or starting wars. Jason wasn't about to put his life on the line for a man he hardly recognized anymore.

Elizabeth looked around the hallway twice before entering the medicine storage room.

She quickly searched through one of the small cabinets, finding the necessary painkillers and antibiotics.

Elizabeth almost dropped the two containers when she heard the door open. She froze, hoping that it was just an orderly.

"What do we have here?"

* * *

Jason walked around the small room, trying to get the blood pumping through his leg.

His cell phone vibrated on the table and he quickly got it.

"Morgan."

" _I lost her."_

Jason almost threw his cell phone through the wall, but realized that wouldn't help matters.

"What do you mean you lost her?"

" _Boss, it was like she knew she was being followed. She slipped in a room, and when she didn't come out after a few minutes, I checked, but she wasn't in there. I've been searching the entire hospital, but I can't find her."_

"Keep looking!"

Jason flung his phone down on the couch in anger.

"Damn it!"

* * *

Johnny closed the door behind him after the man got away. Hopefully the man would carry his message well back to Corinthos.

_You try to tell me you can heal me  
But I'm still bleeding and you will be the death of me_

He wasn't sure if this was the best solution, but it may be the only way to draw out the Soleito's. Of course, the other families are going to be furious with him. They've had peace for almost a year ever since the Russian incident with Sonny.

_You tear me down and then you pick me up  
You take it all and still it's not enough_

At this point, Johnny didn't care about his organization or his legacy; he just wanted Damiano and Gino's heads.

He looked down at his phone to see that Carly was calling him yet again. That would be the fifth message that day.

Johnny sighed, figuring that maybe this would be the last time he would ever get to speak with anyone, so he answered it.

He hit the green button and put the phone up to his ear, and waited to hear her voice.

"Johnny, are you there? God damn it Johnny, I know you're there!"

_You try to tell me you can heal me  
But I'm still bleeding and you will be the death of me_

Johnny waited with baited breath to hear how angry she was with him.

_I won't forget, I cannot forget this  
I won't forget, I'll never forget this_

"You fucking bastard, you could at least have the decency to answer me!"

He closed his eyes, just now realizing how much he has hurt her.

_I won't forget, I cannot forget this  
I won't forget, I'll never forget this_

"Fine, you're not man enough to break up with me, so I'll do it for you. I've waited for three months, leaving you messages and trying to track you down, but I'm done. I'm done waiting for you."

A tear slid from Johnny's eyes, but he refused to cry for their love because it's his fault she's hurting.

_I won't forget, I cannot forget this  
I won't forget, I'll never forget this_

"Sonny told me about you and the Soleito's. I really hope you're not going through with it, Johnny. Revenge isn't going to get you anywhere except for misery and disappointment. Trust me, I've been there. Please come home and forget about this. no matter how much damage has been done to our relationship, no matter how much I hate you right now, I still care about you and I don't want to see you hurt."

Johnny hung up the phone after her last statement. He had to follow through with this, he couldn't back down now. As for Carly, it was for the best to stay away from him.

_I won't forget, I cannot forget this  
I won't forget, I'll never forget_

He just painted a big, red bulls-eye on his back and anyone close to him is as good as dead.

* * *

Elizabeth froze as she heard the raspy female voice behind her. She quickly looked around for any weapons before she turned around to face the perpetrator.

"Turn around, bitch."

_No, I can never prove this solution  
You aren't the one that I thought you were_

Elizabeth complied, knowing that she was at a disadvantage here.

_And so I learn to embrace this illusion  
I will separate this all to a blur_

She faced the brunette, surprise evident on her face as she looked at the woman believed to be dead.

"Sam, how are you alive?"

Sam smirked as she looked down at the knife in her hand.

"I'm not going to go into specifics for you. As a matter of fact, I'm not even here for you."

_You tear me down and then you pick me up  
You take it all and still it's not enough_

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm looking for Jason. Where is he?"

Elizabeth smirked, knowing exactly how to get to Sam.

"He's not out looking for you, if that's what you're asking."

"I don't have any times for games, whore. I just expected you would know where he is because you've wanted him for so long, and now that I'm out of the picture, it was time for you to swoop in."

"Despite what you may think, Jason is my friend and nothing more. You made sure of that long ago."

"Jason was never your friend Elizabeth."

"Where's your baby Sam? Weren't you due three months ago?"

Sam smirked as she walked closer to Elizabeth. Elizabeth backed into the wall behind her. Realizing she had nowhere to go, Sam pressed the knife into Elizabeth's throat.

"Alright slut with all the questions, here's one for ya. Where's Jason so I can finish the job?"

* * *

Jason limped around the safe house. He had never been so worried in his life. The pit in the bottom of his stomach was growing bigger by the second.

He checked his phone every few seconds, but there were no new text messages or calls.

Jason grew angry with himself and his stupidity. Why had he ever let Elizabeth go out with Sam on the loose?

_Because Elizabeth one of the most stubborn women you know, and you can never win an argument with her._

Jason threw the chair against the wall in frustration breaking the only lamp in the room. The room was pitched into darkness as Jason sat down on the couch. He couldn't go to the hospital to look for her because of his wounds.

He needed to know Elizabeth was safe. It was all that mattered. It was all that ever mattered.

* * *

"Tell me where he is, or your sons are next."

Sam smirked as she realized she hit a nerve.

Elizabeth's eyes crackled with fury. She looked down at the knife pressed into her throat, then shoved Sam off of her.

Finally having leverage, Elizabeth punched Sam in the face, stunning her for a moment.

 _You try to tell me you can heal me_  
But I'm still bleeding and you will be the death of me  
And you will be the death of me

"That's for threatening my sons, you fucking bitch."

Elizabeth pushed her aside and ran for the door. She made it to the elevator with Jason's medication in hand.

She leaned against the wall, out of breath from her altercation with Sam.

_How can she be alive? And what did she mean by finding Jason and finishing the job?_

Elizabeth drove franticly back to the safe house. She went to reach for the door knob of the front door, but it was flung open and she was pulled inside.

It was dark, but she didn't scream. Once she felt the arms wrap around her, she knew who it was that was holding onto her.

Jason's hand ran through her hair, the other at the small of her back, supporting her. She wrapped both of her arms around his waist and placed her head on his chest, reveling in the comfort.

"Elizabeth."

He murmured her name once, and that was all it took. She could feel him shaking, and realized how worried he must have been. Surely, he had sent a guard with her, and that she had ditched the guard.

"I'm okay, but you're not. I got the medicine."

Jason pulled away to look into her eyes, both hand on either side of her face.

"What happened?"

Elizabeth moved out of his arms and over to the couch. He followed her and sat next to her.

She looked around, finally noticing the broken lamp.

"What happened to the lamp?"

Jason shrugged his shoulders.

"Jason, I saw Sam."

His eyes widened in panic, but not in surprise.

_So he did know she was alive._

"You don't look surprised."

Jason looked down at his hands, and then back up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it-"

"-was for my own good, yes, I understand."

Jason sighed, knowing how much she hated being lied to.

"Did she hurt you?"

"Well, she only threatened me with a knife."

Jason switched into protector, his eyes searching her for any signs of harm. She placed a hand on his knee for reassurance.

"She didn't hurt me. I punched her, and then got away."

Elizabeth held up her bruised knuckles for proof.

"I should have never let you go."

"I can handle myself. Sam did say something that surprised me. She asked me where you were so she could finish the job."

Jason looked away from her again, embarrassment evident on his face.

"Jason, is she the one that shot you?"

Jason nodded his head and stood up from the couch.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Jason moved towards the window, but he could feel Elizabeth right behind him.

"She caught me by surprise. I tried to reach for my gun, but she shot me in the shoulder. I tried to get away when she threatened… to come after you. She shot me in the leg when I ran for the elevator."

He could feel Elizabeth's arms wrap around his stomach and her head rest on his back. He sighed, feeling the warmth and comfort in her embrace.

He turned around to face her.

"You're not safe here."

"Why?"

"Because I'm here. Sam's not going to stop looking for me, and will kill anyone in her path. You were lucky today, but I couldn't stand it if you got hurt or killed for me."

"It's a good thing you're not asking."

Elizabeth moved away from him.

"You need your medicine."

"I'm fine."

Elizabeth turned around and gave him a look. He sighed and followed her over to the couch.

Soon after he took the painkillers, which induced drowsiness, he could feel himself slipping off.

Elizabeth was sitting beside him, watching for any signs of pain.

"She was so angry."

Her voice was but a whisper, and Jason almost failed to catch it.

"Why is she going after you?"

Jason turned his head to look at her.

"She's trying to take down Sonny."

"After all these years?"

Jason nodded his head.

"How are Cameron and Aiden?"

Elizabeth smiled when he asked. He always asked about her children.

"They're fine. Anna texted me awhile ago saying they just woke up."

"You should be with them."

"But I'm here with you because you need me."

"I never asked you to."

"No you didn't, but you were hurt, and I couldn't let you leave. I'm a nurse, remember?"

Elizabeth smiled, which in turn made Jason smile. They sat in companionable silence for what seemed like hours.

"When I see you happy with the boys, it makes the pain in my heart of loving you and letting you go lessen."

Elizabeth looked over at Jason in shock to see that he had fallen asleep. She ran a hand through his blonde hair and placed a light kiss on his cheek.

She wrapped his one arm around her, and soon joined him in slumber, finally feeling safe for the first time that day.

_I won't forget, I cannot forget this  
And you will be the death of me_


	17. Not Alone

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**_Not Alone_ **

_Previously on Start Again…_

" _How are Cameron and Aiden?"_

_Elizabeth smiled when he asked. He always asked about her children._

" _They're fine. Anna texted me awhile ago saying they just woke up."_

" _You should be with them."_

" _But I'm here with you because you need me."_

" _I never asked you to."_

" _No you didn't, but you were hurt, and I couldn't let you leave. I'm a nurse, remember?"_

_Elizabeth smiled, which in turn made Jason smile. They sat in companionable silence for what seemed like hours._

" _When I see you happy with the boys, it makes the pain in my heart of loving you and letting you go lessen."_

_Elizabeth looked over at Jason in shock to see that he had fallen asleep. She ran a hand through his blonde hair and placed a light kiss on his cheek._

_She wrapped his one arm around her, and soon joined him in slumber, finally feeling safe for the first time that day._

Jason woke up in the middle of the day, a cold sweat dampening his forehead. He feels something warm in his arms, and looks down to see Elizabeth snuggled against his chest.

He smiles, runs a hand through her hair, and settles back into a deep slumber. Except, he feels Elizabeth stir beneath his arm.

_Slowly fading away  
You're lost and so afraid_

He watches as she looks around, startled to be in his arms. She moves out from under his embrace and sees that he's awake.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's okay. I need to give you your next dose anyways."

Jason looks over to see the sun shining through the window. He sits up as Elizabeth gives him his assortment of pills.

"Don't you work today?"

Elizabeth shook her head as she sat back down.

"No, when I was at the hospital, I filed for emergency temporary leave. I think I put death in the family or something like that, I honestly don't remember."

Jason smiled as he listened to her ramble.

"I'm sorry that you had to lie."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at him.

"I made the decision, not you, so don't feel guilty about it."

_Where is the hope in a world so cold  
Looking for a distant light_

Jason smiled yet again. He always enjoyed her feisty side, and the soft and vulnerable side she only showed to him.

"You still probably will though, cause that's just who you are."

Jason teasingly rolled his eyes, missing their playful banter they used to share all those years ago.

"What about Cameron and Aiden?"

"They're spending some time with Luke and Anna."

"Do you feel comfortable about it?"

"About what?"

Jason averted his eyes, not wanting to talk about the painful memories.

"Well, with Luke…"

Elizabeth finally caught on to what he meant, and her demeanor changed.

"It's hard some days. Other day's its a little bit better. Seeing him holding Aiden at Kelly's a few months ago… It just brought back so much."

Jason could tell how much Elizabeth had changed from Jake's death. At first, whenever he saw her from a distance, he could already tell she was in pain.

_Someone who could save a life_  
You're living in fear that no one will hear your cries  
Can you save me now

As more days passed by, he could see that she was starting to heal and move on. She would never truly move on, no one could, but he was the only one that felt the same empty, bottomless hole in his heart that had been filled with the love for their son.

_I am with you  
I will carry you through it all_

He watched as she started to smile and looked off into the distance.

"What are you smiling about?"

_I won't leave you  
I will catch you_

She looked back at him in surprise.

"I was smiling?"

"From ear to ear."

She blushed, thinking that her face hadn't shown her true feelings.

"I was just replaying this memory in my head. I think it was a few months before… and Jake was trying to ride his tricycle through the house. I told him not to, but he was… so stubborn."

"Just like his mother."

_When you feel like letting go  
Cause you're not, you're not alone_

Elizabeth looked up at Jason and smiled. Their eyes held each other for a moment, and then she continued her story.

"Well, he ended up running over one of his toys and flipped the bike over. I was so scared he hurt himself, but when I pulled up the tricycle he was laughing. I sat down on the floor and started to laugh out of relief. He said 'Mama, can we do that again?' "

They sat in silence as they remembered their son.

"It just doesn't feel like he's gone, you know? I know he is, but I still expect to see him running downstairs for breakfast or dropping him off at daycare with Aiden."

Jason wrapped his arm around Elizabeth.

_Your heart is full of broken dreams  
Just a fading memory_

"I feel the same. There's always going to be a hole in our hearts where Jake used to be. I guess it's never going to go away."

_And everything's gone but the pain carries on  
Lost in the rain again_

Elizabeth shook her head as she wiped away her tears. Jason held onto her even tighter, despite his wounds, letting her know that he was here. He was always going to be here.

* * *

Sonny slammed the door behind him. His guard standing near the desk looked at him in question.

"Get down to the warehouse. I need all my men on patrol."

The guard nodded and left the room rather quickly. He had seen his boss angry, but this was worse.

Sonny yelled in frustration and knocked everything off his desk.

The warehouse had been ransacked. Nothing was stolen, but it was destroyed. Sonny knew that it was Johnny's doing. No one else was stupid enough to threaten him like that.

Sonny looked down at his phone. Jason still hadn't called him back, which was unusual for him.

He dialed his number, but it went straight to voicemail. Milo was also missing, which was starting to worry Sonny.

* * *

"Hey Emma, you wanna play Wii?"

Emma looked up from her dolls to see Cameron standing near her.

"Yeah!"

She immediately got up and followed Cameron to the living room.

Cameron and Aiden had been staying with Anna at her hotel room. Emma would come over after school to play with Cameron.

Anna watched as the two kids played tennis. They were playing against each other, as usual. And Emma won. As usual.

Anna could tell that Cameron was letting Emma win without her knowing. He may not look like Elizabeth, but he was exactly like her in every other way.

She sat down with Aiden in her lap as she watched them play. Anna hadn't heard back from Elizabeth except for a few cryptic texts. Whatever she was off doing, she trusted Anna enough with her two most prized possessions.

"Aunt Anna can we have grilled cheese for dinner?"

Anna looked over at Cameron, who was currently displaying his best puppy dog eyes.

"Please Nanny Anna?"

Emma followed Cameron's suit and put her best puppy dog eyes for her grandma.

"With those two faces, how can I resist?"

Cameron and Emma laughed as Anna walked off to the kitchen to make dinner.

* * *

Sam closes the door behind her, making sure no one followed her.

"Did you find her?"

Sam looked up to see Damiano sitting in chair.

"Yeah, Sonny's too busy worrying about his precious warehouse to be covering his real assets."

Damiano grinned as he stood up and walked over to Sam.

"I knew he was a hothead, but I never pegged him for a fool. Doesn't he remember last time what happened to his precious fiancée?"

"She was shot."

"I would have thought he would have learned his lesson. I guess he needs to go back to school."

Sam smiles as Damiano answers his phone, ordering the hit.

* * *

Johnny follows the man from a distance. It was hot, hotter than Johnny was used to.

Of course, he had never been to Miami and Port Charles rarely reached over eighty degrees in the late summer.

It was dusk and Johnny knew that he would lose his mark soon.

After his father's death, the Zacchara organization had crumbled. Johnny relinquished his rights as heir and liquidated all the companies.

He didn't want the company after this. All he wanted was revenge, and by the way things were going, he wasn't going to make it back to Port Charles alive.

His mark started to pick up his pace, realizing that he was being followed. Johnny easily caught up to him and led him down an alley.

"What do you want?"

"Soleito?"

"Gino's dead."

Johnny shoved the man up against the brick wall.

"According to his eldest son, he's alive and well, soaking up the sun in Miami."

The man spit at Johnny, realizing that Johnny called his bluff.

"You wanna tell me where he is now, or do you want me to break your kneecaps?"

The man refused to answer and Johnny smiled. he pulled the man over to a dumpster and grabbed a metal pipe that was lying around.

The man tried to pull away, and he did, but the damage was done. He was screaming with agony, the bones of his leg breaking skin.

Johnny shoved him to the ground and forced him to be quiet.

"Now that I have your attention, where is Soleito?"

The man struggled to talk, and Johnny eased off his chest.

"He's got a warehouse down on South River Drive."

"I don't want him knowing his bastard is coming."

Johnny gets off the man's chest, but not before he breaks his neck. He dumps the body in the dumpster, and heads towards his father's warehouse.

On his way, his cell phone rings. Johnny is hesitant to answer it, but something in his head tells him to do it anyway.

" _Johnny? Are you there?_ "

Johnny almost hangs up when he hears the familiar female voice.

"Carly, what do you want?"

" _Thank God you answered."_

"Why, what's wrong?"

" _Nothing's wrong."_

"Then why did you call me? I left without saying goodbye because it was too dangerous."

" _Too dangerous? I share a kid with Sonny. Don't tell me it's too dangerous."_

Johnny runs a hand down his face in frustration.

"Carly, I'm a little busy at the moment."

" _Well, let me know when you're not so busy."_

She abruptly hangs up, and he doesn't blame her. He's treated her poorly for the past three months.

Now that he's started this war, she can't be close. He couldn't bear to lose her, knowing that it was his fault.

* * *

Carly hangs up the phone, furious with Johnny. Knowing who would help with her problems, she immediately calls his number.

" _Hello?"_

"Jason, it's me."

" _What do you want?"_

"Where have you been? Sonny thinks you're dead."

" _I'm not dead. I'm just… laying low for awhile."_

"Why, what happened?"

" _I can't tell you over the phone."_

"Then meet me at Jake's."

" _Carly… I can't-"_

"One hour. Be there."

She hangs up, knowing that he would follow her orders.

Jason sighs as he puts the phone down. He gets up, stitches stretching. Elizabeth comes back from the bathroom to see her patient standing up.

"What are you doing?"

"I have to go meet Carly. She called and said she needed to see me or something."

"Not like that you're not. Jason, you are recovering from two bullet wounds."

"Hasn't stopped me before."

Jason smirked and Elizabeth gave in, knowing there was no use.

"Look, Milo's going to stay right outside the door. I won't be long."

He pulls her into his arms, holding on tight.

"Please be safe."

Jason responds with a kiss on the cheek.

"I will."

She watches as he opens the front door of the safe house and closes it behind him. She sits down on the couch, and turns on the TV. She needs a distraction from worrying about Jason for the next few hours.

* * *

Carly orders another beer when she senses someone sit in the seat beside her.

"What do you want Carly?"

Carly smirks as she spins to face Jason.

"What's got your panties in a twist?"

She tries to joke about his demeanor, but Jason doesn't bite.

"Fine. Johnny is driving me up the wall."

"Carly, what do you expect me to do?"

"I don't know, knock some sense into him?"

Jason sighed as he adjusted himself on the bar stool, trying not to give away his injuries. He motions to the bartender for a beer, knowing how long the night was going to be.

"He's been gone for three months. Never told me where he was going or never called. I had to call him and he finally picked up tonight."

"You do know what's going on, right?"

"Yeah, Sonny told me Johnny started a war."

"Exactly, maybe he's trying to keep his distance to keep you safe."

"But that's my decision to make, not his."

Jason smiled as he realized that Carly and Elizabeth had two things in common. They hated being told what to do.

"I know it's not. Trust me, I hate it when people tell you what to do, but you're in a relationship now. You have to respect your partner's decisions and support them no matter what."

"What if I hate their decisions?"

Carly pouted as Jason smirked at her face. He took a swig of his beer.

"Carly, I'm not going to tell you what to do. That's not my job, it's yours. Follow your heart and trust it."

Carly looked at him, astonished.

"Someone's got a hold on your heart."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I haven't heard you talk like that in years."

"Maybe it's because I haven't felt this way in years."

Jason smiled as he ordered another beer for Carly, who had quickly downed hers in shock.

"Where is my best friend and what have you done with him?"

"Carly..."

"I'm sorry, but you've been acting differently. Ever since Sam-"

Carly stopped short, realizing that she just mentioned his dead ex-wife.

"Ever since Sam what?"

She looked at him, trying to study his reaction to bringing up Sam.

"You don't seem to be grieving."

"I'm sorry that Sam's dead and I will always appreciate the time we spent together, but before she died, she was my ex-wife. I cared for her, but I stopped loving her a long time ago."

"So who do you love now?"

Jason chose to chug his beer, trying to avoid Carly's question. She immediately picked up on it and persistently asked the same question.

"Carly, I don't want to talk about it."

"C'mon Jase, you brought it up. You can't just leave me hanging."

"Yes I can."

Carly pouted once again, but Jason didn't budge.

"Okay, so you're saying that while you were married to your wife, Sam, you fell in love with another woman?"

Jason didn't answer at first, and then realized that Carly wasn't going to give up.

"You could say that."

"Well, since you gave me such great advice about Johnny, here's how to handle your love life."

Jason gave her a look, showing how much he hated discussing his personal life with others.

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

He looked over at her in surprise. She usually never gave him advice; it was the other way around.

She smirked as she put money down on the bar and walked out, leaving Jason to ponder her words.

* * *

Elizabeth flipped through the channels as she poured herself another shot of tequila.

She was beyond being worried about Jason, knowing that he would call soon.

In the mean time, she had found the bottle of tequila in one of the cabinets. She remembered how six years ago, they had drunk tequila before they slept together.

Stopping at a chick flick, she watched for a moment.

" _Amidst all heartbreak and tragedy, there is always a light of hope to shine through the darkness."_

"Yeah, right."

Elizabeth dryly laughed as she poured herself yet another shot. She was almost finished the bottle, and was definitely drunk.

She hadn't consumed this much alcohol in a long time. She had to be the responsible mother.

The door opened behind her, but she didn't bother turning around to see who it was.

"Elizabeth… what are you doing?"

She looked up to see a concerned Jason standing over her.

"Wh-wh-what does it l-look like?"

She was starting to slur her words, and she hated how he asked her what she was doing like he cared.

"I don't think that's a smart-"

"You know what Jason, I d-don't care what y-you think."

"Elizabeth, you don't mean that."

"Like hell I d-do!"

He kneeled down beside her, a hand on her knee, but she moved away from him. Suddenly, this pent up anger that she had bottling inside of her for the past four years was unleashed.

_When will it ever end_  
The arms of relief seem so out of reach  
But I, I am here

"Stop pretending to care about me! Stop pretending to care about my sons! You didn't care enough about your own, or maybe if you did, he would still be alive!"

_I am with you  
I will carry you through it all_

Jason stepped closer towards her, but she backed away as if she was frightened by him. It hurt, but if he really wanted to tell her how he felt, he wanted her to be honest with her feelings as well.

_I won't leave you  
I will catch you_

"That's the tequila talking."

"No, Jason, this is how I really feel."

Elizabeth started to yell. It was breaking Jason's heart how much she was really in pain.

He had never thought she was suffering this much, she did such a good job at hiding it.

"You chose not to parent Jake. Just like you chose not to be with me. You walked away and never looked back."

_When you feel like letting go  
Cause you're not, you're not alone_

Tears were streaming down her face as she continued to yell at him. Every word cut into his heart, but he deserved it. All of it. She was using the same words she used at the hospital the night Jake died.

"I wanted to keep you safe-"

Elizabeth stepped up and slapped him in mid-sentence.

He held his face in shock as she quivered with anger.

"Do not say how you left to keep us safe. I am tired of fucking hearing that bullshit!"

"Elizabeth, please, if you would just let me explain-"

"I don't want any of your explanations Jason. It all turns out the same. You leave and I'm the one that is left with a broken heart. Our lives are like a broken record, so when are we going to finally learn to stop playing the song?"

Elizabeth slid down to the floor, head in her hands. The sight of how truly broken she was scared Jason.

"I feel so alone."

Nothing had ever scared him so much. Elizabeth is the strongest woman he knows, and to see her that hurt was painful.

"You're not alone. I'm here."

He had no idea what to do, so he sat down beside her, but kept his distance.

"What are we going to do?"

She didn't answer for minutes, and he was afraid she hadn't heard him.

"I'm going to go back to my life, and you're going to go back to yours. We're going to pretend like this never happened, just like how we've been pretending for the past three years."

"What if I don't want to?"

Elizabeth looked up at him.

"Jason, I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of fighting for our relationship. I'm tired of fighting against it. I'm tired of fighting against people who don't understand it. And mostly I'm tired of fighting you."

_And I'll be your hope when you feel like it's over  
And I will pick you up when your whole world shatters_

She fell silent once more, and Jason could tell that she had passed out. He watched her for a few more minutes, and then picked her up.

She didn't squirm out of his arms, which was a good sign.

He carried her to the bed, where he pulled back the covers and gently laid her down on their bed.

Jason tried to unwind his arms from around her, but she held on.

"Please, just stay here."

Jason sighed.

"Until I fall asleep."

She opened her eyes, and he couldn't deny her any longer. She scooted over towards the middle of the bed.

Jason pulled the covers over both of them and turned off the lamp.

He waited with baited breath as she moved closer towards him. He opened his arm and she snuggled into his chest.

_And when you're finally in my arms  
Look up and see love has a face_

They could never stay mad at each other for long. He held her close, never knowing when he would have this opportunity again.

_I am with you  
I will carry you through it all_

He gave her a light kiss on the top of her head and listened to her breathing.

_I won't leave you  
I will catch you_

It was soothing, and he was trying so hard not to fall asleep. Her one leg curled around his, reminding him of how they used to spend their nights here.

He sighed as he wrapped his other arm around her, holding her in a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry for all the ways I hurt you. I never meant for you to feel abandoned, I just I was doing what we... what we agreed on. I'm sorry if I got it wrong."

It was silent for a long time. He listened to her breathing, something he thought he would never do again.

If it was his choice, this is how he would wake up every morning and go to bed every night: with Elizabeth in his arms.

"No, Jason, you didn't get it wrong. I should be the one apologizing. You didn't abandon Jake; that was a terrible thing for me to say. I should have let you be a part of his life."

_When you feel like letting go  
Cause you're not, you're not alone_

Elizabeth propped herself up on her elbow to look into his eyes. His eyes sparkled with a lightness she hadn't seen in them for years.

"I was just trying to do what's best for him."

Elizabeth nodded her head as Jason rubbed her back.

"I know you loved him. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to know your son."

_And I will be your hope  
And I will pick you up_

Jason wiped away a tear on her cheek. He hated it when she cried. No one that beautiful should ever cry.

"Elizabeth, why are you crying?"

"I couldn't even keep that damn door locked."

"It wasn't your fault."

Elizabeth smiled as Jason ran a hand through her hair.

"How is it that you know exactly what to say to me?"

_And I will be your hope  
And I will be your hope_

"Because I know you."

Jason smiled as Elizabeth laid her head back down on his chest.

"He looked exactly like you. Same hair, same eyes…"

Jason looked down to see that Elizabeth had drifted off into a drunken slumber. He was about to close his eyes when his cell phone rang in his pocket.

He reached down and grabbed it.

"Morgan."

" _Where the hell have you been? And why are you whispering?"_

"I'm busy at the moment."

" _I need you down at the warehouse now. The Soleito's ransacked the place. It's time for payback."_

"Sonny, I don't work for you anymore, remember?"

" _Jason, you can never get out."_

"I'm done."

Jason hung up the phone, knowing that Sonny wasn't making any sense. Getting into the war now would drag the whole city into its warpath.

He felt Elizabeth stir next to him, but she didn't wake up.

Jason knew that change was coming. He finally put Elizabeth first over everything. Even if they aren't together, it felt good to treat her right.

Holding her in his arms, he figured this was about as close as he was going to get to heaven.

"Fate and time have kept us apart, but I'll always love you forever."

_Slow fading away_  
You're lost and so afraid  
Where is the hope in a world so cold


	18. Who We Are

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

" _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 18**

**_Who We Are_ **

" _Mommy, open your eyes."_

_The voice sounded so far away, yet it rang clear in her ears. It belonged to a little boy she thought she would never see again._

_She immediately opened them to see that she was in a forest clearing. She didn't recognize the forest, and she wondered how she got there._

_There were wild flowers gathered at her feet. The grass reached her knees. If she listened closely, she could hear a bubbling spring nearby._

_Her summer blue dress swirled around her as she walks around the clearing. The ground is soft under her bare feet._

" _Mommy, over here!"_

_Elizabeth turns around. The soft voice speaks to her once again, a voice that has haunted her dreams and nightmares for months._

_She sees a wisp of blonde hair peek out from behind a blue evergreen tree._

" _Jake?"_

_Elizabeth moves closer, or she tries to. The ground feels like quicksand, as if she's moving in slow motion._

_She almost breaks down from overwhelming emotions when her deceased little boy steps out from behind the tree._

_He's taller than she remembered. His hair was darker, not as bleach blonde._

_She could see how bright blue his eyes were from ten feet away._

_He was wearing a red t-shirt with a motorcycle on it and black shorts._

_Just as she reached him, the smile disappeared from his face. She reached for him, but he suddenly turned around and ran away, further into the forest._

" _Mommy!"_

_The fear in his voice sent her heart over the edge._

_Elizabeth ran after Jake, following the sound of his cries. She ran for what seemed forever, but she would never stop._

" _Jake!"_

_His voice grew silent and Elizabeth stopped. She spun around, listening for the faintest hint of her son._

_She heard a giggle and followed the newfound trail._

" _C'mon Mommy, you have to find me!"_

_Elizabeth looked up to see a small cabin to the right of her. On the porch stood her son with a woman she couldn't recognize from where she was standing._

_The woman had a hand on her son's shoulder. Oddly enough, Elizabeth didn't feel threatened by how close Jake was to the woman._

_The woman posed no threat, as the hand was a touch of comfort, not possessiveness._

" _Mommy, you have to find me."_

" _Baby, I'm right here."_

_Elizabeth walks towards them. The woman steps aside so the mother can embrace her son._

" _Mommy, you have to find me."_

_Elizabeth's vision started to flicker._

" _No, wait, Jake!"_

" _Mommy, you have to find me."_

_She was so close, her hand outstretched for Jake's. The picture faded to black._

" _Mommy, you have to find me."_

"Jake!"

Elizabeth sat up in bed, sweat pouring down her back and eyes wide open. She looks around to see that she's not in the forest anymore.

_It was just a dream._

Elizabeth runs a hand through her hair as tears threaten to fall from her eyes.

"Elizabeth, are you alright?"

She suddenly looks over to see Jason sitting in a chair next to the bed. He looked alarmed at her current state.

 _We were the ones who weren't afraid_  
We were the brokenhearted  
We were the scars that wouldn't fade away

"Yeah, I was just… having a bad dream."

Elizabeth scooted back against the headboard with Jason watching her intently.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"What's to talk about? It wasn't real."

_How did we let go?  
How did we forget that we don't have to hide?_

He could see that her walls were going straight back up. He got up from his vigilant post and sat down next to her on the bed.

"Jason, I'm fine."

_We won't believe the lies again  
We won't be paralyzed_

"Don't do that with me."

Elizabeth sighed, knowing that he would see straight through her bullshit.

"You called out for Jake."

Elizabeth nodded her head.

"Was he in your dream?"

Again she nodded her head.

"What happened?"

Elizabeth hesitated. It was the first time she had this certain dream, but it wasn't the first time she had dreamed about Jake.

_We can be who we are, now we are alive  
We can fight, they cannot contain us_

"I was in this clearing in the woods and heard Jake call out to me. I followed him to a cabin where a woman was standing with him."

"Did you recognize the woman?"

_It's who we are, we are undying  
We are forever_

"She looked familiar, but I wasn't paying attention to her."

Jason nodded, giving her an encouraging smile to continue.

_We won't hide our faces from the light  
Eliminate the space between us_

"Just as I reached for him, it went to black. He kept saying 'Mommy, you have to fine me'. Jason, what does that mean?"

Jason shook his head.

"I have no idea. I don't dream, and I'm not an expert on dreams. I just know enough that they're not real."

_It's who we are, we are forever  
It's who we are_

"It felt so real."

He took her hand in his, offering her the comfort she needed.

"He was so big. His hair was darker than before. He had a red t-shirt with a motorcycle on it."

Jason looked up from their entwined fingers in surprise.

 _We were the tears that passion cried_  
We were the sacrificed  
We were the flame that wouldn't die inside

"Was he happy?"

_How did we go wrong?  
We will not forget, we won't get left behind_

"He was smiling from ear to ear."

Jason smiled. It was always good to hear about his son, even if it was from one of Elizabeth's dreams.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Jason let go of her hand and got up from the bed. Before he closed the door, he looked back to see that she had lain down again.

_We won't give up this fight again  
We won't be denied_

He quietly closed the door behind him and sat down on the couch.

Jason checked his phone to see that Sonny had left him numerous messages.

" _Jason, you better get your ass down to my office. There's some business we need to discuss. Johnny has moved forward in the war against the Soleito's. Protection detail needs to be discussed."_

He sighed as he grabbed his motorcycle keys by the door. Jason opened the door to see Milo standing watch.

"I've business to take care of with Sonny. If Elizabeth wakes up before I'm back, please tell her where I am and that I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Are you sure Mr. Morgan? With your injuries?"

Jason shot Milo one of his infamous stone cold glares.

"Right, I'll get your message to Miss Webber."

Jason clapped Milo on the back, signaling how important Milo's job is. Leaving Elizabeth alone with one guard was risky, but Jason had to get Sonny off his back.

Taking the cliff roads to clear his head, Jason stopped at Vista Pointe.

He leaned against the railing, reminiscing better days.

The sun was starting to rise, signaling to Jason that he had to leave. With one last look at the city he called home, he hopped on his bike and took off for downtown Port Charles.

Weaving in and out of traffic, it had seemed like years he had ridden his bike. It felt good to rev the engine and to dodge traffic like he was twenty again.

Stopping outside of Sonny's office, Jason parked his bike next to Sonny's car.

He hesitated outside the door, which was armed with two familiar guards.

"Mr. Corinthos has been expecting you."

"Yeah, I got his messages Dom."

Jason shot the guard a disapproving glare, who just shrugged his shoulders. Even though Jason had quit working for Sonny just a day ago, it seemed like it was years.

Jason opened the door and was met with Sonny sitting at his desk with a glass of Scotch in his hand.

"Jason, close the door behind you."

He complied and sat down in the chair across from Sonny. It was surreal sitting in this chair; usually he was standing next to Sonny.

_I guess this is what it feels like to be on Sonny's other side._

"What do you want, Sonny?"

"Johnny found the Soleito's."

Jason sighed. Once Sonny had called Johnny out at the Pulmonary Benefit at the Metro Court, Johnny had been seeking his long lost family for revenge.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea telling Johnny about his true paternity."

"Johnny's my enemy. Of course I'm going to tell him news that will devastate him. Are you going soft on me now Jase?"

"What about Carly?"

Sonny scoffed at his question.

"What about her?"

"Have you even thought what this would do to her? She's dating Johnny, much to both of our chagrin, but there's nothing we can do to change that. She's the mother of your children. Now she, Michael, Morgan and Josslyn are going to be targeted."

_We can be who we are, now we are alive  
We can fight, they cannot contain us_

"That's not my problem. Johnny made the decision to go after his real father."

_It's who we are, we are undying  
We are forever_

"Yeah, after you told him who his father is. You started this Sonny."

"And now I'm going to finish it. Johnny relinquished his rights as heir to the Zacchara organization."

"What, are you going to go after the Soleito's too because they ransacked your warehouse?"

Sonny grinned with a dark gleam in his eyes. Jason could barely recognize his friend he would have once called his brother.

"Sonny, this is an unnecessary war, and one that you don't need to interfere with. This is between Johnny and his family. Stay out of it."

"Soleito struck first, now it's my turn. I'm not going to let anyone hit me and get away with it."

_We won't hide our faces from the light  
Eliminate the space between us_

"This isn't the way to go about it."

"If you don't want to be a part of this Jason, then fine, leave. But don't come crying to me because someone threatened you. You can never get out, remember?"

Jason was fuming because of Sonny's idiocy. He got up right in the Mob boss' face.

"If anything happens to the ones I love, I swear to you I will make your life a living hell."

_It's who we are, we are forever  
It's who we are_

With that, Jason left Sonny's office for the final time.

* * *

Elizabeth woke up to the sunlight streaming through the window. She looked over at the chair to see it empty.

She got out of bed and put on a fresh pair of black yoga pants along with a blue t-shirt.

The main room was empty, which meant Jason was out somewhere.

Elizabeth opened the front door to see that Milo was still keeping watch.

"Miss Webber, good morning."

"Good morning Milo. Do you happen to know where Jason went or if he left me a message?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact Mr. Morgan had business to attend to with Mr. Corinthos. He left me a message saying that he'll be back as soon as he can."

"Okay, thanks Milo."

"No problem, Miss Webber."

Elizabeth almost closed the door, and then realized that Milo had been standing guard all night.

"Milo, would you like something to eat or coffee? I know you've been standing there all night."

"I'm fine Miss Webber. Mr. Morgan said he was coming back with more men."

"Alright then."

Elizabeth closed the door and sat down on the couch. She checked her phone to see that Anna had left her a message on her voice mail.

" _Hi, Elizabeth, this is Anna. I was calling to tell you that Cameron has started to ask questions about you. I told him that you've been called to a conference. I just wanted you to know and that I hadn't heard from you yesterday. Please call me back when you get this."_

Elizabeth proceeded to call her back.

" _Hello?"_

"Hi, Anna, it's Elizabeth."

" _Oh, Elizabeth, how are you?"_

"I'm fine. I'm sorry about yesterday. I was… preoccupied."

" _That's quite alright."_

"I got your message. I'm coming to pick up the boys today."

" _Are you sure? I'm quite fine with taking care of them. I didn't want to worry you with my message; I just thought you ought to know."_

"No, I don't want to put you out. I'll come by in a couple hours when they wake up."

" _Okay, if you're sure."_

"I'm sure. Thanks again, Anna."

" _Not a problem at all, dear."_

Just as Elizabeth hung up the phone, Jason came in through the front door. He dropped his keys off at the table and sat down on the couch next to Elizabeth.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up."

_We will never die  
We'll never die_

"Its okay, Milo told me where you were. Actually, I'm surprised you let me know where you were."

"I don't want any secrets between us, and now that I quit working for Sonny-"

"Wait, you quit working for Sonny? When did this happen?"

Jason sighed, remembering that he hadn't told her about it. He adjusted himself on the couch, scooting slightly closer to the woman currently owning his heart.

"It's been a long time coming. Since Sonny ousted Johnny's paternity, actually."

"But I thought you couldn't get out?"

"You can't really get out, but I've been distancing myself from Sonny for the past few months."

"Why?"

Jason didn't answer, and Elizabeth caught on.

_We will not deny  
Now we are alive_

"Jason, I don't want you to ruin your friendship with Sonny on an account of me."

"Elizabeth, this isn't because of you. Sonny's changed, he changed a long time ago, and it's finally taken me all this time to realize it. You know how Johnny's started this Mob war with the Soleito's?"

Elizabeth nodded her head.

"Well, the Soleito's ransacked one of Sonny's warehouses. They know that Johnny gave up his organization, so the only real threat on the East Coast is Sonny."

"But why would Sonny enter the war between Johnny and his family?"

"That's what I asked him. He's irrational and power-hungry, and is only going to get the ones around him killed. I warned him that if he continued, we're done, partnership and all. He refused to listen to me."

Jason sighed and Elizabeth could tell how much this was eating at him. He had been partners with Sonny for over a decade.

"This isn't your fault Jason, and there's nothing you can do to change Sonny's mind. It's his decision to make his own mistakes. You can't take his willpower away from him."

_We can be who we are, now we are alive  
We can fight, they cannot contain us_

Jason stood up in anger and frustration.

"Yeah, but he's going to hurt everyone he loves, and that includes the ones I love. I… I just can't protect everyone."

_It's who we are, we are undying  
We are forever_

Elizabeth stood up and wrapped her arms around Jason's waist.

"No one's asking you to protect everyone."

"But that's my job. I'm supposed to protect everyone and keep them safe. I can't do that if Sonny's being an idiot. I refuse to let anything happen to anyone I love on his behalf."

Elizabeth didn't know what to say, so she just held on tighter, offering Jason all the comfort and strength she had.

* * *

Sam watched as her mark entered the department store. Sam had been tailing her for the past two hours, making sure she was alone and no guards were in the background.

"This is too easy."

Sam entered the store behind her mark. She waited in the shadows as her mark entered a fitting room with a handful of dresses.

"Now or never."

Sam watches as the woman pays for her purchases and exits the store. She walks down an alley to her car. Sam smirks as she realizes as clichéd this must be.

"Excuse me miss, you dropped your wallet."

The blonde woman turned around at sound of Sam's voice, but before she could react, Sam landed a punch to her face, stunning the fashion magazine owner.

"I love your dress, Kate Howard. Where did you get it?"

Kate looked up, dazed to see Sam standing over her.

"Sam-"

Her attacker silenced Kate with one swift kick to the head.

* * *

"Where is my son?"

Epiphany turned around to see Carly Benson standing at the nurse's station.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite blonde."

Carly rolled her eyes.

"He's in room 417."

"Thank you."

Epiphany looked back in surprise to hear how genuine Carly sounded.

She eagerly rushed down the hallway and into the room her son was assigned.

"Michael, what's wrong?"

Except that her son wasn't there. She turned around to leave, but the door closed behind her. Standing behind the door was Damiano.

"Dr. Keenan, you scared me. Do you know where my son Michael is?"

"No, I don't believe your son is here."

Damiano took a step towards her.

"Huh, that's odd."

Damiano nodded his head and took another step towards her.

The short hairs on the back of her neck stood straight up and a shiver ran down her spine.

Damiano took one more step; a step took close for Carly. He reached out for her, but instincts kicked in.

Carly lunged out at him, scratching at anything she could reach. Damiano subdued her, and she had to resort to screaming.

The door was closed, but maybe an orderly would hear her. She opened her mouth, but no words came out because she lost feeling in her legs.

Carly looked down to see a needle protruding out of her arm.

"You're a feisty one, aren't you?"

"Wh-wh-what are you doing?"

"Can't talk? Ah, that's the drug kicking in. Don't worry, you won't be harmed."

Carly's vision started to flicker as she tried to fight the drugs, but it finally faded to black.

* * *

Jason turned around to look at Elizabeth. Here they were, yet again, comforting each other.

He placed his steady hands on her waist, and pulled her closer.

_We won't hide our faces from the light  
Eliminate the space between us_

She looked at him in surprise, but she didn't push him away.

Millions of questions were running through his mind at that moment.

Did he deserve her after all he's done to wrong her?

Does he deserve to love and be loved?

Is he wrong for wanting this more than the air he breathed?

Her lips were so close. They were red and plump, begging to be kissed. Inches away now, he looked back at her eyes.

Those beautiful, alluring sapphire eyes. He couldn't look anywhere else. He didn't want to look anywhere else.

He felt her hands on his chest, but in that moment before their lips touched, he wanted her to feel how much she was loved.

He wanted her to feel safe and happy.

He wanted her to feel free and loved.

He wanted her to feel everything and more.

She closed her eyes as their lips touch. It was a taste of heaven as they lips moved in sync, as if they had been doing this for the past four years.

His hands crept up her sides, wanting to feel every inch of her.

Her hands moved to his head, running through the short, blond hair.

He gently opened her lips, and their tongues battled for dominance. He gently nipped at her bottom lip and heard a moan in response.

It only took a moment for the kiss to turn from gentle and soft to passionate and intoxicating.

Jason moved Elizabeth to the couch, never breaking contact.

He gently lowers her to the couch, careful not to put any of his weight on her.

They break off the kiss to look into each others eyes.

Nothing was verbally said, everything was told through their eyes.

It was as if their souls were talking to each other.

Elizabeth tugged down on his shirt and forced him to kiss her.

He hungrily responded as her hands found their way to his back. They ran underneath and over his back muscles. Heat followed her fingers, causing Jason to growl in response.

She eased his shirt over his shoulders, and let him break off the kiss to remove it completely.

They were urgent now, for being away from each other for so long, it felt like a dying man in the desert finally reaching water.

Jason pulled at her t-shirt. She rolled them over so she was now on top. She pulled her t-shirt over her head.

Just as she was about to go back down for more, the door burst open.

Jason quickly shielded her from the threat and pulled out his gun.

"Milo, what the hell are you doing?"

"Sorry, Mr. Morgan and Miss Webber. It's Mr. Corinthos."

"Tell him I'm occupied at the moment and I don't come at his beck and call."

"Sir, it's urgent. Miss Carly and Miss Kate have been kidnapped."

* * *

Sonny watched the screen with horror.

"Why are you doing this?"

Sonny held the phone up to his ear, waiting for the kidnapper to speak.

"I thought I had already given you your first warning."

"Soleito?"

Damiano stepped into the camera's view, between a bound Carly and an unconscious Kate, both tied to chairs.

"You would think after destroying your warehouse, you would take that as a sign to back off."

"What do you want?"

"I want you to play God. I want you to be the murderer you were born to be. I want you to choose which woman will die and which woman will live. Be the mother of your children or the woman you truly love? You decide."

"I'll give you whatever you want. Money, territory-"

"I don't want your blood money and I already have enough territory. You're the last major threat on the East Coast. Little Johnny gave up his organization to hunt my family down. You're the last one standing, Corinthos."

"I'm not going to back down."

"So they both die?"

Damiano pulled out his eight inch knife and held it up for Sonny to see.

"I was hoping you would be smarter, Sonny. After all, you're the glorified Mob king of Port Charles."

"Stop! Wait!"

"You had your chance Sonny. Their blood will be on your hands. Can you live with that?"

Damiano ended the call, but left the camera in place. Sonny was forced to watch as one of the woman died.

Damiano moved closer to Carly, forcing her to look up by pulling on her hair.

"Are you going to be for your life?"

"Go ahead. Kill me. But know this. You will be hunted for the rest of your life, always looking over your shoulder."

"You always were the drama queen."

Carly head her head up high as Damiano placed the blade on her throat. She closed her eyes and waited for the cold, steel edge of the blade to pierce her skin.

She waited with baited breath, but the stroke never came. Carly opened her eyes to see that Damiano moved on to Kate.

Damiano looked at the camera one last time, and then slit Kate's throat.

Her blood poured down her neck and onto her white dress.

It stained her dress crimson.

"Huh, how ironic that the last thing she wears is crimson, and that's the name of her magazine."

Damiano laughed as he walked away, forcing Carly to have to watch Kate choke to death.

"My father sends his greetings, Corinthos."

Carly tried to look away, but no matter how much she hated the woman, she would never wish this fate on anyone.

Kate looked at her, pain evident in her eyes as blood squirted out. Some landed on Carly, but she didn't notice.

She couldn't get the image of Kate's eyes, how much hopelessness and despair filled them.

All the while Sonny watched as his first and true love died, and there was nothing her could do about it. For the first time in his life, he couldn't fix anything.

* * *

Jason looked to Elizabeth as Milo closed the door behind him.

"Go, you have to help Sonny."

"Are you sure?"

"Jason, why are you still here?"

Elizabeth gave him an encouraging smile.

"We'll… uh… finish this when I get back."

"Sorry, Morgan, but the moment's passed."

Elizabeth smirked as she passed by Jason, lightly tapping his shoulder.

She looked over her shoulder to see that she left Jason in a state of shock.

Elizabeth smiled as she closed the bedroom door behind her.

Jason shook his head, smiling at how far they had come. He grabbed his shirt, quickly put it back on and ran outside.

Mounting his motorcycle, he took off for downtown Port Charles.

He couldn't get his mind off of Elizabeth. They had just crossed a line, a line that you where you couldn't go back. You either stop or move forward.

Jason wasn't sure what Elizabeth wanted, but all he knew was that he never wanted it to end.

Elizabeth leaned against the door, smiling like a little school girl after her first kiss.

She knew the consequences of their recent actions, but she didn't care.

For the first time in years, she felt free. And she never wanted it to end.

_It's who we are, we are forever  
It's who we are_


	19. Hymn For The Missing

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the story._ **

* * *

  _"Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 19**

**_Hymn For The Missing_ **

_Previously on Start Again…_

_Jason looked to Elizabeth as Milo closed the door behind him._

_"Go, you have to help Sonny."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Jason, why are you still here?"_

_Elizabeth gave him an encouraging smile._

_"We'll… uh… finish this when I get back."_

_"Sorry, Morgan, but the moment's passed."_

_Elizabeth smirked as she passed by Jason, lightly tapping his shoulder._

_She looked over her shoulder to see that she left Jason in a state of shock._

_Elizabeth smiled as she closed the bedroom door behind her._

_Jason shook his head, smiling at how far they had come. He grabbed his shirt, quickly put it back on and ran outside._

_Mounting his motorcycle, he took off for downtown Port Charles._

_He couldn't get his mind off of Elizabeth. They had just crossed a line, a line that you where you couldn't go back. You either stop or move forward._

_Jason wasn't sure what Elizabeth wanted, but all he knew was that he never wanted it to end._

_Elizabeth leaned against the door, smiling like a little schoolgirl after her first kiss._

_She knew the consequences of their recent actions, but she didn't care._

_For the first time in years, she felt free. And she never wanted it to end._

“Sonny, what happened?”

Jason barged into the room, furious with his ex-partner’s behavior.

“He…he…God…”

Jason looked around him to see the trashed office. Pictures that had been hanging in frames were on the ground and torn to shreds. The file cabinets had been shoved to the floor. The desk was overturned, with its various items scattered all over. In the corner was a shaking Sonny Corinthos.

With his knees propped up to his chest, arms around his shins, and head resting on his knees, Jason could tell that something was seriously wrong.

“Sonny, what did he do?”

Sonny looked up, and the face that stared back at Jason’s would haunt him for the rest of his life.

The Cuban’s eyes were lifeless. There was no light to be seen in the dark chocolate eyes. Sonny’s skin was pale and taut, like he hadn’t eaten in days. The infamous dimples were permanently erased from his smile. His cheeks were slick with tears and his eyes were rimmed in puffiness.

Jason rarely, if ever, saw Sonny cry. He would never have let just anyone come into his office and see him like this.

The moment their eyes connected, Jason knew what happened.

Jason sighed and reluctantly joined Sonny on the office floor. Leaning his head back against the wall, Jason closed his eyes.

The vision of perfection that had been on repeat in his head was dissipating before his very eyes.

Jason knew what happened next. It’s what always happens next. Nothing new, it’s the same ole song and dance.

Sonny would provoke his enemies. His enemies would warn him to back off. Sonny would refuse to listen because of his greed, stubbornness, and most of all: pride. His enemies would know where to hurt Sonny the most, and that’s his loved ones. Sonny would find out what happened and go a rampage for revenge. He would get himself hurt, or even killed, if Jason wasn’t there to be his voice of reason.

“You know what happens next, Jase.”

It wasn’t a question. Sonny never asked or suggested something to Jason. He told Jason what to do.

They might be partners in name, but Sonny had always had that hold over Jason.

Any time there was an argument; Sonny would play the excuse of “where would you be if it weren’t for me?”

Jason knew he was right. He didn’t know where he would be without Sonny. Maybe he would have eventually gone back to the Quartermaine’s. Maybe he would have left town and never looked back. Maybe he would still be working on motorcycles.

So much has happened ever since Sonny had agreed to take on Jason.

Some bad thing and others that were good, but Jason would never regret them.

If he had never worked for Sonny, he may have never fallen in love with Robin Scorpio.

If he had never worked for Sonny, he may have never slept with Carly.

If he had never worked for Sonny, he may have never been Michael’s father for the first year of his life.

If he had never worked for Sonny, Elizabeth may have never saved him.

If he had never worked for Sonny, he may have never fallen in love with Elizabeth when she healed him in her studio all those years ago.

There were so many what-ifs, and no matter how much had happened between the two best friends, Jason still owed Sonny his life.

Jason was never one to worry about the what-ifs or his regrets. He lived in the moment, or tried to anyway. Some would try to change him, and others tried to be him, but none ever really accepted his lifestyle, well, except for one.

 _I tried to walk together  
_ _But the night was growing dark_

He remembered those long talks he had with Elizabeth before he was shot.

He remembered how he had rescued her at Jake’s and they really talked for the first time.

To him, she was just Emily’s best friend.

To her, he was just Emily’s big brother.

After that fateful August night, she wasn’t just Emily’s best friend. She was a lonely, yet feisty kid.

She had all this anger and frustration pent up inside of her, reminding Jason so much of himself after he had woken up from his car accident.

He found himself looking for her whenever he went to Kelly’s or passed through the docks.

Jason enjoyed their talks. Elizabeth didn’t judge him, she understood him.

He didn’t talk much, and that was probably the best part. He didn’t like discussing his life with others, or trying to make them understand.

Elizabeth was different in that regard.

She didn’t mind that he didn’t open up. She appreciated the advice he would give her, and he would appreciate the trust she placed in him by discussing such personal experiences.

Looking back now, he couldn’t begin to imagine living a different life without meeting Elizabeth.

Shaking his head, Jason pulls himself out of his memories and back to the task at hand.

“I know.”

“He still has Carly.”

“What does he want?”

Sonny sighed and wiped at his eyes.

“He gave me a warning and I didn’t listen. I fucking didn’t listen and now Kate’s dead. That bastard slit her throat without pause or remorse. He’s a sick son of a bitch and when I find him, I’m going to make him suffer and make him beg for his death.”

“Who has Carly?”

Sonny looked up at Jason, the conviction evident in his eyes.

“Damiano Soleito.”

* * *

Elizabeth sighed as she opened the patient’s file in front of her. It was her first day back to work, after her “vacation”. Jason said she could go back to work, but there were multiple guards posted around the hospital, as well as Milo sitting in the waiting area next to the nurse’s station, watching her every move.

She was checking off the meds her patient had already taken when she felt a presence in front of her.

Elizabeth looked up to see a smiling Ewen with flowers in his hands.

“Ewen? What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean? I work here.”

Elizabeth chuckled at her stupid mistake.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s my first day back and I’ve been swamped so…”

“No, I understand. The first day back from vacation is the hardest. Here, these are for you.”

Elizabeth was surprised when Ewen handed her the bouquet of flowers.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful.”

“You’re welcome.”

Ewen flashed her his charming grin, one that she found attractive, but now not so much.

“So, Dr. Keenan, where have you been? Off on another mysterious island rescuing nurses from drowning?”

Elizabeth looked up from her file to see Ewen grinning.

“Well, I haven’t rescued a nurse in awhile, but I have been on a mysterious island. Why, are you feeling jealous Nurse Webber?”

“I wouldn’t say jealous.”

“If you’re feeling left out, you’re welcome to join me for dinner tonight.”

“I’m not feeling left out.”

“Fine, then just join me for dinner tonight.”

Elizabeth gave him a look. He seemed earnest, and what would one harmless date do?

_What about Jason?_

Elizabeth shook her head to clear her head of that unexpected question.

_What about Jason? Why would he care?_

Her conscious was currently having a conversation amongst itself.

_Well, you kissed him earlier._

_That kiss didn’t mean anything. It was just between two comforting friends._

_Right, two comforting friends who had a kid together and almost got married._

_Jason doesn’t feel that way about me._

_Honey, yes he does. What has he been doing for the past three months? Hanging out with you and the boys. I thought he said he walked away because he wanted to protect you._

_He did. And so what if he’s been around. He’s just my friend._

_No, he was never just your friend. Ever since you rescued him thirteen years ago, you have always been more than friends to each other._

_I can’t go there again with Jason. I’m not even sure if I have feelings for him._

_Oh, so you guys were halfway to having each other’s clothes off and you weren’t sure if you have feelings for him?_

_I got caught up in the moment. It won’t happen again._

_Why not?_

_Because I’m scared._

_Scared? Since when have you been scared in regards to Jason?_

_Since three years ago when he left me with my broken heart._

_Boo hoo, that was three years ago. You’ve moved on since then._

_Exactly, I’ve moved on._

_But you still love him._

_Of course I do. I will always love Jason._

_You’re in love with him. That never stopped. Not for a second. And if you want to be true to yourself and your heart, you know that he feels the same. He didn’t leave because he didn’t love you. He left because he thought that was the best option. Well, it wasn’t. Love shouldn’t be safe, remember that?_

_I tried to explain it to him._

_And you gave up._

_I didn’t give up. I realized the danger in his life and did what was best for my sons._

_Haven’t you realized that you’re stronger together than separate?_

_Yes, I realized that, but Jason never did._

_Then make him realize._

_Jason firmly believed that walking away meant that Cameron, Jake and I would be safe._

_And?_

_Maybe we were safe from physical danger, but not emotionally._

_How so?_

_Because every time I looked at Jake, I would think of how he would grow up never knowing his real father. I was so scared of how he would find out and hate me forever for lying to him. Now Jake’s gone and Jason never got the chance to be his father._

_And if you could have another chance with him, would you take it? If you knew that he loves you, which you better, and if he knew you love him, don’t deny it, would you take that chance? Would you risk everything to be with him and to have the family you’ve always wanted?_

“Lizzie.”

Elizabeth shook her head, not realizing how caught up in her memories she had gotten. She had blanked out for a full minute in front of Ewen, which was beyond embarrassing.

“What the fuck?”

“I beg your pardon?”

_Oh shit, I said that out loud._

“I’m sorry, what did just happened?”

“Lizzie, are you okay?”

_Think about it._

_Will you stop that?_

_What would Jason have to say when he hears you have a date with Ewen? He thought that you made his feelings pretty clear last night._

_Stop it!_

_Of course, maybe you’re doing this just to make Jason jealous, to prove that he wants you too? Good thinking Elizabeth._

_Shut up!_

_You better hurry. A man like Jason isn’t going to wait forever. Look how long it took for him to move on from you to that skank._

_You don’t know anything._

_Do you remember Courtney? She was pursuing Jason while he was with you. Ouch. And they were the ones that got married? That’s pretty twisted._

_Please stop it._

_Wait too long and you’re going to see another gold digging whore on Jason’s arm and maybe this time she’ll actually stick around for awhile. Then you’ll be forced to see them around town, knowing what they’ve been doing. How close they are, how she’s always touching his strong arm, how she laughs at everything he says, how she glows even when its an overcast day, you’ll know what they’ve been doing. Its something you want so badly. To have Jason in your bed, making sweet love to you-_

“STOP IT!”

The lobby went silent as everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at Elizabeth.

Milo had moved from his seat and stood near Ewen, watching him with a wary eye.

Elizabeth gave everyone a nervous smile. Realizing that she wasn’t crazy, they went back to their business.

_You are crazy. You’re hearing voices in your head._

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, finally registering what her head was telling her.

“I really don’t like the name Lizzie.”

Ewen looked shocked at her sudden bluntness.

“Um, excuse me?”

“And while I’m glad that you saved me, would you stop bringing it up? It’s bad enough that I had to live through it once, but you brag about it like it’s your job.”

“Elizabeth, I had no idea-”

“What’s with the nice guy act? I can see right through you.”

“Nice guy act?”

“Yeah, you’re acting all charming and suave, just to get me in your bed, but once morning rolls around, you’ll be gone faster than I can say Australia.”

“It’s not that long of a word.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

“No, I don’t want to go to dinner with you.”

“But-”

“But nothing. I’m not interesting in being another notch on your bedpost, sorry.”

Blushing, but not from embarrassment, rather annoyance, Elizabeth leaves Ewen at the nurse’s hub, chin touching the floor in utter shock.

_What the hell was that about?_

_That, honey, was jealousy with a little mix of the ole feisty Liz. Where’s she been? I like her. She always made things interesting._

* * *

“Who’s Damiano Soleito?”

“Gino’s son.”

“Wait, it’s not Johnny, is it?”

“No, his other son.” 

“His other son?”

Sonny dryly smiled as he saw Jason’s confusion.

“Yeah, you might know him. Works at the hospital, fake Australian accent, very suave with the nurses, especially one in particular.”

Jason froze, everything stopped in that moment.

“Ewen?”

“Yeah, Dr. Keenan.”

“That can’t be-”

“True? Well, you’re welcome to watch the video if you like, but I’m pretty sure it was him. I mean, I watched him cut Kate’s throat open, but it could’ve been someone else, the lighting was dim.”

“Sonny, I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

“How long have you known Ewen was actually Damiano Soleito?”

Sonny didn’t answer him.

“Fuck, Sonny, you knew? You fucking knew and didn’t tell me? He’s been hanging around Elizabeth and he’s crazy. What were you thinking?”

“I guess I wasn’t.”

“God, he could’ve hurt Elizabeth. Now I have to clean up your mess.”

Jason was going to ream Sonny out even further when he felt something inside of him twist.

 _Thought you were beside me  
_ _But I reached and you were gone_

He had felt this two times in his life. The first time was eight years ago when Sorrel kidnapped Elizabeth and held captive in the crypt for days. The other had been four years ago, right before he proposed to Elizabeth. Diego had kidnapped her and Jason was forced to rescue the car she was trapped in from falling off a bridge.

 _Sometimes I hear you calling_  
_From some lost and distant short  
_ _I hear you crying softly for the way it was before_

He had the scars from pulling Elizabeth out over broken glass to prove it.

Jason always followed his instincts, never doubting them. It’s how he had survived all these years with the profession that he has.

 _Where are you now?  
_ _Are you lost?_

It raised the hairs on the back of his neck. It made his stomach churn with uneasiness. It made his heart beat a thousand miles per minute.

 _Will I find you again?  
_ _Are you alone?_

It seemed like he was moving in slow motion. He got up from sitting next to Sonny, running for the door.

He can hear Sonny yelling at him, but living up to his true reputation, nothing could stop Stone Cold Mob Enforcer Jason Morgan.

* * *

Johnny took a breath before he turned the corner. He had made it this far without being discovered.

He checked his gun to see that he had one clip left.

12 rounds.

No telling how many guard were left in this fortress.

Johnny closed his eyes, knowing that he wouldn’t need more bullets.

He knew his inevitable fate was coming out of here in a body bag.

The hallway was dark and silent. Johnny welcomed it.

As a child, he had always been keen to darkness. He would stay up late at night; lights turned out and look out his window.

He would stare at the stars, looking for some sort of guidance or a sense of familiarity.

Johnny always knew he was different than his family members.

Anthony treated him like his son, but there was so much distance between them most of the time. It was as if Anthony never really knew him.

His mother, or adoptive mother Maria, truly loved him like her own son. She shouldn’t have, because look where that got her.

A reserved seat to six feet under courtesy of her husband, Anthony.

Johnny hadn’t found out till he was sixteen. Anthony just told him one morning over breakfast, like it was nothing.

After that day, Johnny could tell that something was different about his father/ or grandfather now.

Anthony figured Johnny was old enough to know the truth, and was finally welcomed to the business.

Johnny never wanted the business. His true passion was singing, but Anthony would have none of that.

Claudia wasn’t much help; she was always away doing things for Anthony.

Now Johnny knew what she was doing, or who she really was.

When Johnny had received his true birth certificate, saying that Claudia was his mother, his world was turned upside down.

Unfortunately, Claudia had died before he ever knew her as his mother, but looking back he could finally understand some of the things she did. How close she was to Johnny, they never truly had that sibling rivalry.

Of course, Claudia was still crazy, but that might have been due to the fact that Anthony had started whoring her around to older men when she was thirteen.

Johnny shook his head of memories, needing to stay focused.

His instincts kicked into overdrive and being accustomed to darkness, he saw a guard turning the corner.

Johnny moved with the shadows, moving silently around the guard. He didn’t want to kill the guards, it would be easier to get around them then having his gun go off and alerting the other guards.

Johnny heard another guard coming, but there was no way he could reach the other end of the hall before the other guard turned the corner.

He spotted a door nearby and sprinted for it. Praying that the room was empty when he opened the door, he hastily closed it behind him.

“Are you here for my tea party?”

 _Are you afraid?  
_ _Are you searching for me?_

Johnny spun around to see a girl sitting in the middle of the room, surrounded by stuffed animals and teacups.

The girl was young, maybe seven or eight. She had long dark hair and tan skin. She reminded Johnny of Claudia.

She had wide eyes, dark but not filled with darkness. There was spark in them, something that lacked in Johnny’s eyes.

“Uh, yeah, I’m here for your tea party.”

“Good, because Daddy said he would send someone for my tea party. You’re late.”

Johnny was dumbfounded at the girl’s abrasiveness, but yet he couldn’t be mad at her. She was too cute to stay mad at.

“I’m sorry. I was…busy.”

“You’re new here.”

Johnny froze as he sat down across from the girl, accepting the teacup.

“How could you tell?”

“I know all the guards around here. I’ve never seen you before.”

“You’re smart, kid.”

“Not smart, just observant. Plus, James is usually the one who comes to my tea parties.”

“Sorry, I’m not James.”

“How can you be sorry you're not James?”

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Gemma Arianna Soleito. Yours?”

Johnny couldn’t think of a fake name, he was stunned to be sitting with one of his half sisters.

“Mine’s…uh…Derek. That’s a beautiful name.”

“Thank you. Would you like some tea?”

“Sure.”

Johnny accepted the teacup.

“So, you work for my dad?”

“Your dad?”

“Gino.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“He just came home today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he’s been away on business, and couldn’t come home often, but now he can.”

“Did you miss him?”

“I don’t really see my dad much. He doesn’t have time for me or my sister.”

“You have a sister?”

“Yeah, but she’s older. How old are you?”

“Twenty-nine.”

“Sofia just turned twenty-seven. You’d probably like her. She’s really pretty. She’s won Miss Miami three times.”

“Really? I’ve never heard of her.”

“She goes by my mom’s maiden name, Sofia Rossi.”

Johnny nodded his head as he sipped his tea.

“This is good tea, Gemma.”

“Thank you. I’ve had a lot of time to practice it.”

“I bet it gets lonely living here in this big house.”

“Yeah, my mom is always out at fashion shows or shopping. Sofie’s got a million boyfriends, and my dad’s always working. And…”

Johnny noticed that Gemma got nervous.

“What?”

“Well, I have an older brother too.”

“What’s his name?”

“Damiano.”

Johnny tried to not let his anger show at the mention of his grandfather’s killer.

“He moved away a long time ago. Five years actually.”

“I’m sorry Gemma.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t really know him.”

“I had a sister once.”

“What do you mean by had?”

“Well, she died a couple of years ago.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t really close to her either.”

“But you loved her.”

Johnny smiled at his little sister.

“Yes, I loved her.”

“More tea?”

“Sure.”

Gemma pours more tea into his cup. They stay silent for a while. Johnny checked his watch. Too much time has passed, and his window of time was slowly closing. Confirming his doubts were gunshots in the distance. Johnny could tell what they were with his trained ears, but they didn’t seem to faze Gemma at all.

“Do you have to go?”

Johnny looked up to see Gemma intently staring at him.

“It’s okay if you have to. I’m used to it.”

“Maybe I could send back another guard.”

Johnny stood up to leave, trying not to get too attached to his new sister.

“Derek, do you really work for my dad?”

Johnny stopped in his tracks.

“I know you don’t.”

Johnny turned around.

“How?”

“My dad makes them wear a uniform. And they never come to my tea parties.”

“Then I guess you already know the answer to your question.”

Johnny turned back around, praying that Gemma wouldn’t tell anyone about him.

“It was nice meeting you Derek.”

 _Why did you go? I had to stay  
_ _Now I'm reaching for you_

* * *

Sonny got off the private jet to the instant heat. Dom opened the door of the car for him, Sonny got in.

 _Will you wait? Will you wait?  
_ _Will I see you again?_

He knew how close he was to revenge as the car neared its location. Stopping a few blocks away, Sonny immediately signals to his guards to open fire.

Waiting for the dust to clear, Sonny motioned for his men to close in, and followed them into the fortress of a house.

* * *

Jason sprinted off the elevator and towards the nurse’s hub. Not to his surprise, Elizabeth wasn’t standing there.

 _You took it with you when you left  
_ _These scars are just a trace_

He scoured the halls, his heart sinking every moment he couldn’t find her beautiful sapphire eyes or her alluring figure or her deep chocolate tresses.

 _Now it wanders lost and wounded  
_ _This heart that I misplaced_

Checking in every room for his favorite brunette nurse, but he couldn’t find her.

 _Where are you now?  
_ _Are you lost?_

He walked down the last hallway, and confirmed his fears. Lying on the floor was an unconscious Milo.

Jason pulled out his gun, holding it steady with his capable hands. He checked Milo’s pulse to see it he was all right. 

He took a breath before he entered the room near Milo.

 _Will I find you again?  
_ _Are you alone?_

“ELIZABETH!”

* * *

Johnny opened the door in front of him. Due to the mass panic, guards didn’t give him a second look. All were moving to the front grounds, were most of the gunfight was occurring.

The second he opened the door; he knew this was the end.

Sitting at his desk with a calm and smug face was Gino Soleito.

“Welcome home, son.”

* * *

Sonny runs up the stairs, knowing that time was running short and his men were outnumbered five to one.

Praying that this was the last door to open, Sonny bursts inside, gun held at the ready.

To his surprise, Johnny was standing into front of him, back to Sonny, with a smoking gun in his hand. Sonny looked past him to see a bullet hole in the head of who Sonny assumed to be Gino Soleito.

“Beat me to it, Johnny Boy?”

Johnny whirled around, gun now aim at Sonny’s head.

“Whoa, I’m your side. They’ve got Carly too.”

Johnny’s head twitched to the side in confusion.

“Who’s got Carly?”

“You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Your brother killed Kate. He’s got Carly too.”

Johnny immediately put his gun down.

“Where is she?”

“I don’t know. I was coming here to find Gino and have him tell me, but you killed that idea, no pun intended.”

“Well, he has to be close.”

Sonny sighed.

“My men are outnumbered. We need to get out of here.”

Reluctantly to agree with his archenemy, but knowing that he didn’t have any other options, Johnny nodded his head.

“What’s the plan?”

“Make it out here alive.”

* * *

Jason sunk to the ground at the sight in front of him.

 _Are you afraid?  
_ _Are you searching for me?_

On the TV monitor was a picture of Elizabeth, gagged and bound to a chair.

 _Why did you go? I had to stay  
_ _Now I'm reaching for you_

There was a small cut on her forehead, but it was bleeding profusely. She was flickering in and out of consciousness, and Jason could tell she was in a lot of pain.

On his knees, he watched as Damiano entered the screen.

“If you’ve found this video, then surely you’ve found Miss Elizabeth has been taken hostage. I’m truly sorry it’s come down to this, as I was quite fond of Nurse Webber, but now that my heritage has become common knowledge, I needed a back up plan. Enter Elizabeth. Now, Mr. Morgan, if you want your sweet love back, you’re going to have to play by my rules. One toe crosses the line, then Cameron and Aiden become motherless. Understand? Now, you will be receiving further instruction. I’m going to enjoy this game, Mr. Morgan. It will be a pleasure working with you.”

The video, which was a self-destruct tape, disintegrated.

A few times in his life he had experienced anger.

When he had finally let go of his old life, as Jason Quartermaine, and embraced Jason Morgan. He had been pushed to his breaking point by the Quartermaine’s and just broke.

When he had to give Michael back to Carly and A.J.

When he had found Elizabeth in the crypt, battered and bruised.

When he had found out that Sam had watched his son be kidnapped in the park, and did nothing about it, and when she had hired two men to hold Elizabeth and her sons at gunpoint in the park as well.

When Elizabeth told him the Russians had kidnapped Jake.

When Jake died from his hit-and-run, caused by a drunk Luke Spencer.

When Franco forced him to watch Sam be raped.

When Sam lied to him about Robin’s death.

When Sam continued to see McBain behind his back, after repeatedly asking her not to.

He wasn’t sure if anyone had ever experience the pure, raw, uncontrollable, rage he was feeling at the moment.

Jason was literally seeing red and he had never felt this way before. It scared him, but it also empowered him.

Nothing could stop him from finding Elizabeth.

He would cross the ends of the earth to find her.

He would move mountains to find her.

He would kill a thousand men to find her.

Nothing could stop an enraged Jason Morgan.

 _Will you wait? Will you wait?  
_ _Will I see you again?_


	20. Let It Burn

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

  _"Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 20**

**_Let It Burn_ **

_Previously on Start Again…_

_Jason sunk to the ground at the sight in front of him._

_On the TV monitor was a picture of Elizabeth, gagged and bound to a chair._

_There was a small cut on her forehead, but it was bleeding profusely. She was flickering in and out of consciousness, and Jason could tell she was in a lot of pain._

_On his knees, he watched as Damiano entered the screen._

_"If you've found this video, then surely you've found Miss Elizabeth has been taken hostage. I'm truly sorry it's come down to this, as I was quite fond of Nurse Webber, but now that my heritage has become common knowledge, I needed a back up plan. Enter Elizabeth. Now, Mr. Morgan, if you want your sweet love back, you're going to have to play by my rules. One toe crosses the line, then Cameron and Aiden become motherless. Understand? Now, you will be receiving further instruction. I'm going to enjoy this game, Mr. Morgan. It will be a pleasure working with you."_

_The video, which was a self-destruct tape, disintegrated._

_A few times in his life he had experienced anger._

_When he had finally let go of his old life, as Jason Quartermaine, and embraced Jason Morgan. He had been pushed to his breaking point by the Quartermaine's and just broke._

_When he had to give Michael back to Carly and A.J._

_When he had found Elizabeth in the crypt, battered and bruised._

_When he had found out that Sam had watched his son be kidnapped in the park, and did nothing about it, and when she had hired two men to hold Elizabeth and her sons at gunpoint in the park as well._

_When Elizabeth told him the Russians had kidnapped Jake._

_When Jake died from his hit-and-run, caused by a drunk Luke Spencer._

_When Franco forced him to watch Sam be raped._

_When Sam lied to him about Robin's death._

_When Sam continued to see McBain behind his back, after repeatedly asking her not to._

_He wasn't sure if anyone had ever experience the pure, raw, uncontrollable, rage he was feeling at the moment._

_Jason was literally seeing red and he had never felt this way before. It scared him, but it also empowered him._

_Nothing could stop him from finding Elizabeth._

_He would cross the ends of the earth to find her._

_He would move mountains to find her._

_He would kill a thousand men to find her._

_Nothing could stop a hell-bent and crazed Jason Morgan._

“What the hell were you thinking?”

Damiano was furious, and with good reason.

“We need Jason out of the way. He can’t know what’s going on at your father’s mansion.”

“I know what the plan is, I’m the one who came up with it. You don’t have to repeat it.”

Sam flinched under Damiano’s harsh tones.

“I thought-”

Damiano whirled around, showing his true colors.

“You thought? You thought it was a good idea to kidnap Elizabeth Webber?”

“Yes, because I knew that my ex-husband would chase after the town whore.”

Damiano swore as he sat down in his chair behind the desk.

“Well, now we’ve got a crazy Mob enforcer hunting us. He’s not going to stop, and he’s not going to let us live.”

“What were you going to do?”

Damiano raised his eyebrows at Sam’s sudden indignation.

“I was planning on distracting Mr. Morgan with something other than the love of his life. Now I have to go clean up your mess.”

Sam rolled her eyes as Damiano left the office.

* * *

He followed the long and dark hallway to the last door on the left. A single guard stood outside, but the Mob Prince waved him off.

The guard nodded his head and walked away.

Damiano opened the door to see an anxious Elizabeth sitting on the bed.

At the beginning, it was just about getting revenge. No feelings involved, no strings attached, but God be damned, he felt something for the brunette nurse.

Damiano knew he loved Sam, in his own crazy way, but there was something about Elizabeth that was different.

She was so selfless and generous. He had never met any other like her. She made him want to be better than he was. She made him feel like there was something more to life than the Mob. Maybe if he met her before…

Damiano shook his head, clearing his thoughts of a different life and focusing on the task at hand.

He raised his hands, letting her know that he wasn’t going to hurt her. She had never been part of the plan, but Sam’s stupidity forced him to improvise.

“Why am I here?”

Damiano shrugged his shoulders as he leaned against the wall opposite of Elizabeth.

“Who are you really? Obviously you’re not Ewen Keenan, but at least you owe me that much.”

“I’m Damiano Soleito.”

* * *

Jason was frantically searching through the hospital security tapes, trying to find any sign of his favorite brunette nurse. He paused the video as he saw her face.

Elizabeth was laughing at something Epiphany said.

What he wouldn’t give to see her laugh again.

She walked away from the nurse’s hub to check on one of her patients after being paged. His heart sank as he watched Sam sneak up behind Elizabeth in a deserted corridor. She fought Sam hard, and Sam even pulled out her gun. Elizabeth didn’t back down, and there was a struggle.

Jason watched with anger as Sam hit Elizabeth on the forehead with her gun, effectively knocking her unconscious.

He watched as Sam dragged her through the empty hallway and into the service elevator.

Jason tracked them down to the garage level of the hospital, where a car was waiting for them.

He wrote down the license plate in a hurry and got up from his desk.

What he wouldn’t give to have Spinelli to run the plate numbers through the system. He would have to settle for one of his other techies. He got out his cell phone to call one of his safe houses.

“Get Brad to run plate numbers 56Q27, through the system. It’s a black SUV. I need it now.”

Jason waited with a bated breath.

_“The black Chevrolet is registered to a Tim Young. He lives on 64 Palm Avenue.”_

Jason hung up and raced out the door. He got on his motorcycle and raced through the streets of Port Charles.

 _I watch the city burn  
_ _These dreams like ashes float away_

He had never driven this fast before, and he was certain that he almost caused an accident three times, but he didn’t care.

 _Your voice I never heard  
_ _Only silence_

Nothing mattered except for finding Elizabeth. He couldn’t lose her, not now, not after what happened at their safe house. They were reconnecting and finally trying to make it work.

* * *

“You know he’s coming for me.”

Damiano sighed. There was no point in arguing with her.

“Yes, I know your white knight in shining armor is coming for you.”

 _Where were you when our hearts were bleeding  
_ _Where were you when it all crashed down_

“And you know what will happen when he finds me.”

Damiano nodded his head.

“Then why are you doing this?”

 _Never thought that you'd deceive me  
_ _Where are you now_

Damiano looked at Elizabeth in surprise. There was no hate or malice in her voice, only concern.

Why was she showing concern for her captor?

_Because she knows what’s going to happen to you once Morgan gets here._

“Because I have to. It’s all part of the plan.”

“You can let me go.”

 _How long can you stand the pain  
_ _How long will you hide your face_

“Why would I do that? You’re my bargaining chip. The one thing standing in the way between Morgan and I.”

“Because if you let me go now, he won’t kill you.”

“Yes he will. He knows what I’ve done.”

Damiano sat down against the wall in exhaustion.

“I’m sorry.”

He looked up at Elizabeth, who was sitting on the bed, cross-legged.

“For what?”

“For what you have to do.”

“It’s not like I have a choice.”

“You always have a choice.”

Damiano shook his head. She didn’t understand. No one understands.

“Not when your father’s Gino Soleito.”

There was a silence that followed his last statement.

“Although, I figure he’s probably dead by now.”

Damiano dryly chuckled. Near the end, his father had been driven into paranoia, which led to rash decisions and poor choices.

“Will you please just let me go?”

Damiano looks to Elizabeth to see that she’s being sincere about her plea.

“Why?”

 _How long will you be afraid  
_ _Are you afraid_

“Because my sons need me.”

Damiano looked away from Elizabeth. He can’t lose focus now.

“You should get some sleep.”

He gets up from his position on the floor and leaves her cell. He nods to the guard to close the door behind him.

Elizabeth looks at the small device on the floor. He couldn’t have left it by accident. She didn’t take him for a fool.

She picked up the cell phone, wondering if it was a trap or he was actually being nice.

_Why would he be nice? He’s holding you hostage._

Deciding that she may never have another chance, she dials the only man she needed to call.

* * *

Jason kicked down the door in front of him, gun aimed for a person’s head. A man leapt up from his couch and turned to see a glaring Jason standing in his doorway.

The man recognizes him and tries to run. Jason vaults over the couch and tackles the man to the ground.

Jason ends up on top with his forearm rammed into the man’s throat.

“Where is she?”

“I can’t…talk.”

Jason lessened the pressure, barely.

“Tell me where she is or I will personally make sure your death is painful and slow.”

Jason could see the man’s fear in his eyes. He could see that the man was frightened of his stone cold glare.

“I don’t know…where she is.”

“You’re lying!”

Jason cocked his gun and pressed it into the man’s forehead.

“I swear I’m not lying…I just received instructions…to park my car at General Hospital by…a specific time.”

Jason gave him a long stare to determine if he was lying.

“Where is it?”

“On the table.”

Jason kept his gun aimed at the man and got off of him. He snatched the piece of paper off the table.

 _Mr. Young,_  
_You’re instructions are as following:  
_ _Park your SUV in the parking garage at General Hospital by 4:00pm_

“Who left you this?”

“I don’t know. It was taped to my apartment door when I got home.”

Jason sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Do you have any idea who this could be? What jobs have you worked for the last six months?”

“I was a nightshift janitor at General Hospital a couple of months ago. It was just an extra job I picked up to cover rent.”

“Did you ever come into contact with a Dr. Ewen Keenan?”

Tim sat down on his couch, motioning for Jason to do the same, but he remained standing.

“Keenan…Keenan…I don’t recall the name.”

Jason leaned in and grabbed Tim by the collar. He could tell Tim was lying.

“I need you to answer my question. Now.”

“Alright, I can take a hint.”

Jason let go of Tim’s collar.

“One day I was cleaning out the trash in Dr. Keenan’s office. I came across some papers, well, that were quite obscure.”

“How?”

“Well, they talked about shipments of drugs into Miami. I was wondering why Mob business documents would be in Dr. Keenan’s office. He came in as I was reading them.”

“What happened after that?”

“He threatened me not to tell anyone, and if I did, he could get me fired from my other jobs. I told him I wouldn’t tell anyone, but that didn’t seem to please him. He asked for my name and told me that he would be asking for a favor soon.” 

“Were there any addresses or phone numbers on the documents?”

“Not that I can remember.”

“Well, I need you to remember.”

“Look, all I can remember is seeing the words cocaine and Soleito listed on the page. The rest was all mumbo jumbo.”

Jason sighed. This was getting him no closer to finding Elizabeth.

“Do you have any idea where Keenan lives?”

“I heard that he had an apartment down on Central Avenue, but I’m not sure.”

Jason knew that was a bust. He had already looked up that address to find that it was a fake.

_There’s got to be a warehouse around here that Soleito controls._

Jason turns around and leaves the apartment without a word to Tim.

“Brad, I need you to look up any warehouses in Port Charles that are controlled by the Soleito’s. Text me the addresses.”

_“Alright Boss.”_

Jason hung up and straddled his motorcycle. Waiting for Brad’s response was killing him.

 _How long will you play this game  
_ _Will you fight or will you walk away_

Another minute of not finding Elizabeth could mean another minute she was closer to being hurt or killed. He couldn’t bear it if Elizabeth died because of him. She deserved so much better than he could give her.

 _How long will you let it burn_  
_Let it burn  
_ _Let it burn_

He would never be enough, and maybe this is what finally needed to happen for him to realize that.

She would never be safe around him. His enemies would always use her or the kids for leverage, and Jason couldn’t live if something happened to them.

Shaking his head of negative thoughts, knowing that Elizabeth needed his head to be clear and focused to find her, he checks his phone to see three addresses. Two of them are in Port Charles, and the other in New York City.

Jason revs the engine, and takes off for the docks of Port Charles.

 _I watch the city burn  
_ _These passions slowly smoldering_

He stops outside the closest warehouse, noting that it was abandoned and hadn’t been used.

 _A lesson never learned_  
_Only violence_  

“Damn it!”

Jason slams his hands down on the handlebars of his bike in frustration. He checked his watch to see that it was 8:00pm, and it had been four hours since Elizabeth had been taken.

His window of opportunity was closing fast to save Elizabeth.

Just when he thought all hope was lost, his cell phone buzzes and he checks it to see that it’s a blocked number.

“Morgan.”

_“Jason!”_

His heart stops as he hears her voice on the other side.

“Elizabeth! Are you hurt? I swear, if that bastard’s hurt you-”

_“Jason, I’m fine. Just a cut on my forehead, but that’s from Sam.”_

“Where are you?”

_“I don’t know. I woke up in this cell.”_

“How did you get a phone then?”

_“Ew- I mean Damiano was talking to me and just left it here.”_

“Alright, I’m going to get my men to trace this number. I want you to stay on the line for as long as you can.”

_“God, it’s so good to hear your voice.”_

“You have no idea. Look, I have all my men out looking for you. I’m going to find you and bring you home.”

_“I know you will. I trust you, Jason.”_

“Just please, stay strong…for me and the boys.”

_“I fully intend on coming back to you and the boys. Just…keep talking to me.”_

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Jason paused as he listened to her quiet breathing on the other line.

_“Jason, just in case something happens…well please explain to Cameron and Aiden-”_

“Elizabeth, don’t talk like that. You’re going to make it through this, and I’m going to make sure of that.”

 _“_ _A mother can never forgive herself for failing her child.”_

“Elizabeth, I’m going to find you and bring you home to your boys. Please don’t give up your faith in me.”

There was another pause as Jason waited for her response.

_“My faith in you is unshakeable and justified.”_

Jason smiled, knowing that she had said this many years ago, and it still rang true today.

“I will find you. No matter how long or how far it takes me, I will find you.”

He could hear static and knew where it was coming from.

_That son of a bitch! He gave her that phone on purpose!_

_“Jason… are y…ill there?”_

“Elizabeth, there’s something jamming the signal.”

_“Jason…!”_

“Elizabeth!”

 _Is your world just a broken promise  
_ _Is your love just a drop of rain_

_“I…lo…you!”_

There was a long pause, and then he heard the dial tone signaling the call’s end.

 _Will we all just burn our fire  
_ _Are you still there_

“ELIZABETH!”

* * *

Elizabeth looked down at the phone to see that the call had been disconnected and that it died.

She threw it against the wall in frustration to see it break.

Elizabeth leaned back against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest. She concentrated on positive thoughts, knowing that it was the only way she was going to make it out of there alive. She needed to stay strong for her boys, just like Jason said.

 _How long can you stand the pain  
_ _How long will you hide your face_

First, she needed to think of a plan to get out of there. She couldn’t sit around and wait for Jason to rescue her.

That was the old Elizabeth, the one who relied on Jason. Now she had two sons to care for and that needed protection. She had to get out of there.

She looks around her cell for anything to use as a weapon. Not surprised, she doesn’t find anything.

The door opens to a man holding a tray of food. Elizabeth glares at him as he sits the tray of food down on the floor near the foot of her bed.

He walks back out without a word and she waits until he closes the door to lunge for the food.

It doesn’t look appetizing at all, but she knows she needs to eat something or else she won’t be in a good condition to escape. She starts to cut the mystery meat when she realizes that she was given a knife.

Surprised at their stupidity, but not second-guessing it, she slides the knife under her pillow.

It’s small and has a dull edge, but it’s better than nothing.

* * *

Jason opens the door, prepared for anything. The surprise was evident on his face as the man standing before him turned around. His hair was dark, with streaks of gray in them. The tan skin reminded Jason of Sonny’s. He was older than Jason remembered, but it had been quite some time since he had seen this man.

“Jagger?”

Jagger looked confused as he saw Sonny’s Mob Enforcer standing before him.

“Jason Morgan? What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

Jason raised his gun, and Jagger looked puzzled.

“I’m looking for someone.”

Jason nodded, but refused to lower his gun.

“Now it’s your turn. Do you mind telling me why you’re pointing a gun at a federal agent?”

Jason saw reasoning in Jagger’s question and lowered his gun. He was still cautious of Jagger, instincts kicking in that even though he was Sonny’s dead best friend’s brother, he was still on the opposite side of the law.

“I’m looking for someone as well.”

“Hmm, well maybe we’re looking for the same person.”

“I doubt it.”

Jagger sighed as he set down the piece of paper he was reading and folded his arms across his chest.

“I’ve been chasing him all across the country. He’s wanted by the FBI for the murder of two agents.”

“No one here that fits that description.”

“He goes by many aliases. The only one I’ve been able to track is Ewen Keenan.”

Jason’s blue eyes flared with anger when Jagger mentioned Damiano’s name.

“I take it you’re looking for him as well?”

Jason nodded his head.

“His real name is Damiano Soleito, son of crime lord Gino Soleito. Why are you looking for him? Did he do something to Sonny?”

“Look, I don’t have any time to waste.”

Jason turns around to leave.

“Perhaps I can help you.”

“I work better alone.”

“True, but I know where his hideout is.”

Jason turned around and lunged at Jagger, disregarding the fact that he was assaulting a federal agent. He pushes Jagger down on the desk and holds him by the collar.

“Where is he?”

Jagger is unfazed by Jason’s menacing tones and stone cold glare.

“He has a warehouse in New York City.”

Brad had given Jason an address for a Soleito warehouse in New York. Jason let go of Jagger and turned around to leave.

“Morgan, I need him for questioning. There are still some unanswered questions regarding other murders.”

Jason didn’t turn around to respond to Jagger’s subtle threat. Elizabeth depended on him to find her, and he couldn’t let her down.

Straddling his bike, he took off for New York City with the Soleito’s warehouse address in hand.

Once he reaches the warehouse, he knew he was at the right place.

There were ten feet high walls surrounding the warehouse, with watchtowers at each corner. Guards patrolled the outside of the walls.

Jason hid behind a nearby warehouse, applying the silencer to his trusty handgun.

It was dark, and there was no light coming for the watchtowers. Jason stayed to the shadows, concealing himself from view.

He crept up behind a guard, effectively grabbed his head in his hands and swiftly broke his neck. Jason pulled on the guard’s jacket and ski mask, knowing that was the only way to get into the warehouse. He picked up the guard’s assault rifle and sprinted for the entrance.

Waiting for the guard near the entrance to move, Jason walked towards the door and silently opened it.

It was dark inside, and as he held up the gun, he cautiously walked through the halls. There were no doors, something that worried Jason.

* * *

Elizabeth waited for the guard to come back for her tray. She heard footsteps outside her door. She quickly got up off the bed and decided that it was now or never. Metal tray in hand, she hid on the other side of the door.

The guard walked in, confused as to where Elizabeth was.

She crept out from behind the door and hit the man over the head with her tray. He shuddered and fell to the ground, effectively knocked out.

Elizabeth checked his pulse, making sure he was okay. She grabbed her knife from under her pillow and checked the hallway to make sure it was clear. She had no idea where she was going; she just knew she had to keep moving.

Hearing a commotion behind her, and knows that it’s been discovered that she escaped. Seeing another corridor ahead of her, she makes a run for it.

* * *

Jason hears yelling around the corner and picks up his pace. Praying to God that Elizabeth was all right, Jason sprints to the corner and waits. He finally found a door and stood by it.

 _How long will you be afraid  
_ _Are you afraid_

Hearing someone running towards him, he cocks his assault rifle and waits patiently.

The perpetrator rounds the corner and Jason lunges out. He grabs the small person from behind and puts a hand over their mouth, trying to suffocate them. He pulls them through the door and into what seems a storage closet.

He hears a muffled scream, realizing that it was a female’s voice.

Jason’s heart nearly stops when he lets go and turns on the light.

Elizabeth is standing in front of him, fear in her eyes as she moves away from him.

It gives him a sense of déjà vu to when he rescued her at the Metro Court and they had been stuck in an elevator. Forgetting that he had a mask on, he quickly pulls it off. Once Elizabeth realizes who it is, she flings herself into his arms and he envelops her in a hug.

“Jason, you found me.”

“I told you I would.”

Jason pulls back to check her face.

“Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine. How did you find me?”

Jason was puzzled. He wasn’t quite sure.

“I…I just did.”

He holds her hands in his, reveling in the closeness. He feels something sharp in her one hand and looks down.

Elizabeth follows his eyes and smirks.

“Well, it’s not my trusty artist’s knife, but I had to make do.”

The relief was evident in his laugh. He couldn’t stop laughing. Elizabeth looked confused, and he couldn’t explain it.

“I’m just…glad I found you.”

“Me too.”

Jason pulls a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear. She touches his cheek and he closes his eyes.

He pulls out his handgun from his waistband and hands it to her. She doesn’t take it at first, but Jason gives her an encouraging smile.

“I need you to be protected. If we get separated or if I… I just you to be safe.”

Elizabeth nodded and held the gun firmly in her hand. She was against wielding a gun, but knew that when the situation called for it, she would do whatever it takes to get back to her boys.

They both knew what he meant. If he was hurt or killed, she needed something better than a knife to protect herself with.

There was always this small part of him that thought he would never feel this again. That he wouldn’t find her in time.

“We need to get out of here.”

Elizabeth nods in agreement.

Firmly grasping one of her hands in his, he slowly opens the door and peers out.

Seeing that it was safe, he pulls his mask back on and pulls Elizabeth out behind him.

Shielding her from whatever that would come for them, they run down the dark hallway.

Stopping at the corner, Jason stops and peers around it. It was silent, but his instincts were kicking in.

Something was wrong.

Something was very wrong.

He takes another look around the corner to see five men charging down the hallway towards them.

Jason takes a breath, closes his eyes and calms his mind.

Steeling his nerves and reloading his assault rifle, he waits a moment.

Turning to Elizabeth, not saying a word, but saying everything with his eyes.

He’s telling her to run.

She’s telling him she’s staying with him.

His eyes are pleading with her. He never wanted her to see him like this.

A killer.

He gives her a little push and he can see tears in her sapphire eyes.

The footsteps are growing louder. Jason mouths the word go.

_She has got to be the most stubborn woman on the planet._

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

She shakes her head as she starts to run back towards the way they came. He watches her open the storage closet door. She looks back once and he nods his head, letting her know it’s okay.

Elizabeth closes the door just as the men round the corner. Jason reaches out for the first man and grabs his gun.

 _How long will you play this game  
_ _Will you fight or will you walk away_

Twisting it upwards, he hits the man square in the face, rendering him unconscious.

The next man isn’t as clueless he aims his gun for Jason and fires, but Jason quick reflexes and instincts have him duck in the nick of time. Jason runs forward and grabs the man around the waist.

Slamming him into the wall, Jason stands up to his full height and head butts the man.

Jason looks over to see the next man aiming his gun. Pulling the one man with him, Jason uses him as a body shield and waits for the man to shoot. Two shots are fired into the body in front of him. He pushes the body forward into the other man. Kicking the body, Jason knocks over the other man.

The final two guards round the corner, but Jason fires two shots, each in the forehead. The guard on the floor is still alive, and Jason kneels on the dead guard’s body.

“Where is Damiano?”

The guard struggles to breathe with the dead weight.

“I assume you’re looking for me?”

 _How long will you let it burn_  
_Let it burn  
_ _Let it burn_

Jason spun around to see Damiano standing in front of him. He sees behind Damiano that Elizabeth has opened the storage closet door.

He slightly shakes his head, only noticeable to Elizabeth.

“Where is Elizabeth?”

“I think you already know the answer to that question, Mr. Morgan.”

Jason stepped closer to Damiano, gun aimed for his head.

“What are you doing in Port Charles?”

“I thought you were a smart man, Jason. I would think that you would understand.”

“I know you’re here to take down Sonny. Why did you kidnap Elizabeth?”

“Because it’s all part of the plan. The only way to take down Sonny is to go through you. The only way to cripple you is to take away the thing you want most. A life with your dead child’s mother.”

Jason lunged for Damiano, but he surprised Jason by moving out of the way.

“Yes, I know all about the Quartermaine heir, Jacob Martin Spencer.”

Jason lunged at Damiano again, out of anger for his deceased son. Damiano swiftly moved and kicked Jason to the ground.

“You know, around the Mob underworld, there’s talk of Sonny Corinthos’ deadly enforcer. Some don’t even utter his name because of the fear that’s bestowed their hearts.”

Damiano kicked Jason in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

“Jason Morgan, you are pathetic. You are weak. You abandoned your child when he needed you the most. You left the love of your life, the woman of your dreams, because of your life, your choices. You left your son unprotected and you are the reason he’s dead. How could you ever marry the woman who watched your son be kidnapped or hired two men to hold Elizabeth and her sons at gunpoint? What kind of man are you? Did you ever really love Elizabeth? You are a horrible father, and a coward.” 

Between each sentence, Damiano kicked Jason in the ribs. He could hear them cracking and took the beating.

Damiano was right.

He was pathetic and weak. He left the family he wanted and loved unprotected. He left and because of that his son is dead.

“You went back to the woman that you threatened to kill. People call me twisted, but Jason, you are on a whole another level. Do you know how much you hurt Elizabeth by doing that? How she had to swallow her pain every time she saw the two of you together. You promised her everything and more, but you broke your promise. You gave it to another woman and left your son in the dust. You are a horrible father, and a coward.”

Everything Damiano said was right, and Jason hated him for it.

How could he have gone back to Sam after all the things she had done to Elizabeth and her sons?

“Yes, I know you were drugged, but that’s not an excuse. How can you call yourself a man? Maybe it’s a good thing that Jake is dead, that way he will never have to know how much of a coward his real father is.”

Jason could take anything Damiano could throw at him, and at this point Damiano was this close to beating him to an inch of his life.

_Maybe I should just give up now. It will spare everyone of the pain I inflict upon them._

Jason closed his eyes and resigned to his fate.

_“Daddy, open your eyes!”_

Darkness swirled around him, but he could see a faint light up ahead.

The sound of his son’s voice echoed through his mind.

_How can I be dreaming? I can’t dream._

_“Daddy, you need to save Mommy. Wake up!”_

Jason ran towards his son’s voice. The light was growing brighter, and his son’s voice rose.

_“I forgive you Daddy.”_

The light faded to black and Jason’s eyes opened.

Jake’s voice rang in his ears.

_I forgive you Daddy._

Jason shook his head, but it wasn’t a dream. He looked up to see Damiano still kicking him.

_Daddy, you have to get up._

He listened to his son’s voice. Jason punched Damiano’s kneecap, forcing him to the ground. Jason got up and drove his knee into Damiano’s chest.

“You’re right. I did fail my son and Elizabeth. I was a coward and I was pathetic for going back to Sam. I settled for someone who fit my life. It’s no excuse, but it is what it is.”

“You can’t go back and fix it.”

Jason smiled as he leaned in closer.

“You’re right. I can’t. But I can change what is happening now.”

Jason picked up his gun and pushed it into Damiano’s temple.

“I should paint the walls with your brains.”

“Do it then. Be the monster you were born to be.”

Jason cocked his gun, and his finger slid over the trigger.

“Jason!”

Her scream cut through his clouded mind. He turned his head to see Sam holding Elizabeth with a gun to her head.

“Let her go Sam!”

“Not until you let him go first.”

Jason growled, knowing that Sam would pull the trigger. He reluctantly got up off Damiano and put his hands in the air.

Damiano smirked as he got up and punched Jason in the stomach. He fell to his knees.

“Let her go Damiano. I’ll do anything you want, just…let her go”

Damiano stroked his goatee, as if he was considering Jason’s offer.

“If I let her go, where’s my insurance policy?”

Jason struggled to stand as he held his ribs. He could feel them poking out of his stomach and the blood seeping through his black t-shirt.

“Wh-what do…you mean?”

“I guess I’ll just have to show you.”

Damiano nodded past Jason to a guard standing behind him. Jason turned around to see two guards moving towards him.

He could see that they were each holding something.

His heart flooded with fear as he saw what they were holding.

In their arms were Cameron and Aiden.

Jason heard Elizabeth gasp in surprise.

“This is your fault Jason. You just have to come save Elizabeth.”

“Because you kidnapped her.”

“Well, I needed a Plan B. You’re looking at them.”

“Let them go. They’re just kids.”

Damiano grinned as he nodded to the guards holding Cameron and Aiden.

“I’ll have to get back to you about that.”

Damiano turned around and started to walk away.

“Jason, don’t let them take my sons!”

Jason looked to Elizabeth, who was being dragged away by Sam. He then turned around to see the guards holding Cameron and Aiden walking away.

He follows the guards holding Cameron and Aiden, but his injuries stop him from pursuing them. Jason falls to the ground in agony. Lifting up his shirt, he can see his ribs sticking out of his stomach.

The sight alone sends him into oblivion.

* * *

Opening his eyes, he saw that he was in the foyer of the Quartermaine Mansion. He blinked a couple of times and rubbed at his eyes to see if he was dreaming.

“Jason, what are you doing here?”

Jason turned around to see Emily near the steps, standing.

_This can’t be real. Emily’s dead._

“Emily, how are you alive…is this a dream…am I…?”

Emily gave him a warm smile.

“This is whatever you think it is. I think it’s a conversation that’s been a long time coming for the both of us.”

“So am I dead?”

“That depends.”

Jason was thoroughly confused.

“On what?”

“On what you decide.”

Emily motioned to Jason to follow her outside. He complied, considering he had no idea what was going on.

“If I’m not dead, then how come I’m here?”

“Jase, this might be a little hard to explain-”

“So explain it.”

“You’re neither dead nor alive. You’re merely existing. You’re like a ghost, stuck between two worlds.”

“And how do I get back?”

“Only you can answer that question.”

Jason continued to follow Emily through the Quartermaine grounds. She stopped occasionally to smell Lila’s roses. Jason silently walked behind her, not quite believing the sight in front of him.

“Emily, what am I supposed to do?”

“If you could go back and change just one thing about your life, would you? And if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change ultimately break your heart? Or break the heart of another? Would you choose an entirely different path? Or would you change just one thing? Just one moment. One moment that you always wanted back…”

Jason was stunned by her questions.

“I have no regrets.”

“C’mon Jason, I know you better than that. I also know when you’re lying.”

“I don’t lie.”

“You’re lying to yourself Jase. You have to be honest with yourself before we can move on.”

“Fine, there are decisions that I wish I could take back, but I have learned that you can’t change the past. You have to move on.”

“Name one moment.” 

“I wish that I could have saved Alan.”

Emily solemnly nodded her head as they both acknowledged the pain of losing their father.

“I also wish that I could have saved you during the Black and White Ball.”

“Jason, neither of those was your fault.”

“Yes they were. If I had just-”

Emily placed her hand on Jason’s forearm, ceasing his pointless argument.

“Jason, they weren’t you’re fault. I was meant to die at that point in time, the same with Alan. What is the one moment you could take back that was actually your fault?”

Jason thought hard about this one, but once he came to the conclusion, he knew all along that this was the one decision that has haunted his life for the past few years.

“I wish I would have fought for Elizabeth and Jake.”

Emily smiled at his answer and Jason realized it was the right answer.

“But I couldn’t keep them safe. They deserve better than me. I’m not…good.”

Emily laughed, which annoyed Jason.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re wrong. But if you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody, and you always find 'em, then I guess at some point maybe you should let go and give your heart what it deserves.”

“And that makes you laugh?”

“No, it just shows how much you’re like me.”

“I don’t see how this is helping.”

“If you could have a life with Elizabeth and her sons, would you take it?”

Jason nodded his head, which prompted Emily to smack him on the head.

“What was that for?”

“Then go have that life with Elizabeth.”

“It’s too dang-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Jason. I know how much you love Elizabeth. I’ve seen it. The way your eyes light up every time she enters the room. The way you talk to her like no one else. The way you find each other when one needs comforting. The way you can be yourself around each other without being judged. You make her feel free and safe, while she makes you feel carefree and happy. She is your other half. Elizabeth is your soul mate. ”

“You don’t think I know that? I love Elizabeth. I have for a long time, but my life is too dangerous for her and her boys. What if something happened to them and it was because of my enemies? How could I live with myself?”

“Death can come from anywhere at any time. Don’t waste you’re time on this earth being unhappy and unloved. Use it being happy and loved. It’s not about the time you wasted separate, it’s about the time you lived together.”

Emily started to walk away.

“What does that mean?”

Emily didn’t answer him, and Jason found that he had a hard time keeping up with her. She turned around one last time to look at him.

“Just think Jase, you could be a big part of someone else's life and not know it.”

“Em, what does that mean? What am I supposed to do?”

_The answer is already in your heart._

Jason looked around to see that Emily was gone.

_The answer is already in your heart._

Jason closed his eyes, and then opened them.

He was back at the warehouse, on the floor. He looked down to see that his ribs were still protruding from his stomach.

_The answer is already in your heart._

The words echoed in his head, and he couldn’t get them out.

_You know what you have to do._

Years from now he still wouldn’t be able to explain what changed in that moment.

It was like a light switch being turned on, but so much more than that.

It was like a fog had been lifted from his mind, much like when he had realized Sam had been drugging him for the past four years.

Except the fog wasn’t in his mind, it was in his heart.

_Find her._

Jason struggled to get up, but he knew that he had to ignore the pain.

_Pain is just a weakness leaving the body._

He stood up and walked down the hallway, following the guards that had Cameron and Aiden.

Jason’s vision flickers from the blood loss, but he keeps going. The guards separate, forcing Jason to choose which son to go after. He is pained to see that Cameron woke up.

“Jason, what’s going on?”

“Hang…hang in there Cam.”

Cameron started to squirm in the guard’s arms, causing the guard to move faster.

“Please, let him go.”

The guard looks back at Jason and takes off down the hallway. Jason looks around to see that the guard holding Aiden had disappeared. He is forced to follow Cameron.

“Jason!”

The pain and fear in Cameron’s fueled Jason’s anger. He reached deep down inside himself and picked up his pace.

This warehouse was enormous, bigger than any he or Sonny had ever owned. There are numerous connecting hallways, and the lights were dimmed down to almost darkness.

Jason limped along, trying to ignore the pain that was erupting in his stomach.

He couldn’t get his mind off the idea of Elizabeth, Cameron or Aiden dying. For him to fail them would be the worst moment of his life.

_Don’t give up hope._

Jason could hear Emily’s voice echoing in his head, something that wasn’t normal.

He sighed, trying to stay positive and to keep on going.

Jason stopped at a corner to hear the guard open a door and close it. He took a breath, cocked his gun and ran for the door. He opened it and immediately brought his gun up to eye level.

The sight in front of him shattered his steel nerves.

The room was empty except for Damiano standing in the middle of the room, gun pressed into Cameron’s head. Aiden was in the corner, playing with a toy.

“Please place your gun on the ground Mr. Morgan.”

Jason complied, staying calm for Cameron’s sake. He could tell that Cameron was physically shaking. 

“Let him Damiano. Take me instead.”

Jason kneeled down and placed his gun on the ground.

“Kick it over here.”

Jason kicked the gun over to Damiano, who then kicked it behind him. Jason put his hands behind his head. The pain was unbearable, but Jason ignored it.

He had no other choice.

“Let Cameron go. He’s just a boy.”

Damiano smirked and cocked the gun. Jason moved forward towards Damiano and Cameron.

Cameron gasped in fear.

“What do you want Damiano? I’ll give you whatever you want, just please let Cameron go. He didn’t do anything wrong. Just take me instead.”

Damiano stared at him, not saying a word.

“Tell him he’s going to be okay Morgan.”

Jason stared right back at Damiano.

“Do it!”

Damiano pressed the gun harder into Cameron’s head.

“Why are you doing this?”

Damiano sighed and moved the gun away from Cameron’s head, but didn’t let go of the boy.

“Your ‘partner’, Sonny Corinthos, tore apart my family. He betrayed my father to Anthony Zacchara, who then whored out his daughter to my father. Thus creating the infamous Johnny Zacchara, my half-brother. It broke my mother’s heart and destroyed my parent’s marriage. My father never recovered from that, and to this day every decision he’s made has hurt my family.”

“Why are you doing your father’s dirty work? Why not have one of his thugs do it? Trying to impress Daddy?”

Jason smirked at Damiano, trying to bait him into attacking Jason and let go of Cameron.

“That’s not going to work Morgan.”

“Damiano, let the boy go. He’s innocent. If you want me, I’m right here.”

Jason was moving ever so closer to Damiano and Cameron, hoping the Soleito heir wouldn’t notice.

“If you think I’m imprudent enough to not notice your movement, then you have another thing coming.”

“Why did you kill all those innocent people? Like Spinelli or Olivia? They never did anything to you.”

Damiano thought hard and long about his answer.

“I thought it was good sport. Because some men, like me, aren't looking for anything logical, like money. We can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

Damiano laughed as he raised the gun back up to Cameron’s head.

“On your knees Morgan. Lie to him. Tell him everything’s going to be alright.”

Jason fell to his knees, pain evident on his face. He looked at Cameron, seeing fear in his eyes. It shook him down to his core.

Never in his life had he been so afraid.

So afraid to fail.

“Cam, it’s going to be alright.”

A tear rolled down Jason’s cheek as Cameron nodded his head.

“Anything you would like to say to Mr. Morgan?”

Damiano nudged Cameron and he looked up at him. He pushed Cameron towards Jason.

“I’m so sorry Cameron.”

Jason held the boy at arm’s length. He could feel Cameron shaking under his firm grasp. Jason looked around him to see Damiano’s gun touching Cameron’s back.

“Save my mom and brother.” 

Jason couldn’t help it; tears freely flowed down his cheeks.

At that precise moment, Cameron was his mother’s son.

So selfless in the face of danger.

Worrying about other’s happiness at the expense of his own.

“I promise I will.”

Cameron nodded his head, refusing to cry in front of Jason. He wanted to be strong for everyone.

“Remember Batman, Jason?”

Jason nodded his head. Cameron spent hours telling Jason about Batman. Jason didn’t understand the concept of a man wearing a mask and running around in his underwear saving people, but was captivated about how passionate Cameron was about his favorite superhero.

“You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”

Jason closed his eyes, understanding Cameron’s statement. Cameron was talking about him. How Jason wanted to be a good man, but his line of work prevented him.

“Jason, can you…tell my mom…?”

It was like the Hoover Dam broke. Tears flooded from Cameron’s eyes and Jason wanted to hold the boy in his arms and protect him from anything that would cause him harm.

The fear and pain in Cameron’s voice unleashed an uncontrollable anger deep inside of Jason.

Something that had been harboring there for years, but waited for the opportune moment.

Time seemed to slow down for Jason in the next minute.

He wiped away Cameron’s tears and made the little boy open his eyes. Willing Cameron to understand what he was saying with his eyes, Cameron nodded his head slightly.

 _Will you wait until it all burns down  
_ _Will you hide until it all burns down_

With a fierce growl, Jason threw Cameron out of the way. He watched Cameron fall to the ground, making sure he was okay.

Jason reached up and grabbed Damiano’s gun. He twisted Damiano’s wrist and knocked the gun out of his hand. Damiano kicked Jason in the face, but the anger coursed through Jason’s veins and fueled the fire within.

Jason leapt up, barely feeling Damiano’s blow. He punched Damiano in the jaw, pushing Damiano back a few paces. Jason sets his stance as he waits for Damiano to react. Jason couldn’t feel the pain in his ribs anymore; adrenaline was pumping through him and gave him a power he had never felt.

Damiano swings his fist at Jason, but he catches it in his and pushes it away. Jason punches Damiano in the stomach, forcing him to lean over. Jason dealt a devastating blow to Damiano’s neck, forcing him into the ground.

He goes to stomp on Damiano’s back, but Damiano rolls out of his way and gets back up. Damiano pulls a knife out of his sleeve and catches Jason off guard. 

The knife plunges deep into his right shoulder, and Jason can feel the knife just missing his bone.

He yells out in pain and Damiano pushes the knife in deeper. Jason grabs Damiano’s shoulder and pulls him closer to him.

“Jason Morgan, Mob Enforcer, come to die.”

Jason groans in pain as he holds onto Damiano.

“This marks the day in history as the day that infamous Jason Morgan was killed by Mob Prince Damiano Soleito. It’s got a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

Damiano laughs as he lets go of the knife and walks away from a swaying Jason. He can see that Damiano is walking towards his gun and picks it up, aiming it at Cameron.

Jason pulls the knife out of his shoulder, moving past the excruciating pain in his shoulder and blood that seeps into his black t-shirt.

He moved towards an unknowing Damiano and grabs his shoulder.

 _Will it hurt when it all burns down  
_ _Will you fight when it all burns down_

Turning him around, Jason rams the knife into Damiano’s throat.

The man falls to his knees and Jason holds onto his shoulder.

“This is for Max.”

Jason finally sees the fear in Damiano’s eyes as the blood stains Jason’s hands. He pulls the knife back out and plunges it into Damiano’s throat once again.

“This is for Spinelli.”

Blood spurts out of Damiano’s throat onto Jason’s face, but he ignores it.

All he can see is red.

He pulls the knife back out and plunges it into Damiano’s heart.

“This is for betraying Elizabeth’s trust and for ever being with her.”

Jason removes the knife one last time, trying to catch his breath. Damiano’s eyes are flickering, but Jason can still see the fear and pain in them.

Jason gives out one last growl of pain as he slips the knife under Damiano’s rib cage and into his lung.

 _Will you stand when it all burns down  
_ _Will you love when it all burns down_

“This is for threatening my son Cameron.”

Damiano’s eyes roll into the back of his head, but not before his last words.

“I just…want to watch the world burn.”

He breathes his last breath of life and Jason lets go of him. Damiano falls to the floor, but Jason continues to kick him for all the pain Damiano ever caused him.

“Dad.”

He had never heard that term of endearment meant for him. Jason fell to his knees in shock and complete exhaustion.

Jason felt Cameron’s arms wrap around his shoulders, holding him up.

“Daddy, Mom needs you. You have to get up.”

Jason looked up at Cameron and could tell that he was everything that boy ever wanted for a father and more. He looked at Cameron and knew that he would be his son; no matter what would happen between him and Elizabeth, he would always consider Cameron his son.

He used the love he had for Cameron, and vice versa, and found the strength inside of himself to get up.

“Cam, I need you to stay here. Protect your brother. Lock the door behind me and don’t open it for anyone except your Mom or I. Understand?”

Cameron nodded his head and held onto Jason even tighter.

“Alright, go on.”

Jason let go of Cameron and stood up. He went over to Aiden to check on him. Aiden smiled at the familiar face and held up his arms. Jason complied and picked the little boy up. He pressed his lips to the boy’s forehead and held him close. After a minute of thanking God, Jason sits him back down on the floor.

He retrieves his gun and pulls Damiano out into the hallway.

Jason listened for the lock behind him and prayed to any God that was out there to protect his son.

Jason pulled Damiano’s body into a nearby storage closet and locks it in there.

He sighs as he applies pressure to his shoulder. Jason cocks his gun and takes off for Elizabeth and Aiden.

* * *

She could feel the sweat dripping down her back and the cold metal of a barrel of a gun pressed into her temple.

She let out a calming breath as she felt Sam’s arm around her stomach, pulling her down the hallway.

Elizabeth had watched Jason take off for Cameron and Aiden. Damiano left Elizabeth alone with Sam to deal with Jason himself.

Now they were stuck in a room alone.

“He’s dead. You do know that, right?”

Elizabeth looked up from her position of sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall opposite of Sam.

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh I think I do.”

“How could you let him threaten my sons?”

Sam rolled her eyes and that’s when Elizabeth lost it. She screamed and lunged out at Sam, fighting with everything she got.

She knew that something was wrong and she had to see her sons. Sam was in her way and Elizabeth knew what she had to do to get to her sons. They pulled at each other’s hair, but it did no good. Elizabeth pulled away and swung at Sam’s face. Her fist connected with her nose and Elizabeth saw the blood gush from Sam’s nose.

“You bitch!”

Sam tackled Elizabeth to the ground and pulled out her ground.

Aiming it for Elizabeth’s head, Sam smiled.

“After I’m done with you, I’ll deal with your bastards.”

She cocked the gun, but Elizabeth rolled over. They kept rolling, fighting over possession of the gun.

A shot rang out and Elizabeth froze.

 _Will it end when it all burns down  
_ _Will you just let it all burns down_

She felt blood underneath her fingertips and she immediately got up off of Sam.

Elizabeth crawled away from Sam, whose entrails were slowly spilling out onto the floor. Sam struggled to find words, and Elizabeth looked down at the gun in her hands. Elizabeth watches as Sam shakes from shock and blood loss. She is slowly dying in front of Elizabeth’s eyes.

It’s her natural instinct to save people. It’s one of the main reason she became a surgical nurse. To save people when they were hurt. But it was against Elizabeth’s nature to kill anyone. It went against everything she stood for.

Now as she watched Sam gasping for breath, she couldn’t physically get herself to move and help Sam.

Elizabeth was in shock that she killed a person.

She let the gun fall from her hands and pulled her knees up to her chest.

 Elizabeth entered into shock and slowly rocked back and forth. She didn’t notice that Sam muttered her last breath as her blood continued to seep into the floor.

 _How long can you stand the pain  
_ _How long will you hide your face_

Her mind completely shut down due to the overwhelming emotions she was feeling.

* * *

Jason retraced his steps, hoping against hope that he would find Elizabeth. He checks every room he can find, but they’re all empty. It seems the guards have all left, something that surprises Jason.

Finally at his wit’s end, Jason opens another door. The sight in front of him almost makes his heart stop and leap for joy.

Sam is lying on the ground, a pool of blood around her. Sitting against a wall was Elizabeth, a gun near her.

Jason’s heart broke at the sight of her.

 _How long will you be afraid  
_ _Are you afraid_

He got down on his hands and knees and slowly crawled over to her.

“Elizabeth, it’s me, Jason.”

Elizabeth looks at him and it seems to break her trance.

“Jason?”

Jason breathes a sigh of relief.

“What happened to you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Where are my boys?”

Elizabeth gets up in panic, but Jason holds her in his arms.

“They’re safe.”

“Take me to my boys!”

Jason nods and helps her up, but almost falls from the loss of blood.

“Jason, you’ve lost a lot of blood.”

Coming to her senses, she places his one good arm over her shoulders and takes some of his weight off of him. She helps him down the hallway as he directs her back to Cameron and Aiden.

Elizabeth knocks on the door with baited breath.

“Cameron, sweetie, it’s Mommy and Jason. It’s safe to come out now.”

The door swings open and Cameron runs into Elizabeth’s arms. She cries as she holds her oldest son in her arms.

Jason hobbles over to where Aiden is and picks him up with his one good arm.

Settling Aiden on his hip, he limps back over to Elizabeth and Cameron are sitting.

Elizabeth takes Aiden from him and holds her sons in her arms. Kissing them back on the forehead, she speaks in calming tones, as if she trying to calm herself down.

Jason watches the heart-rending scene.

She looks up at Jason and nods towards him. He joins them on the ground and wraps his arms around Elizabeth and her boys.

“You’re safe now. You’re all safe now.”

As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone.

* * *

They drove back to the safe house in silence. Elizabeth sat in the back seat of the SUV, her arms around both of her sons.

Jason drove, with his eye continuing to watch the three most important people in his life.

They finally make it back. Jason tries to pick up a sleeping Cameron, but Elizabeth refuses.

“We need to take care of your shoulder.”

“I’m fine.”

“Jason, you’re lucky to be alive.”

Jason sighs, not wanting to argue with Elizabeth. He walks her up to the front door and opens it for her.

She settles Cameron and Aiden in the guest room and closes the door behind them.

He’s sitting on the couch, trying to move his shoulder.

“Let me take a look at that.”

She lifts up the sleeve of his black t-shirt. He groans as her fingertips hover over his deep wound.

“You’re going to need stitches.”

She went to get up, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down to him.

He wrapped his one good arm around her and held her in his arms.

His lips came up to her ear and the following words made her shudder.

“I never thought I would hold you in my arms again.”

“Neither did I.”

He pulled away and looked into her deep sapphire eyes. She cupped his cheek and got up to get the first-aid kit.

Coming back into the front room armed with surgical tools, she sits back down on the couch.

“Alright, you need to take your shirt off.”

“Whoa, I think you need to buy me dinner first.”

Elizabeth smiled at his playfulness, and trying to get her to laugh.

She helped him take off his shirt, and she ignored all her senses that were driving her wild over his muscular body.

Elizabeth tried to ignore his tanned chest and washboard abs, but her hands didn’t listen.

Her hand touched his chest once, and he placed his hand over hers.

She looked up into his eyes, seeing the relief that he had found her and her boys.

Elizabeth cleared her throat and the moment was broken.

He looked away from her as she grabbed the rubbing alcohol.

“This is going to sting.”

Jason nodded his head for her to continue.

He groaned as she cleaned his wound and found comfort in the fact that he let put his hand over hers to draw strength from.

She quickly stitched him up. The wound wasn’t bad, and it was much better than his others.

Elizabeth ran her hands through her hair.

“How are you feeling?”

Jason touched her arm and she looked at him.

“I’m fine.”

Jason cocked his head to the side, signaling that he knew she was lying.

"I should've stopped it."

"Stopped what? Stopped us from becoming friends all those years ago? Stop me from falling in love with you? I knew the problem going into it and I dealt with it, even when you left. You see that's what hurts, that every time we come close to happiness you disappear from my life and then I am left with all this love and all these dreams and no place to put them."

He could tell that she was upset and all he wanted to do was comfort her. He goes to do just that, but she pulls away from him.

“I’ll be fine. I’m going to take a shower.”

Jason lets go of her arm and watches her walk off into the bedroom. He leans back against the couch and closes his eyes.

He hears the water running in the background and finds it oddly soothing. Jason moves his shoulder around, testing to see if there was any permanent damage. He gets up and walks into the guest bedroom.

Cameron is sound asleep in the bed, while Aiden is snoozing in his crib. Jason kneels down next to Cameron’s head and moves his dark curls out of his eyes. Jason watches him for a few minutes, and then kisses him on the forehead.

He moves to Aiden, who is clinging to his lion stuffed animal. Jason rubs his stomach and holds one of Aiden’s hands. He kisses Aiden on the top of the head and moves out into the main room.

Jason notices that the shower is still running and it’s been well over half and hour.

_She’s just taking her time._

His instincts tell him otherwise. He walks into the bedroom and towards the bathroom door.

Jason lightly knocks and waits for a response.

“Elizabeth, it’s me. Are you okay?”

There’s no response. He doesn’t want to intrude on her privacy, but she didn’t answer him.

He opens the door to see Elizabeth sitting under the showerhead, fully clothes and soaking wet. Jason closes the door behind him and looks at Elizabeth’s face.

“I can’t get her blood off of my hands.”

She wringing her hands in the water, but they were perfectly clean. Her eyes are dim and she visibly shaking. He opens the shower door and sits down next to her.

He doesn’t care that he’s getting wet, she matters more.

Without saying anything, he wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his lap.

He holds onto her for what seems hours. He rocks them back and forth, gently running his hand through her hair and talking in soothing tones. She rests her hands on her bare chest and lays her head in the crooks of his neck.

Jason finally reaches up and turns the water off. Elizabeth gratefully looks up at him. He nods to her and helps her up.

He opens the door and leads her into the bedroom. He pulls out a robe for her to change into.

Jason turns around to give her privacy. Once she’s done, he makes sure she’s tucked into bed. He leans over her and places a kiss on her forehead. He turns around to leave, but she sits up and grabs his wrist.

 _How long will you play this game  
_ _Will you fight or will you walk away_

She pulls him back to her and forces him on top of her.

"People who are meant to be together always find a way to each other."

Her words entrance him. She searches his eyes to see a certain vulnerability that only he is allowing her to see. Something that was rare in Jason Morgan.

His breathing increases at being so close to her. He puts his weight on his elbows as he stares into her beautiful blue eyes.

“I feel so numb.”

His lips move closer to hers. Staring at her lips, then her eyes, then back down to her lips. They are inches away and Jason is barely restraining himself.

“I want to feel alive. I…need to feel alive.”

Just before their lips touch-

“Jason, please make me feel alive.”

"I never should have let you go."

"I don't want to think about anything tonight. I just want to be here right in this moment, safe…with you."

 _How long will you let it burn_  
_Let it burn  
_ _Let it burn_

She looked into his electric blue eyes to see them hooded with desire. She felt a wave of fear pass through her, not that she was afraid of him, but afraid of what they’re about to do and knowing that she’s going to want more.

Jason sees the flash of happiness and desire in her eyes before he slowly kisses her, giving her the comfort she needs.

He looked at her lips right before they collided. He gently ran his tongue along her upper lip, begging for entrance and she generously obliged. Their tongues fought for dominance as he pulled at her robe.

She puts up with it at first, and then takes control. He feels her pulling at his belt buckle and helps her take off his jeans.

He rips off her robe to see that she’s completely naked underneath. His eyes ravage her body, taking everything in. His eyes move back up to her face to see her slightly blushing.

It makes his heart swell with pride that he can make her blush.

Jason’s madly kissing her now, every inch of her body. He places featherlike kisses down her neck, in between her breasts and down to her stomach.

He moves back up to the crook of her neck, nibbling on her sweet spot. He hears her groan and he growls in return with pride.

Everywhere her fingers touched, heat followed. He had never felt so alive! His muscles contracted under her masterful artist’s hands. She ran them over his chest and his abs, taking care of not missing a spot.

Impatient, she pulls his head back up to her lips. Jason smiles into their kiss, knowing how feisty Elizabeth can really be.

Elizabeth takes control of the kiss, which Jason doesn’t mind. His hands are roaming her body; nothing is off limits to him.

He is hers and she is his.

He runs his hand through her wet hair, basking in the moment that their lives were finally in sync.

His hands continue to roam her body and she pulls at his boxers. He swats her hands away, but she continues relentless. He gives in, knowing that he wants what she wants.

Elizabeth pulls them down and Jason kicks them off. He resumes their kiss, their tongues fighting for dominance.

Jason grabs her hands and entwines their fingers. He lifts their hands above her head and pin them there.

Jason pulls away from their passionate and fervent kiss to look into her eyes.

“There’s no going back after this.”

Elizabeth smirked as she pulled him back down to her. Her eyes are hooded with desire and longing, almost sending Jason over the edge.

“Jason, I need you now.” 

_Let it burn_

He takes that as her answer as he plunges into her. He feels her moan in his mouth as he lets her get used to his size.

There was no feeling in the world that could describe what he was experiencing.

It was like a man that was dying in a desert and finally found water.

Jason set his pace slow, wanting to enjoy every minute of it. Elizabeth’s hips rock with his, and he increases his speed.

Feeling close to the edge, he opens his eyes and pulls his lips away. She opens her eyes so they can both reach the climax together. Reaching the peak together, they both ride down on the high.

He collapsed on top of her, as they both caught their breath.

They were silent, knowing how much this meant to both of them. He kisses her shoulder as he rolled them over to his side and held her close to him.

She placed her head on his chest and her arm across his stomach. He wraps his good arm around her and holds her close.

Her lower body swings over onto his. Her legs entangle with his as their feet touch.

Elizabeth looks up into Jason’s eyes. He watches her with wonder, wanting to say everything he was feeling, but didn’t know how.

_Let it burn_

“Words cannot express how much I miss the feeling of “home” when I was in your arms.”

Elizabeth smiled at his compliment and kissed his chest in content.

“I missed you so much.”

He ran his hand through her hair soothingly.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you and the boys.”

“But you’re here now.”

“And I’m not going anywhere.”

Jason kissed the top of her hair and pulled the blanket over top of them.

There were times in their lives where they were finally in sync to be together. Sometimes it could last for months, and others it could only last for one night.

Destiny, or fate, or chance, prevented them from being together and finding the happiness they so rightly deserved.

Jason felt Elizabeth nod off and he soon joined her in her dreams.

Throughout the long night they made love numerous times, giving into years of temptations and pent up feelings.

For if this would be the only night they could be together, they damn well made sure it mattered.

_Let it burn_


	21. Buried Beneath

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

  _"Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 21**

**_Buried Beneath_ **

_Previously on Start Again…_

_There were times in their lives where they were finally in sync to be together. Sometimes it could last for months, and others it could only last for one night._

_Destiny, or fate, or chance, prevented them from being together and finding the happiness they so rightly deserved._

_Jason felt Elizabeth nod off and he soon joined her in her dreams._

_Throughout the long night they made love numerous times, giving into years of temptations and pent up feelings._

_For if this would be the only night they could be together, they damn well made sure it mattered._

“So, what’s the plan Johnny Boy?”

Johnny rolled his eyes as he braced himself against the crate, checking his gun’s chamber.

“I’ve got two bullets left.”

Sonny sighed as he leaned against the crate.

 _My eyes have adjusted to dark and so is my heart  
_ _The weight of the world has covered me_

They had been dodging Gino’s guards all night throughout his mansion, or fortress.

“Well, I’m out.”

“Go steal a gun then.”

Johnny sat down, taking a breather.

He hated this situation more than anything. Being forced to work with Sonny was the ultimate slap in the face.

“Cover me.”

Johnny nodded. There was a loose trust between the two Mob bosses. The only way they were going to survive was to work together. One of them couldn’t get out on their own.

 _I'm in over my head  
_ _Am I living or dead_

Sonny ran from crate to crate, while Johnny shot a guard in the chest. The guard fell to the ground, close to where Sonny was hiding.

Johnny nodded to Sonny, who sprinted to the guard and grabbed his assault rifle. Sonny slid back behind a crate just in time.

Four guards came into the open room after hearing Johnny’s gun go off.

Sonny signaled to Johnny to stay put. Johnny watched as the guards walked past Sonny’s hiding spot. Sonny crept up behind them; hit the one guard in the back of the head and breaking the other guard’s neck.

The two other guards turn around, but not before Sonny can fire two shots into their chests.

Johnny crept out from behind his spot and grabbed two of the guards’ pistols.

“What now? We’ve been at this all night.”

Sonny sighed as he looked over at the younger Mob lord.

“Well, we need to get out.”

“You said Damiano has Carly. We need to find her first.”

Sonny nodded his head.

“Do you have any idea where he would keep her?” 

Johnny rolled his eyes at Sonny.

“What, just because he’s my half-brother, you expect me to know what he thinks or does?”

Johnny spit on the ground and checked his pistol for rounds.

“C’mon Zacchara, let’s keep moving.”

Johnny nodded and followed Sonny out of the warehouse. In front of them was the Soleito Manor.

“We need to get off the grounds and back in there.”

Sonny gave Johnny a dubious look.

“Back in there? Are you crazy?”

“Carly’s in there.”

Sonny reluctantly nodded his head. Gunshots could be heard all around them. They crept around the guards, who had turned on themselves after learning of the Soleito patriarch’s death.

Providing cover for each other up the main steps, Johnny and Sonny quickly make it to the front entrance.

Johnny reaches for the door, but Sonny pulls him back.

“What?”

“Going through the front door?”

Johnny shrugged his shoulders.

“We’ve got nothing else to lose.”

Johnny opened the door, and Sonny was forced to follow him.

It was dark inside. The power had been shut off. They look around to see the main staircase in front of them. To the left was an old fashioned parlor. The porcelain bar gleamed in the moonlight shining through the bay windows.

To the right was the dining room. It was a long table, set to accommodate a large party of guests.

_That’s probably where they eat breakfast._

Johnny could almost imagine his other family sitting there, enjoying their breakfast.

Gino would be sitting at the head of the table, reading the newspaper. His wife would be to the left, attending to the food on the table.

On Gino’s right would be his oldest heir, his son Damiano. Father and son would most likely be discussing the family business. Sitting next to Damiano would be Sofia. She would be talking about some beauty pageant or the next crush she had on a boy. The smallest Soleito, Gemma, would be next to her mother. She would be sitting there, playing with her dolls.

Then, at the opposite side of the table, Johnny would sit with his mother Claudia.

Exiled by his own father, relegated to the other end of the table because he couldn’t stand the sight of his own bastard.

_The perfect little family._

Sonny smacked Johnny on the head, knocking him out of his vision.

Johnny makes his way up the stairs, impatiently waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

Making his way down the familiar hallway, Johnny recognizes the door to his left.

He listens for any sounds beyond the door, but there is only silence. Johnny turns the doorknob and opens the door.

 _Can anyone hear me calling out  
_ _I'm calling out_

Sitting right where he left her was Gemma Soleito.

Sonny gives Johnny a look, who just shrugs his shoulders. Sonny motions to Johnny to talk in the hallway.

 _Finally breaking so where are you now  
_ _It's been such a long time_

“Who is she?”

“Apparently she’s one of my sisters.”

“Derek, you’re back!”

Johnny looks over to see that Gemma look up from her tea party.

“Hey Gemma.”

“How come you came back?”

Johnny looked back at Sonny, who just put his hands up in the air and walked away.

“Well, see your dad wanted me to come get you.”

“Johnny, we can’t take her with us.”

Sonny pulled Johnny back out into the hallway.

“We can’t just leave her here. Her father’s dead, her mother’s God knows where and her sister is off somewhere at a beauty pageant or something. She has nowhere else to go.”

“And that’s for you to decide?”

Johnny crossed his arms, tired of Sonny’s questions.

“Well, since you so proudly outed my paternity, I found out I had a brother and two sisters I didn’t know. Gemma is one of them and I’m not just going to leave her here.”

“We can’t take a child with us. It’s too dangerous.”

“We don’t have any other choice.”

Sonny sighed.

“Fine, but you’re responsible for her.”

Johnny rolled his eyes as he walked into Gemma’s room.

“Who’s that man?”

He squatted down next to Gemma.

“He’s just… a friend.”

Johnny heard Sonny scoff from out in the hallway.

“Gemma, I have something to tell you and it might be hard for you to understand because you’re so young.”

Gemma looked up from her teacup and Johnny swallowed his nerves.

“My name isn’t really Derek.”

“I already figured that out.”

Johnny smiled at Gemma’s perceptiveness.

“My name is Johnny Zacchara, well actually I found out a few months ago that Zacchara wasn’t my last name.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s Soleito.”

Gemma was confused, and Johnny had no idea how to explain it to her. He had never had to deal with kids, and had never imagined having kids when he was older.

“I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t at first either. I found out that my father wasn’t really my father, but my grandfather.”

“Then who is your father?”

“We share the same father.”

Johnny watched as Gemma tried to process the information. He had to give her credit; she was mature beyond her years. She could definitely do some damage when she got older.

“So…”

“So I’m your brother. Well, half-brother.”

Gemma nodded her head.

“Why are you here? Where’s my dad?”

Johnny sighed.

“I don’t have the time right now to explain, but I need you to trust me.”

“Why?”

“Because there are some very bad men out there that want to hurt you.”

“How do I know you don’t want to hurt me?”

Johnny squatted down to Gemma’s eye level, which was barely four feet off the ground.

“I promise I won’t let anyone hurt you, especially me.”

“Pinky swear?”

Gemma held out her little pinky, and Johnny smiled. He shook it with his rather large pinky. 

She smiled up at him and hopped off her seat. She grabbed her closest stuffed animal, which was a purple bunny, and held her hand out towards Johnny.

He was perplexed by her gesture. Johnny wasn’t used to being around children, but he took her hand in his and led her out the door.

“Sonny, this is Gemma. Gemma, this is Sonny.”

Gemma waved to Sonny, who gave her a dimpled smile and waved back.

Johnny led the way with Gemma in his arms while Sonny covered their backs.

They eventually found themselves back in front of the main staircase.

“Gemma, do you know where the basement is?”

Gemma nodded her head and pointed to a door off to the right.

Johnny pulled out his gun and pointed it at the door, with Sonny following suit.

Sonny nodded to Johnny and he quickly pulled open the door.

Johnny handed Gemma off to Sonny and led the way down the dark steps.

He could hear a faint banging and followed his instincts.

They reached the bottom of the stairs to see a metal door in front of them. Johnny put his ear up to the door and heard the distinct banging noise.

Johnny pulled open the door to see Carly tethered to a chair with a gag over her mouth.

 _But I've tried to live without  
_ _I'm suffocating I need you to breathe_

His heart plunged into his stomach as he saw the state Carly was in. It looked like she hadn’t been fed in days. Her skin was pale and taut over her cheekbones.

Her normally bouncy hair was flat and brittle on her scalp.

 _So reach down and pull me up  
_ _Pull me up before I am buried beneath_

It was her eyes that scared Johnny. They were dark and hopeless, something Johnny had never seen before.

He quickly ungagged her and worked at her legs.

“Thank God you found me Johnny.”

Johnny quickly reached up and kissed her. It was something he had been dying to do for months. He finally broke off the kiss when he heard a cough behind him. Carly peered out from behind his shoulder to see Sonny holding a small girl in his arms.

“Who’s that?”

“My little sister.”

Johnny said it so nonchalantly, like he had known Gemma his whole life. Carly sat there stunned, and waited till Johnny untied her hands before she tried to stand up.

 _I built this house on the shore  
_ _All I want was more_

She felt woozy and Johnny caught her in his arms.

“I got you.”

He put her arm around his shoulders and carried most of her weight. Sonny led the way back up the stairs with Johnny and Carly behind him.

Sonny opened the front door to check if the coast was clear. He heard gunshots to his right, but they seemed far off.

Sonny quickly ran through the grounds, occasionally checking behind him to make sure Johnny and Carly were still behind him.

 _But I felt the sand start shifting  
_ _I saw the cracks in the walls_

He was running for the warehouse, where they could regroup and think of an escape plan.

“Sonny!”

He turned around to see Johnny pointing to his right. Sonny turned his head to see ten men rushing at them with guns.

Sonny shielded Gemma with his body and dover behind a bush, right as a stream of bullets flew past his head.

 _I painted over them all_  
_I tried my best to just ignore  
_ _I can't ignore_

He protected Gemma with his body, and looked to the left to see Johnny doing the same with Carly.

They both exchanged looks, knowing exactly what had to be done.

“Alright Gemma, I’m going to need you to crawl over to where Johnny and the nice lady is. Can you do that for me?”

Gemma nodded her head, clutching her purple bunny. 

“Okay, I’m going to count to three, and once I yell go, I want you to crawl as fast as you can, alright?”

“Okay.”

Sonny checked his gun, seeing that he had a few clips left in his jacket.

He nodded over to Johnny, who proceeded to tell Carly what was about to happen.

“Okay, 1…2…3…GO!”

Gemma took off for Carly’s waiting arms while Sonny and Johnny provided covering fire.

Sonny looked over to see Carly fiercely holding Gemma in her arms. Johnny grimly nodded to Sonny. He watched as Johnny said something to Carly, who then started to argue with him.

Johnny shook his head and said something else, which caused Carly to shut up quick. She nodded her head and Johnny gave her one last kiss. Carly pulled away and took off behind them, Gemma firmly grasped in her arms.

Johnny and Sonny provided returning fire, but once Carly and Gemma were in the clear, they were overwhelmed and forced to surrender.

* * *

Elizabeth checked into the nurse’s station for her first shift.

After dropping off Cameron and Aiden at daycare, she proceeded to her first day back at work.

For the past month and a half, she had been on a temporary leave of absence. The whole Sam and Damiano debacle had been dramatizing for the Elizabeth and her boys. Aiden didn’t really understand what was going on, but Elizabeth was more worried about Cameron.

Jason had told her what happened in that room with Damiano.

Elizabeth was proud of how brave Cameron was, but no eight year old should ever be put in that situation. Every night before bed, she would have a talk with Cameron, going over what happened and talking about anything he was feeling. He had nightmares almost every night, screaming in his bed. Elizabeth would rush into his bedroom and hold him until he fell asleep. Usually she just took him back to her bedroom and slept with him there.

If she wanted to be honest, she didn’t mind that Cameron was clinging to her. She had been so terrified that she had lost her two sons, the only things that mattered to her in this life.

The nightmares continued, and Elizabeth wasn’t sure what to do with him except to take him to a therapist.

Jason offered to talk to him one night, and Elizabeth took up his offer. Cameron woke up once that night, but calmed down quickly after. It helped that Jason talked to him, and he was steadily improving each day.

Elizabeth looked down at the patient’s chart in front of her. It was going to be a long day, all she could think about were Cameron and Aiden.

Her headache had been constantly throbbing all day, but she ignored the pain. She had headaches almost every day, but she chalked it up to being stressed out and exhausted from sleepless nights.

Lunch break finally came around, but she chose to spend it checking in on Cameron and Aiden.

She spent thirty minutes with her boys, and then was forced to go back upstairs for her second shift.

* * *

Jason walked into the penthouse, checking his phone for any voicemails that Sonny would happen to leave him.

He hadn’t heard back from his best friend in over a month. Jason was beyond worried that something bad had happened.

Sonny hadn’t left a message as to where he had gone.

To be honest, Jason hadn’t noticed at first of his friend’s absence. He had been so worried about Elizabeth, Cameron and Aiden. After they spent the night at the safe house, Jason had helped Elizabeth and her boys move back into her house.

He put extra security on their house, and went by every day to make sure they were okay.

Jason secretly had wished that they could have stayed in the safe house. It had better security than Elizabeth’s house, and Jason would feel better knowing where they were and that they were safe.

He could remember the morning after. It was imprinted into his mind, and he was sure he would never be able to get it out.

_Jason’s eyes flew open and he resisted the urge to sit up in bed because of the petite brunette currently sleeping on his chest._

_Finally breaking so where are you now  
_ _It's been such a long time_

_He looked down to see Elizabeth peacefully sleeping. He kissed the top of her head and watched her for a few minutes._

_But I've tried to live without  
_ _I'm suffocating I need you to breathe_

_Jason felt oddly refreshed, even thought they had gotten little sleep. They spent most of the night making up for lost time._

_“Are you watching me sleep?”_

_He was greeted with her sapphire orbs._

_“Do you mind?”_

_She smirked as she kissed him._

_“No.”_

_“Are you okay?”_

_He looked down into her eyes to see the truth._

_“No regrets, remember?”_

_He smiled at her response. Jason was glad that they both had a mutual understanding._

_Jason rolled them over so he was on top._

_“So you don’t mind if I do this?”_

_He nibbled on her ear, eliciting a giggle from her lips._

_“Or this?”_

_Jason ran his hand down her body, feeling the goose bumps that he caused._

_His hand rested on her hip, and he felt her leg curl around his waist._

_“Anxious, are we?”_

_Elizabeth rolled her eyes as her hands ran up his chest. He growled in anticipation._

_“Anxious, are we?”_

_He smiled as she used his words against him._

_“That’s not fair.”_

_Her fingers traced circles on his chest, forcing him to close his eyes in pleasure. He opened them to stare deep into her eyes, staring right into her soul and spoke his mind._

_"Don't you wish it could always be like this? No guns, no killing, no explosions, just… this."_

_“You have no idea.”_

_She pulled his head down to hers; she needed to feel his lips on hers._

_After fooling around in bed for almost an hour, they revisited the shower together, and then proceeded to get dressed and wake up the boys._

_It was the closest Jason had ever been to having a normal day in a household._

Jason’s mind wandered from the memory. He still had a few hours until Elizabeth got off her shift, and he knew that if he stayed in that memory much longer, he would get her in trouble by making her leave early.

His phone beeped as he received an email.

Jason sighed as he read the message.

_My supervisor wasn’t happy that I let you go. You owe me one Morgan, and this is the only freebie that you get. I’ll be watching your actions very closely. You’ve been warned._

_J.C.  
_ _FBI Agent_

The next email he read surprise him even more.

 _I know when I left; Sonny and I weren’t on the best of terms. I don’t even know why I sent this email, or even wrote it in the first place. I heard about Kate, and I’ve been meaning to call Sonny about it. I also heard what happened with that one guy, Soleito, and that you rescued Elizabeth Webber. A little birdy told me that you have feelings for the nurse. If you even read this, I hope you’re paying attention to what I type next._ _Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever. You know what happened with Sonny, and I never want that for you. No one can promise that they will never hurt you, because at one time or another they will, the real promise is, if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end. Please, Jason, don’t give up on love. Never give up._

 _Love Always,  
_ _Brenda Barrett (almost Jacks)_

Jason shook his head at Brenda’s email. He had no idea how she had found out about him and Elizabeth, and he didn’t want to know.

The last email was the one that shocked him the most.

_To Stone Cold – URGENT_

Jason almost dropped his phone when he read who sent the email.

He turned on his laptop and opened the email.

_If you are reading this Stone Cold, then I was discovered by the evildoers and put to a untimely death. I discovered the evil Doctor’s alter ego, and as I’m typing this message, I discovered an even more disturbing secret. It appears to be that Franco had left one last surprise in his bag of tricks. And of course, it has to do with you, Stone Cold. It seems that your evil twin had one last dying wish to give to you, and one that you have least expected._

Jason couldn’t believe what the next sentence read.

* * *

The afternoon breezed by, and Elizabeth had reached her final patient of the day.

After checking on Mr. Harrison’s vitals, Elizabeth placed his chart in the bin and went to sign off on his prescription.

She had been ignoring her stomach’s growls all day, and was tempted to stop at the cafeteria for a snack.

A food cart passed by, and Elizabeth smelled fish on one of the trays. The distinct scent was so overpowering, that it overloaded her senses and made her stomachs do flips. Being on an empty stomach, she felt nauseous and rushed to the nearest women’s restroom. Washing her mouth out, she headed out of the restroom and back to the nurse’s station.

Dismissing her sickness as being hungry, she went to punch out at the nurse’s desk.

“Elizabeth.”

 _So reach down and pull me up  
_ _Pull me up before I am buried beneath_

God, how she loved how he said her name.

Elizabeth turned around to see Jason leaning against the nurse’s station.

 _I thought I was climbing out  
_ _But it's dragging me down_

Wearing his trademark black t-shirt and jeans, she saw that he had a relaxed look on his face. His eyes were twinkling and he looked refreshed.

“Jason, hey.”

“Is your shift almost over?”

The twinkle in his eyes caused her to smirk.

“Yes, why?”

“I was wondering if I could take you and the boys out to dinner?”

Elizabeth smiled at his generosity. She tried not to let him see how excited she was about his offer.

“I would love to. Just let me punch out and we can go pick up the boys downstairs.”

Jason nodded and waited for her by the elevators. She could feel his eyes on her as she moved around the nurse’s hub. Every so often she would look up and see him intently staring at her.

Every time she caught him looking at her, he would smirk, but he didn’t look away. Not once.

She blushed every time she caught him looking, feeling like a little high school girl with her first crush.

 _What's hidden here with me  
_ _Thought I was alone_

Filling out the last patient’s chart, Elizabeth took out her card and punched it. She walked out of the nurse’s hub and headed for the elevators.

She saw Jason smiling at her approach, but her vision flickered as she moved closer to him.

 _But it pulls me deeper now  
_ _I can't escape_

Jason’s smile turned to a look of despair as he ran towards her. He gathered in his arms as she fainted, screaming for help.

* * *

Waking up minutes later, her headache was back as strong as ever, and she felt a sudden exhaustion that she hadn’t felt earlier that day.

“Elizabeth.”

The panic was evident as his voice was laced with concern.

“What…what happened?”

“You fainted.”

She looked around to see that she was in a hospital bed with Jason sitting beside her.

“How long was I out?”

“Only a few minutes.”

“Okay, can we go now?”

“Not yet.”

Elizabeth looked up to see the doctor enter.

 _Finally breaking so where are you now  
_ _It's been such a long time_

“Mr. Morgan informed me that you have undergone a traumatic experience and have been through a tremendous amount of stress. I wanted to run some tests, just to make sure everything was okay.”

“Doctor, I’m fine. I haven’t experienced any physical pain or discomfort. I’m perfectly healthy.”

“I’m afraid that’s not the case.”

Elizabeth was puzzled, and she looked over at Jason, who just shrugged his shoulders.

“I checked your blood work three times and found an anomaly each time.”

Jason was anxious at hearing the news, and immediately went into protector mode.

“She’s going to be fine, right? It’s nothing serious?”

“I thought I would bring in someone else to break the news.”

The doctor nodded to Jason and Elizabeth and left the room. Jason took Elizabeth’s hand in his, lending her any strength she needed.

“Elizabeth, you’re going to be fine. I’m going to do anything it takes to make sure you’re alright. I’ll get the best doctors in the world-”

“Mr. Morgan, I’m afraid that won’t be necessary.”

Elizabeth tore her attention away from Jason to see that Dr. Kelly Lee had walked into the room.

“Kelly, what are you doing here?”

Elizabeth got a sick feeling in her stomach as to why Kelly was in here.

_This isn’t happening._

“I’m your new doctor.”

“Why?”

“I believe congratulation are in order.”

Jason looked at Elizabeth, who had no idea what Kelly was talking about.

“What do you mean, congratulations?”

 _But I've tried to live without  
_ _I'm suffocating I need you to breathe_

“What I mean is that congratulations are in order for second-time parents.”

Elizabeth’s breath caught in her throat as Jason sat back in his chair, stunned into silence.

 _So reach down and pull me up  
_ _Pull me up before I am buried beneath_

“Congratulations, Elizabeth, you’re pregnant.”

_Here we go again._


	22. Pieces

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

  _"Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 22**

**_Pieces_ **

_Previously on Start Again…_

_“Elizabeth.”_

_The panic was evident as his voice was laced with concern._

_“What…what happened?”_

_“You fainted.”_

_She looked around to see that she was in a hospital bed with Jason sitting beside her._

_“How long was I out?”_

_“Only a few minutes.”_

_“Okay, can we go now?”_

_“Not yet.”_

_Elizabeth looked up to see the doctor enter._

_“Mr. Morgan informed me that you have undergone a traumatic experience and have been through a tremendous amount of stress. I wanted to run some tests, just to make sure everything was okay.”_

_“Doctor, I’m fine. I haven’t experienced any physical pain or discomfort. I’m perfectly healthy.”_

_“I’m afraid that’s not the case.”_

_Elizabeth was puzzled, and she looked over at Jason, who just shrugged his shoulders._

_“I checked your blood work three times and found an anomaly each time.”_

_Jason was anxious at hearing the news, and immediately went into protector mode._

_“She’s going to be fine, right? It’s nothing serious?”_

_“I thought I would bring in someone else to break the news.”_

_The doctor nodded to Jason and Elizabeth and left the room. Jason took Elizabeth’s hand in his, lending her any strength she needed._

_“Elizabeth, you’re going to be fine. I’m going to do anything it takes to make sure you’re alright. I’ll get the best doctors in the world-”_

_“Mr. Morgan, I’m afraid that won’t be necessary.”_

_Elizabeth tore her attention away from Jason to see that Dr. Kelly Lee had walked into the room._

_“Kelly, what are you doing here?”_

_Elizabeth got a sick feeling in her stomach as to why Kelly was in here._

_This isn’t happening._

_“I’m your new doctor.”_

_“Why?”_

_“I believe congratulation are in order.”_

_Jason looked at Elizabeth, who had no idea what Kelly was talking about._

_“What do you mean, congratulations?”_

_“What I mean is that congratulations are in order for second-time parents.”_

_Elizabeth’s breath caught in her throat as Jason sat back in his chair, stunned into silence._

_“Congratulations, Elizabeth, you’re pregnant.”_

_Here we go again._

“Jason, please say something.”

 _I'm here again  
_ _A thousand miles away from you_

Jason had been pacing for over an hour in the penthouse, but Elizabeth had watched him silently.

 _A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
_ _I tried so hard_

After being discharged from the hospital, Elizabeth had suggested they talk back at his penthouse. The thing that scared her the most was that since Kelly told them Elizabeth was pregnant, Jason hadn’t said a word.

He finally sat down next to her, but still, he said nothing.

“Elizabeth.”

 _Thought I could do this on my own  
_ _I've lost so much along the way_

Jason reached out and touched her hand. She looked up into his eyes. He couldn’t tell what her reaction was.

 _Then I see your face  
_ _I know I'm finally yours_

“Are you okay?”

“That’s the first thing you always ask.”

Jason smiled and continued to hold her hand.

 _I find everything I thought I lost before  
_ _You call my name_

“You haven’t said anything since we left the hospital.”

Jason sighed and leaned back against the couch.

“You know I always had trouble with words.”

Elizabeth smiled, knowing that he was right.

“We need to talk about this.”

Jason looked up from his hands.

 _I come to you in pieces  
_ _So you can make me whole_

“Elizabeth, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? You saved my life…again. I was so terrified when Damiano kidnapped me, but I trusted you. I always have, ever since that moment you rescued me that night at Jake’s. There’s been this pull between us, and I can’t explain it. And I don’t want to ignore it. When I look at you, I don’t not only see Jake’s father or Emily’s brother, I see my friend. There have been so many missed chances…I don’t want to miss another one.”

She went all in and held nothing back. He claimed her lips, and started a slow and tender kiss, but she wanted more.

Their kiss soon grew heated, and Jason knew there was more to be said. He pulled back to look into her eyes.

 _I've come undone_  
_But you make sense of who I am  
_ _Like puzzle pieces in your hand,_

He could see the disappointment in them.

“Its not fair to start this whole thing again…and remember how we feel about each other when it can’t go anywhere.”

Elizabeth moved away from him, as if he had burned her.

“How do you know this won’t work? We’re free. We’re finally free at the same time to figure out what’s going on between us. Isn’t that what you want?”

 _Then I see your face  
_ _I know I'm finally yours_

“My life is still dangerous. I’m the reason Cam almost died.”

Elizabeth stood up, enraged with his answer.

“You saved my sons that night. Don’t you dare say it’s too dangerous.”

Jason move closer to her, taking her hands in his.

“I can’t be with you.”

He was breaking her heart. This isn’t what he wanted. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, always have and always will. He wants to be there for their child, and not make the same mistake that they made with Jake.

“Can’t and won’t are two very different things, and right now you’re making a choice.”

Jason sighed. Sometimes love wasn’t enough. Elizabeth and their children would never be safe in his life. Even though he quit the business, there were still old enemies looking for him, and they would never stop.

“You’re right. I’m choosing not to hurt you.”

A tear slid down her cheek.

“And you don’t think this hurts?”

“I know it does. I can see what it’s doing to you and I hate it…you mean so much to me.”

Another tear slid down her cheek.

“Just not the way I was hoping.”

Jason shook his head.

“We had a son that I could never claim when he was alive.”

This was still a sore subject between the two of them. It was a mistake cutting Jason out of Jake’s life.

“But we decided that together!”

“I know. We both wanted to keep him safe. And to go back on that now, to expose the kids to the violence, it makes it all for nothing. I was never a father to Jake…I was never an anything to him. But I can honor him by protecting his mother and brothers.”

“Protecting us from you?”

Jason nodded his head.

“What if you’re wrong Jason? What if the lesson we’re supposed to learn is that we keep coming back into each other’s lives for a reason?”

She let go of his hands, and he walked away from her. Facing the fireplace, he couldn’t stand to see the heartbreak in her eyes.

“Elizabeth, I want this to work more than anything in the world.”

“But?”

“But I can’t keep you safe. Look what happened with Damiano.”

Elizabeth didn’t have a retort. He was right. Damiano kidnapped them without a thought.

“I want a family with you Elizabeth…it’s all I ever wanted.”

At first, she thought her ears were playing tricks on her. His voice was so low and soft; she barely caught what he said.

 _I find everything I thought I lost before  
_ _You call my name_

Elizabeth walked behind him and touched his arm. He turned around to face her. Jason’s face was soft and his walls were breaking down in front of her.

 _I come to you in pieces  
_ _So you can make me whole!_

There was only one other time that Jason had ever been this vulnerable. It had been the night of the blackout, the night Jake was conceived.

“Then prove it.”

Elizabeth moved closer to him.

“Elizabeth, I need you to forgive me.”

She was startled by his request.

“For what?”

“For Jake." 

It finally hit her how guilty he felt for Jake’s death. She could see it in his eyes. He had always managed to hide it so well, but now, it seemed like he was giving up.

 _I tried so hard! So hard!  
_ _I tried so hard!_

“I never should have walked away. I should have fought for him…and you.”

Elizabeth sighed.

“But instead you got back together with Sam, and I got back together with Lucky.”

Jason nodded.

“Jason, how could love her? How could you ever love a woman who watched your son be kidnapped, or hire men with guns to terrorize the mother of your child and his brother in the park?”

 _Then I see your face  
_ _I know I'm finally yours_

“I know being drugged isn’t an excuse.”

“It’s not.”

Jason reached for her hands. She let him hold them.

“I know being with Sam…wasn’t right. I know how much she had hurt you and Jake.”

“Then how could you marry her?”

“Because I deserved her.”

 _I find everything I thought I lost before  
_ _You call my name_

Elizabeth didn’t quite understand. His eyes were cast down to the ground. She released his hands and cupped his face in her hands.

“How could you think you deserved her?”

“Because of my life and choices. I’ve done a lot of wrong things in my life. I never deserved a loving family. I don’t deserve to love anyone.”

A tear slid down his cheek.

Finally, Elizabeth understood after all these years.

“I was never good enough to deserve you Elizabeth. You’re so much better than me, so much than I deserve.”

She shook her head.

“I forgive you.”

He looked at her in surprise.

“I forgive you Jason. Now, you need to let go of your pain.”

Jason shook his head and walked out of her arms, but she pulled him back. 

“It’s not your fault.”

She pulled him into a hug, and he buried his head into the crook of her shoulder.

They stood in each other’s arms for what seemed like forever.

Jason finally pulled back, but Elizabeth kept her arms around his neck.

He removed one of his hands from her waist and placed it on her stomach.

"I wish I had gone away with you a long time ago, hopped on your bike and never looked back."

Elizabeth smiled once he looked back up at her.

"What do you want?"

"I want you."

She reached up a placed a tender kiss on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her.

Elizabeth finally pulled away to look into his eyes. A weight had been lifted from them, and he couldn’t stop smiling.

“I want to be a part of our child’s life.”

Elizabeth felt her heart flutter when he said _our_ _child._

“I don’t want to make the same mistake we made with Jake. I never should have walked away.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath and swallowed any nerves she had left.

“I…I want to share a life with you. If you still want to share a life with me."

Jason looked dumbfounded.

"If I still want-that is all…that is all I want. I want a life with you. And I want a family with you."

 _I come to you in pieces  
_ _So you can make me whole_

She giggled as he picked up her and twirled her around. He set her back on her feet and gave her kiss. They pulled away both to look down at her stomach. He placed his hand on the flat of her abdomen, while she placed her hand over this.

“I want this child more than anything.”

Jason pulled a stray lock of her hair behind her ear, and bent down to kiss her once again, only to be interrupted by his door being opened.

“Jason!”

Jason spun around to see Carly in his doorway with a little girl in her arms that wasn’t Josslyn.

“Carly, what’s wrong?”

Carly walked into his penthouse and closed the door.

“Carly?”

“Jason, it’s Sonny.”

Jason looked at her confusion. He felt Elizabeth slip her hand into his for comfort.

“Carly, what happened?”

Carly sat Gemma on the couch and turned back to Jason and Elizabeth.

“Sonny and Johnny were taken hostage.”

“By who?”

“The Soleito’s.”

Jason let go of Elizabeth’s hand and went to his closet. He pulled down his gun and made sure it was loaded.

“Where are they?”

“Jason, you can’t go alone.”

“Like hell I can.”

“They’re in Miami. They were looking for Gino. Johnny killed him. And Damiano kidnapped me. Johnny and Sonny found me. They let Gemma and I escape, and they had to surrender.” 

“Okay, take Gemma upstairs and stay here.”

“Jase, make sure they’re okay.”

Jason nodded and watched as Carly took Gemma upstairs. He turned to look at Elizabeth.

“Elizabeth, I need you to get the boys and bring them back here. Stay here until I get back.”

“Jason-”

He walked over to her and held her face in his hands.

“Please, Elizabeth, do this for me. I finally got you back. I’m not going to let anything happen to you or our baby.”

He laid a gentle kiss on her lips.

“I’m coming back to you. I promise.”

Elizabeth nodded her head. Jason reluctantly let go and grabbed his gun. He opened the door and looked back one last time.

“I’ll see you later.”

_So you can make me whole_


	23. Start Again

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

_"Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 23**

**_Start Again_ **

_Previously on Start Again…_

_Jason nodded and watched as Carly took Gemma upstairs. He turned to look at Elizabeth._

_“Elizabeth, I need you to get the boys and bring them back here. Stay here until I get back.”_

_“Jason-”_

_He walked over to her and held her face in his hands._

_“Please, Elizabeth, do this for me. I finally got you back. I’m not going to let anything happen to you or our baby.”_

_He laid a gentle kiss on her lips._

_“I’m coming back to you. I promise.”_

_Elizabeth nodded her head. Jason reluctantly let go and grabbed his gun. He opened the door and looked back one last time._

_“I’ll see you later.”_

Dante kicks the door down. They had been stuck in that godforsaken room for months.

He helps Lulu out and follows the light at the end of the hallway.

There no noise, and they reach a flight of stairs.

“I guess we go up.”

Lulu nods and Dante leads the way. They get to the top of the steps, and can see moonlight shining through the windows.

“Do you think it’s safe?”

“Well, we haven’t heard anyone so far. I wasn’t going to sit in that room for another minute.”

Dante moves to what seems the front door and opens it. They were in what seems like a compound. A ten-foot concrete wall surrounded their building. The iron wrought gate was open in front of them.

It was humid, and they both were starting to sweat. Dante led Lulu out to the gate and looked for anyone.

“Dante, there’s no one here.”

“I know, but I can’t shake this feeling in the back of my head. This was all too easy.”

Lulu gripped Dante’s hand tighter as they ventured further out into the dark.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up. He heard the noise before it happened. He pulled Lulu back against the wall, trying to pinpoint where the gunshot came from.

“Dante, what the hell are you doing?”

There was no one around; the gun hadn’t been aimed at them. Then, the gun went off again. It was about a mile away.

“C’mon, we need to get out of here.”

* * *

Jason taps his hands on his knees, waiting for the plane to touch down.

Carly bursting in couldn’t have happened at a worse time.

He was just about to tell Elizabeth how much he wanted this baby, how he wanted to try again, and this time not walking away. He will admit it, he was scared at first when they found out Elizabeth was pregnant.

Jason didn’t want it to end up like Jake where he abandons his child to keep them safe from his life, only for them to die from an accident.

“Mr. Morgan, we’ve just touched down in Miami.”

Jason nods his head as one of his men walks away. The plane comes to a stop and Jason gets off the plane.

It was eleven at night, the moon was shining and it was humid. Jason shrugged out of his leather jacket and checked his gun before he turns to address the thirty men behind him. 

“All right, the plan is to find Sonny and Johnny, and get them out alive.”

* * *

Elizabeth put Cameron down for bed in one of the guestrooms upstairs. Aiden was in a crib next to him.

She turns the light out and closes the door.

Elizabeth walks back downstairs to see Carly getting out a bottle of tequila.

“Tequila?”

“I’ve got to do something to get my mind off of what’s about to happen.”

Elizabeth nodded, knowing what she meant. Carly turned back around, and Elizabeth rubbed her stomach. Even though she wasn’t showing yet, she could already feel her baby inside of her.

 _And I remember everything,  
_ _Everything I loved,_

God, she had been so mad when Jason wanted to walk away. It was like Jake all over again. But this time she pushed. She didn’t back down and she didn’t take no for an answer.

She finally realized how guilty Jason felt for Jake’s death.

 _I gave it away like it wasn't enough_  
_All the words I said and all you forgive  
_ _How could I hurt you again?_

It was in that moment that he finally understood that they were safer together than apart.

Elizabeth watched as Carly poured herself a glass, and offered the bottle to Elizabeth. She shook her head, and Carly just shrugged her shoulders.

“What happened?”

Carly moved over to the chair, while Elizabeth settled into the couch. Carly waits a minute before answering Elizabeth’s question.

“I was kidnapped by a psycho. Had to watch one of Sonny’s squeezes get her throat slit. Finally got out, only for Johnny to give me his kid sister. Then was kidnapped yet again. Got myself out of that one though.”

Elizabeth smirked as Carly downed the entire glass and poured herself another.

“Okay, you win.”

Carly chuckled as she sat back in the armchair, watching Elizabeth intently.

“What were you and Jason talking about?”

Elizabeth looked down at her stomach, then back up at Carly. Carly caught her subtle movement, but didn’t push. Not yet.

“Now, I know we’ve haven’t gotten along ever since we met.”

“You could say that again.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes as Carly put down her glass.

“And I know where you stand in Jason’s life. I get it. You’re Jason’s best friend, and no other woman will come between the two of you.”

“Elizabeth, I-”

“No, I understand. You hate me.”

“Elizabeth, I don’t hate you.”

Elizabeth looked at Carly in surprise.

“Don’t give me that look, muffin face. No matter how much I display it, I don’t hate you. The only thing I hate is that I’m afraid that I will lose Jason to you. Because I know that he will place you first before everyone, including me.”

Elizabeth sat in silence at Carly’s confession.

“What about Sam?”

“What about her?”

“How come you never treated her like you treated me?”

Carly sighed.

“Because I knew that I could control her. I knew that I would still remain the number one woman in Jason’s life as long as he was with Sam. I tolerated her because she was with Jason, but the truth is, I despised that woman even more than you.”

Carly pours herself her third glass of tequila.

“Are you sure you don’t want any?”

Elizabeth shook her head.

“Alright, now that I’ve played twenty questions, it’s your turn.”

“I guess that’s only fair.”

“Why did you take Lucky back after he cheated on you with Maxie? And I even warned you about them. How could you go back to an abusive addict? Not to mention you were pregnant and had a small child.”

Elizabeth sat in silence. No one had ever really asked her this question.

“Everyone kept telling me that Lucky was a good man. That he’d get over this-”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Fine, I went back to Lucky because I thought he was the safe choice.”

“Choice between who?”

“Lucky and Jason.”

Carly almost spewed her tequila all over herself.

“Since when was Jason an option back then?”

“Since he proposed to me that October.”

Carly’s mouth hung open in shock.

“He proposed to you, not knowing if you were carrying his child?”

Elizabeth nodded her head.

“How in the hell did you say no?”

Elizabeth smiled at first.

“I told him that marriage was based on trust and commitment. Of course, I trust Jason, but we were in love with other people. It wouldn’t be fair to the child if he grew up with two resentful and regretful parents.”

“So Lucky was your safe choice, even though he was an addict.”

“He went to rehab and got better.”

“Still Elizabeth, there was always that chance that he would relapse.”

“I know that. And it was hard at first, trusting him again. I was constantly afraid that he would snap and hurt me, or even worse, Cameron and the baby.”

“I just can’t get over the fact that you chose Lucky over Jason.”

“You make it sound like it was easy.”

“I know it wasn’t.”

Carly sat her glass down, watching Elizabeth rub her stomach.

“Are you hungry?”

Elizabeth looked over at Carly, not fully realizing what she was doing.

“No, why?”

“No reason.”

* * *

Dante leads Lulu down the alley, hoping that they were going in the right direction. Gunshots were still going off, and Dante prayed that they wouldn’t come any closer. Suddenly, the noises stopped as they reached the end of the alley. Dante looks around; checking to make sure it was safe.

They were still stuck in the industrial park, surrounded by warehouses.

It was quiet, until a loud explosion went off in the warehouse in front of them. Dante shielded Lulu from the blast, and watched as men started running out of the building. Dante pulled Lulu back into the alley, hoping that they weren’t spotted. He watched as the men ran around, but one in particular caught his attention.

“Sonny?”

Dante squinted, and he could barely make out his father’s face. He was limping, and holding a hand to his chest. A man comes up behind him, and at first Dante thinks he’s going to attack him, but he helps Sonny.

“Is that Johnny?”

Lulu runs out of the alleyway and towards the two men, despite Dante’s protests.

“Lulu, wait!”

Lulu ignores Dante’s pleas and runs over to Johnny and Sonny, who collapses.

“Johnny…how are you here…what happened?”

Johnny and Lulu help Sonny sit up. Dante rushes over and sees the fatal wound in Sonny’s chest.

“Dante…what are you…what are you doing here?”

Dante kneels beside his father.

“Lulu and I were trapped inside a room for months. It was Ewen Keenan.”

Sonny nodded his head.

“I know…Johnny Boy here…he killed his father.”

Dante looked up at Johnny, who just shrugged his shoulders.

“How are you here?”

“Gino Soleito…payback…”

“Lulu, have you seen Carly?”

Lulu shook her head. Johnny’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Why, what happened?”

“We created a distraction for her to get away. We’ve been trapped here for a month, until just now. While the guards were distracted, I loosened the gas tank next to me. I told one of the guards it smelled funny, and he immediately knew what it was. He ordered everyone out of the warehouse. Sonny here asked for a cigarette before we left, and one of the men stupidly gave it to him. I knocked the lighter out of his hands, and threw it back into the warehouse. That’s the explosion you saw.”

Dante stared in disbelief as Sonny tried to stand with a bullet lodged in his ribcage.

“Dante…I’m alright. We need to get out of here.”

Dante nodded his head. Slinging Sonny’s arm around his shoulders, Dante takes most of his weight off of him. Johnny does the same on the other side, while Lulu stays in front of them. Most of the men were gone, but they could hear more gunshots in the distance.

“Why are they shooting at each other?”

They rounded a corner, only for the firefight to be on the other side. Dante reaches out and pulls Lulu out of harm’s way, but not before she’s noticed. A man comes running around the corner, gun aimed at Dante’s back.

“Lulu, you can’t just do that-”

“DANTE!”

Dante whirls around just as he’s pushed out of the way. He hears a loud crash to the right of him. Sonny is lying on the ground, blood coming out of his neck. Dante looks up at his would-be killer to see him aim his gun again.

He froze; there was nowhere he could go. He heard Lulu screaming, but time froze in that one second. Dante looked into his killer’s eyes and watched as he pulled the trigger. The bullet seemed to move in slow motion, and finally connected with his forehead.

He was dead before he hit the ground.

Johnny pulled out his gun and killed the man before he could take another life. Lulu screamed in agony as she held her dead husband in her arms. Johnny tried to pull away and get her someplace safe, but she lunged at him with such rage.

Sonny tried to sit up, but he was fading fast. He watched as his daughter-in-law held his son in her arms, crying for him to come back. The pain of failing his child ripped Sonny in half. The agony took over, and he just wanted his life to end. He didn’t deserve another minute on this earth because he couldn’t protect his son. He heard shouting around him, but none of it was familiar voices.

Suddenly, Johnny’s face was hovering over his.

“C’mon Sonny, I need you to breathe, you bastard. You’re not going to die unless I’m the one that kills you.”

Sonny chuckled as he felt the blood starting to seep into his throat.

“Johnny…Johnny Boy…”

Sonny reached out for Johnny’s wrist, and grasped it as tightly as he could. He made the young ex-mobster look him in the eyes, to see the life ebb away.

“Promise me…Promise me you’ll look after them…”

Johnny steeled his nerves and nodded his head. He didn’t need more words to know what Sonny was trying to say. Sonny wanted to close his eyes. He was welcoming death and embracing it with open arms.

Just when all hope was lost, Sonny heard his voice.

“Johnny, what the fuck happened? Where’s Sonny?”

Sonny heard Jason’s frantic tone.

“There’s nothing you can do Jason. He’s dead.”

Sonny opens his eyes to see Jason holding him in his arms.

“You’re not going to die on me. Not now.”

“Jase…”

Jason resisted the lump in his throat.

“You’re going to live. You’re going to make it out of here alive. You’re going to live and grow old, watching Michael and Morgan grow up.”

Sonny smiled at Jason’s odd optimistic attitude.

The pain was becoming unbearable.

“C’mon Sonny, don’t die on me now. You’re supposed to be an uncle.”

Jason saw the flicker of surprise in Sonny’s eyes.

“You’re…you’re…”

“Elizabeth’s pregnant.”

Sonny managed to flash the last of his dimples.

“Congratulations.”

Jason nodded his head.

“Don’t let her…don’t let her go Jason…Hold onto her tight…”

Jason wiped away the tears forming in his eyes.

“I’m not going to let her go. Not again.”

Sonny saw the truth and love in Jason’s eyes.

“Good…because if you do…I’ll make sure I come back and haunt your ass.”

Jason chuckled, while Sonny cracked another smile.

“Look after-”

“You know I will.”

Jason watched as Sonny struggled to breathe, the blood now seeping into his lungs. It was a slow and painful death, but Sonny Corinthos wouldn’t have it any other way. He never thought he would die as an old and decrepit man. He knew that his fate lied at the end of a barrel of a gun.

“There’s one last thing I need to ask you.”

Sonny slightly nodded his head.

“Spinelli sent me an email, after he was dead. He said that you hold the key to my happiness.”

Sonny’s eyes darkened and he motioned towards his jacket pocket. Jason reached inside and pulled out a slip of paper.

“That’s…the reason…I’ve been distancing…myself. I’m…I’m so sorry Jason.”

Jason tore his eyes away from the paper to see Sonny draw his last breath.

That bastard even had a damn smile on his face. Jason closed Sonny’s eyes and laid his body back down on the ground. Standing up, he wiped away the tears and unfolded the piece of paper.

It was a clue, that much he could tell, but he had no idea how to solve it. The next three words stopped Jason’s heart.

_Jake is alive._

_This can’t be possible. I saw him…I saw him die on that operating table._

Jason looked around to see Johnny holding a hysterical Lulu. He started to walk away from the scene, his feelings becoming too overwhelming.

* * *

Carly gets off the elevator, frantic with worry.

It seems the all of the residents of Port Charles are in General Hospital’s waiting room. Michael and Starr were sitting in the plush chairs, along with Kristina and Molly. Monica and Tracy could be seen in bickering about some stupid family problem. Mac, Anna, John and Alexis were standing near the stairs, talking in hushed tones. Epiphany was in the nursing station, shaking her head as she heard the hysterical screams of Lulu Spencer.

Carly stopped at the sound of the pain in Lulu’s voice as she screamed for her husband. She saw Johnny step out from the shadows and she walked over to him. He opened his arms and hugged her tightly.

“What the hell happened? Why is Lulu screaming like that?”

Johnny pulled away to look Carly in the eyes.

“Dante’s dead.”

* * *

Jason was in one of the private rooms, thinking about what had just happened. They had flown back on his jet, Lulu had to be heavily sedated just to calm her down, and Johnny had helped immensely.

Sonny and Dante were taken into General Hospital, but they were pronounced dead shortly after. The echoes of Lulu’s screams could be heard, and Jason wondered if that would be Elizabeth if he had died.

He could hear Carly shouting, demanding to know what was going on. He knew that he had to be the one to tell her about Sonny. Jason opened the door, and walked out into the hallway.

He passed the elevators and saw Carly trying to console Lulu, as half of Port Charles watched. Jason went to move towards them when he heard the elevator ding and felt her presence.

 _What if I let you in?  
_ _What if I make it right it?_

He turned around to see her looking around. She stopped when she saw him and immediately ran to him.

 _What if I give it up?  
_ _What if I want to try?_

Jason held her tightly, and didn’t notice the tears until they started falling down his cheeks. Elizabeth held Jason, and could feel him shaking with agony and loss. She soothingly ran her hands down his back, trying to calm him down.

It was then that he surprised her for the first time in her life.

He pulled back from their embrace, only to capture her lips in the most passionate kiss she had ever experienced.

 _What if you take a chance?_  
_What if I learn to love?  
_ _What if, what if we start again?_

Jason was never one to show public displays of affection, but he let everyone see how important Elizabeth was to him, and how much he loved her. He could distantly hear everyone’s gasps as they watched the forbidden lovers embrace in the hallway of General Hospital.

 _All this time  
_ _I can make it right_

Jason pulled away to see the utter shock on Elizabeth’s face. He looked around, to see a similar look on the residents of Port Charles. His cheeks turned red, and Elizabeth pulled him back into the private room he had just exited.

“What was that?”

Elizabeth smirked, knowing that Jason didn’t like public displays of affection.

“I’m not…I just…”

It was refreshing to see Jason nervous, but she knew deep down that he was in pain.

 _With one more try  
_ _Can we start again?_

Elizabeth drew him into another hug.

“I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved him.”

Jason nodded his head as he pulled away, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her close.

“How are you? Where are the boys?”

Elizabeth smiled. Even when everything else was falling apart, he always made sure she and her boys were all right.

“They’re downstairs in the daycare area.”

“You didn’t answer my other question.”

He withdrew one of his hands and placed it on her stomach.

“The baby and I are fine.”

“That’s all I needed to hear.”

He drew her into another long and passionate kiss. Now that everyone saw them together, it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He didn’t have to resist touching her, or kissing her, or holding her.

Elizabeth broke off the kiss, needing to breathe. Their foreheads were stilling touching, as both were gasping for air.

“Wow, um…I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to that.”

“Me neither.”

She placed one of her hands on his chest, feeling his heart race.

“Do you ever wonder if we make moments in our lives, or if the moments in our lives make us?”

Jason looked down at her, contemplating her question.

“I like to think that we have decisions in our lives, choices that we make that we have to live with, and those are what define us. Why?”

“I think we just made a moment.”

“You’re so cheesy.”

Elizabeth giggled as he pulled her in for another kiss. He moved her to a couch, as they sat down together. He held her in his arms, reveling in the moment. Elizabeth entwined their fingers and held them to her stomach as she snuggled into his chest.

“How did we get to this?”

"It doesn't matter… why it started. We have to decide what to do with it."

Elizabeth moved to look Jason in the eyes.

“And what are we going to do with it?”

He didn’t respond at first, which worried Elizabeth. She knew what happened next. It had happened before. She would be the one to push, and it would be his turn to pull away. It was as if she already knew what he was going to say. It would be too dangerous for them to be together.

“To live without risk is to risk not living. And I’m tired of just living. I want to be alive. And that’s with you.”

Jason took both of her hands in his, and moved so he was facing her. All kidding aside, he looked deep into her eyes.

 _In my eyes,  
__You can see it now,  
__Can we start again, can we start again?_  

“I want…I want you, and the boys. I want our child. I want to be a father to our child. I want to be a father to Cameron and Aiden. I want us to live as a family, because you…you are my family Elizabeth. And you’re my home. Most of all, I want to be the man you deserve.” 

 _Emptiness inside me, wonder if you see  
_ _It's my mistake and it's hurting me_

Elizabeth heard the sincerity in his voice, and her answer caught in her throat.

“I want all of that…with you.”

She smiled as she leaned in for another kiss that sealed them together. From here on out, she knew that he wasn’t going anywhere. No matter how hard or dangerous it got, she knew that he would stay because he finally understood. They were safer together, not apart.

 _I known where we've been_  
_How did we get so far?  
_ _What if, what if we start again?_

“You’re perfect, you know that?”

Elizabeth blushed as Jason placed a kiss on the top of her head. She loved it when he would say these type of things, knowing that they were sincere and genuine. They held each other for hours in that room. They were grateful that no one bothered to find them.

Finally, there was a knock on the door, and Jason stood up to answer it.

“McBain, what do you want?”

“Just have a few questions to ask you about Corinthos’ death.”

Jason sighed, and turned around to look at Elizabeth. She nodded her head, and he closed the door behind him. He walked John over to a private corner, out of earshot.

“What do you want?”

“I found this in Sonny’s pocket.”

John pulled out the piece of paper that had “Jake is alive” along with a encrypted code after it.

“Now I know about Jake-”

Jason’s anger flared and he pushed John up against the wall.

“Don’t ever say his name.”

John put his hands up in surrender.

“I want to help you Morgan.”

Jason didn’t move, and continued to hold John up against the wall.

“Why would you want to help me?”

“You know about Cole, right? He was like a son to me, and if I knew that there was a small inch of hope that he was alive, I would be after him in a heartbeat.”

Jason let go of McBain, who straightened his jacket.

“Do you know what this code means?”

“No, all Spinelli sent me is that Sonny knew about what happened.”

“Alright, I’ll get this down to the PCPD-”

“Wait, let me give it to one of my men. He may be able to crack it faster.”

John shrugged his shoulders and handed the piece of paper back to Jason.

“What about Elizabeth? She deserves to know.”

Jason sighed.

“And what happens if this proves to be a fake? Do you know what kind of pain that would cause her?”

John nodded as Jason pulled out his phone.

“Brad, this is Jason. I need you to decrypt this code.”

_“Okay, what is it?”_

“2trolsitw43eewl.”

Jason could hear Brad typing in the numbers and letters.

_“Alright, the closest possible match to actual words is 234 Willow Street.”_

“234 Willow Street?”

“Hey, I know where that is.”

“Thanks Brad.”

_“No problem Boss.”_

Jason hangs up the phone and turns to John.

“Where is it?”

“I’m coming with you.”

Jason crossed his arms.

“Like hell you are.”

“Look, I’m trying to help you here. Plus, you might need a detective, especially when it’s in his jurisdiction.”

“Pennsylvania?”

John nods his head.

Jason sighs and nods to John to follow him.

* * *

After driving for three hours and following John’s instruction, John finally breaks the silence.

“So I saw you and Elizabeth-”

Jason shoots him a glare, telling him to drop it.

“What, all of Port Charles saw the two of you together.”

“What Elizabeth and I share or do are none of you business.”

John scoffs at Jason’s primal instinct to protect Elizabeth.

“Do you love her?”

Jason doesn’t answer him at first.

“She is the only one who ever listened to me.”

“A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.”

Jason shakes his head at John, knowing his words were true.

They finally come to a dead end, only a dirt path to the side leading off into the woods.

“Are you sure this is it?”

“Yeah.”

Jason peered out of the window and saw the small dirt path that led off into the woods.

“Looks like we have to go on foot.”

They both get out and make their way up the dirt path. They walk for about a mile, silence between them except for the crunch of dirt beneath their boots.

A cabin comes into view, and they both pull out their guns.

“Just this once, Morgan.”

Jason nods as he makes his way up to the cabin, gun aimed while McBain covered for him. Jason gets to the door and John is right behind him. He checks the window, but there aren’t any lights on. John looks at Jason, who nods.

Jason kicks the door down while John goes in, gun aimed. He follows John into the main room where he nearly fainted.

* * *

Elizabeth clocked in for her night shift. Cameron and Aiden were with Grams.

She peered around, seeing that it was mainly empty and everyone had left. After Jason had left a mysterious message on her voicemail, Elizabeth decided that the only way to keep her worry away was to work.

Taking her mind off of Jason was difficult, but she poured herself into her work. She chatted with her patients, being personable. They were always delighted to see her, telling her that she was their favorite nurse.

After a few hours of work, Elizabeth went on her break. She checked her phone to see that Jason had texted her, asking her to meet him at her house. She wondered what he could possibly want, but she obliged, knowing that he wouldn’t ask her away from work unless it was necessary.

* * *

Jason held onto the door for support.

_This can’t be real. This has to be a dream._

Only in his dreams did he ever see Jake.

But there was his son, peacefully playing with his toy motorcycles on the floor, with a surprised Amelia Joffe sitting on the couch watching him.

“Jason-what…how?”

Jason ignored her questions as he moved closer to Jake.

He looked up at Jason, and that was when Jason knew he wasn’t dreaming.

“Aunt Amy, who’s that?”

Jake looked at him, more like studied him. Jason fell to his knees in complete shock. Jake looked from him to Amelia, confused as to why this stranger was here.

“Jason, what are you doing here? How did you find us?”

Jason didn’t tear his eyes away from Jake when he answered Amelia.

“Sonny gave me the address.”

Amelia got up from the couch and helped Jason to a chair. John watched as Jason struggled to form a sentence.

“Hey, Jake, I’m Detective McBain. Do you mind if I play with you?”

Jake shook his head as John joined him, distracting him from Jason’s presence.

“Amelia, how is this possible? Why do you have my son?”

Jason’s anger rose. He thought of Amelia as an ally.

“I’m not here by choice. This man, Franco has kept me here for the past three years. And then, a little over a year ago, Jake was sent here. We’ve been here ever since.”

Jason’s unrelenting hate for Franco rose.

“Why didn’t you call me, or leave, or...something?”

“He has men check up on us regularly. I asked him why he wouldn’t let us go. He always said that it wasn’t the right time. That you couldn’t know about Jake yet. The only reason Sonny found out was because Franco let him.”

Jason sighed as his gaze moved back to Jake.

“How is this possible?”

Amelia sighed as she sat down on the couch opposite of Jason.

“I’ve been here for three years, and from I can tell, Franco never did this out of hate or malice. He made it sound like he was doing you a favor, like he was helping out a family member.”

“He’s my half-brother.”

Amelia nodded her head, as if she already knew this.

“He told me how he did it.”

Jason waited for her to continue.

“Helena Cassadine imprisoned Franco before he came to Port Charles two years ago. He learned of Helena's plot to kill Aiden, the Spencer heir, when she was holding him captive. She brainwashed him to be under her command. When Helena believed he had been successfully brainwashed, she let him go to wreak havoc on Port Charles. Except he was only somewhat brainwashed. His emotions were heightened, and once he learned that Jake was your son and that you were his half-brother, Franco became obsessed with you and Jake due to his brainwashing.”

Amelia stopped to take a breath, and Jason watched his son. He was moving his toy motorcycle around on the carpet, laughing when it crashed with John’s motorcycle. Jason reluctantly tore his gaze away from Jake and back to Amelia.

“Then what happened?”

“Jason, I’m not sure-”

“I need to know.”

Amelia sighed and continued her story.

“Franco…he was…he was the one who pulled Jake out of the road when one of Helena's henchmen lured him outside. He had replicated a clone of Jake with the help of Dr. David Heyward. Franco placed the clone's body on the road, fooling everyone.”

“How is that possible?”

“I have no idea. I had trouble believing it myself, until Franco showed me Jake’s DNA test.”

Jason nodded as Amelia continued.

“He was forced into hiding once Helena learned of his deception. Helena captured him, and fully brainwashed him. Helena has hated the illegitimate child of Mikkos and Kristen, Alexis, and found a way to exact revenge. She ordered him to kidnap Sam on her honeymoon with you and rape her. Franco fought the brainwash, and fooled everyone, including Helena into thinking that he raped Sam. Franco also learned of Sam's deception. He told me that he tried to warn you. The last time I saw him, he said he was going to convince you once and for all.”

“That what he meant when I killed him. That I’ll never know.”

“Jason, I’m so sorry. I should have tried to do something-”

Jason waved off her apology.

“It’s okay. You protected my son, and have made sure he was safe. I’m grateful for that.”

Amelia nodded as Jason got up. He moved towards Jake, and John noticed. He got up and moved towards Amelia to ask some questions.

“Hey there buddy. Do you remember me?”

Jake looked up from his motorcycles, and Jason’s heart squeezed as he saw his own eyes looking back at him.

“We played at the hospital. You said that you have a bike.”

Jason struggled to find the words to speak. He wiped away a tear.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m very happy to see you. I’m a friend of your mommy’s.”

“You know my mommy?”

Jake’s eyes lit up at the mention of Elizabeth.

“Yes, I know her very well. And I also know that she misses you very much.”

“I miss my mommy.”

Jake looked down at his motorcycles in sadness.

“What if I can take you to your mommy?”

Jake smiled as Jason moved closer to him.

“You can take me to my mommy?”

Jason nodded his head. Jake jumped up and ran into Jason’s arms.

Amelia and John watched as the Mob Enforcer sobbed while holding his son in his arms.

* * *

Elizabeth closed the door behind her. She hadn’t received another text from Jason.

She pulled her coat up and checks her phone. It’s almost three in the morning and she didn’t realize how tired she was. Elizabeth goes upstairs and changes into a pair of black yoga pants and a red V-neck t-shirt. She yawns as she heads back downstairs. Sitting down on the couch, Elizabeth decides to turn on the TV to help pass the time.

Before she realizes it, she wakes up to motorcycle turning off it’s engine. She knows it’s him before he knocks on the door.

Elizabeth opens it to see Jason with a puzzled look on his face.

"How long have you been waiting?"

"Long enough to hear you ride up. You know, whenever you left, when I'd hear a motorcycle, there was this split second where I'd think it was you. So I guess the real answer is I've been waiting since you left."

Elizabeth moved aside to lead Jason inside.

She stands next to the couch, arms cross and waiting for an answer.

“Why did you text me?”

Jason fidgeted from where he was standing near the fireplace, hands in his jean pockets.

“What's more important? What we become, or how we become it?”

“I don’t know what you’re asking.”

 _I'm lost inside the pain I feel without you,  
_ _I can't stop holding on, I need you with me!!!_

“Our biggest regrets are not for the things we have done but for the things we haven’t done and said that might have saved some one we cared about.”

Once the words left his mouth, Elizabeth knew that he was referring to Jake. He still felt guilty for abandoning, even after she forgave him.

"I used to think that giving up a child is unforgivable, but what you did… it was an act of grace. You are a good father Jason."

She saw the tears starting to fall down his cheeks and moved closer to him. She took his face in her hands, and wiped them away. Elizabeth could feel him closing himself off, putting up his walls.

"I can't lose you. I know that sounds selfish, but I never said I was perfect."

Jason looked up to see tears forming in her eyes.

"You won't lose me. And you're right; you never said you were perfect. I did."

Jason closed his eyes as their foreheads touched and their lips met in an intimate embrace. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Jason couldn’t keep this in any longer. Their foreheads connected, and he could feel her cool breath on his lips.

Her hands rested on his chest, while his rest on her hips.

"Nothing has turned out the way I expected, but when I look at you, I feel the ground under my feet again."

Elizabeth remembered when he first said this to her. It was when Jake was kidnapped the first time, and Jason was stuck in jail. She pulled away to look into his eyes.

“I remember you... I remember the boy who got shot, the one who bled in my arms and stayed alive for me. I remember the man he became and love he gave, the sacrifices he made... I was yours then and I am now and will always be.”

“I love you Elizabeth. I want to share a life with you, Cameron, Aiden and our new baby. Can we…can we start again?”

 _I'm trapped inside the pain_  
_Can we ever start again?  
_ _I'm lost without you!!!_

Elizabeth smiled as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I love you Jason. Always and forever.”

 _One more try,  
_ _Can we start again?_

He pulled her close, and finally reluctantly let go.

“Now, I need you to promise me not to freak out.”

“Jason, I don’t understand-”

“I need you to promise me.”

Elizabeth nodded her head as Jason let go of her and moved towards the door.

She was beyond confused as she watched him walk out the front door. It took him a minute to return, but she yelled in surprise when she saw who he was holding in her arms.

“Mommy!”

Jason kneeled down and let Jake run into his waiting mother’s arms.

“JAKE?! Is that…Jake…how…oh Mommy’s here. Mommy’s here.”

She clutched her son tightly to her chest, collapsing to the ground. Elizabeth was bawling her eyes out, and she was shaking so badly.

This couldn’t be happening. She can’t be holding her son in her arms again. She had dreamt of this moment ever since his apparent death.

Elizabeth held onto Jake tightly, refusing to let go. He wrapped his little arms and legs around her, clutching his mother. She didn’t notice Jason at first, until he picked them up and placed them on the couch.

 _In my eyes, can you forgive me now?  
_ _(Can we start again?)_

Elizabeth felt his arms wrap around the both of them, cocooning them in his safe and protective arms. Jason closed his eyes as he heard Elizabeth cry herself into exhaustion, and he soon followed her and his son into a deep sleep.

He had finally gotten it right. But maybe someone up above was helping him out and gave him a happy ever after.

 _Can we start again (one more try?)  
_ _Can we start again?_

After all these years, he was finally holding the love of his life and the child they created together in his arms, and he would never let them go.

 _Can we start again (can you forgive me?  
_ _Can we start again?_


	24. Epilogue

**_Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, just the storyline._ **

* * *

 " _Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest."_

* * *

**Chapter 24**

_Epilogue_

_Previously on Start Again…_

_“I love you Elizabeth. I want to share a life with you, Cameron, Aiden and our new baby. Can we…can we start again?”_

_Elizabeth smiled as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear._

_“I love you Jason. Always and forever.”_

_He pulled her close, and finally reluctantly let go._

_“Now, I need you to promise me not to freak out.”_

_“Jason, I don’t understand-”_

_“I need you to promise me.”_

_Elizabeth nodded her head as Jason let go of her and moved towards the door._

_She was beyond confused as she watched him walk out the front door._

_It took him a minute to return, but she yelled in surprise when she saw who he was holding in her arms._

_“Mommy!”_

_Jason kneeled down and let Jake run into his waiting mother’s arms._

_“JAKE?! Is that…Jake…how…oh Mommy’s here. Mommy’s here.”_

_She clutched her son tightly to her chest, collapsing to the ground. Elizabeth was bawling her eyes out, and she was shaking so badly._

_This couldn’t be happening. She can’t be holding her son in her arms again. She had dreamt of this moment ever since his apparent death._

_Elizabeth held onto Jake tightly, refusing to let go. He wrapped his little arms and legs around her, clutching his mother._ _She didn’t notice Jason at first, until he picked them up and placed them on the couch._ _Elizabeth felt his arms wrap around the both of them, cocooning them in his safe and protective arms._

_Jason closed his eyes as he heard Elizabeth cry herself into exhaustion, and he soon followed her and his son into a deep sleep._

_He had finally gotten it right. But maybe someone up above was helping him out and gave him a happy ever after._ _After all these years, he was finally holding the love of his life and the child they created together in his arms, and he would never let them go._

**_September 27 th, 2012_ **

Jason knocked on the front door and patiently waited for it to be opened.

 _Afraid it won't come 'round again  
_ _Afraid to move on_

He smiled when he saw who was on the other side.

“You know you don’t have to knock anymore. You practically live here anyways.”

Elizabeth moved aside to let Jason in, but not before he pulled her to him for a kiss.

“I like this morning so far.”

Jason smirked as Elizabeth closed the door behind him.

“Where are the boys?”

“Waiting for you in the kitchen.”

Jason nodded, and right on cue, Cameron came running through the door.

“Daddy!”

Jason kneeled down to catch Cameron in his arms. He still wasn’t used to Cameron called him Dad, but he and Elizabeth had a long talk with Cameron about Lucky. They told him that Jason was going to be around a lot more, and it was okay that Cameron had two dads. Cameron started calling Jason Dad immediately, like it was meant to be.

 _Wishing I could go back when  
_ _Everything was easier and meaningful to me_

Aiden came waddling out after his oldest brother.

Jason holds out his arms, and Aiden giggles when he picks him up and lightly tosses him in the air.

 _Wanting all we left behind  
_ _Like it's the answer_

Jason held Aiden on his hip, with Cameron holding his hand.

“Where’s Jake?”

They turned around to hear a crash on the stairs. Jason tried not to laugh when he saw Jake ride his tricycle down the stairwell. Jake got up to see Elizabeth’s horrified face.

It had been two weeks since Jason had brought Jake home, but Elizabeth rarely let Jake out of her sights. She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

“Jacob Martin Webber.”

Jake’s head fell when he heard the tone in his mother’s voice.

“I’m sorry Mama.”

Looking into Jake’s eyes, she could see Jason looking right back at her.

“Go get your coat.”

Jake smiled when he realized he wasn’t in trouble. Cameron went racing after him.

Elizabeth shook her head and took Aiden from Jason’s arms.

“He is still as fearless as ever.”

Elizabeth smirked at Jason’s comment.

“Well, he is his father’s son.”

Jason smiled.

It was harder getting Jake used to Jason. The only father figure he had ever known was Lucky. Cameron was easier because he’s known Jason since he was born. Jake stilled called Jason by his name, although Elizabeth had explained to him that Jason was his real dad. Jason hopes that someday his son will call him Dad. For now, he’s perfectly all right just being able to hold his son in his arms.

Cameron and Jake came bounding down the steps, and waited by the door.

“I’m going to go put Aiden in the car seat.”

“Okay.”

Jason gave her a kiss. Cameron and Jake followed her out. He turned around to look around at the house he was starting to call home.

 _An hour glass we can't rewind  
_ _Holding back the life that I've denied for so long_

Every night, he would return to his penthouse. He agreed with Elizabeth that he couldn’t move in yet, and that they had to take one step at a time.

“Daddy, are you coming?”

Jason’s eyes teared up when he turned around to see Jake standing by the doorway.

“Yeah, Jake, I’m coming.”

* * *

**_December 19 th, 2012_ **

“Are you packed yet?”

Jason was impatiently waiting downstairs.

“You can’t expect me to pack my entire life up in one day.”

“Just pack necessary clothes, we can buy the rest there.”

Elizabeth came down the steps with two suitcases.

“Here, are you happy?”

 _Can I find my way to you?  
_ _And After all that we've been through_

Jason smiled as he took the suitcases from her hands and helped her down the steps. Once she got to the last one, he picked her up and twirled her around. Once he set her down, she was giggling.

“What was that for?”

Jason shrugged and smiled as he leaned in for a kiss.

“Ew, Mama and Daddy are kissing.”

Jason pulled away to see Jake standing in the kitchen doorway with Cameron right behind him. Elizabeth smiled as she pulled away to chase her middle son. Cameron and Jason soon joined in. They all jumped onto the couch, where a wrestling match ensued. Well, mostly it was Elizabeth watching while Cameron and Jake climbed over Jason.

“C’mon boys, we going to miss our flight.”

Cameron and Jake excitedly got up and ran to the door.

“Milo’s waiting outside with the car.”

Elizabeth nodded, but that didn’t stop her from being worried about Jake running through that doorway. She was sure that was never going to go away. Jason pulled her into his lap, and pulled her face to his. She deepened the kiss, until she remembered that they were running late. Elizabeth reluctantly pulled away.

"You know Jason, before this moment, I used to think that my dreams were better than reality… but being with you blows my dreams away."

Jason smirked at her compliment, and pulled her closed for another kiss. He suddenly felt her shaking and pulled away to see her crying.

“Elizabeth, what’s wrong?”

Elizabeth smiled, and wiped her tears away.

“I’m sorry. It’s these damn pregnancy hormones. I’m so emotional right now.”

Jason looked down to the small bump in her stomach, and he felt his heart swell with pride knowing that she was carrying his child.

"I don't want to watch you hurt. I want to see you smile the way you do when you're free. I want to show you the light is different in Italy than any other place in the world. Will you come with me?"

He saw the shock in her eyes. He had asked her to go on vacation right before Christmas, which she already thought was crazy, but he didn’t tell her where until now.

“We’re going to Italy?”

Jason nodded his head, and Elizabeth squealed as she gave him a hug. He held on tight, knowing how special this was for the both of them.

 _And after all we left in Pieces  
_ _I still believe our lives have just begun_

* * *

**_February 13 th, 2013_ **

“Careful with your brother Cameron!”

Elizabeth intently watched as Cameron splashed Aiden with water.

She looked up to feel the warm sun on her ivory skin. No matter how many days she spent under the sun, her skin stayed the same color. Elizabeth felt strong, masculine arms carefully wrap around her very pregnant stomach. She leaned back into his embrace as they watched their children play in the surf.

Elizabeth felt his warm breath on her neck and turned around to look up into his electric blue eyes. She ran his hands down his tan chest and over his abs. She felt his muscles contract with her every touch. 

“I love you.”

Elizabeth looked up to see Jason smiling. He leaned down and caught her lips in a searing kiss.

Jason had surprised them all when his present to Elizabeth for Christmas was adoption papers for Cameron and Aiden.  He had also surprised her this morning by buying her a red glass vase for Valentine’s Day. He had hoped that she would paint a picture of the vase with beautiful assorted flowers inside.

They pulled away to walk hand in hand down to the water. Jason stopped to look at the picture in front of him. The red Italian sun was fading in the horizon as Cameron, Jake and Aiden ran around in the shallows. Elizabeth, in her bikini clad figure and sheer robe, slowly chased after them, careful not to push herself too hard.

He looked down at himself; surprised that Elizabeth had convinced him months ago to stop wearing his traditional black t-shirt and jeans everyday. He was now wearing navy board shorts and his muscular torso was bare. Jason looked up to see Elizabeth beckoning to him, a sight he would never get used to, even after all these months of living in Venice, Italy with their three sons. 

* * *

**_June 4 th, 2013_ **

“Elizabeth, baby, you’re doing great.”

Jason pushed her damp hair out of her eyes and lovingly kissed her forehead, and whispered encouragement into her ear while she held onto his hand for dear life.

The Italian doctor was busy directing Elizabeth, bits and pieces they could pick up, but the doctor couldn’t speak much English. Elizabeth had carried their baby past full-term, and it was almost ten months, until Elizabeth’s water had broke that morning.

They rushed to the nearest hospital, only to discover their normal doctor was not in that day.

“God, Jason, I fucking hate you right now.”

Elizabeth said this with a wry smile, letting Jason know that it was okay that she was in pain.

Four painstaking hours later, their baby girl was born. Jason joined Elizabeth on her small bed and wrapped his arms around his two favorite girls.

“What are we going to name her?”

Elizabeth had the perfect name in mind, but she wasn’t sure if Jason would be okay with it.

“I think Samantha is a beautiful name.”

Jason rolled his eyes at her snarky comment. He knew that she was kidding and Sam was just a name in the past. They had long gotten over anything that happened in recent years, and moved on; looking forward to each day they spent with each other and their children.

“That’s really funny.”

“I thought it was.”

Elizabeth looked down at their daughter. She had a tuft of dark hair, but her eyes hadn’t opened yet.

“Kidding aside, I was wondering if Emily was okay.”

Elizabeth turned her gaze from their daughter to Jason.

“I think that’s perfect. And I know Emily would love that her niece was named after her.”

“Okay, Emily, now what about her middle name?”

Jason held Emily’s tiny hand in his much larger one.

“I was thinking we could name her after your grandmother.”

“Audrey?”

“Yeah, I know the two of you didn’t get along sometimes, but I know she loves you very much and always wanted what’s best for you. And she was always there for you, especially when your parents weren’t.”

Elizabeth smiled and leaned in to kiss Jason. She pulled away to look down at their daughter.

“Welcome to the world, Emily Audrey Morgan.”

 _Cause now the past can be outrun_  
_And I know you are the reason  
_ _I still believe the best is yet to come_

* * *

**_December 24 th, 2014_ **

Elizabeth pulled the blanket up around her, and snuggled deeper into the leather couch.

 _A photograph's still in your hands  
_ _Afraid to let it go_

She stared into fire in front of her, reliving how she has spent the past two years. They had been living in a villa in Venice, Italy. Elizabeth loved it too much to move anywhere else. The boys were starting to learn Italian. Emily was just starting to talk. She couldn’t imagine living anywhere else after living in Italy.

She heard Jason come down the steps and towards her. Elizabeth moved over on the couch so Jason could sit beside her. She moved so she was lying against his chest. He pulled the blanket over her, making sure she was comfortable.

“Are the boys asleep?”

“I think so. They’re so excited for tomorrow.”

“I remember when I was their age and getting everything I wanted for Christmas.”

“Everything?”

Elizabeth was puzzled by his question, but she was immediately stunned when Jason got up and kneeled down in front of her.

Earlier that day, Aiden had asked why they weren’t married. Both had no idea how to answer his question. Finally, Elizabeth said that a man and a woman don’t have to be married to be in love. She knew that for the rest of the day, Jason had been bothered by that question.

 _The minutes rain like grains of sand_  
_And time is just a war that's stealing dreams from within  
_ _So come and take them back again_

“These last two years have been the best of my life. Living here with you, Cameron, Jake, Aiden and Emily…I can’t picture myself anywhere else. I think I’ve been in love with you since the day you saved me in the snow fifteen years ago. Sometimes those feelings were buried, but they never went away Elizabeth. And they’re never going to go away. I…I want to marry you.”

Tears were rolling down her cheeks as he poured his heart and soul to her.

“Jason, I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing anything-”

Elizabeth and Jason both stood up at the same time.

“Pressured? I already told you I’d marry you three times, two times you said no, and the third time…you finally said yes.”

He took her hands in his, hoping that she wouldn’t say no.

“Well, it’s not because I didn’t want to. Oh my God, you have no idea how hard it was not to say yes. So ask me again.”

Jason looked down at their entwined hands, then back up into her sapphire eyes.

 _And After all that we've been through  
_ _And after all we left in Pieces_

“Will you marry me?”

Elizabeth smiled before she answered.

“Yes. Yes!”

She laughed as he picked her up and twirled her around. Setting her back down on her feet, he pulled her in for a deep kiss.

 _I still believe our lives have just begun  
_ _Cause now the past can be outrun_

All of a sudden, they heard giggling on the stairwell. They both look to see Cameron and Jake sitting on the stairs smiling. They both run upstairs when they’re caught.

The two parents don’t bother to reprimand them because nothing could ruin that moment. It was truly a Christmas miracle.

 _And I know you are the reason  
_ _I still believe the best is yet to come_

* * *

**_April 2 nd, 2015_ **

Jason watched as Elizabeth walked towards him.

 _I won't turn around  
_ _Let it all slip away_

Her sleeveless white gown glowed in the fading Italian sun as her bare feet moved through the sand. She smiled as Jake and Emily walked in front of her. Emily threw red rose petals into the wind, while Jake beamed at his father.

Elizabeth finally made her way to Jason, where he took his hands in hers.

 _I'm never backing down_  
_Cause tomorrow's a new day  
_ _And everything can change_

The ceremony was small. As Jason and Elizabeth stood under the simple white arch with white rose petals entwined in it’s vines, Cameron, Jake, Aiden and Emily stood in attendance, as well as their housekeeper as a witness.

The priest finally got to their vows, where Jason and Elizabeth decided to write their own.

“Elizabeth, if you may, please profess your vows to Jason.”

Taking his hands in hers, and looking deep into his electric blue eyes, she swallowed any nerves she had and took the plunge.

“You listened when nobody else could hear me. You trusted me to live my own life when I didn't even trust myself. You make me happy. You make me feel free. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over."

Happy tears threatened to fall, but with Jason smiling in front of her, she resisted.

“Jason, if you may, please profess your vows to Elizabeth.”

Jason looked down at their entwined hands, took a deep breath, and looked back into her sapphire orbs, the only ones he could ever dream about.

"I do know what I get from you Elizabeth. You're so beautiful and smart. You make me see things that I never noticed until you pointed them out. You have a lot of dreams, which is good because I hardly have any so I can believe in yours. That's what you bring to me. I can't even being to describe how long I want to be with you, so we'll start with forever."

The priest smiled, seeing how personal these vows are between Jason and Elizabeth.

“Do you, Jason Morgan, take Elizabeth Imogene Webber, to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Jason didn’t hesitate with his answer.

“I do.”

“Do you, Elizabeth Imogene Webber, take Jason Morgan, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Elizabeth didn’t hesitate with her answer.

“I do.”

“Then by the power invested in me by the Catholic Church, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Jason eagerly took Elizabeth in his arms, and placed a tender kiss on her lips. Pulling away, they look into each other’s eyes, seeing the long and happy future ahead of them as husband and wife.

* * *

**_June 13 th, 2015_ **

She impatiently waits for the plus sign to appear, and to her delight, it does. Elizabeth hears the front door close, signaling to her that Jason and their children are back from the market. She hears Jason call out for her, but she’s too stunned to answer. He tells the children to go play in the playroom while he checks on Mommy.

Jason bounds up the steps and into their bedroom, where he sees the bathroom door cracked ajar.

“Elizabeth, are you all right?”

With no answer from inside, he slightly pushes the door in. Jason sees a stunned Elizabeth sitting on the toilet, staring at something in her hand.

“Elizabeth?”

She looks up at him. He moves closer to her then stops once he realizes what it is she’s holding in her hands.

“You’re pregnant.”

Elizabeth smiles at the nervous look on her face.

“Good work Daddy.”

She jumps up once she sees him breathe a sigh of relief. He holds her close, reveling in the miracle they created together.

“How far along are you?”

“About two and a half months.”

Jason smiled at the realization that he was going to have another child with Elizabeth. Their family seemed to be growing bigger and bigger.

“That means that we-”

“Conceived this child on our wedding night.”

Jason took her hand in his and led her back into their bedroom.

“I think this is a cause for celebration.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well, I was thinking we could recreate our wedding night for starters.”

Elizabeth licked her lips in anticipation, knowing how special and perfect their wedding night really was.

* * *

**_January 4 th, 2016_ **

“What’s his name?”

Jake was sitting on the bed beside his mother, watching her sleep with his new baby brother.

“We haven’t decided yet.”

“Why not?”

“Well, Mommy is very tired and she needed to rest. So does the baby.”

“Can I name him?”

Jason looked at his second oldest son. He was going to be nine soon. He couldn’t believe it had been nine years since his first child had been born.

“I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you get your brothers and sister together, come up with five boy names you can agree on, and then Mommy and I can pick from those?”

Jake smiles at the idea of getting to name his brother.

“Okay!”

Jake leaps off the bed and out into the small waiting area outside Elizabeth’s room, where he pulled Cameron, Aiden and Emily to the small table and pulls a pen and paper, with their housekeeper watching from one of the chairs.

About ten minutes later, Cameron, Jake, Aiden and Emily come back in. By then Elizabeth is awake. Jason helps them all up onto the bed, where Elizabeth listens to each one tell her their pick of names.

“All right, so our choices are Bruce, Thor, Elliott, Thomas, and Garrett?”

Each of their children furiously nodded their heads.

“Okay, why don’t you let Daddy and I talk about it and decide?”

They agreed and left the parents to talk.

“You let them choose five names?”

Jason smiled as he got up on the bed beside her.

“I thought it was okay.”

“You think it will be okay if we name our son Thor?”

Jason smiled, knowing that Cameron loved the superhero from the Avengers.

“What about Bruce?”

“This baby wasn’t born in the 50s.”

Jason smirked at Elizabeth smarminess.

“Okay, so Bruce and Thor are out. How about Elliott?”

Elizabeth thought about the name, and then looked down at their baby son.

“I think that could work.”

“We could call him Eli for short.”

“And his middle name?”

Jason thought long and hard, but Elizabeth came up with this one.

“Since you picked Emily’s middle name, it’s only fair I pick Eli’s.”

“Fine, what is your choice?”

“Alan.”

Jason smiled, knowing what it meant to name his son after his father.

“I know you had a troubled relationship with your father, and it suffered near the end of his life, but I do know that he loved you very much, no matter how much he wanted you to be someone else. And I know you loved him.”

Jason nodded.

“Okay, then. Elliott Alan Morgan.”

* * *

**_March 12 th, 2020_ **

Sixteen year-old Cameron Morgan was running down the narrow alley, hearing yelling behind him.

“I’m gonna get you boy! I don’t care if you’re Morgan’s son or not!”

Cameron smiled as he turned around to see the man a good forty yards behind him. He winked at the man, and took off into the market square. He dodged between vendors selling their wares, snagging an apple on the way by.

Taking a shortcut home, he knows he lost the man ten minutes ago. He knew this city like it was the back of his hand. Knowing that his mother was going to yell at him for messing around with the blacksmith’s daughter, Cameron knew it was well worth it.

Cristina was a classmate of his, and they had been flirting for a while. She had beautiful dark hair that fell past her waist, and emerald green eyes. She found his roguish good looks very attractive, along with his short, curly dark hair and brown impish eyes.

Cameron walked up the villa steps and opened the front door. His mother’s stern gaze greeted him as she was sitting on the steps.

He flashed her a smirk that looked eerily familiar to his biological father, Zander Smith.

“Cameron Lewis Webber, Mr. Alfonso just called. He said he caught you and Cristina having…”

Cameron crossed his arms and waited for his mother to continue her yelling, but she couldn’t say her eldest child was having sex.

“You know, your father and I can still have the sex talk.”

“Mom!”

Cameron shook his head. He had successfully avoided the sex talk with his parents so far, but now that he was literally shit deep in trouble, he knew it was inevitable.

“Cameron, you’re only sixteen. I don’t think that’s the proper age to have sex.”

“Mom, I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“Well, we’re going to, because something has to change.”

“What’s going on?”

Jason walked in through the screen door, with Aiden and Emily trailing behind him. Elizabeth turned around to greet Jason, but Cameron took his chance and ran back out the front door.

“Oh, I was just about to read your son the Riot Act.”

Jason smiled, knowing that Elizabeth was stern, but never too harsh with her children.

“All right, well I was just going to make lunch for Aiden and Emily.”

“Mommy, we made a sand castle!”

Her second youngest child had a mop of blond curls, the perfect mix of Jason and Elizabeth’s hair. However, she had the same eyes as Jason and Jake.

“You did? Why don’t you go wash up with your brother?”

“C’mon Em.”

Aiden held out his hand, and led Emily to the bathroom. Aiden however looked mainly like Elizabeth. He had the same nose, same hair. The only thing he inherited from his father was his pale blue eyes.

Jason and Elizabeth made their way to the kitchen, where she had previously been making lunch for Eli. The four year old was sitting in his chair, coloring his pictures. He had inherited his mother’s artistic abilities, and was the most similar to her demeanor. He was impatient, feisty, but kind and generous at the same time. His eyes were the alluring azure, while his hair was dirty blonde, but got darker with each day.

“Mommy, feed!”

Elizabeth smiled as Jason went over to his youngest son to appease him.

“Lunch is coming, Eli.”

Eli smiled in return and went back to his drawings.

Elizabeth pulled out ingredients for sandwiches.

“Where’s Jake?”

“Where do you think?”

Jason smirked, knowing exactly what the twelve year old was doing. Hearing the banging in the garage, Jason opened the door to see Jake working on his dirt bike.

“Need some help, buddy?”

Jake looked up, and Jason caught his breath. If Jason had pictures of when he was a kid, he knew Jake would be an exact replica. They both had blonde hair, electric blue eyes, a quiet and indifferent demeanor.

Jake wiped away at the smeared oil on his face.

“Sure Dad.”

Jason kneeled down beside him, inspecting the small bike.

“You know you can’t take this with you.”

“I know.”

The Morgan family was moving back to Port Charles in two days. Jason and Elizabeth had agreed that even though Venice was a beautiful city, and they wouldn’t trade the last seven years for anything, they both felt that Port Charles was their true home.

“But we’ll be able to buy you another one.”

Jake eyes lit up. Ever since he had gotten his dirt bike that past Christmas, he spent every day either riding it or working on it. He was definitely his father’s son.

“All right, well lunch is almost ready.”

“Okay Dad.”

Jason smiled, knowing that Jake liked the quiet and peacefulness that came with the garage.

* * *

**_April 23 rd, 2020_ **

“Jason, I’m surprised to see you here, alone.”

“May I come in?”

“Certainly.”

Audrey Hardy let her grandson-in-law into her home, surprised to see that he was here without Elizabeth.

“Please sit down.”

She guides him to the couch, where she decides to sit in the chair.

“Would you care for anything to drink?”

Jason uneasily smiled at his grandmother-in-law.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

There was silence between the two of them for a few minutes.

“I don’t mean to be blunt, but I am curious to know why you’re here.”

Jason inwardly smiled, knowing that Elizabeth definitely took after her grandmother.

“I’m about as shocked as you are.”

Audrey settled into the chair, determined to at least hear Jason out.

“Now I know you and I don’t see eye to eye on many things.”

Audrey scoffed at Jason’s comment in agreement.

“But I do know we agree on one thing. We both love Elizabeth very much. I know that you don’t think I’m good enough for Elizabeth, and trust me, sometimes I don’t think so either, but what I do know is that I’m going to give her the life she deserves, to be loved and cared for. She deserves happiness after everything that’s happened to her, and I want to be the one to give it to her.”

“Well Jason, both you and Elizabeth are grown-ups, and now parents. I don’t think you need my input on the way you run your lives.”

Jason nodded his head, acknowledging that she was trying.

“I understand. I know we’ve been married for seven years now, and for me, it’s been the best seven years of my life. And that’s just because I get to wake up every day next to the love of my life.”

“I’m glad to know you aren’t taking my granddaughter for granted.”

“I’m not.”

“Jason, I know you love my granddaughter. It’s evident in the way you talk about her, and the look on your face right now. I have never liked your profession, and I do understand that you quit your previous job. What’s to say the danger won’t return?”

“The danger will always be there, but your granddaughter once said to me, many years ago, that love shouldn’t be safe. Granted, I thought I knew what that meant at the time, but it took me years to finally understand and come to terms with it. Elizabeth and I are safer together than apart.”

Audrey nodded, pleased with how Jason was arguing his part. He was truly defending his love for Elizabeth, something she had rarely seen in any man Elizabeth had ever been with. Actually, no man had ever come to her house by himself to plead his case to her.

“Ms. Hardy-”

“Please, call me Audrey.”

“Audrey, what I’m trying to say is…I would like to have your blessing to marry your granddaughter.”

Audrey audibly gasped, but quickly composed herself.

“I’m not sure…aren’t you already married?”

Jason chuckled to see that he had shocked Audrey.

“Yes, but I know Elizabeth always wanted a big wedding and for her friends to attend, especially her grandmother.”

Audrey doesn’t answer him for many minutes, but studies the man before her.

She noticed every time he said her granddaughter’s name; it was like a gentle caress. The way his eyes lit up when he spoke of a memory he shared with Elizabeth, she knew that they were truly happy and in love.

“I can see the love you have for Elizabeth. It is something I similarly shared with my husband. All I ever wanted for Elizabeth was everlasting love and happiness, and after talking to you today, I truly believe you can give it to her. Now, that doesn’t mean we’re always going to get along or see eye to eye on certain things, but yes, you have my permission to marry my granddaughter.”

Jason smiled and stood up. He surprised Audrey by wrapping his arms around her.

 _And After all that we've been through  
_ _And after all we left in Pieces_

“Welcome to the family Jason.”

* * *

**_April 24 th, 2020_ **

“Hey, Elizabeth, I was thinking we could go to Jake’s after work. Just like old times?”

Elizabeth looked up from her patient’s chart to see Nadine on the other side of the nurse’s station. Soon after returning to Port Charles, Elizabeth knew she wanted to work at GH. She decided to work part-time, while she painted and stayed at home to take care of the children.

“I would love that Nadine. Ask Kelly and Lainey if they want to go too.”

“I already did. We were just waiting on your answer.”

Nadine smiled as she walked down the hallway.

Later that night, all four women were at the bar at Jake’s. See that two seats were empty at the end, all four women felt the hole in their hearts that used to belong to Robin and Emily.

Elizabeth motioned to Coleman and order eight shots.

“To Robin and Emily.”

Each woman raised their shot glass in the air, downing pour shots quickly.

* * *

**_August 14 th, 2020_ **

“And now introducing for the second time, Mr. and Mrs. Jason Morgan.”

Jason held his arm out for Elizabeth to loop through his as they walked down the aisle together.

 _I still believe our lives have just begun  
_ _Cause now the past can be outrun_

As they walked by each attender one by one, Elizabeth thought of how their lives turned out.

The front row on Jason’s side held held Monica, Tracy, Ned, Dillon, and Steffy. Two years after Sonny’s death, the patriarch of the Quartermaine passed on to be with his beloved wife. Ned Aston returned for his grandfather’s funeral, and to help run parts of ELQ. Along with the return of Ned, Dillon Quartermaine returned home from Los Angeles for his grandfather’s funeral. Everyone is shocked to see that he is married to famous fashion designer Steffy Forrester and they are expecting their first child.

Edward’s will is read, and much to everyone’s surprise, he left everything to his grandson, Jason Morgan and his heirs, much to Tracy’s dismay.

In the front row on Elizabeth’s side was Audrey, and behind her was Patrick, Emma, Anna, Lulu, Mac. Patrick slowly comes to terms with Robin’s death. He remains a single father, raising Emma with the help of Anna, Matt, Maxie, Mac, Alexis and even Lulu. Lulu soon learned after Dante’s death that she was pregnant. She names her son Dominic, after his father’s alias he used when he first came to town. To support her son, Lulu enlists in the police academy and graduates. Anna hires her as a new officer at the PCPD.

Soon after Sam’s death, it is discovered that she wasn’t Alexis’ daughter. After prodding from many Port Charles residents, Alexis finally asks Mac to dinner.

In the front row on Jason’s side are Carly, Johnny, Michael, Starr, Morgan, and Josslyn. After Sonny’s death, Carly had grieved for days. The only one that could understand was Jason. While she appreciated him being there for her, Sonny’s death actually gave her an epiphany. Jason had his own family now to worry about, and she knew she would always care about him, but it was time for her to move on. She couldn’t come to him with every little problem. She had Johnny, and she needed to learn not to depend on Jason for everything.

Johnny helped her through her daily troubles, along with Josslyn and Michael. Sonny’s death gave Johnny an epiphany as well. Although he said he already gave up the Mob life for good, he made good on his promise. Johnny was tired as being referred to the Mob Prince, and he wanted to make a name for himself. He bought the Haunted Star from Luke and turned it into a nightclub. He also signed Starr to his new music label.

Michael soon graduated from Port Charles University, and joined a world-renowned lawyer firm with the help of his grandfather, Edward. He also finally asked Starr out on an official date. Morgan returned home from military school, as with Sonny dead, there was no imminent danger.

After about a year of dating, Carly proposes to Johnny, and he says yes. Soon afterwards, he formally adopts Morgan and Josslyn.

The third row consisted of Nadine, Matt, Lainey, and Kelly. Nadine Crowell returns from Seattle after getting her PhD. Monica soon hires her. She catches the attention of Dr. Matt Hunter, and they start dating. In the row behind Carly are Brenda, Jax, Diane, Maxie, Milo, Kristina and Ethan. Brenda and Jax return with their son Alec, happily married. Diane comes back to pursue her dream of running the Port Charles newspaper, as well as writing the gossip column. The surprise couple is Maxie and Milo, Jason’s old security guard. Kristina graduates from Yale, returning engaged to Ethan, with plans to become a fashion designer. After successfully completing his undercover assignment to out Sam, John goes home to Natalie and Liam in Llanview.

Exiting the doors, Jason and Elizabeth ascend the main stairwell to change into more appropriate attire for the wedding reception. Once changed into more comfortable clothes, they go back downstairs and into the main hall to see everyone clapping for them.

During the reception, they mingle about, talking to each and every person. Elizabeth finally pulls Jason to the side after returning from the bathroom.

“What’s wrong?”

Elizabeth smiled as she pulled Jason’s head down to her level so she could whisper in his ear.

“You’re pregnant?”

Jason pulled away to kiss Elizabeth in celebration, but she had something else to add.

“You’re expecting twins?”

Carly, who was standing nearby, nearly spit out her champagne all over Johnny.

“You’re having twins?”

Jason and Elizabeth both looked petrified as the whole ballroom went silent at Carly’s rather loud exclamation. Jason’s cheeks instantly reddened once he saw all the attention was on him. Elizabeth gently nudged him in the ribs, encouraging him to speak. He cleared his throat and took a big gulp from his champagne flute.

“As you may have heard from my dear friend Carly, Elizabeth and I are expecting our sixth and…well now seventh children.”

 _And I know you are the reason  
_ _I still believe the best is yet to come_

Jason adoringly looked down at Elizabeth, and captured her lips in a passionate kiss as their family and friends clapped for them in celebration.

Many hours later, as the party had went well into the night, Jason took Elizabeth outside as everyone followed. Jason pulled up in his motorcycle, handing Elizabeth his spare helmet. Her eyes lit up and she smiled from ear-to-ear.

Elizabeth couldn’t remember the last time she had ridden on the back of Jason’s motorcycle. Climbing on the back and tightly wrapping her arms around his waist, she leaned into him.

“The cliff roads?”

He could feel Elizabeth nod into his back. Revving the engine, he nodded to everyone as they waved goodbye, and sped off into the night.

After riding around for hours, taking the tight corner of the cliff road at dangerous speeds, he had timed it just right that they would end up at the Bridge to Nowhere just as the sun rose in the sky.

Walking hand in hand to their spot, they lean against the bridge and look down at the water below them.

“I have a present for you.”

Elizabeth looked up at Jason in surprise.

“Close your eyes.”

She obliged, and he placed a scroll of paper in her hands.

“Okay, you can open them.”

Elizabeth opens her eyes to see the paper in her hands. Confused as to what it may be, she decides to tease him first. 

 _I still believe the best is yet to come  
_ _The best is yet to come_

“Jason, you’re the most original gift giver I’ve ever met. I’ve gotten a piece of red glass, a postcard from Italy, a bat, and now a piece of paper.”

“It’s what’s on the paper that’s important.”

Elizabeth unwrapped the red ribbon and rolled the scroll open. After reading the first few sentences, her eyes tear up as she looks up at Jason.

“Is this…?”

“The deed to this property? Yes.”

Elizabeth smiled as she hugged Jason.

“I bought the property so we could build a home together.”

Elizabeth smiled as she pulled him down for a searing kiss. After a few minutes, they finally pulled away to watch the sunrise. Jason pulled her to his motorcycle, desperate to ride with her again.

_I still believe the best is yet to come_

“Where do you want to go?”

“Nowhere.”

 

_fin._


End file.
